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平庸恐惧症:惧怕自己过着平凡的人生 – 译学馆
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平庸恐惧症:惧怕自己过着平凡的人生

Koinophobia: The Fear that You've Lived an Ordinary Life

当你与它形影不离时 生命就像史诗
While you’re in it, life seems epic.
热烈 缥缈 而且不可预知
Fiery, tenuous, and unpredictable.
但是你一旦远离它
But once you have some distance from it,
一切似乎都在缩小
everything seems to shrink,
直到它消失得无影无踪
until it’s almost out of focus.
平庸恐惧症
[KOINOPHOBIA]
当你回首往事
When you look back over your life,
或尝试着把一生写在纸上
or try to put it down on paper
你会比以前看到的更多
You can see more of it now than ever before.
但它似乎变得有些渺茫了
And yet it seems somehow diminished.
平庸了
Humble.
几乎有点奇怪
Almost quaint.
这时你开始审视你的生命
So you begin scanning your life,
寻找那些有趣的或者美好的东西
looking for something interesting or beautiful.
你在一条普通的街道上
You see an ordinary house,
看到了一栋普通的房子
on an ordinary street.
它看起来比你记忆中的更小
It looks smaller than you remember.
你曾经有很炙热的理想
You once had wild dreams and
同时各种艰难险阻在你周围暗流涌动
obstacles and risks looming all around you,
但是现在它们看起来也变小了
but now they look smaller too.
你记忆中的那些巨人 女神和恶人
You remember giants and goddesses and villains,
现在只是狭小教室和工作室里
But all you see is ordinary people assembled
聚集的一群普通人
in their tiny classrooms and workspaces,
我们每个人都在小步小步地挪来挪去
each of us moving around in little steps,
就像游戏棋盘上的棋子
like tokens on a game board.
无论你摇多少次骰子
No matter how many times you rolled the dice,
这里和那里总会有小小的动静
it was always these little moves here andthere.,
做些工作
Do a little work,
休息一下
Take a little rest.
交些朋友
Make a little friend,
参加些聚会
Throw a little party.
有点无聊 有点叛逆
Feel a little boredom, Have a little rebellion.
很多这样本该做其他事的时间
There are so many of these token moments,
却最后用来当棋子了
that were supposed to represent some other thing.
你把它们汇集到一起
You keep adding them all up,
就像是有些事情忘了算进去
as if there was something you forgot to count,
忘了算那些从卡车后面掉下来的荣耀
some stash of glory that fell off the back of a truck.
你可能热爱你现有的生活 生活中的所有
And you may adore the life you have, for everything it is.
你知道这不是前所未有的
You know it isn’t groundbreaking;
你也不会做出任何改变
you wouldn’t change a thing.
或许在你首次开始构筑你想要的生活时
Maybe when you first started building thelife you wanted,
你给将来未知的事物留了很大空间
you left plenty of room for what might happen,
你开始忽视当时发生的事情
you started losing sight of what was happening.
或许你一开始就没有参与其中
Or maybe you were never’in it’ to begin with.
好像知道这不是你想象中的世界
As if you knew even then that this wasn’t the world you expected.
一个如此卑微而平凡的世界
A world so low and common
你试图和它保持距离
you tried to keep your distance,
漂浮在它上方
floating somewhere above it,
在那里没有人可以俯视你所创造的生活
where nobody else could look down on this life you built.
除了你没有别人
Nobody else but you.

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