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马可·奥勒留:别在意他人的想法

Marcus Aurelius - Stop Caring What People Think

In Meditations, Marcus Aurelius said,
马可·奥勒留在《沉思录》写道
“don’t waste the rest of your time here worrying about other people
“别把你剩下的时间浪费在担心别人身上
unless it affects the common good,
除非这么做对你也有益
It will keep you from doing anything useful.
过分在意他人会妨碍你做真正有用的事
You’ll be too preoccupied with what so-and-so is doing, and why,
你会满脑子都是某某在做什么 为什么
and what they’re saying, and what they’re thinking, and what they’re up to,
他们在说什么 想什么 忙什么
and all the other things that throw you off and keep you from focusing on your own mind.”
和其他一切会让你迷失自己 无法专注于自己的想法的事情”
In my opinion, Marcus touches
我认为 马可触及到了
on the main issue that holds people back in life:
生活中最能拖人后腿的事情:
being attached to what other people think of them.
被他人的想法裹挟
So I’m gonna explore this idea through a dialogue.
我将会通过一段对话来剖析此观点
— In Shinjuku, when the clock strikes midnight,
日本新宿区 午夜钟声敲响时
a small bar opens up for a few hours.
有一间小酒馆会营业几小时
Few people visit it, but the one’s who go know what they’re looking for.
鲜少人来 但来的人都知道自己想从此处获得什么
Tonight, Himari takes a seat alone,
今晚 Himari独自就坐
and after a few drinks, she has the following conversation with the bartender.
小酌后 她与酒保有了以下对话
B: “If you’re attached to what other people think of you,
酒保说:“如果你被其他人的看法裹挟
you’ll never do anything truly useful.”
你就永远无法做真正有用的事”
H: “What do you mean?”
Himari说:“什么意思?”
B: “If you’re attached to what other people think of you, you’ll never be yourself.
酒保:“如果你依附于他人的想法 你永远不是真的你
And if life has taught me anything,
若问生活教会了我什么
it’s that being yourself is the only truly useful thing someone can do.”
那就是 做自己是一个人能做的唯一真正有用的事情”
H: “I don’t get it. How is being myself useful?”
Himari:“我没明白 为什么做自己是有用的?”
B: “True usefulness comes from being what you are.
酒保:“真正有用的东西来源于做自己
Think about a tree: its fruits and oxygen are a byproduct of it being itself.
想想一棵树:它的果实与氧气是它做自己的副产品
The same holds true for us.
放我们身上也是同理
We do useful things by being ourselves.”
我们通过做自己来做有用的事”
H: “But aren’t I always myself?”
Himari:“但我不是一直是自己吗?”
B: “You’re getting stuck in language.
酒保:“不 你被语言限制了
Let’s look at the tree again.
我们再来看看那棵树
Several things can stop the tree from being itself
有些事会阻止那棵树做自己
such as a lack of sunlight, a lack of water, and lots of competition in the environment.
比如缺少阳光和水 环境中存在许多竞争
There are obstacles stopping the tree from being.
这些障碍在阻止那棵树做自己
So being yourself is the same as overcoming your own obstacles.
所以做自己就相当于克服自身障碍
And one of the greatest obstacles to being yourself
做自己最大的障碍之一
is being attached to what other people think of you.”
就是过分在乎别人对你的看法”
H: “How does being attached to what other people think of me stop me from being myself?”
Himari:“过分在意别人对我的看法 怎么就会阻止我做自己呢?”
B: “When you are being yourself,
酒保:“当你做自己时
you have to be willing to violate people’s expectations of you.
你会敢于打破他人对你的期待
You have to be willing to disappoint them.
不怕令他们失望
You have to be willing for them to react negatively.
也不担心从他们那儿得到消极的反馈
But someone who’s attached to what other people think of them,
但一个被他人想法裹挟的人
is not willing to take that risk,
定不愿冒这个险
so they end up being who others want them to be
所以 他们最终成为了别人希望让他们成为的人
rather than being themselves.”
而不是做自己”
H: “I guess you’re right.
Himari:“我想你是对的
But what can I do?
但我能做什么呢?
I depend on what people think of me to survive.”
我靠别人对我的看法而活”
B: “So you’re attached to what people think of you
酒保:“你这就是被他人的想法裹挟了
because you’re dependent on their opinion for security.
因为你依赖他人的看法来获取安全感
But if your relationship depends on satisfying someone’s expectations,
但如果你们的关系靠迎合某人的期待维系
it’s not a real relationship.
那就不是真正的关系
You are a prisoner to someone’s idea of you.”
你是他人对你的看法的囚犯”
H: “I guess that’s true, but there’s still security in a prison.”
Himari:“是没错 可呆监狱里有安全感”
B: “Yes, but you’re in a prison.
酒保:“是的 但你是在监狱里啊
You’ve traded the whole of your life for security.
你用一生来换取安全感
What is there left to secure?”
除此之外 你还剩什么呢?”
H: “Hmm I guess that’s true.
Himari:“嗯 我想你说得对
I never thought about it.
我没这么想过
But no matter what I do, or where I go,
但不论我做什么 去哪里
I’ll always depend on people’s opinions for security!
我总是依靠他人的想法来获得安全感!
That’s how the world is, isn’t it.”
这世界就是这样 不是吗”
B: “If you sell water in a desert, does it matter what people think of you?
酒保:“如果你在沙漠里卖水 别人怎么想你还重要吗?
If you can truly produce something of value,
如果你可以创造有价值的事物
their opinions do not matter.”
他人的想法就不重要了”
H: “I guess you’re right.
Himari:“我想你是对的
But how do I make something of value?”
但我怎样才能创造有价值的事物?”
B: “That’s like asking how the tree makes its fruit.
酒保:“这就像你问我树为何会结出果实
I’ll put it like this:
我会这么回你:
a tree is imprisoned by a lack of water, sunlight, and competition.
禁锢树的 是缺少水 缺少阳光 缺少竞争
When the tree breaks out of these prisons, when it becomes completely free,
当它摆脱这些束缚 当它完全自由
the fruit is the natural outcome.
自然就会结果
It’s not about how you can produce something of value,
无关乎你能做出多有价值的事物
but how you can become free.
而关乎你能有多自由
When you break free of all your prisons, your fruit comes of its own accord.”
当你冲破牢笼获得自由 自然会开花结果”
— Marcus Aurelius said that caring about what other people think
马可·奥勒留说 在乎他人对自己的看法
would prevent you from doing anything useful,
会阻碍你做任何有用的事
and I explored the meaning behind this idea through a dialogue.
我通过一段对话探索了这话背后的意义
The most useful thing someone can do is be themselves.
做自己 就是一个人能做的最有用的事
And what we truly are can never be put into words.
真正的我们不是几个词能概括的
Whether we think we are good, bad, an artist, or a lawyer,
不论我们认为自己是好是坏 是个艺术家或是名律师
what we are can never be boiled down to a single word.
我们都无法用一个词来概括
When we say, “I am a wife,” or “a mother,” or “a musician,” or “a lawyer,”
当我们说 我是个妻子 母亲 音乐家或律师
we’re taking one tiny sliver of our memory and identifying ourselves with it.
我们只用了记忆中的一小部分来定义自己
We’re more than our memories.
我们绝不止如此
Being yourself is the same as overcoming your own problems,
做自己就是克服自己的困难
and truly overcoming your own problems is what allows you to help others overcome theirs
而真正克服自己的困难 才能帮助他人克服他们的困难
—which is why true value lies in being oneself.
这就是为什么 真正的价值在于做自己
But as long as we’re attached to what other people think of us,
但只要我们被他人的想法裹挟
we will always be what people want us to be
我们就永远会是别人希望我们成为的样子
rather than being ourselves.
而不是做自己
And if we abandon ourselves,
而若我们放弃自己
we abandon our ability to be truly useful to the world.
就放弃了给世界带来真正益处的能力
And if we abandon our ability to be truly useful to the world,
如果放弃了给世界带来真正益处的能力
we abandon what is perhaps the only form of true security.
就放弃了可能是唯一形式的真正的安全感
On the other hand, when we be what other people want us to be,
此外 要是我们成为了他人想让我们成为的样子
we have the security of a prisoner,
我们就会是有安全感的囚犯
which is security in exchange for life
这安全感是用人生换来的
—and that’s really not any security at all.
这可算不上什么安全感
But at the end of the day,
视频最后我想说
this is just my opinion and understanding of Marcus’ words,
这只是我对马可的话的观点与理解
not advice.
并不是建议
Feel free to use this information however you like,
欢迎从本视频引用任何你喜欢的信息
and if you have a different take on Marcus’ words,
如果你对马可的话有不同的想法
I’d love to hear your perspective in the comments.
欢迎在评论区留下你的观点

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视频概述

“别在意他人的想法,否则会迷失了自己”,马可·奥勒留在《沉思录》的话引发了视频作者的思考。

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视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVKaK5Xt6TI

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