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无性婚姻:自慰、孤独、出轨和羞耻

No Sex Marriage – Masturbation, Loneliness, Cheating and Shame | Maureen McGrath | TEDxStanleyPark

有人说 如果你不想再有性生活
It’s been said if you never want to have sex again,
那就结婚吧
get married.
[笑声]
(Laughter)
如今 性是婚姻中最有争议的问题
Sex is one of the most contentiousissues in marriage today,
仅次于财产
second only to finances.
很多已婚夫妇连续几个月 甚至几年没有性生活
There are many married couples that have not had sex for months, even years,
没关系 只要他们相安无事就好
and that’s OK as long as they are OK
他们过着无性而快乐的婚姻
with it and happily married.
但是当一方想要性生活而另一方不想时
The problem arises when one personin the relationship wants sex,
问题就出现了
and the other doesn’t.
根据全国性报刊的一项调查显示
According to a national newspaper survey of
在大概一万个男性调查对象中-大部分是已婚男性
approximately 10,000 respondents- mostly married men
75%的人对自己的婚姻关系感到满意
– 75% were satisfied in their relationship,
但是超过50%的人对自己的性生活不满意
but more than 50% were dissatisfied with their sex lives.
我们做爱 不要误解
We are having sex- don’t get me wrong
我们是在错误的时间
– we are just having sex at the wrong time,
和错误的人做爱
and with the wrong people;
这个我稍后解释
I’ll get to that later.
[笑声]
(Laughter)
因为我们婚前的性生活
We are having sex before we get married,
平均值长达十年
ten years on average,
这种性生活的影响在长期关系中效果显著
so we are effectively in a long-term relationship
可能导致我们在结婚之前就对性生活产生厌倦
and potentially, quite sexually bored before we even mess up the marital bed.
这就是后果
And that has its consequences.
如今 大多数新娘在婚姻当晚没有性爱
Most brides today do not have sexon their wedding nights,
一半男性不会结婚
and 50% of men would nothave married their spouse
因为他们认为婚后会有性冷淡
had they known their marriagewas going to be sexless.
而大家都想知道的是
So, everybody wants to know
已婚人士有多少性爱
just how much sex are married people having
不管是异性恋还是同性恋
whether they are in heterosexualrelationships or same-sex unions.
你们大家都想一窥邻居的生活
You all want to know what’s going on at the Joneses;
好吧 没有很多人想这样
well, not much.
[笑声]
(Laughter)
仅有7%的已婚夫妇维持着干柴烈火的状态
Only about 7% of married couplesset the sheets ablaze.
对大多数已婚十年的夫妇来说
Most married couples have sex
他们的性爱频率 一周不到一次
a little bit more than once a week for the first decade of their marriage.
并且有随时间流逝递减的趋势
It decreases after that.
所以他们一年的性生活是58次
So they have sex about 58 times a year.
20%的无性婚姻真的是名副其实
And 20% of marriages meet the criteria as a sexless marriage,
因为据专家明确表示
and that, defined by the experts,
这些人的性爱生活一年不到10次
is sex less than ten times a year.
那么为什么我们婚后就不能做爱了呢?
So why aren’t we having sexin our marriages?
大脑中会分泌一种鲜为人知的化学物质
There’s a little-known chemical in the brain
简称为PEA或P
conveniently called PEA or P,
当你遇到让你有性冲动的人时
and it’s responsible for the elation,the excitement, and the euphoria
它负责让你产生欢喜 兴奋 愉快的感觉
that you feel when you meet somebody that you are sexually interested in.
这是一种梦幻的感觉
It’s a fantastic feeling.
这种化学物质在你的血管里流动
This chemical is gorging through your blood vessels.
它的能力在于会让你非常快乐
You are so happy; that’s how powerful this little chemical is.
但两年后会发生什么呢
But what happens after two years
随着性爱频率的增加这种化学物质会减少分泌
is that chemical diminishes as does sexual frequency.
而这时候你可能结婚了
That’s just about the time you might
你可能陷入了恋爱的冲突阶段
get married or may have conflict in your relationship,
这就是为什么沟通是愉悦的性爱的关键
and that is why communicationis key to great sex.
我们婚后不再做爱的另一个原因
There is another reason we are not having sex in our relationship,
就不得不归于我们受到的性教育了
and that has to do with the sex education that we provide.
我很喜欢讲一个我自己的故事
I’d like to share a story about myself.
我十几岁的时候
When I was a teenager,
我妈妈冲到我房间 她说
my mother came racing into my bedroom, and she said,
“莫林 请告诉我你没被男生法式热吻过”
“Maureen, please, tell me you have not allowed a boy to French-kiss you.”
因为当时她懊悔于对我的性教育太迟了
She was feeling terrible that the sex education came a bit late.
我也觉得作为一个爱尔兰天主教女孩 我犯了严重的罪
And I was feeling horrifically guilty,as an Irish Catholic girl,
因为那时候我已被好几个男生法式热吻过
that I’d French-kissed a number of boys by that stage.
我们教导女孩和女性
We teach girls and women
性很脏 性很坏
that sex is dirty, and sex is bad,
我们对性过于贬低
or it’s over rated.
我们说“做爱你就会得传染病”
We say, “You’re just going to geta sexual-transmitted infection anyway,”
或者“你会怀孕的!”
or, “You may get pregnant!”
这些恐惧铺垫阻止了女性享受性爱
This whole fear-base thing frightens women from enjoying sex,
我们从不对女孩和女性谈论快感和性高潮
and we never talk about pleasure or orgasm with girls and women.
实际上还有女性说“性高潮不重要”
And in fact, some women say, “Orgasm’s not important,”
旅行过程中的快乐与到达目的地是一样的
and that the journey is just as goodas the destination.
不过我不同意这一观点
I disagree.
[笑声]
(Laughter)
我当然不同意啦
Of course.
我可是被好多男生法式热吻过的
I am the one who French-kissed all the boys,
以爱尔兰天主教女孩的身份哦
as an Irish Catholic girl.
[笑声]
(Laughter)
[掌声]
(Applause)
这就像和爱人踏上一辆列车
It’s like getting on a train with your lover,
你们要去地球上最快乐的地方
and you are going to the most pleasurable place on the planet.
你兴奋极了
You are so excited.
你醉意正浓 湿滑无比
You are getting lubed up with all the free drinks they are giving you.
太不可思议了
This is amazing!
就在你快抵达愉悦巅峰的时候
And just before you reach your destination,
他先你一步 把你丢下了
he gets off, and you don’t.
[笑声]
(Laughter)
你们懂我的意思
You get my point.
[笑声]
(Laughter)
[掌声]
(Applause)
而我们对男孩和男性的性教育
The sex education we have for boys and men:
则是完全不同的
that’s entirely different.
它是个全球项目 是免费的 人人都可以享受
It’s a global program, it’s free, it’s accessible to everybody,
由网络色情文学被大家熟知
and it’s known as internet pornography.
好极了
Fantastic!
网络色情文学不教男孩和男性如何处理亲密关系
And it does nothing to teachmen and boys about intimacy
而这一点对他们来说恰恰是真正重要的
which is really important to men and boys,
也不教人如何做爱
or how to make love to anybody.
而且对同性恋 双性恋 变性者来说
Also, we have a paucity of informationabout sexual health
缺少关于性健康的相关信息
for LGBTQI community,
所以我们在这方面需要完善
and we need to add to that.
在财产 孩子 房子 疾病的影响下
Marriage can rapidly go from a holy matrimony to holy hell
婚姻可能会从神圣的殿堂跌至黑暗的地狱
with the finances, the kids, the houses, the illness.
我的意思是 你承诺无论疾病与健康都对他不离不弃
I mean, you may have signed upfor sickness and health,
但那时候你可不知道他会性冷淡啊
but that was long before you’d ever witnessed a man cold.
[笑声]
(Laughter)
还有…
And…
[笑声]
(Laughter)
那么你怎么看性爱的富足和贫瘠呢?
And how about that richer or poorer thing?
女士们 我们从富足谈起吧
Ladies, we are going to have to start going for richer.
如今的大多数女性忙里忙外
Most women today are workinginside and outside of the home.
我们女性做着大部分的家务活
We are doing the lion’s shareof the housework
因为根据调查显示
because according to research,
男性觉得自己不擅长做家务
men don’t feel they are that good at it.
女性负责和成长的孩子和年迈的双亲打交道
And we are bridging the gap between growing children and aging parents.
为此筋疲力竭 所以没时间做爱
We are exhausted doing it alland never doing it.
即使有时间做爱 我们也要腾个手玩手机
And when we are doing it, we are checking our smartphones.
10%的人做爱时会检查手机
10% of people check their smartphones during sex
[笑声]
(Laughter)
35%的人事后立刻刷手机
35% immediately afterward.
我们可是新时代的网络达人啊
We are connected to the Internet.
[笑声]
(Laughter)
[欢呼 掌声]
(Cheers) (Applause)
我们对网络上瘾 却和爱人不来电
We are connected to the Internet and disconnected from our would-be lovers.
或许这就是为什么已婚夫妇常用狗啪式的原因
Maybe this is the reason that the most common sex position for married couples is doggy style.
不不不
No, no, no!
不是你们想的那样
It’s not what you’re thinking.
思想纯洁点
Get your minds out of the gutter.
我是说他四肢着地 下跪请求
This is the one where he is on all fours and begs,
她玩游戏玩到昏天黑地
and she plays dead.
[笑声]
(Laughter)
我做了一个临床实验
I have a clinical practice where
我约谈那些有性功能障碍的病人
I see patients that have sexual dysfunction,
我会问他们两个问题
and there are two questionsthat I ask everybody.
一:你在性爱上是否主动?
The first one is, “Are you sexually active?”
结果你可想而知
It’s obvious.
当我问女性这个问题时 她们从不正面回答
When I ask women, they never say yes or no
她们从不说自己主动
– well, they never say yes –
也不说自己不主动
but they never say yes or no.
她们说“有时”
They say, “Sometimes,”
“有点”“我不确定”“他主动吧”
“Sort of,” “I am not sure,” “He is”
[笑声]
(Laughter)
或者她们会说“我已经结婚了”
or they say, “I am married.”
我说“那我理解为你不主动”
I say, “Well, that means no to me.”
然后她们会说“对 是的 我肯定不主动啦”
They say, “Yes, sure. Right. it is no.”
大多数男性患者则抱怨他们的老婆从不主动要做爱
Most men complain that women never initiate sex.
为什么呢 再一次“感谢”
The reason for this is because, once again,
我们提供给女性的性教育
the sex education we provide to women.
女性错误地认为 女人的性趣和欲望先于性行为
Women falsely believe that female sexual interest, desire, precedes sexual activity,
实际情况是性行为催生了性趣和欲望
when in actuality, it is sexual activity that prompts sexual interest and desire.
性行为是性觉醒的原因
Sexual arousal emerges as a result of sexual activity.
而男人对性行为则是迫切的
So, you guys, I know, intimacy is important to you.
这反映了一个重要的问题
The most important questionthat reflects this,
这个问题是你们问我的 即
that I receive from you, is,
“什么程度的手淫算是过度手淫?”
”How much masturbation is too much masturbation?”
[笑声]
(Laughter)
那么我会回答
So, I just say,
“呃 只要你还能站起来工作
”Well, as long as you can go to work
[笑声]
(Laughter)
就没问题的”
you should be fine.”
然后我意识到一个问题
And then I realize
那可能是你的工作
that that’s perhaps all that what you are doing at work.
[笑声]
(Laughter)
我认为性行为是重要的
So, I know intimacy is important.
你想回家
You want to come home,
你想和妻子做爱
and you want to make love to your wife
你想陷入异性热恋
if you are in a heterosexual relationship.
不过一整天辛苦劳累后
So after a long and quite possibly very hard day,
你回家后面临的也可能是鸡飞狗跳
you come home to a bit of chaos, perhaps,
你很想做爱缓解一下疲劳 但你妻子说
but you’ve just got sex on the mind,and she says,
“让你买的牛奶呢?”
“Did you remember the milk?”
你意识到 “妈呀 牛奶 我忘得一干二净”
And you are like, “Darn! The milk! I forgot the milk!”
不要为了牛奶恨不得打自己一巴掌
Don’t beat yourselves up about it;
因为假如没有牛奶
if not for the milk,
还会有Facebook 荷尔蒙其他阻碍
we have Facebook, hormones,
她会说“我今晚太累了”
“I am feeling a little tired tonight,”
“我肚子大了 感觉又长肉了
“My stomach is sticking out, I am feeling kind of fat,
今晚没心情”
can’t do it tonight,”
“上个月不是才做过吗?”
“Didn’t we have sex last month?”
你就会一脸懵逼“上次都是去年的事儿了”
And you are like, “That was actually last year!”
[笑声]
(Laughter)
你们不懂女人 我说的就是字面意思 你们不懂
You don’t get it. I mean, literally, you don’t get it.
你们会说“妻子太棒了
But you’re like, ”She is amazing,
每天忙里忙外的”
she works in and outside of the home,”
“她要工作 还要带孩子 却毫无怨言”
“She does a great job with the kids,” “She volunteers,”
她甚至还要抽时间参加闺蜜们的通宵聚会
She even has time for girls’ nights out.
然后一次闺蜜通宵聚会后 我送一个女性朋友回家
So, I brought a friend home after one such girls’ night out.
当时我们开车到她家楼下
As we approached her house, drove up,
她抬头瞅了眼自己家卧室的窗户
she looked up to her bedroom window,
发现灯还亮着 就说:呃
she saw that the lights were on,and she said, “Argh!
唐尼还在等我 帮我个忙
Donny is waiting up for me. Do me a favor.
在附近街区多转几圈吧
Drive around the block a few times
[笑声]
(Laughter)
等灯灭了再把我送回来”
until the light goes out.”
我说:听好 你现在就回去 和你丈夫做爱
I said, “Listen! You get in thereand make love to your husband,
不然别人就捷足先登了
before somebody else does.”
我之所以这么说
Because that is one thing that
是因为在得知自己的丈夫也是香饽饽后
will increase a woman’s sexual desire
会增加女性的性欲
when someone else wants her man.
他说我还是没说服她
Still unconvinced, she said,
我决定来给她夸赞一下性爱给女人带来的
“I decided to extol the health and beauty benefits
健康和美丽价值
that sex has for a woman:
比如年轻的光芒 更好的睡眠 无褶皱的皮肤
a youthful glow, better sleep, wrinkle-free skin.
她却说 “继续开”
Keep driving,” she said.
[笑声]
(Laughter)
有一个设备可以增加任何人的性欲
There is a device that will increaseanybody’s sexual desire,
就是奔驰敞篷车
and that happens to be the Mercedes-Benz 4matic convertible SL
[笑声]
(Laughter)
它踏着64色祥云而来
and it comes in 64 colors.
但如果汽车也没效果的话
But if that doesn’t do it,
想要小孩的欲望也会增加女性的性欲
the desire to have a baby will rev up any woman’s sex drive.
问题是在夫妻间的性爱上
The problem is having that babyis likely to kill it
带孩子往往会削减女性的性欲
along with any marital eroticisma couple may have had
因为许多人觉得
because a lot of people believe
母亲身份和性爱是不协调的
motherhood and being sexualis incongruous.
约翰在Linkedln上关注了我两年
John followed me on Linkedln for two years
最后他终于鼓起勇气
before he mustered up the courage
为他的无性婚姻而约见我
to make an appointment about his sexless marriage.
他结婚七年了
He’d been married for seven years,
而他们夫妇之间从来没有达到灵肉合一这一步
and they had never consummated the relationship.
而双亲想抱孙子
Their parents were pressuring themto have children
一直在给他们施压
because they wanted grandchildren.
当这对夫妻来到我的临床实践诊所时
When they came into my clinical practice,
然后我问了他们我一般会问病人的
the second question that I ask everybody
第二个问题
that enters my clinical practice,
这个问题不那么正面
most unfortunately, is,
“幼年时你是否遭遇过性虐或者强迫性质的性冒犯?”
“Have you ever experienced sexual abuse or unwanted sexual advances as a child?”
然后约翰先生才知道
This was the first time this gentleman had learned
自己妻子6岁时遭遇过性虐待
that his wife had experiencedsexual abuse, as a six-year-old,
施虐者是她好友的父亲
at the hands of her best friend’s father.
自此她认为性是脏污的 对性产生了厌恶
She thought sex was dirty, she hated sex.
在终止针对儿童的性暴力上
We need a worldwide moratorium
不管男孩还是女孩
on ending sexual violence on our children,
全世界的人都需要制止这种行为
boys and girls, because it happens to both.
[掌声]
(Applause)
从性虐的阴影中走出来甚至需要花费一生的时间
Healing from sexual abuse takes a lifetime.
艾拉就是个在性上长期奋战的勇士
Ella had lived a lifetime.
她是个寡妇 她说自己并不性主动
A widow, she said she wasn’t sexually active,
但她却希望自己能主动
but she hoped to be.
我想:太好了 终于有个不再对性避之如蛇蝎的人了
I thought, “Fantastic! Somebody is going to have sex here!”
但艾拉说:“莫林
But she said, “The problem, Maureen,
问题是那些老年男性不能勃起怎么办”
is that these old guys can’t get it up anymore.”
我说:“艾拉 你可以找个年轻点的男性嘛”
I said, ”Well, Ella, you might have to go for a younger guy.”
她说“我都84了还怎么找啊”
She said, “What’s youngerwhen you are 84?”
[笑声]
(Laughter)
“找个70岁的?”
“70?”
[笑声]
(Laughter)
“你完了”你们会这样说
“Yes,” some of you are saying.
因为残酷的真相是
The hard truth is
三四十岁的男性可能就有勃起功能障碍了
that men in their 30s and 40smay experience erectile dysfunction.
看来艾拉要实现愿望任重而道远啊
Ella is going to have to gofor a millennial.
[笑声]
(Laughter)
那么你可能会想“多大点事?
So you are all probably thinking, “What’s the big deal?
我为什么要治疗我的勃起功能障碍?”
Why treat my erectile dysfunction?”
我把阴茎比作飞机
Well, I liken the penis to a plane.
如果在整个旅途中
If the pilot can’t get the plane up in the air
飞行员不能使飞机起飞并翱翔天际
and keep the plane in the air for the entire trip,
可能就是引擎出问题了
it’s probably a problem with the engine.
所以如果你不举
So if you can’t get your penis up
你在整场性事中不能长久
and keep it up for the entire sexual experience,
很可能就是你的引擎出问题了
there’s likely a problem with your engine.
对 就是心脏问题
Well, that’s your heart.
勃起功能障碍使煤矿中的金子
Erectile dysfunction is the canary in the coal mine,
可能预示着你有心血管疾病
and it may signify cardiovascular disease.
或者是糖尿病
It may also indicate diabetes.
而除了这两种病症
So, these two medical conditions,
低睾酮症 压力大 不当性行为 性虐
in addition to low testosterone,stress, substance use and abuse,
过度摄入酒精 未了矛盾 财产问题
excessive alcohol consumption,unresolved conflict, financial issues,
这些都可能是你性欲低下的原因
all of those may contributeto low sexual desire,
最终会导致你无性婚姻
and you may end up in a sexless marriage.
然后来诊疗的下一位是乔治
George presented to my clinical practice:
他40岁 想安定下来
at age 40, he decided to settle down.
几个月前他娶了一个美丽有修养的妻子
He was marrying a beautifuland accomplished woman in a few months.
问题只有一个:乔治是同性恋
There’s only one problem: George was gay!
[笑声]
(Laughter)
乔治不敢告诉家人
George could not bear to tell his family
自己是同性恋
that he was gay,
因为他觉得这会让家族蒙羞
because he felt it would haveshamed the entire family.
我说“乔治
I said, ”George,
你这样下场注定是无性婚姻啊”
you are going to end up in a sexless marriage!”
他说“你说点我不知道的”
He said, “Tell me something I don’t know!”
然后乔治告诉我他的计划
So, George said to me his plan was this,
“哦 等到我父母去世后
“Well, when my parents die,
我就把婚离了
I’m then going to divorce this woman,
然后与我爱的他厮守终身”
and I’m going to marry the man that I love.”
我说“乔治 你果然不是直男思维”
I said, “George, you are not thinking straight!”
[笑声]
(Laughter)
性是婚姻感情状态的晴雨表
Sex is the barometer of the state of affairs in a marriage.
无性婚姻人士会感觉到沮丧 不被爱 无欲望
People who live in sexless marriagesreport feeling frustrated, unloved, undesirable,
没有魅力 最糟的是 会感到孤独
unattractive, and the worst of all, lonely.
孤独会增加血管阻力
And loneliness has been shownto increase vascular resistance,
使血压上升 诱发早死
elevate blood pressure, and lead to an early death.
你更可能死于孤独
You are more likely to die from loneliness
而非肥胖和过度摄入酒精
than you are from obesity or excessive alcohol consumption.
当我教育女性时我会说
When I educate women, and I say,
“如果你不和丈夫有性生活 就会有第三者插足”
“If you are not having sex with your husband, someone else may,”
然后她们就很苦恼
they get upset,
她们怪我把男人的错误行为归责于女性
and they say that I am blaming women for men’s bad behavior,
而实际上 我说的是大实话啊
when in actuality, I am doing a community service.
你们发现了么 一般来说 无性婚姻中男性撒谎是为了维持婚姻
You see? Men in sexless marriages cheat to remain in that marriage, in general.
而女性撒谎是为了逃离这段无性婚姻
And women cheat to leave a sexless marriage.
女性也是会撒谎的 你们可能想不到
And women cheat, too. Nobody ever thinks we do.
只不过我们做得很隐蔽 不会被抓到
We are just sneakier about it, we just don’t get caught.
[笑声]
(Laughter)
男女的社交方式是截然不同的
Or socialize very differently.
在撒谎上面我们女性远远优于男性
This is one thing we have on you, guys.
[笑声]
(Laughter)
女性对男人撒谎 对其他女性撒谎
Women cheat with other men, and women cheat with other women.
科技使每个人都有机会成为骗子
And technology has made cheatingaccessible for everybody:
从政客到大门不出二门不迈的父母
from the politician to the stay-at-home parent.
轻点鼠标就能成就一段热情的在线风流韵事
That quick swipe right can lead to an online passionate love affair;
从短信到色情短信 再到私密电话
from texting to sexting, to secret phone conversations.
两人的网络交流越多
The more two people communicate online,
就越可能邂逅一段艳遇
the more likely an in-person encounter will occur.
但你有一个永久谴责对象——基因
But you can always blame your genes.
“爱情骗子基因”是欺骗者独一无二的法宝
The gene DRD4 has been isolated in cheaters.
而无性婚姻就是开启这种基因的温床
And the sexless marriage’s just the environment to turn on that gene.
该基因基于愉快和奖励系统
It’s based on a system of pleasure and reward.
风险越高奖励越大
The stakes are high, the rewards, substantial.
它是完美的鸡尾酒 送服PEA这种春药
It is the perfect cocktail to turn that love drug back on, PEA,
然后循环欺骗就开始了
and the cycle begins again.
从历史上看 婚姻不是基于对彼此的爱
Historically, marriage was not based on mutual love.
婚姻是一种合法获得财产 体力劳动等的制度
But rather it was an institution to acquire, of all things, in-laws, property, and physical labor.
但在20世纪转型时期的美国
But at the turn of the 20th century, in America,
平等主义理想和崭露头角的好莱坞电影产业
egalitarian ideals and the emergingHollywood movie industry
给婚姻永远压上了名为承诺和浪漫之爱的重担
burdened marriages with promising romantic love forever.
我们永远同居了
And now we are living forever.
太棒了 恭喜你
Fantastic! Congratulations!
你的余生都要和同一个人做爱了
You get to have sex with the same person for the rest of your life!
来自患者的第二常见问题就是:性生活什么时候终结?
The second most common questionthat I hear from patients is, “When does sex end?”
一个44岁的男性问我
A 44-year-old asked me; he said,
“莫林 性生活什么时候终结呢 65岁吗?”
“When does sex end, Maureen? 65?”
我是这样回答他的:
I answered him this way,
“有一个22岁的问我 ‘性生活何时终结 35岁吗?’
“A 22-year-old asked me, ‘When does sex end, Maureen? 35?’
大家都在变老 死亡即是终结”
Everybody is older, until you get there.”
我在此想告诉大家 性生活不会终结
I am here to tell you that sex never ends.
如果你身体健康 你就能享受性生活
If you are healthy, you can have
[欢呼]
(Cheers)
[掌声]
(Applause)
若你身体康健 耄耋之年也能享鱼水之欢
If you are healthy, you can have a great sex life well into your 80s and 90s.
性对身体大有好处 性是健康有益的
Sex is good for you. Sex is healthy.
虽然性仍然被蒙着一层遮羞布
Yet, sex is shrouded in shame.
在古老的贵族阶级中
In the ancient aristocracies,
富有的男性在妓女处享乐 和情妇维持短暂的性爱
the wealthy men had courtesans for pleasure and concubines for quick sex.
而我们所处的时代 电脑就是我们的情妇
In the way we are going, computers will be our concubines;
网络色情文学就是我们的女主人
internet pornography, our mistress of the day.
科技迅速取代了人类沟通
Technology is fast replacinghuman connection at high speed.
那么你如何助燃无性婚姻呢?
So, how do you rev up the sexless marriage?
性生活时血流会加快 这是一种运动
Sex is about blood flow, it’s exercise.
每天你会想日常锻炼
Everyday, you want to have a daily workout.
性生活使你更敏捷更有活力
It increases your agility, your stamina.
当血液流往生殖器时
Women will experience more sexual sensation
女性会享受到更多的性快感
when blood is flowing to the genitalia.
性有助于治疗勃起功能障碍
It also helps to treat erectile dysfunction.
还能帮助规避其他潜在性功能障碍
Also, get help for any of the sexual dysfunctions you may have.
口服避孕药 母乳喂养
Vaginal dryness is an issue that happens to women
绝经期 绝经后的女性会遇到一个问题:阴道干燥
who are on the oral contraceptive pill,who are breastfeeding, perimenopausal,
而性爱就是最好的治疗
postmenopausal, and there are treatments for you.
请把目光从手机上移开 多关注你的配偶
Pay more attention to your spouse than you do to your smartphone.
将更多时间花费在卧室
Spend more time in your bedrooms
而非会议室
than you do in your boardrooms,
请不要把卧室变成会议室
or your bedrooms are going to become boardrooms.
[笑声]
(Laughter)
请妥善解决婚姻问题
Deal with your marital issues.
一次只睡一张床
Go to sleep in the same bed,at the same time,
不要让任何事任何人介入你的婚姻
and don’t bring anything or anyoneinto your marriage,
增长情趣的性爱玩具和修补婚姻裂痕的性爱专家除外
except for a great sex toy and a darn good sex therapist.
[笑声]
(Laughter)
你必须建立自己的婚姻指南
You must establish guidelines
当你被墙外的野花迷惑心智时
that govern those momentswhen you are struck
它能使你保持清醒状态
by someone’s attractivenessoutside of your marriage.
但请不要冒出“一生只能睡一个人”这种念头
But don’t think for a second that you have to have sex with the same person for the rest of your life.
不过这不是我想说的
That’s not what I mean.
我想说的是你心中持有幻想才是关键所在
In your mind, that is, fantasy is key.
因为你的大脑是最大的性器官
Your brain is your largest sex organ.
还有
And one more thing:
我想给大家一句箴言
I would like to leave you all off with a bang:
[笑声]
(Laughter)
请把所有婚姻问题摊到卧室 赤裸相待
settle all marital arguments in the bedroom, naked.
[欢呼 笑声]
(Cheers) (Laughter)
[掌声]
(Applause)

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视频概述

本视频介绍了关于无性婚姻的一些问题。

听录译者

收集自网络

翻译译者

ABC

审核员

审核员 RN

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVgzOyHVcj4

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