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亲密的“三角恋爱”

Intimate photos of a senior love triangle | Isadora Kosofsky

珍妮 威尔和阿迪娜是三名老年人
Jeanie, Will and Adinaare three senior citizens
他们因为一种特殊的关系紧密联系在一块
connected by a special relationship.
他们的关系是用来抵抗因衰老而带来的孤独感
They view their bond as a shield from the loneliness of aging.
我第一次见到他们是在洛杉矶的一家老人院
I first met them at a retirementhome in Los Angeles,
我在那儿从事拍摄工作有三年有一晚
where I had been photographingfor three years.
在我看到他们走近老人院门口的时候
I saw as they approachedthe gate one night,
就立即被他们吸引了
and felt an immediate connection to them.
虽然我并不清楚他们三角恋的细节
Although I didn’t know the detailsof their love triangle,
但直觉告诉我有必要去了解他们一天后
I intuitively felt that I had to find out who they were.
我询问了一名护士
Questioning a nursea day later, she said to me, “Oh,
她跟我说“你说的是那三角黄昏恋吧 ”
you’re talking about the threesome.”
(笑声)
(Laughter)
我很好奇
I was intrigued.
(笑声)
(Laughter)
这三个人每天
The trio set out
都结伴出门冒险 到咖啡厅
on a daily adventure to coffee and doughnut shops,
甜甜圈店 公交站和街角去转悠
bus stops and street corners.
我很快就明白他们出游的目的是为了寻求安慰
I soon learned that the purposeof these outings was solace
和探索生命的意义
and a search for meaning.
他们三个人用这种方法对抗这种被疏远的孤独感
The trio sought to combat their alienation
将自身与公共街道彻底融为一体然而
by literally integrating themselvesin public streets. Yet,
即便他们手挽手的走在街上 也没有人注意到他们
even when arm in arm,no one saw them.
我们经常想 随着我们年龄增长
We often think that as we age,
我们就会失去年轻时的欲望
we lose the desires held in our youth. Actually,
但事实上 作为一名少年摄影记者 当我遇到他们三个人时
as a teenage photojournalistwhen I met the trio,
我把他们的行为视为一面镜子
I saw their behavior as a mirror
反映了对被排斥的恐惧 以及对被亲近的渴望
to the fears of exclusionand desires for intimacy
而我对此感同身受
that I also carried.
我对他们被人无视的经历感同身受
I related to their invisibility,
这让我在童年时期十分痛苦
which pained me during my childhood
但是这段切身经历成为了我作为纪实摄影师最宝贵的财富
but has become my greatest assetas an immersive documentarian,
因为这样我可以淡化自己的同理心
because I can just fade into my empathy.
随着我们沿着好莱坞的街道行走
As we walked downthe streets of Hollywood,
在这一个编剧 演员 和制片人比比皆是的社区里
in a neighborhood of screenwriters,actors and filmmakers,
他们三个人所承受的漠视 是每位老年人都在承受的
the trio assumed the invisibilitythat each senior does.
我会问我自己
I would ask myself,
“怎么会没有人注意到
“ How is it that no one else sees these three human beings?
这三个人呢?” “为什么我是唯一一个注意他们的人?”
Why is it that I am the only one who sees them?
几年后


Years later,
我开始和大众分享我的这组作品时
as I began to share this work with the public,
我注意到 大部分人听完这个故事后感到很不舒服
I noticed that people are largelyuncomfortable with this story.
也许是因为他们三个人的故事
Perhaps it is because the triodoesn’t assume conventional notions
不符合世俗对爱情 浪漫 伴侣关系的传统看法
associated with love,romance or partnership.
他们在公众面前被视而不见 也被他们的同龄人所不容
They were unseen in publicand shunned by their peers.
他们也想身有所属
They wanted to belong somewhere
但似乎他们只属于彼此
but only seemed to belong with each other.
我也想找到我的容身之处
I wanted to belong somewhere, too.
而我的镜头帮助我更快的融入每一个地方
And my camera has been a catalyst for me to belong everywhere.
但除了挑战了世俗对于长者的看法外
But beyond challenging socioculturalnorms about the elderly,
他们三个人也诠释了对于被疏远的恐惧
the trio sheds lighton fear of remoteness.
在每天结束的时候 他们回到他们各自的老人院
At the end of each day, they return to their respective retirement homes.
在他们孤独的表面下
Under the surface of their aloneness,
有着他们对融入社区的向往 对被人关爱的渴望
there is a desire for community,for their people.
他们每个人都
There was a sense
渴望遇到与他们志趣相投的同类人
that they were each yearning for their tribe,
但那样的安慰往往
but that comfort comes with compromise,
伴随着妥协 因为威尔无法只对一个女人做出承诺
because Will cannot commit to one woman.
有一天在珍妮的公寓里 我和她坐在一块
Sitting with Jeanie one day in her apartment,
她对我说:
she said to me,
“与别人分享威尔是很烦恼的
“Sharing Will is a thorn in your side.
男女之间的感情应该是私人的
A relationship between a manand a woman is private.
是属于两个人的 不是三个人的 ”
It is a couple, not a trio.”
我的工作就是最终成为我
My process is to essentiallybecome the people I document
所记录的人 以一个的观察者——居住者的身份 通过与他们相处多年
by spending years with themas an observer-occupant,
建立一个安全的空间 然后从一个显眼的位置隐身
to create a safe space, to then become hidden in plain sight.
遇到他们三个人的时候
I was about 17 when I met the trio,
我才17岁 我跟踪记录他们的生活四年
and I shadowed them for four years.
分析社会的发展阶段 我们其实发现
We actually see, in the breakdownof social development,
青春期和老年期其实惊人的相似
that adolescence and old agelook strikingly alike,
因为这两个阶段都充满了对身份认知的困惑
because both are periodsof identity confusion.
我认同那两名女性
I identified with the women.
但同样的 我也认同威尔 他让我意识到了我内在的分裂
But also with Will, who made me aware of the divide in me.
而这种分裂是我们每一个人
The schism that we each often have
都具有的: 我们内心渴望的 以及我们实际的处境
about what we craveand the actuality of our situation.
在拍摄这系列纪录片之前
Before shooting this series,
我同时
I was also
爱上了两个人 他们之间相互认识
in love with two different people who knew about each other,
所以我成为了他们争吵的对象
being the object over which they fought.
但我能理解 成为这段三角恋的
But I also knew what it was like to be
基底是什么样的感受
at the base of the triangle,
就像珍妮和阿迪娜一样 我不断地问我自己:
like Jeanie or Adina, asking myself,
“为什么我这么贪婪呢?”
“Why aren’t I enough?”
我透过我的摄影机 看到了三个年迈的身影
I would look through my viewfinderand see three elderly figures,
我们无法否认 无论年纪大小
and it became impossible to denythat regardless of age,
我们每一个人都试图通过他人 填满自身内心的空洞
we were each in pursuit of filling the proverbial hole through other people.
也许我们之所以听完珍妮 威尔 还有阿迪娜的故事感到不舒服
Perhaps the discomfort of lookingat Jeanie, Will and Adina’s story
是因为他们恰恰提醒了我们 即便是在生命的最后关头
is truly a reminderthat even at the end of life,
我们也许也永远无法实现曾经自我幻想的完美爱情
we may never reach the fantasywe have envisioned for ourselves.
谢谢大家的聆听(掌声
Thank you for listening.
呐喊)
(Applause)

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视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MEHU2gp1wtg

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