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怎样获得他人的信任

Philip DeFranco: How To Make People Trust You

Philip DeFranco大概是YouTube平台上可信度最高的时事评论人
Philip DeFranco is probably the most trusted news person on YouTube
尤其是在当今时代:新闻的主流让人怀疑
and in an era where mainstream news is suspect
甚至连总统的嘴里
and allegations of fake news
都断言一些虚假新闻四处横飞
fly even from the president’s mouth…
”你说的是假的新闻!” ”继续吧”
You are fake news. Go ahead.
这似乎让Philip DeFranco成为
…that might make Philip DeFranco
全美国最让人信赖的新闻发言人
the most trusted news person in America.
在本短片里
In this video,
我想谈谈你们可以从Phily身上学到什么
I want to talk about what you can learn from Phily D.
使得你即使讲非常有争议性的问题
in terms of generating that kind of trust and respect
也能得到那样的信任和尊重
even when you’re talking about really controversial topics
不过我要提醒你
and let me warn you,
这并非永远会那么简单
this isn’t always going to be easy
但 就像说Phily说的 我们直接进入主题吧
but as Phil says, let’s just jump into it.
首先是关于偏见问题
First is the issue of bias.
新闻里 许多右翼或者左翼的人
In news, many on the right and the left
会长篇大论把自己描绘成一个不偏不倚的人
go to great lengths to portray themselves as unbiased
你在生活中如果想
which is what you may do in your own life
努力说服一件事时也经常这样
when you’re trying to be persuasive
不管是为了赢得一个政治主张
whether it’s to win a political argument
或者是为了劝别人去你喜欢的餐厅
or just to get someone to go to the restaurant that you like.
但是 看看Philip怎么做的
Instead, look at what Phil does.
联邦通信委员会把互联网服务作为共同的事业
…FCC identified internet services as a common carrier.
定位为条款二号管理任务
…as a regulatory designation known as Title II
这本质上意味着它将成为公共服务
which essentially means that it’s a utility.
但是现在新的委员会会长却说他想要扭转条款二号的错误
But now there’s a new FCC chairman saying he wants to reverse the mistake of Title II
并把它从新分类为条款一号
and reclassify it as a Title I.
在我继续之前 我想让你们知道我的立场
Before I move forward, just so you know where I stand on this,
我觉得它应该继续分类为条款二号
I believe that it should remain Title II —
应该继续保持为公共用途
that it should remain as a utility.
需要一个自由开放的互联网
We need a free and open internet…
而不只是接近一个自由和公开的互联网
…not standing by a free and open internet —
一个联邦通信委员会所认为“公共用途”的互联网
one that is seen by the FCC as a utility
其实是在支持垄断的行为
is pro-monopoly.
这是反商业的 而且它居然能够发生
It’s anti-business and it’s disgusting to me
实在令我反感
that this is even a possibility.
但这只是我个人观点——我们回来看看Philp是怎么提出这个主张的
But that’s my opinion — back to the story of Pi makes this proposal…
他清楚地在陈述事实
Phil clearly delineates
和提出自己观点之间划了界限
between the facts of the story and his own opinion.
他没有隐藏自己的偏见
Rather than hide his bias,
他反而表露了出来
he reveals it.
如果你想要让别人
This might seem counterintuitive
站在你这一边 这样似乎是和我们的直觉相反的
if you’re trying to win someone to your side after all.
让别人知道你抱有偏见
Wouldn’t knowing that you’re biased
不会让别人更抵触你的想法吗?
make them more likely to resist?
实际上是不会的
Actually, no.
因为我们身边有太多人
Because we are so overexposed
努力想要不留痕迹地
to people who are trying to persuade us
说服我们一些事情
through secretive means
他们出现在广告上 新闻上
in ads, on the news,
日常生活的各个方面
and in our daily lives,
我们知道人都是有偏见的
we know that people have biases
也有一些不愿告人的动机
and ulterior motives
并且我们会最怀疑那些
and we’re most suspicious of those people
声称自己没有偏见和动机的人
who claim not to have them.
所以通过表露自己的偏见
So in revealing his own biases,
Philip把许多现在主流的骗人的新闻
Phil separates himself from a lot of
和自己脱离开来
the deception going on in the mainstream news
并实际上让人们更加的相信他
and actually makes people more able to trust him.
我们可以不赞同他的观点 我们依然可以相信他陈述的事实
While we may not agree with his opinion,
我们依然可以相信他陈述的事实
we can trust his facts.
你可能会不同意这一点
…and that is you are going to disagree with
在许多场合你可能需要被迫接受一个事实
but unlike most places you’re going to consume
或者一个观点 但这里不同
news or consume opinion,
这里是可以持不同意见的
it is okay here.
这里会有各种事实 不同的观点
…going to be the facts, the different points of views,
以及各方不同的论证
the different arguments from all sides,
然后我会发表我的意见 这没什么
and then I will give my opinion and it is okay.
你可以不同意——
It’s okay to disagree —
世界又不是只有两种或三种人
we all don’t live in
我们是其中一种
one of two or three boxes.
但成为值得信任的人不只需要展示自己的偏见
But being trustworthy isn’t just about reviewing your biases.
如果你想要别人真的相信你
If you want people to truly trust you,
你就必须偶尔
you’re going to have to
作出与自己利益相反的事
act against your own interests on occasion.
毕竟 如果服务员告诉你要选最贵的菜
After all, if a waiter tells you to get the most expensive entree
选最贵的酒
and the most expensive bottle of wine,
你会相信他吗?
are you going to trust him?
大概不会吧
Probably not.
如果他推荐便宜一点的酒 并说这其实更好
But if he recommends a cheaper bottle of wine and says that it’s actually better,
你会相信他吗?几乎是肯定的吧
do you trust him then? Almost definitely.
Philip DeFranco就是这么做的
This is what Philip DeFranco does.
他的所作所为有悖于他的经济利益
He acts against his own financial interest
这让我们更加相信他
and it makes us trust him even more.
刚开始时
For starters,
他并不会避开有争议性的话题
he hasn’t stopped covering controversial topics
即使因此YouTube剥夺了他的一些利益
even though YouTube has hammered his ad revenue for it.
在他所有作品中人气第二高的视频里
He also stopped all ads on
他也拒接了所有广告
what would become his second most popular video ever
因为他该视频的主题是虐待儿童问题
because he didn’t want to use this situation to make money
而他不想通过这样的话题赚钱
off of child abuse which was a topic in that video.
在今天的这个视频里 我把所有广告都删掉了
Today’s video, I’ve removed all advertising,
本来今天有一个(广告)赞助
I have rescheduled a sponsor
我也请他改期了
that it was originally scheduled today
因为我不希望今天讲这个故事的时候
and that’s because I don’t want to talk about a story today
让人看起来像是我在利用这个话题
and have it in any way seem like I’m exploiting the situation.
利用儿童的境况
The situation deals with children
我也知道肯定会有人这么说——
and I know that one of the arguments is going to be that
你企图利用我的孩子来获利
— you’re trying to exploit my children.
这个视频必须删去所有广告
I need to pull the advertising for this video
因为这个问题远远要重要得多
because the story is far more important.
好的 我们直入主题吧
So that said, let’s jump into it.
在他开播自己的新闻频道后
And when launching his own news channel,
几大互联网公司邀请他加入 他都拒绝了
Phil turned down offers from major networks
为了继续运营他那集体募资的订阅模型
in favor of a crowdfunded subscription model.
实际上 他本可以赚更多的钱
He may have made more money — in fact,
如果他在大互联网企业工作的话——很有可能
likely would have — with those major networks
但那样 他就会失去保持创新的控制权
but he would have lost creative control.
我想要独立的搞新闻 就是为了确保
I want to do it independently to make sure
没有任何的企业利益可以操纵控制
no corporate interests can manipulate and control
新闻呈现的方式——
how the news is presented —
被迫谈论某些话题
being forced to talk about a topic
或者是被迫不能谈论某些话题
or not being able to talk about a topic
或者是被逼着加快节目的某些进程——
or having to push some sort of agenda —
只要我真的想创造这样的(新闻环境)就会不存在那样的束缚
those strings can’t be there
就会不存在那样的束缚
if I truly want to create this.
我也说过有人邀请我加入
And I say that having been offered to be
更庞大的组织
a part of something much bigger
比我现在做的大得多
than what I’m doing now
来给某些人创造财富
to build someone else’s property
甚至可以和我的愿景并行不悖
or to even go with my vision
只是要受一些控制和束缚
but still be able to be controlled.
所以如果你想要一个可能会有损你利益
So if you want a tip that sounds like it might hurt you
但最终会让你过上更好的生活
but will ultimately give you a better life
并且让别人更相信你的小贴士
and make you more trustworthy,
我的建议就是这样
it’s just that.
请把你的真诚表达放在经济利益之上
Place honest expression over financial gain.
那可能是指
That might mean that
当收银员不小心收少了你的钱时
when the cashier accidentally undercharges you,
你要说出来 并且付全额
you say something and pay the full price
而不是带着你额外的利益走掉
rather than pocketing the extra
或者有个客户 你的产品不是他的最佳之选
or that when you have a client that your product just isn’t the best fit for,
你应该告诉他 而不是什么都不管地卖出去
you tell them rather than selling it at any cost.
对我来说 这意味着
For me, it means that
我们不会在 Charisma大学或者其他推销的课程上
we don’t use any fake countdown timers on
放上虚假的名额倒计时
Charisma University or any of the courses that we sell.
我们不会说
We don’t say,
仅限25名学生
“Limited to 25 people,”
然后卖出30个名额
and then sell 30 spots.
如果有人问上我们的课是不是能追回前任
And when people ask if our courses are going to get their ex back,
我会告诉他们:“老实说
I tell them, “Honestly,
应该不会”
probably not.”
是的 接受这样的心态可能让你短期受到损害
Yes, adopting this mentality might cost you in the short term
但如果你建立起了可信任的口碑
but if you build up a reputation of trustworthiness,
你会发现它的确是有所回报的
you’ll find that it does come back to you
且不说这本来就是正确的事情
plus it’s just the right thing to do.
这也顺便带进了本视频的主要的一点:
And this brings me to the main point of this video
那就是——明确自己的原则并坚守它
which is — knowing your principles and living them.
Phil DeFranco应该是值得人们
Phil DeFranco is going to be
去深思的更强大的力量
an even bigger force to be reckoned with
因为他靠自己的原则活着
because he lives by his principles
对于“享受对话”这样的主题
whereas brands like Pepsi pay lip service
百事这样的品牌只会做嘴上功夫
to the ideas like “Join the conversation,”
[音乐]
[music]
Phil DeFranco则是真正地关心与听众的对话
Phil DeFranco actually cares about having a conversation
所以他每周五都会回复观众的评论
and he responds to comments every single Friday
他甚至会对他几天前报道的事件
even going so far as to change his on mind
改变自己的看法主张
on reporting that he done just a few days earlier —
这就像在真实的对话中
kind of like you might expect someone to do
你期望对方的反应
if they were having a real conversation.
昵称为“ Happiest Meal”的网友说:
…Happiest Meal mentioned,
“让别人只去逛由少数种族
“asking people only to shop at places owned
和女性经营的商店
and operated by minorities and women,
这个我完全不能同意
I don’t agree with that at all.
因为别人的性别或者种族而拒绝光顾他的店铺
Refusing to patronize a business because of their gender or race
这不是性别歧视就是种族歧视 或者两者都是
is either sexist, racist, or both
即使被歧视的是男性或者白种人
even if the gender is male and the race is white.
这真的…是个好观点
That’s a really… that’s a good argument.
这真的是很棒的观点
That’s actually a fantastic point
我自己倒没想到
that I didn’t think of myself.
我一时之间想不到什么
Off the top of my head, I don’t know how to
反驳的观点 因为——
argue against that point because——
如果你支持这个观点
If this is something that you supported,
请评论让我知道
let me know in the comments
为什么刚刚抛出的这个话题
how you think it’s not the
不是一件消极的事
negative thing that was just thrown out there.

Phil also rips different news outlets
没做好足够的调查而指责他们
for not doing the appropriate research.
例如 当PewDiePie被荒谬的指控为
For instance, when PewDiePie was accused
纳粹支持者的时候
ridiculously of being a Nazi sympathizer,
Phil痛斥发出指控的媒体Wired
Phil bashed Wired
因为他们没有考虑到事件的背景是出自菲利克斯的玩笑话
for not taking the context of Felix’s jokes into account.
做好调查吧 我是搞互联网的人——
Do your research. I’m a guy on the Internet —
你应该是一个记者
you’re supposed to be a journalist.
那些尝试掩盖这件事的主流媒体
… so for some of these mainstream outlets that are trying to cover this,
我想告诉你 你在小题大做
I want you to know, you’re overextending,
这样做很傻
you’re looking silly
你只是在让自己
and you are just adding to the conversation
变得更不被信任
of why you should not be trusted.
的确 有些像PewDiePie一样的种族主义组织
Yes, there are racist organizations that do like PewDiePie
但如果你做足够了调查 浏览那些网站
but also, if you go through those sites on your research,
你会发现有很多人不是像他那样的
you’ll find there are a lot of people that do not like him
实际上 更多的人是不像(菲利克斯)那样的
and there are going to be more people that do not like him
因为他甚至还发布了一个类似道歉信的东西
because he even issued somewhat of an apology
像你一样 但是内容更充实
and much like you, but to a different capacity,
他们看到自己想看的东西
they are seeing they want to see
只是出于自我满足的愿望
out of his content.
但他值得称赞的一点是
But to his credit,
他不单只是批判Wired媒体
he didn’t stop at just being critical of Wired.
他实际上还不胜其烦地
He actually goes out of the way
调查 选出一些本来可以
to research salacious claims that
让他的视频更火的过激言论
could make for great videos
但证明他们是错误言论
but turned out to be false
而这最终使
and that winds up
他讲的内容少了些震惊人的外表
giving him less amazing cover stories
但却远远更值得相信
but a much more trustworthy network.
最后我想简单地说
…last thing I want to mention very briefly —
今天早上有一大堆人
I had a ton of people messaging me
就这件事情给我发信息
about this this morning.
人们发信息告诉我来自Daddyofive的麦克·马丁
People are messaging me that Mike Martin of Daddyofive
打算筹钱起诉我
was trying to raise money to sue me
起诉我本周谈论他的视频的
over the videos where I talked about
那一个短片
his videos this week.
GoFundMe网站上有一个链接 说的是
…a link to GoFundMe. It says “
什么…Philip DeFranco的一些错误言论
…Philip DeFranco’s false claims.
他一直在散播关于我们的谣言 让我们家庭处在痛苦之中
He’s been spreading lies about us and putting our family through hell.
我们也考虑把Franco告上法庭
We’re also considering taking Franco to court
因为他给我们招致了太多痛苦
for all the pain and suffering and money
以及金钱损失
he’s causing us to lose.”
在你贸然下定论前 我想说我看到这个的所有
Before you get your pitchforks,everything I’ve seen from this,
都不像是
it does not
真实的信息
seem to be real.
这个网页是什么人创的 在网页上
I mean the page was created and on the page,
网页上显示是麦克·马丁建立的
it says it was created by Mike Martin
但它却没有链接到真实的脸书网页
but it wasn’t linked to a real Facebook page.
我也没有在他们的其他媒体看到这篇文章
I haven’t seen it promoted on any of their social media,
而且它不久之后也被GoFundMe删除了
that GoFundMe was also later deleted…
关于GoFundMe网站和起诉这件事
The main point as far as the GoFundMe
主要的一点是
and the legal stuff,
目前 我没有理由相信它是真的
at this point, I have no reason to believe that it is real
当然 我最不想看到的事情就是有人散播假新闻
and of course the last thing I would want would be people sharing fake news
而激怒别人
and just getting people riled up.
虽然几乎每个人都觉得自己根据原则生活
Just about everybody thinks that they live by principles
但事实是
but in truth,
很少人这么做 因为
very few do because
坚守你的原则
there is a price to be paid
需要付出代价
when you live by your principles.
如果你重视对话
If you value dialogue,
你就必须开放思想 接受它被改变
you need to be open to changing your mind
接收与你可能真的不喜欢的人谈话
by talking with someone that you really might not like.
如果你重视诚信
And if you value honesty,
那么即使在后果很严重的情况下 你也要说出真相
you need to tell the truth even when it sucks.
但是 更多人
Most people, instead,
改变了自己的原则来与欲望相符
adjust their principles to fit their desires.
他们告诉自己在这样那样的情况
They convince themselves that it’s okay to lie
说谎是可以接受的
in such and such a context or that
无论与什么群体的人意见不同
whatever group they disagree with
也真的不应该
doesn’t really deserve
禁止自由言论
to have the free speech protections
就比如在伯克利抗议中 有些人
as was the case in the Berkeley protests where people like
如迈莱和安·库尔特就被
Maile Ohye Innopolis and Ann Coulter were
完全禁止了言论因为他们的暴力行为
effectively barred from speaking due to violence.
Phil对待这个问题是这么说的
Here’s what Phil had to say about that situation.
…我不喜欢安·库尔特说的东西…
…I do not like what Ann Coulter says —
(但)我觉得她仍有权利说话
I think that she should have the right to say it.
无论是对抗你的朋友或者是敌人
Suppression of free speech is not a win
压迫自由言论的人永远不可能是赢家
whether it be against your friend or an enemy.
如果有人说了一些虚假
If someone has a flawed
耸人听闻的言论
or horrible argument,
让他们播出去好了
let them air it out
这样全世界都知道他们有多傻
so the world can know how stupid they are.
我永远不会支持这种行为 那就是
I can never support people that cheer
因为别人出于担心生活遭到威胁
because someone’s not able to say something
而不能说出一些事实 而对此幸灾乐祸的人
because they were literally scared for their lives.
任何对自由言论压迫幸灾乐祸的人
Anyone who cheers on the suppression of free speech
无论是你同意或不同意的言论
whether it be something you agree with or something you don’t,
都不是我的朋友
you are no friend of mine.
再说一遍 重点是有原则地生活
Again, the point is that living in a principled way
要付出代价
has a cost.
我鼓励你现在就
So I encourage you right now
想想你要赖以生存的原则
to think about the principles that you’d like to live by,
想想你想成为的人
the person you’d like to be,
并问自己会付出什么代价
and ask yourself what it is going to cost you
才能让这些原则成真
to make those principles real.
如果你注重诚实
If you value honesty,
有什么难以说出的真相需要开口?
what difficult truths do you need to tell?
如果你注重开放的交流
If you value having an open dialogue,
有哪些你本应该沟通的人 被你拒之千里?
who have you been shutting out you should probably converse with?
如果你重视表达自我
And if you value self-expression,
你性格中的哪些部分
what parts of your personality
为了融入而被你隐藏起来?
have you been hiding in order to fit in?
如果你能够承受坚守原则付出的代价
If you could pay the cost of living by your principles,
你就马上和普通大众
you immediately separate yourself
区别开来了
from the pack
就像Phil DeFranco在新闻界做的一样
just like Phil DeFranco has done in the news world
尽管会很困难
and even though it’s tough
尽管在短期内你要付出代价
and even though it might cost you and likely will cost you
很有可能要付出代价
in the short term,
但你成为的那个坚守原则的人
the principled person that you become
是值得那些代价的
is worth it.
如果你想我评论其他的什么人
So if you have anyone else that you’d like to see me cover
或者你希望我涉及什么话题
or topics that you’d like to see covered,
请直接在下面
please go ahead and write those
写下您的评论
in the comments below.
我会经常查看评论
I always read those and
它们真的对我做视频很有帮助
those really do inform the videos that I do.
如果你喜欢这个短片 想看更多内容
If you like this video and want more like it,
您点击这里订阅节目
click the button here to subscribe.
人格魅力和自信
Charisma and confidence
不能在短短一个短片里
is not something that you’re going to learn
就学会
in one video
所以请订阅 至少养成一个
so subscribe and make it at least a habit
每周都会观看视频的习惯
that you come back to once a week.
如果你感兴趣的话 我还在h3h3网站设立了一个视频节目
If you’re interested, I also set up a video on h3h3
风格很像Phily D的视频 如果你想看的话
who has very similar traits to Phily D. and if you want to see that,
你可以点击这里收看 或点击下面的神秘视频
you can click here to watch that or the mystery video below it.
希望你喜欢这个短片 下期再见
I hope that you like this video and I will see you in the next one.

发表评论

译制信息
视频概述

敢于做对自己有所损害的事,承认自己的偏见,坚守原则

听录译者

收集自网络

翻译译者

陈榆木

审核员

瞌睡虫儿

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sNOTD1dzHNs

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