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孤独与我们对群居生活的渴望

Loneliness and Our Craving for Community

We are, a lot of us, a great deal sadder, more anxious, more incomplete
我们中的很多人比实际需要感知到的
and more restless than we really need to be
更悲伤 更焦虑 更残缺 更不安
because of something very large that is missing from our lives.
因为我们的生活缺失了一些非常重要的东西
What’s worse, we don’t even know what this thing is
更糟糕的是 我们甚至不知道缺失的是什么
and how much we crave it,
也不知道我们对它有多么渴望
because we don’t have the right concepts, experience
因为我们对它没有正确的概念和经验
or encouragement to help us locate it.
也没有人鼓励我们去寻找它
What we long for and are slowly dying without is: community.
我们所渴望的 不可缺失的正是:群体
They tell us that we are suffering for all sorts of other reasons:
有人说 我们是因为其他原因而痛苦:
because we’re afraid of intimacy or are low on serotonin,
因为我们害怕与人亲近 血清素含量低
are beset by anxiety or trauma
为焦虑和创伤所困
or are chronically dysfunctional around attachment or trust.
对依恋和信任的长期不适
These may be accurate enough descriptions of our symptoms
也许这些原因准确地描述了我们的症状
but they arguably leave the real causes of our miseries untouched.
却可能没有触及我们痛苦的真正原因
To come to the point, it’s worth holding on to a basic historical insight:
说到这 我们有必要坚持一个基本的历史观点:
for most of our time on this planet
在地球上生活的大部分时间里
(by which one really means, for 99% of homo sapiens’s evolutionary existence),
实际上意味着 在绝大多数智人的生存进化史中
we lived in communities.
人类都以群体的方式生活
That is, groups of 20 or 30 people who worked together,
即 20到30人为一个群体一起工作
cooked communal meals, and lived and died around each other.
集体进食 生老病死都在一起
For most of history, we’d watch the sun going down
历史上大多数时期里 我们都和相同的人看日出日落
with the same people we knew deeply, trusted, sometimes bickered with
我们了解 信任他们 有时也会吵架
but overall felt overwhelmingly connected to.
但总的来说 我们之间的联系是十分紧密的
We’d shoot the breeze, we’d comfort each other when we were sad,
我们会闲聊 伤心时会互相安慰
we’d drop in unannounced on one another’s quarters,
不需要打招呼也能互相串门
we’d chat over our pains and stresses
会畅谈我们的痛苦和压力
and at special moments, we’d dance together
在重要的时刻 我们一起跳舞
and occasionally fall into ritual ecstatic states
偶尔也会在仪式上兴奋起来

where the normal barriers between egos would dissolve.
这时平常存在于人们之间的隔阂会消失
It’s only very late on in history that we’ve started living in condominiums,
在历史后期 我们才开始在公寓里独居
commuting to work in offices with people whose values we don’t share
和价值观不同的人一起在办公室上班
and eating for one in cities of ten million strangers.
一个人吃饭 生活在充满陌生人的城市里
Of course, arguments from evolutionary history aren’t always useful.
当然 进化史的论点并非总是有用的
For most of history we suffered from chronic toothache
在历史的大多时期 我们饱受慢性牙痛的折磨
and didn’t have access to hot baths –
没法泡热水澡
but no one would argue against our abandonment of our natural state in these areas.
但所有人都赞同舍弃这些方面的自然状态
Nevertheless, holding on to the idea
尽管如此 坚持认为
that we were once tribal and now most definitely are not
“虽然现在不是但我们确实曾以部落的方式生活”的观点
can help us to put a finger on something
可以帮我们找到
that we may legitimately miss and urgently need to recover a semblance of.
我们可能无意失去 并且迫切想要找回的东西
What happens to us outside of life in a tight-knit community?
而生活在一个紧密的群体之外会发生什么?
Firstly, we get very concerned – far too concerned –
首先 我们对恋爱很感冒 – 过于感冒
with falling in love with one special person
想要和那个特别的人相爱
who (we’re told) will end our customary sadness
据说这个人能终结我们习惯性的悲伤
and provide an answer to all our societal needs.
并回应我们所有的社会需求
Unsurprisingly, this enormous pressure on what a relationship should be
毫不奇怪 对相爱的期待带来的巨大压力
is the single greatest contributor to the collapse of unions that might,
是导致婚姻破裂最大的罪魁祸首
with more manageable expectations and a more close-knit friendship circle,
如果双方的期望更可控 交友圈更紧密
be entirely viable.
也许婚姻是可行的
We end up having to throw a lot of people away
最残酷的是 当我们想要把伴侣变成生活的全部时
when we want them to be that most cruel of things: everything.
最终我们因此不得不远离很多人
Secondly, the very pressure to be in a couple means
其次 结婚的压力意味着
we bolt into relationships that should never have started
我们会陷入一段本不应该开始的关系
and stick far too long inside toxic situations out of terror of singlehood.
同时由于恐惧单身 我们会忍受这种有害的环境很久
Thirdly, in our alienated condition, the desire for connection
再者 在疏远人群的环境下 对关系的渴望
can morph into a longing for extreme success, fame and reknown:
会转化为对成功 名誉和声望的极端渴求:
we grow materially wildly and insatiably ambitious
我们对物质的疯狂和永不满足的野心
out of an unquenched emotional need
出于一种无法抑制的情感需求
for nothing more esoteric than some good friends.
即除了两三好友外 我们别无所求
Even if we do have some, they’re liable to be scattered around the world,
即使我们有若干好友 他们可能散落在世界各地
cocooned in their own relationships or unavailable to us most of the time:
受缚于各自的人际关系 很多时候无法联系我们:
we’ve let our terror of intruding on one another scupper a yet more precious need
我们让互相侵犯的恐惧破坏了一种更宝贵的需要
one for an atmosphere of near-constant mutual assistance.
那就是一种近乎永恒的互助环境
Finally, our picture of what that nebulous category ‘other people’ is like
最后 我们对“其他人”这个模糊的群体印象
grows very sombre because we meet one another not in person,
变得十分阴暗 因为我们不是当面认识一个人
but via the media, something which constantly gives us cause to believe that
而是通过媒体 媒体一直让我们有理由相信
other people are fundamentally extreme, dangerous and cruel.
“其他人”本质上就是极端 危险和残忍的
Even though we collectively pride ourselves on living in highly innovative times,
尽管我们都为生活在一个高度创新的时代而自豪
we remain absurdly traditional in thinking about social set ups.
但我们对社会结构的想法 仍坚持着荒谬的传统
We have a million new apps a year,
每年有无数新应用开发出来
but no one ever seeks to reinvent how people might live together.
但没有一个试图重塑人们的群体生活方式
Sadly but understandably, communes don’t have a good reputation:
可悲但可以理解的是 群体的名声并不好:
one thinks of religious extremists,
它会让人想到宗教极端分子
weird fanatics and messianic leaders.
怪异的狂热分子和以救世主自称的领袖
None of the genuine advantages of bourgeois life or simply of
资产阶级生活的真正好处 或仅仅是合理的存在
reasoned existence seem compatible with communal living.
似乎都与群体生活格格不入
Furthermore, everything legal and commercial seems set up to frustrate any wish to live together:
此外 所有合法 盈利的事情似乎都在挫败共同生活的愿景
land costs a fortune, building is only for the very brave or the naive,
地价昂贵 建筑只属于非常勇敢或天真的人
how would one work, who would do the laundry, what would neighbors think…?
一个人怎么工作 谁来洗衣服 邻居会怎么想……?
Nevertheless, it’s worth pushing the imagination a little,
然而 我们还是可以激发一下想象力
and sidestepping some of the practical hurdles for long enough to get the mind working
为了思考 长时间避开一些实际障碍也是有必要的
(the material questions can always be solved once an idea properly takes root).
一旦想法生根发芽 实际障碍总是可以解决的
So imagine, for a moment therefore, what it would be like to live in an ideal kind of community.
不妨想象一下 生活在一个理想的集体是什么体验
It might be an elegant set of buildings in a desert or on the edge of a forest.
人们可能生活在位于沙漠或森林边缘的一组美丽的建筑里
Everyone would have a room, twenty or thirty in all,
每个人都会有一个房间 一共大概20到30间
modest but dignified, laid out amidst an array of charming communal areas.
质朴但有尊严 周围是一片布置得当的公共区域
Breakfast, lunch and dinner (simple and nutritious) would be
早午晚三餐 简单却营养丰富
eaten in company at long tables.
人们互相陪伴着 在长桌上进行
There’d be a commitment to look after one another,
他们承诺互相照顾
and fellowship based around shared ideals and values.
以共同的理想和价值观为基础建立起友谊
The craving to ‘get ahead’ would subside:
想要“出人头地”的渴望会消退:
it would be enough just to be accepted by this group.
只要被这个群体接受就足够了
This would be one’s tribe –
这将是你的部落 –
to whom one would open one’s heart and entrust a substantial part of one’s life.
一个人们互相敞开心扉 寄托了生命中重要的一大部分的地方
We’d have a joint sense of what meaningful labour was
我们对何为有意义的工作有共同的理解
and some of the most important work would be offering one another reassurance.
以及最重要的工作之一就是为彼此提供保障
We might have partners, but we wouldn’t expect them to be everything;
我们可能有伴侣 但我们不期望他们成为一切
a chance to share thoughts and emotions with others would
同时与他人分享想法和情感的机会
take a lot of the pressure off couples.
会大大减轻情侣间的压力
We’d have a daily impression of mattering to people.
每天我们都会觉得他人很重要
Our impulses to addiction, power and paranoia would lessen.
我们对成瘾 权力和偏执的冲动会削减
We’d rarely go online.
上网时间也会减少
The point isn’t, right now, to have an exact blueprint for a commune
现在的重点 不是要对集体有确切的蓝图
but to wake ourselves up to our desire for one;
而是要唤醒对集体的渴望
after which everything can flow.
之后一切都会水到渠成
Our ancestors were unfortunate in a thousand ways,
我们的祖先在很多方面都是不幸的
but they may well have had something we’re unknowingly dying for:
但他们也许拥有那样我们不知不觉间渴求的东西:
their own tribe.
他们的群体
Our perspective cards feature tools for a wiser, calmer perspective on life.
我们的透视卡具有更明智 更冷静地看待生活的功能
They help to restore calm and clarity, even during difficult times.
它们有助于恢复平静和清醒 哪怕是在困难时期

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视频概述

人类是一种群居的独居动物。我们享受独处,却也渴望着热闹和分享。享受孤独,却也不排斥来自外界的温暖和善意。

听录译者

收集自网络

翻译译者

乏善

审核员

审核员MS

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQEC9diyl-Y

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