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On Still Being a Virgin

20世纪60年代性革命开始时
When the sexual revolution began in the 1960s,
人们对未来的标准理解是这样的:
there was a standard understanding of what should happen:
“性革命”意味着他们能自由地
‘sexual liberation’ would mean that people would be freed to
用自己喜欢的方式做更多爱
have more of the sort of sex they really liked,
也就是说 性伴侣增多 而尴尬减少
that is, with more partners and with less embarrassment.
而有一点被忽略了 那就是随着性革命的进展
But what was overlooked is that this kind of sexual liberation might, along the way,
它本身也会带来限制 禁忌和种种禁锢 可以这么说
create its own restrictions, taboos and, so to speak, varieties of imprisonment.
性革命的目标人群不是那些想要更多性生活的人
The people targeted would not be those who wanted to have more sex
而是那些——出于种种原因——
but those who – for a variety of reasons –
要么不想 要么不能 拥有今天被强烈视为
either didn’t want to, or weren’t able to, have the amount of sex
在所谓“正常范围”内的性生活次数的人
now strongly deemed so-called ‘normal’.
虽然推动性革命的是将我们从道德审判中解放出来的渴望
Sexual liberation, while driven by a desire to free us of moralistic judgement,
但它结果却不知不觉地为我们套上了一件新的紧身衣
ended up – quite unwittingly – putting us in a new kind of straightjacket,
性革命不像从前的卫道士一样大声疾呼不要性生活
insisting not that we have no sex, as moralists of old had thundered,
而是强调完全不要为想要自由而丰富的性生活感到难堪
but that we feel wholly at ease around the prospect of making love frequently and diversely.
如今 承认自己没有性生活
It now became as shameful to admit that one wasn’t having sex
就和从前承认自己有婚外情一样难堪
as it had once been shameful to say, outside of marriage, that one was.
耻辱和羞愧依旧存在 只是换了靶子
Stigma continued, shame too, they just changed their targets.
在这个背负了新耻辱的人群中心
At the heart of this newly stigmatised group,
是一个受到特殊嘲讽和侮辱的形象:
there was a figure of particular mockery and opprobrium:
老处女(男) 也就是无论有心还是无意 到了20岁
the belated virgin, someone who has by accident or design reached their 20s
还没有和任何人上过床的人
and still not yet been to bed with anyone.
这种羞愧与数据无关
This shame has nothing to do with statistics.
调研估计20-25岁的人群中 有15%的人还是处
Surveys estimate that as many as 15% of the population between 20 and 25 remain virgins.
重点不在有多少人是处——显然有很多——
The point isn’t how many virgins there are – there are clearly many –
而在于他们有多被迫感到不幸和无能
but rather the extent to which they have been made to feel wretched and inadequate.
真正的性革命 与我们所有人都息息相关的性革命
The goal of true sexual liberation, the sort we should all be interested in,
目标不在于换一种耻辱
is not to shift stigma around,
而在于消灭所有耻辱 只要双方是自愿的
it is to remove all stigma around all consensual sexual choices.
真正的性解放不是仅仅让我们能自由地
True liberation means liberating us not just to
和不同的性伴侣紧紧拥抱在一起做很多爱
have sex a lot, with different partners, in ecstatic clinches,
更要让人们变得开放得既接受不做爱也接受很晚才开始做爱
but also to not have sex or to have sex quite late on or,
就刚刚说的那点而言还接受蹩脚 笨拙 或粗笨的做爱
for that matter, to have bad or inept or clumsy sex –
并且从不为此感到悲哀
and never to feel bad on this account.
真正的性解放应该不仅包容强烈性爱 密宗性爱 和多重高潮性爱
True sexual liberation should liberate us not just to be athletic and tantric and polyecstatic
还包容奇怪的性爱 格格不入的性爱 扭捏却有趣的性爱 略带尴尬却聪明的性爱
– but also to be weird, reclusive, interestingly shy, intelligently embarrassed
多古怪都可以
and about as peculiar as we want to be –
而且我们仍然有权利尊重自己 喜欢自己
and still retain the right to honour and like ourselves.
我们的目标应该是建立一个
What we should aim for is to build a society
人们不再为自己的性欲如此遭罪的社会
where we finally stop suffering so intensely around our sexuality,
即使那性欲意味着不想做爱 或者技术还未成熟
even if that sexuality means we don’t want to, or haven’t yet managed to, have sex.
只有这样 才意味着真正的性解放
That, and only that, will mean true liberation.
你知道吗 《生命学院》有线下实体学院
Did you know that The School Of LIfe is actually a place?
实际上有10个
10 places in fact;
从墨尔本到伦敦 从台北到伊斯坦布尔 世界各地都有
campus’ all over the world from Melbourne to London, Taipei to Istanbul.
有课程 有书 还有很多很多……
With classes and books and much more…

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视频概述

性革命带来的性开放让性欲不再难以启齿,却让不要性生活变得难以启齿,这是怎么了

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收集自网络

翻译译者

Philovist

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审核团审核员XD

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e-WCz951EBc

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