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幸福生活指南

Instructions for a Happy Life

1. 用牙线洁牙
1. Floss.
这对于保持牙齿卫生是很必要的
It is essential for good dental hygiene.
2. 偶尔散散步
2. Take a long walk now and then
3. 每天吃一些水果
3. eat several service of fruits a day.
4. 睡前不喝含咖啡因饮料
4. Don’t drink caffeine before bed.
5. 尝试晚上至少睡七个小时
5. Attempt to sleep at least seven hours a night
6. 接受他/她永远不会回来的事实
and 6. Accept that he / she is never coming back.
7. 接受过去的事是无法挽回的
7. Accept that the past is irreparable
停留在过去改变不了任何东西
and dwelling on it will change nothing.
8. 你可以回忆过去 然后向前看
8. Dwell on it anyway, and then move on.
9. 如果可以 独自旅行
9. Travel alone, if you can.
10. 避开旅行陷阱
10. Avoid the tourist traps,
学会用当地语言数一到十和“请”“谢谢”
learn one to ten and “please”, “thank you” in the local language
你就已经超过
and you’ve already surpassed 90% of all the tourists
在你之前来这里的90%的旅客了
who have ever been there before you.
11. 学习掌握新技能
11. Acquire new talents for the sake of acquiring them.
如果可能 年轻时学会一门乐器
If you’re young, learn an instrument if possible
你以后可能不会再这么有空了
you will never have this much free time ever again.
12. 每周至少好好锻炼三次
12. Exercise at least three times a week, vigorously.
13. 买合身的衣服
13. Buy clothes that fits properly
你会发现日常生活有所不同
you’ll notice the difference in your dating life.
14. 时刻检查你的系统是否能负载游戏
14. Always check your system has the specs to run the game. fukh~
15. 时刻检查牛奶是否在保质期内
15. Always check the milk is in date ~fukh~
16. 时刻检查盖子没掉下去
16. Always check the lid hasn’t fallen down ~fukhhh~
17. 接受总会有那么一段时间每件事都理解不了每件事都糟透了
17. Accept there will be whole weeks when you understand nothing and everything hurts
18. 接受有时蠢人很幸运 而有时聪明人反而成不了事
18. Accept sometimes stupid people get lucky, and sometimes smart people never make it.
19. 接受班上的女孩很可能不会先开始一段谈话
19. Accept that girl in class likely isn’t going to strike up a conversation first,
但是如果你先开口是没问题的
but if you do it will probably go alright.
20. 接受即使一件事很不可思议
20. Accept that just because it’s weird,
也不意味着它就是更好的
doesn’t mean it’s clever.
21. 承认乔治·卢卡斯确实值得尊敬
21. Accept that George Lucas does deserve respects
即使他在前篇如此之烂
regardless of the prequels.
22. 接受你可以不会使筷子
22. Accept it’s okay if you can’t use chopsticks and
23. 接受在将来你死后的
23. Accept that there is a set point in the future,
某个时间
after your death
在你家人朋友
when you’ll be thought about for the final time
最后一次想起你之后
by a friend or family member
你就会被永远遗忘在历史长河里……
and then forgotten from history forever…
24. 在父母活着时多花费时间陪陪他们
24. Spend more time with your parents if they’re alive.
即使他们身体硬朗
Even if they are nob-ends,
总有一天他们会离开人世
there will come a time when they will be gone,
到时候不再有人会打电话回家
and there will be no one to phone home to,
再没有拥抱 再没有争吵
no more hugs, no more bickering,
再没人说你童年时的笑话
no more in-jokes from your childhood.
25. 如果必要 可以讨论政治
25. Argue about politics if you must,
但接受如果你表现得像个混蛋
but accept that the other person won’t change their view
其他人不会改变自己的观点
if you start being a dick
另外 即使从策略角度来说
besides even from a tactical perspective
对人友好总是更有可能说服别人
being nice is always more likely to persuade someone anyway.
26. 如果你有时间 了解前沿的物理
26. Follow cutting-edge physics if you have the time.
这是人类学习宇宙的过程
It is the process of humans learning to speak fluent universe.
27. 接受昂贵的威士忌总是值那高价
27. Accept that expensive whiskey is almost always worth the money.
28. 接受昂贵的跑鞋总是不值那价格
28. Accept that expensive running shoes that almost never worth the money.
29. 接受油管主播和网络红人
29. Accept that youtubers and online personalities
常常是一些进不了他们想进入的领域的人
are often people who couldn’t get into the field they wanted to do.
不要把他们的话当做真理
Do not take their word as gospel.
特别是那些自作聪明者做作空洞的建议
Especially pretentious advice from disembodied smart-ass narrators,
可能他们的生活比你的更加枯燥无味 咳
whose life is probably considerably duller than yours… mhm…
30. 试着忍受烂梗冷段子
30. Attempt to tolerate meta-humor.
31. 接受有些事没有人负责
31. Accept that no one is in charge,
没有人处理得好也没有人去做
not properly and no one has a handle on
即使是斯蒂芬·弗雷在也没用
any of this; Not even Stephen Fry.
32. 如果你希望保持理智
32. Avoid the new season of Twin Peaks
不要看《双峰》的新一季 如果不想那就看吧
if you wish to conserve your sanity. Watch it if not.
忍受一个事实:终其一生
33. Come to terms with the fact that there is probably
你很可能根本掌握不到绝对的真理
no absolute truth that you’ll grasp in your lifetime.
但是
However,
如果聚会上的人尝试告诉你所有事物皆有关联
if someone at the party tries to tell you everything is relative,
那就邀请他们从五楼的房间离开
invite them to exit the building from the 5th floor
看看地心引力是不是也是操蛋的构想
and see if gravity is also a social fucking construct.
34. 不要被用长单词的人吓住
34. Do not be intimidated by people who use long words
他们很可能比你更忧虑自己的智力
they are likely more insecure about their own intelligence than you are.
不如向他们表达你最“兴奋不已 宽宏大量的大力赞许”吧
Instead afford them your most”effervescently magnanimous approbation”
35. 收拾之前 铺个床吧
35. Before tidying up, make the bed,
突然间事情就会变得简单多了
suddenly everything will seem easier.
36. 有规律地看牙医
36. Visit the dentist at regular intervals.
37. 看《蜘蛛侠》 不要停
37. Read Ray Bradbury. Always.
38. 不要买便宜的胶纸
38. Do not purchase cheap Cellotape.
便宜胶纸会浪费你很多时间
It is about time someone stuck it to those bastards.
39. 接纳让你像个小孩子的小脾气
39. Embrace your own eccentricity orWhat made you a freak as a kid
这样你会更像个有趣的成年人
will likely make you an interesting adult.
40. 了解至少四个星座的名字和位置
40. Learn the names and positions of at least four constellations.
我推荐你学习猎户座 小熊座 大熊座和仙后座
I recommend Orion, Ursa Minor, Ursa Major, and Cassiopeia.
我保证在某些重要的浪漫时刻这是很有用的
This is guaranteed to be useful in a romantic setting at some point.
41. 尽量少吃点盐
41. Try to eat less salt.
42. 尽量多吃点蔬菜
42. Try to eat more vegetables,
43. 尝试接受幸福不是一个永恒的状态
43. Try to accept that happiness isn’t a constant state,
也不会平白无故地降临
nor does it come for free.
幸福是对于努力工作的化学奖赏
It is a chemical reward for hard work
而要想更幸福 就必须……更努力地工作
and to get more of it one has to do more…hard work.
这适用于事业 情感关系 友谊 特别适用于《异星工厂》
This applies to careers, relationships, friendships, and especially Factorio™
44. 如果你愿意的话 节食吧
44. Diet, if you want to,
但是要承认不管什么饮食——多精致丰富也好
but acknowledge that all diets- however elaborate
归结到底还是要少张嘴 迈开腿
are all variations on eat less, move more.
45. 有时间的话 坚持写日记
45. Keep a journal if you have time, it’ll serve as
它能留下一个个你傻乎乎做人生决定的瞬间
a snapshot for how silly your life decisions are right now,
你可以在十年后边读它边笑 然后接着写
and you can read it in ten years and chuckle and write some more
然后你又能在另一个十年后边读边笑
and then you can read that in another 10 years and have another chuckle.
多有趣啊!
great fun!
46. 如果你达到法定年龄了 看在耶稣的面上投票吧
46. If you’re of legal age, VOTE for Christ’s sake™
47. 尝试找到你的热情所在
47. Attempt to locate your passions.
找到热情所在时 看看能否用这热情换来钞票
When you locate them, see if they can be monetized.
如果可以 恭喜你已经找到了你的职业
If they can, congratulations you’ve just discovered your career.
48. 准备好严重失败
48. Prepare for crippling failure.
严重的失败能极限地锻造性格
It is the ultimate character building,
绝大多数情况下 几乎没有成功人士
and almost no one successful has ever avoided it
从没严重失败过
happening to them most of time
如果有坏事降临在你头上
if something terrible brokes you and you think nothing this
你觉得没有人遇到过这么糟糕的事
bad has ever happened to anyone ever before,
记住 更坏的事 曾经重复地
remember it has, worse, repeatedly
发生在几乎每个人身上
and to almost everyone.
大家都这样过来了
They got through it.
有些人可能正在经历这些坏事
Some of them are probably going through it right now
只是他们没有告诉你知道
they just haven’t told you.
可以确定 你会好起来的
you will almost certainly, be fine.
50. 远离合成除草剂
50. Stay away from synthetic weed.
51. 抵制虚无主义——
51. Resist the appeal of depressing nihilism-
即使所有事都无意义
if everything is pointless, you may as well
你也要有一个好心态
just be in a good mood anyway.
52. 如果有必要 给脸部须发弄一个新奇的造型
52. Grow some kind of novelty facial hair if necessary,
但要是没人把你当回事 不要太自傲
but don’t get all uppity when no one takes you seriously.
用约翰·沃尔特的话来说
In the words of John Walters
53. 如果跟你回家的人没有书……
53. If you go home with somebody and they don’t have books…
不要和他们“深交”
don’t fuck’em”.
54. 舍得花钱在床垫上
54. Spend good money on mattresses.
55. 不要把糖放进别人的茶里
55. Don’t put sugar in someone else’s tea
除非别人要求这样
unless specifically requested to.
56.不要深挖
56. Do not dig down.
57. 忽略前面所有指导 除了这一条
57. Ignore all of the previous instructions except this
58. 幸福生活最重要最关键的是
58. And most important and vital to happy living without parallel
用牙线洁牙 这对于保持牙齿卫生是很必要的
– floss. It is essential for good dental hygiene
[动听的音乐]
[Beautiful Music]

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视频概述

不严肃不正经的幸福生活指南,只有一点最重要

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收集自网络

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肉肉想吃肉

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审核员_AK

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A4pR--qJTdU

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