我认为我被问到最多的问题是关于动力
I think the number one question that I get asked is about motivation, right.
并且提问者不断地寻找自身以外的动力
And they’re constantly seeking motivation outside of themselves.
所以首先我们必须知道鼓舞和
So first we have to appreciate that there’s a very big difference between inspiration
动力有很大不同
and motivation.
鼓舞很好
And inspiration is great.
你可以这么说 鼓舞是来自外界的一种催化剂
Inspiration is a source of, a catalyst if you will of change that comes from outside of you.
所以 鼓舞可能来自你看的一集《大想法》
So it could be an episode of Big Think that you watched.
它可能来自你听过的一首歌 读过的一本书 或你看过的某某的回忆录
It could be a song you heard, a book you read, a memoir that you saw on who knows, some episode
又或是几集电视剧 然后你会说“你猜怎么着？
of television and you say, you know what?
我被鼓舞了
I’m inspired.
如果他们能做到 我也能做到”
If they can do it, I can do it.
给了你一点前进的动力 对吧
And it gives you the little jumpstart on the engine, right.
接着车开始启动 但一两个月后 突然 你有些
And the car gets going and then in a month, maybe two all of a sudden you kind of peter
精疲力尽 电池又一次耗完了
out and the battery dies again.
那是因为你需要动力才能持续不断地运动
And that’s because you need motivation to stay in motion.
动力来自于你内心深处想要达成的目标
And motivation is that why that comes from inside of you.
有时候 人们会在被鼓舞后找到自己的动力
And so you get in these situations where somebody might be inspired and then find their motivation
之后他们便全情投入 努力实现自己的目标
and then they get all the way down the road and they come right up against that goal.
这时 他们不得不面对“失去” 这是由自我防卫机制
And this is when they get confronted with losing. The very thing that that defense mechanism
和破坏性行为导致的
and destructive behavior was providing them.
这时你还可能会发现 自己在一码线处崩溃了
And this is where you may find that you sabotage yourself right at the one yard line right
在你快要到达终点时你崩溃了
before you’re about to leap into that end zone.
这样的话 我会建议你做心理咨询并做更深入的调查
And I would say at that point get into some counseling and do some deeper work.
找出到底是什么在拖你的后腿 你为什么会有这样的表现
Find out what it is that is holding you back, that you’re engaging in these behaviors
然后爱自己 安抚自己 理解自己
for and then be loving, be nurturing, be understanding.
找到积极向上的方法来安抚自己 来让自己获得掌控感
Find ways that are life affirming to comfort yourself and to provide a sense of control
而不是自我毁灭
that are not self-destructive.
最重要的是你必须经常展望未来
And on top of that there should always be a look towards the future.
我们总是在成长 进步 发展
We’re always growing and evolving and progressing.
人生没有终点线
There is no finish line in life ultimately.
我认为这对有些人而言很难接受 因为我们会想 “好
And I think that’s tough for some to accept because we think okay, you know, I crossed
我跨过了终点线 然后呢？”
the finish line, now what?
你没有死
You’re not dead.
还有更多工作要做
There’s more work to do.
好好看看
Look at that.
认真中肯地看看自己 想想为什么自己会有这种行为
Take a hard honest look at yourself at why you’ve engaged in these behaviors.
摆脱那些消极的诱因
Get rid of some of those destructive incentives
不管是对你有不良影响的朋友
Whether it’s dysfunctional relationships in your friendships
还是对你没有积极影响的亲人 如果你没办法摆脱他们 那就和他们保持距离
Set boundaries with people if it’s in your family and you can’t control it.
摆脱生活中消极的影响
Remove negative impacts in your environment.
物品的好处之一就是 如果你去改变它们
And that’s one of the things that’s so good about actual things is that if you change
它们就被改变了
them, they stay changed.
不能倒退
There’s no fighting back.
进行深度的自省 并做一些心理咨询
But do some deep self-reflection and consider getting into some counseling to look at those
并找到使局面好转所需的东西
things and get the tools to turn them around.