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《太空旅客》重排

Passengers, Rearranged

对于有抱负的编剧来说这有一个问题
Here’s a question for aspiring screenwriters.
通过适当的小改动让太空旅客这个电影更好是可能的吗
Is it possible to make the movie Passangers better with some relatively minor changes?
我认为这不是一个很坏的电影
You know I don’t think this is a really bad film,
但在听取朋友以及网友的意见后 我觉得它的确有些问题
after hearing reviews from friends and online, I sort of expected it to be.
我认为有这种感觉主要是因为与预期不符
But I think that feeling was mostly disappointed exceptation,
太空旅客不是一个类似火车失事题材的电影
Passengers is by no means a train wreck,
它是非常非常科幻的
it’s just really really predictable.
情节是这样展开的
The plot goes like this.
在星际飞船阿瓦隆发生故障后 克里斯·帕特从休眠中醒来
After the intercellular spaceship Avalon malfunctions, Chris Pratt wakes up from hycracy,
比预计时间提早了90年
90 years before he’s supposed to,
比飞船上所有人都早了90年
90 years before anyone else on the ship.
他无法回到休眠状态 他无法联系地球上的人
He can’t go back to sleep, he can’t contact the earth,
他不能控制飞船
he can’t get to the ship’s control
他尝试做所有这些事但都失败了
He tries to do all of these things and fails.
一年后 他变的越来越悲伤和绝望
As a year passes, he grows increasingly sad and hopeless,
所以最后他决定唤醒另一个乘客詹妮弗·劳伦斯
so eventually he decides to wake up another passenger Jennifer Lawrence,
给了她同样的命运 也就是死亡
condemning her to the same faith, essentially death,
只是为了让他自己不再孤单
in order to give himself some more company.
他装作这是另一场事故并没有告诉她真相
He acts like it’s another malfunction he doesn’t tell her.
过了不久 他们相爱了
After a while they fall in love.
她知道了真相 并非常生气
She finds out the truth, gets really mad.
然后飞船出现了真的故障
And then the ship begins to really malfunction,
因此帕特牺牲了自己去拯救飞船 但最终詹妮弗拯救了他
so Pratt sacrifices himself to save it, but in the end she saves him.
他们再一次相爱了 自此幸福的在飞船上共度余生
They fall in love again and spend the rest of their lives alone on the ship, happily ever after.
噢 对了 劳伦斯·费舍伯恩也出现在这里了
Oh and, Lawrence Fishburne is in it too.
我还有多久的时间?
How long do I got?
大约是在第三幕的第12 13分钟时
About 12 or 13 minutes in act three.
但你们知道这还不错 比获奥斯卡提名的安迪·加西亚好多了
But you know count your blessings,
你们可以把这个故事分解成五个基本转折点
So you can break this plot up into five basic turning points:
一 克里斯醒来
one, Chris wakes up
二 克里斯唤醒詹妮弗
two, Chris wakes Jennifer up,
三 她(詹妮弗)发现真相
up, two, Chris wakes Jennifer up,
四 克里斯牺牲自己
four, Chris sacrifices himself and five, she forgives him.
五 她(詹妮弗)原谅了他(克里斯)
five,she forgives him
电影中最激烈的冲突发生在第二部分至第三部分中
The most acute tension in the film happens between parts 2 and 3
詹妮弗开始爱上克里斯
Jennifer began to fall in love with Chris
但还不知道真相
but doesn’t yet know the truth.
我们知道这里真相具有戏剧性讽刺的效果
We know the truth is coming a little dramatic irony there.
所以我们变的越来越焦虑 直到它终于发生
and so we wait with increasing anxiety until it does,
当它发生了 不出所料 詹妮弗崩溃了 而我们也有点难过
and when it does, predictably, Jennifer freaks out, predictably,and we feel a little sadness, predictably.
这时 电影已经演了一个小时
At this point, exactly an hour into the movie,
剧情似乎已经走进了死角
The script has a sort of brought itself into a corner.
因为帕特是电影真正的主角
Because we spend 30 minutes along with him at the start of the film and see everything through his eyes.
因为我们从电影开场开始已经看着他演了半个小时 并以他的视角理解所有的事情
because we spend 30 minutes alone with him at the start of the film,
解决这个重要关系真的只有两种方式
There’re really only two paths to take regarding the central relationship,
不是他死了 就是她原谅他了
either he dies or she forgives him.
无论哪种方式 他犯下的罪得到了宽恕
In both ways, he finds absolution for the sin he committed.
因为你不可能让他变坏
Cause you’re not gonna be able to turn him bad,
他不会是一个这样的角色 除非你有五季的时间去实现这一点
not a character like this, not unless you have 5 seasons to do it.
当然我知道有些镜头很像闪灵
And yes I know there are some illusions to the shinning here.
但是闪灵根本没那些让我们熟悉主角Jack Torrence的时间
but the shining spent pretty much no time at all endearing us to the character Jack Torrence.
太空旅客用了整整一幕让我们了解活泼可爱的克里斯·帕特
Passengers spends the whole first act endearing us to the lovable scrappy Chris Pratt.
很明显 制作方或电影制作厂想把它变成一个爱情故事
It’s clear that creators or the studio were intent on this being a love story,
所以他们选择一个大团圆结局
so they choose a good ending
但他们可以选择任何一个
But they could have chosen either.
最后四十五分钟会是一样的
The last 45 minutes would have been the same:
第三幕需要改成一个全新的故事
which requires a completely new plot devised in the third act,
(比如)飞船的完全失控使结尾变得更加刺激
the total malfunction of the ship to juice the ending with some adrenaline.
几周前 我在看
You know, a couple of weeks ago I was watching
Chris Stuckman和Doug Walker对太空旅客的共同评审
Chris Stuckman and Doug Walker’s joint review of Passengers,
Walker提到了些有趣的事
and Walker said something interesting:
如果他们用不同的顺序讲这个故事
if they told this in a different order,
会不会比现在这个有趣十倍
wouldn’t it be ten times more interesting?
所以我开始思考如果你把这个电影重新排序
So the thing I began to wonder is what if you rearranged the movie,
詹妮弗·劳伦斯成为电影的主角 而不是克里斯·帕特
so that Jennifer Lawrence was the point of your character? Not Chris Pratt.
如果电影以她的经历展开会是怎样
What if the film began with her experience?
我无法停止思考它 因此我重现编辑了已有的影片片段
Wow I couldn’t stop thinking about it so I re-edited the existing footage
[音乐播放中]
早上好 奥罗拉 你感觉怎么样
Good morning Aurora, how are you feeling?
你刚刚从120年的休眠状态中醒来
You just spent 120 years in suspended animation.
大广场
Grand concourse.
你好
Hello?
有人吗
Anybody?
克里斯:你好劳伦斯:嗨 你是乘客还是职员
Chris: Hello!Larrance:Hi! Are you a passenger or a crew?
乘客
Passenger.
詹姆·帕森特
Jim Preston.
你知道发生什么了吗 我那区没有其他人醒来
Do you know what’s going on? Nobody else from my row woke up,
我也是
Same for me.
当我做了这样的改变 并从这里开始看
When I made this change and just watched from there,
首先 第一幕的基调完全改变了
First of all, the first act changed its tone entirely,
原来的第一幕 你和克里斯·帕森特一起在飞船里闲逛
With the original first act, you are wandering around the ship with Chris Pratt.
你了解到许多很酷的东西 你看着他渐渐接受当前的状况
You’d learn cool things, you see him come to terms with the situation,
开心 绝望
have fun, get depressed,
最后触到了伦理底线 推动了电影的发展
and finally reached the ethical dilemma that’s meant to animate the movie.
你看见的就是你知道的
What you see is what you get here,
有几分被动观看体验的意味
which makes for somewhat passive viewing experience.
这是个有趣的排列 但主要是因为(影片的)场景设计很酷
It’s an amusing sequence but that’s mostly down to cool production design
以及帕特的演技很吸引人
and Pratt’s always charmimg performance.
猜测我将要在飞船上老死
Guess I am gonna die of old age on the ship
但在新的第一幕中
But in the new first act,
故事的开始并不神秘
the story isn’t fused from the start with mystery.
当我做这些改编时 我真的对帕特这个角色的
When I made the editing changes, I was genuinely surprised by
诡异感到惊讶
just how creepy Pratt’s character is
当你不再从他的视角考虑
when you take away his point of view.
我们不知道是否应该相信他 信任他
We don’t know whether to trust him or not, believe him or not
这就使观众们每秒都在了解他新的一面
and that makes the audience’s experience an active one in every moment.
你知道发生什么了吗 我那区没有其他人醒来
Do you know what’s going on? Nobody else from my row woke up.
我也是
Same for me.
当他带着詹妮弗参观飞船 这些地方就成了犯罪现场
As he leads Jennifer around the ship, locations become crime scenes
让参观者不禁想知道发生了什么
where the viewer tries to figure out what’s happening.
顺便一提 这也是安德烈·塔科夫斯基的电影索拉里斯那么好看的原因
This of course, by the way, is what makes
主角进入索拉里斯太空站时发生了许多事
So much happened
所以他和观众只能自己去找答案
that he and the audience have to piece the fragment together themselves.
我的意思是 看他多奇怪
I mean, just look at how creepy he is.
实际上 从这个角度看 我觉得帕特的演技很立体
I actually think that Pratt’s performance takes on more dimensions from this angle.
你不会一直去同情他
You’re not always forced to see him as sympathetic
所以他的黑暗面来的更加鲜明
so his darker side comes out in greater relief.
更重要的是 本片重点刻画的阴暗选择会带来更大的反响
More important than that, the dark choice that sits at the heart of this film hits with greater impact
当第一次从劳伦斯的视角看时
when seen from the first time from Lawrence’s perspective
因为我们和她一样觉得残忍
because we feel the cruelty as she feels it.
是你唤醒我的
Did you wake me up?
我不想的
I tried not to.
所以这里就是原故事戛然而止的地方
So now we’re at the point where the original story hits that dead end,
但在改编过的故事中 你有能更灵活的去选择怎样发展它
but with this new edit, you have some more options to play with.
大致这样布局后 你实际上可以把帕特变成一个坏蛋
Mainly with this configuration you can actually turn Pratt into the villain the original film suggests, but can’t follow through on,
就像原电影暗示的那样 但是没能一直坚持下去
让太空旅客变成许多影评者想看的惊悚片
and make Passengers into the thriller-horror film that so many critics wanted to see.
你甚至可以把整个讲述只有克里斯在飞船上的第一部分插进别处
You can even cut back in that whole first section of Chris’ time alone on the ship but put it after the revelation
但是一定要放在事实被揭露后 以免去评判他的好人属性
without the need to justify his good-guy-ness.
同时你能表现出他的孤独中深深的绝望
You can show a deeper more desperate side to his loneliness,
我认为这会使他最终博取更多的同情心
something that I think actually would make him more sympathetic in the end
以及显现出他的选择有多么艰难
and the choice he makes more agonizing.
[音乐]
[Music]
当然 这种简单的复制粘贴没办法解决剧本上的所有问题
Of course this simple cut and paste doesn’t solve every problem in this script.
比如 结尾仍旧是个问题
The ending, for example, was still an issue.
我猜你会想把发生故障的情节移到别处
I think you’d wanna remove the malfunction MacGuffin
但它很可能只会让故事往恐怖的方向发展
but it might be just as try to close the story in true horror fashion.
如果给它一个像阴阳魔界一样的结尾那一定会很酷
It could be cool to give it a Twilight Zone ending
就像彼得关了特效公司 如果让帕特死掉
as Peter at flash film suggests and have Pratt die
劳伦斯会变得十分孤独 而且会做同样可怕的选择
and Lawrence gets so lonely that she begins to contemplete the same horrible choice.
像这样的头脑风暴真的特别好玩
Brainstorming like this is obvious really fun,
而且比实际创作和拍摄一部电影要简单得多
and much easier than actually writing a movie and making one.
尽管有些缺陷 太空旅客是个大成本电影
For all its fault, Passengers is a big-budget movie
尽管有些缺陷 但太空旅客是一部大成本电影
with a completely original script
而且收获很多赞誉 因为它的题材新颖
and actually be celebrated because it’s a dying bread.
但是像这样的电影对可能成为编剧的人来说是个揣摩故事的好机会
But a film like this is a good opportunity for would-be screenwriters to think about story
因为你从烂电影和好电影中可以学得同样多
because you can learn just as much from films that don’t work as you can from those that do.
[音乐]
大家好 感谢大家的收看
Hey everybody, thank you so much for watching
这个系列是由Dollar Shave Club承办的
This episode was brought to you by Dollar Shave Club.
你可能会注意到我有大胡子
You may notice that I have a beard.
所有有胡子的人会告诉你
Everybody with a beard would tell you that
如果你剃的不干净 很快的 你会变的非常邋遢
if you don’t keep things clean, it can get really scruffy really quickly
所以我使用Dollar Shave俱乐部的剃须刀
so I use Dollar Shave Club razors to make sure
我的脖子和脸颊处变的十分顺滑 它是一个好选择 因为
all of the lines on my beck and cheeks are smooth and even and it is a smart choice cuz
公司会把任何你需要的东西送到你家门口 并且价格适中
they send everything you need right to your door at an affordable price.
你不用去商店
You don’t have to go to the store,
你不用把钱花在不必要的电子产品上
you don’t have to spend money on unnecessary technology,
并且 在有限时间内 仅仅五美元 你就可以得到一个好的剃须刀
and for limited time, you could get the executive razor
和一管Carver博士的剃须膏
with a tube of Dr.Carver’s Shave butter for just 5 dollars.
没有运费 并且在那以后剃须刀也会每月就几美元
No shipping fee, and razors are only a few bucks a month after that.
盒子里都有这些东西
Here’s what you get in the box, you get
你能得到一个坚固的手柄 四片剃须刀
a nice sturdy handle, and you get your four razors
当然了 还有Carver博士的剃须膏
and of course, Dr. Carver Shave butter.
随时带着它
Don’t leave home without it
让你剃的十分容易 无需承诺 无需争辩
Make shaving really easy. No commitments, no hassles,
如果你去dollarshaveclub.com/nerdwriter 网站
and if you go to dollarshaveclub.com/nerdwriter
第一个月你可以花五美元就得到它
you can get that first month for 5 dollars.
链接在简介的上方 dollarshaveclub.com/nerdwriter
The link’s at the top of the scription, that’s dolloarshaveclub.com/nerdwriter
谢谢大家 下周见
Thanks guys, I’ll see you next week!

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译制信息
视频概述

将现有的片段重新排序 你会看到一个新的太空旅客

听录译者

收集自网络

翻译译者

❄️郝

审核员

审核团1024

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gksxu-yeWcU

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