I think the number one question that I get asked is about motivation, right.
And they’re constantly seeking motivation outside of themselves.
So first we have to appreciate that there’s a very big difference between inspiration
And inspiration is great.
Inspiration is a source of, a catalyst if you will of change that comes from outside of you.
So it could be an episode of Big Think that you watched.
它可能来自你听过的一首歌 读过的一本书 或你看过的某某的回忆录
It could be a song you heard, a book you read, a memoir that you saw on who knows, some episode
of television and you say, you know what?
If they can do it, I can do it.
And it gives you the little jumpstart on the engine, right.
接着车开始启动 但一两个月后 突然 你有些
And the car gets going and then in a month, maybe two all of a sudden you kind of peter
out and the battery dies again.
And that’s because you need motivation to stay in motion.
And motivation is that why that comes from inside of you.
And so you get in these situations where somebody might be inspired and then find their motivation
and then they get all the way down the road and they come right up against that goal.
这时 他们不得不面对“失去” 这是由自我防卫机制
And this is when they get confronted with losing. The very thing that that defense mechanism
and destructive behavior was providing them.
And this is where you may find that you sabotage yourself right at the one yard line right
before you’re about to leap into that end zone.
And I would say at that point get into some counseling and do some deeper work.
Find out what it is that is holding you back, that you’re engaging in these behaviors
然后爱自己 安抚自己 理解自己
for and then be loving, be nurturing, be understanding.
Find ways that are life affirming to comfort yourself and to provide a sense of control
that are not self-destructive.
And on top of that there should always be a look towards the future.
我们总是在成长 进步 发展
We’re always growing and evolving and progressing.
There is no finish line in life ultimately.
我认为这对有些人而言很难接受 因为我们会想 “好
And I think that’s tough for some to accept because we think okay, you know, I crossed
the finish line, now what?
You’re not dead.
There’s more work to do.
Look at that.
Take a hard honest look at yourself at why you’ve engaged in these behaviors.
Get rid of some of those destructive incentives
Whether it’s dysfunctional relationships in your friendships
还是对你没有积极影响的亲人 如果你没办法摆脱他们 那就和他们保持距离
Set boundaries with people if it’s in your family and you can’t control it.
Remove negative impacts in your environment.
And that’s one of the things that’s so good about actual things is that if you change
them, they stay changed.
There’s no fighting back.
But do some deep self-reflection and consider getting into some counseling to look at those
things and get the tools to turn them around.