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父母和焦虑

PARENTS AND ANXIETY

来吧!心理学
Psych2go
焦虑 这个问题越来越多地
Anxiety is an issue that is being brought to light
被主流媒体提及
more and more frequently in Mainstream Media
这真的帮助了很多焦虑者
Which can really help those that suffer from this issue
人们经常认为焦虑是每个人都经历过的
People often see anxiety as just something that everyone experiences
但是 认识到偶尔的精神紧张
But it’s important to recognize that there’s a difference
与焦虑症患者饱受折磨的
between the occasional bout of nerves
精神衰弱症状有区别很重要
and the debilitating symptoms of those that suffer from anxiety
焦虑症是真正的心理疾病
as an actual mental illness
Graham Cl Davie是一名实验心理学家
Graham Cl Davie is an experimental psychopathology
他在实验室研究心理疾病
He researches mental health in labs and
特别是基于对照实验
in particular tries to get a better understanding
研究造成焦虑症的原因
of the causes of anxiety based problems through controlled experimentation
Davie已经对直升机父母的现象
Devi has spoken a lot about the phenomenon
发表过很多看法
of helicopter parents
正如Devie所说 家长们想要给孩子最好的
as Devi explains It’s only natural for parents
特别是健康与教育方面
to want to do the best for their kids
是最正常不过的了
particularly in terms of health and education
但是直升机父母可能会表现的过分
but helicopter parents probably overdo this
Devie进一步阐释说
Devi Elaborates further saying in life
生活中每个人都会在某时面临威胁和困难
Everyone will be faced by threats and challenges at some point and
当它们来临时都需要知道怎么样处理
will need to know how to deal with these when they arise
那些父母帮着处理困难
Kids whose parents shield them from every kind of challenge
甚至帮着处理学习困难的孩子
even challenges they face in education
就有患焦虑症的危险
Run the risk of growing up anxious largely
主要是因为他们父母的保护行为
because their parents protective behavior
已经阻止了他们实践合理的应对反应
has prevented them from practicing suitable coping responses
也使他们以为
and has conveyed to them that maybe there is something frightening
父母不让他们处理的困难很可怕
about those things their parents have been shielding them from
除了直升机父母 还有扫雪机父母
Along with helicopter parents you have snowplow parents
据Devie观察 扫雪机父母可能是最差的
Snowplow parents are probably the worst observed Devi
他们清除孩子
by removing everything in life
生活中所有可能的障碍
that might be a potential obstacle to their child
从不允许孩子学习如何处理
they never allow their children to learn how to cope with
他们生活中的困难
their own obstacles in Life
当讨论到是什么让直升机父母过度保护孩子时
I Suspect many helicopter parents are themselves anxious people
Devie说:“我认为很多直升机父母本身就焦虑
who are genuinely attempting to do the best for their kids
他们真的想要给孩子最好的
Says Devi when discussing what makes helicopter parents so protective?
但结果是他们不允许孩子发现世界
But as a result they’re not allowing their offspring to find out
并应对世界”
about the world and how to cope with it
Devie指出孩子并不是一出生就带着手册
Devi points out that kids don’t come with manuals
每个父母都有自己养育孩子的方式
Every parent has a different way of raising kids
但是无数次证明了
But it’s been proven time and again that
过度保护是负面的
overprotection is a downside and
这阻止了孩子在未来生活中形成应对问题的能力
doesn’t allow children to develop coping mechanisms later in life
Devie很快指出父母可以带来的最大的影响
Devie is quick to point out what a major influence a parent can have
是孩子的心理健康方面
on the mental health of their children
Devie解释说父母对孩子们认为的
Parents can be quite subjective about what issues they consider important
重要事情有很强的主观性
in their children’s lives explains Davey
但是可能比这更重要的是他们处理这些事的方式
But arguably more important than this is the way these issues are dealt with
比如消极养育是特别麻烦的
Negative parenting for example is particularly problematic
也是后代的心理疾病的普遍诱因
and a common source of mental health problems in offspring
消极养育包括纪律策略
Negative parenting includes disciplining strategies such
比如威胁孩子 “别哭了 再哭我就揍你”
as threatening a child you stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about
或者只关心孩子的错处
Or attending to the child only when they’re doing something wrong
研究发现大约30%的焦虑
Studies have shown that about 30 %
可以在遗传中找到踪迹
of our anxiety can be traced to our own genetics
但是剩下的70%是被经历和抚养方式所影响的
But the other 70% is influenced by experience and upbringing
甚至10个月大的孩子也可以
Even 10 month old babies can pick up
辨识出父母的消极行为
on negative behaviors from a parent and avoid
并且避免做父母已表现过消极反应的行为
things that their parents have behaved negatively towards
Devie解释说
Davey explains
这可能伴随着孩子的童年时期
this probably stays with kids through their childhood
并会对父母给出的相反解释无动于衷
and is likely to override any contrary explanations given by the parent
替代学习是孩子童年时期
Vicarious learning is a significant way
发展焦虑的重要方式
in which children pick up anxieties throughout childhood
很多非人类灵长类动物也是
many non-Human animals also learn their fears by
通过观察同类表现害怕才学到害怕的
watching other conspecifics behaving Fearfully,
所以这是大自然中的普遍机制
so it’s quite a common mechanism in Nature
父母将需要一个非常有说服力的观点
A Parent will need a very convincing argument to dissuade
去劝阻孩子不要因看到别人表现害怕
an offspring not to be fearful of something they
而自己也害怕
‘ve seen someone else behaving Fearfully of too
Graham清楚地表明父母对
Graham clearly shows how parents have a massive impact
孩子在世界上的经历有巨大的影响
on what experiences children will take from the world around them
如果你让孩子相信某事是可怕的
if You convince a child that something should be feared even
即使你并不是有意为之
if you don’t intend to
那么他们也会更可能害怕
Then they will be more likely to fear it as well
最好允许孩子以自己的方式处事
It is good to allow a child to experience things
而不要帮他们清除掉他们可能面对的危险
in their own way instead of removing all risks that they may face
尽管想要保护孩子是可以理解的
Although it is understandable to want to protect your child
抚养孩子很难
Parenting is a difficult thing,
但是只要你在孩子身边并
but as long as you’re there for your child and ready
当孩子需要时给他提供帮助
to help when needed
你就已经做的很好了
you’ll be just fine
一定要去Psychology Today博客上
Be sure to check out Davey’s article
看看Davie的文章
on his pSychology today blog
《直升机父母 扫雪机父母 气泡膜父母》 了解更多话题内容
helicopter snowplow and bubble wrap parenting to learn more about this topic and be
另外大家留意他的新书
on the lookout for his new book the
《焦虑症的流行》将会在2018年
anxiety Epidemic due to be published
由利特尔&布朗出版社出版
by Little Brown books in 2018
你对焦虑与抚养的想法是什么
What are your thoughts about anxiety and parenting
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be sure to comment below and as always?
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多谢观看
Thanks for watching

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视频概述

焦虑与父母的抚养方式有很大的关系 那么到底父母是怎么影响我们的呢?

听录译者

收集自网络

翻译译者

波妞妞

审核员

审核员 DL

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IKCA0uspme0

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