I have a very—I’ve had a very skittish relationship with hope going back to when I was diagnosed
I really didn’t believe in the idea of hope for a long time.
坦白讲 我曾经认为它是为弱者准备的 就是说 我觉得
Frankly, I thought it was for weak people, you know, I thought that the strength, personal
strength and perseverance, could replace hope.
And when I was at the Vatican I met with a lot of doctors and scientists who were already
doing stem cell therapy and I was really quite taken.
I mean, I was quite surprised.
I always sort of had a futuristic view of stem cell therapy; I thought it sounded great,
but it was down the road.
And I had this flash of hope that I had never felt before and it really washed over me.
I mean it was quite astonishing to me.
And frankly, having met all these people, I was determined to find somebody to help
我的治疗小组中有一个叫Saud Sadiq的神经学家 他是纽约治疗多发性硬化症的权威
And one of the people on my panel was a neurologist named Saud Sadiq who’s a big MS guy in New
York, and he invited me to come see him when I got back to New York, and I really had in
my head—and by the way, he casually mentioned that he had an application into the FDA, and
I was really interested.
And when the FDA approved the trial, which had taken years of lobbying to make happen,
he told me that I was going to be the first one he treated, not for any reason except
that I had an unusual presentation of the disease because it’s on one side of my body.
Most people, it’s on both sides so it was much easier to chart progress or the lack
of progress with me.
So I was literally the first person in the world to be treated with this specific kind
这种特殊的细胞叫做间叶细胞 是一种很大的 空白干细胞
of cell that’s called mesenchymal cells, which are big, blank stem cells.
And that was the beginning of the trial.
But I started writing at that point and I realized that I had an attitude about hope
that was changing, it was in flux.
我认为 寻找希望 应该是一本很棒的书 因为对我来说寻找希望
And I thought the search for hope would be a good book because finding hope for me was
a journey, you know.
Look, my head is not in the clouds.
I’m not whistling ‘Dixie’ and skipping down the street.
On the other hand, I think that my bearing and my demeanor have changed.
我认为我变成一个更开朗的人 不一定更聪明 但是更健谈了
I think I’m a brighter person, not a smarter person, but a more voluble person.
I think my state of mind has changed, you know.
而希望 虽然希望和乐观是不同的 但是希望可以孕育乐观
And hope—though hope and optimism are different, hope can breed optimism.
And I think I’m more optimistic about changing my life than I have been.
这里没有任何 我的意思是 生活无论对于健康的人还是患病的人都是一个旅程
There are no—look, I mean, life is a journey for the healthy and the sick.
We don’t know the destination.
So there are no predictions here for me or for anybody else.
But I just feel better about myself and better about my prospects for the future since I’ve
been writing this book.
Because I’ve been sick with various things at various times, you know, I’ve seen a lot
of clergy very much in passing.
And I talk to them because they’re interesting people.
我与犹太教神父们 基督教神父们 牧师们以及伊斯兰教长们交谈 他们都在让人们相信希望
I talk to rabbis and priests and ministers and imams, and they all sell hope.
And they’re very well intentioned, but they’re very doctrinal about hope, you know.
我更相信它是自然有机的 无论希望存在于何种层面上 它都在我们的
I’m much more of the belief that it’s organic, that to whatever extent it exists, it’s inside
And I think we just go where it takes us, and I just don’t think you can legislate hope.
另一方面 我坚信你可以敞开心扉 如同我所做的这样
On the other hand, I do think that you can open yourself up, which is what I did.
我是说 当涉及到希望时 我曾经封闭自己 扔掉了那把打开心扉的
I mean, my mind was closed and locked and I had thrown away the key when it came to
But then it changed.
当我开始写这本书的时候 那真是一个对自身的质疑 并且我从中理解了许多
And once I began the book it really was a very personal inquiry and I learned a lot
about where I stood on hope.
所以 我非常开心 我完成了那本书
So I’m very glad that I’ve done it.