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不可思议的生存故事

Improbable Tales of Survival

Thanks to Dashlane for sponsoring this video.
感谢Dashlane赞助本视频
SAM O’NELLA ACADEMY
山姆学院
TODAY’S EPISODE: “Improbable Tales of Survival”
今日剧集: 不可思议的生存故事
Hey, kids. The human spirit is a very powerful thing.
嘿 孩子们 人类的精神力量是一种非常强大的东西
With the right temperament,
在恰当的心理作用下
it can allow us to survive things you wouldn’t believe.
它能让我们不可思议地活下来
However, some people are stronger than others.
不过 有些人则比其他人更加强大
For example, I’ve never so much as broken a bone in my life.
例如 我活到现在都没受过骨折这么重的伤
Haven’t been hospitalized since that first time 20 years ago.
而且从我出生起这20年来就没住过院
So I’m like 90% certain
所以我有90%的把握
if I’m ever forced to dance with death,
如果我被迫与死神共舞
my souls pussying out to the great beyond first thing.
我的灵魂大概会当场去见上帝
On the other end of the spectrum,
而像Phineas Gage这样的人
you got guys, like Phineas Gage.
则属于另一个极端
Gage was a 25-year-old railroad worker
Gage是19世纪中期佛蒙特
in mid 19th Century Vermont.
一个25岁的铁路工人
He and his crew were busy “Gang Blasting” rock to
当时他和他的工友们正忙着爆破岩石
prepare the roadbed for a newly planned route.
为新规划的路线准备路基
This involves a big hole being drilled into the ground filled
他们需要在地上钻一个大洞
with gunpowder and packed down using a tamping iron.
往洞中填满火药并用一根填塞杆压实
Well, being the gentleman and scholar that he is,
而Gage作为一个绅士和学者
Gage decides to lean forward and
他决定探过身去
look directly into the hole, right?
正对着洞口作业
Now the first rule of gun safety is
枪支安全第一准则:
to never look down the front of a gun.
永远别对着枪口看
Everyone knows that.
每个人都知道
Gage basically just turned the earth into a gun and
Gage实际上把地球变成了一把枪
decided to put his head right in front of its gaping barrel
然后把自己的头直接对准了枪口
and wouldn’t you know it, the powder goes off.
你猜怎么着 火药爆炸了
The tamping iron shoots up into his cheek mos is
填塞杆射进他的脸颊
right on through his freaking brain and
正好穿过他奇怪的大脑
goes soaring out the other side,
然后从另一边飞出去
landing 80 feet away.
落在80英尺外
All smeared with blood and thought juice.
上面沾满了鲜血和脑浆
Now by and large,
总的来说
Gage should have drop dead immediately and been thrown into ravine
Gage本应该当场死亡并被扔进山谷
for his blatant disregard for OSHA regulations
因为他公然无视职业安全和健康署的规定
and that would have been the end of it.
故事应该到此就结束了
But I guess Shiva Gautama Christ-Chan,
但我猜施瓦乔达摩基督
the one true God,
唯一的真神
decided Gage still had unfinished business down here
认为Gage在这里还有未完成的任务
on shit outta luck three.
认为他只是该死的运气不好
Cuz after a few minutes of twitching on the ground,
因为在地上抽搐了几分钟后
he got up, looked around, and thought
他站起来 环顾四周 想到:
“Well, now’s a good time as any for my yearly checkup.”
现在刚好到了每年做体检的时候了
According to the doctor he went to,
据给他检查的医生说
well, Gage was retelling the story of what happened.
Gage讲述了当时发生的事情
He suddenly started vomiting all over the place,
突然 他开始吐得到处都是
the effort of which
结果就是
and I quote pushed out about half a tea cup full of the brain,
他吐的时候 挤出了大约半个茶杯的大脑
which fell upon the floor.
掉在地上
He didn’t say what they did with it after.
医生没说这部分大脑后来怎么了
I’m picturing his dog just running over
我想象着他的狗跑过来
and immediately scarfing it down,
一口吃掉了这块脑子
then being plagued with the memories
然后被这个铁路工人的记忆
of a human railroad worker for the rest of his life.
困扰着度过余生
And the months following,
接下来的几个月里
Gage made a near complete recovery, physically anyway.
Gage几乎完全康复了 至少生理上是这样
He did lose a bit of his mind,
他确实少了一点脑子
which caused him to lose his mind a bit.
这让他有点失去理智
Whereas Gage was once an upstanding hard-working citizen,
Gage曾经是一个正直勤劳的公民
his untimely brain blast transformed him into
但不定时的头痛欲裂使他变成
an angry incoherent drunkard mumbling:
一个易怒的语无伦次的酒鬼
“The grossest profanity whenever he deemed fit.” And
在他认为合适的时候说最粗俗的话
showing little to no regard for human life whatsoever.
丝毫不顾及他人
Naturally, he was fired from his job at the railroad.
自然而然 他就被铁路公司炒了
So Gage ended up wandering the earth
于是Gage开始四处漂泊
earning money any way he could.
用尽一切办法赚钱
For a while, he hung out at
有段时间他闲逛到了
Barnum’s American Museum in New York City,
美国纽约的巴纳姆博物馆
basically making an exhibit of himself,
自己站在那里展览自己
standing there with the tamping iron, like
并拿着填塞杆说:
“Hi! This went through my brain. Bye!”
“嘿!这玩意儿曾经穿过我的大脑 回见”
He later had a stint as a farmhand in California
后来他在加利福尼亚做农场工
and a stagecoach driver in Chile,
在智利做车夫
which I don’t know who let the guy with severe brain trauma and
我不知道是谁让那个有严重脑损伤
no depth perception drive a vehicle, but whatever.
且没有深度知觉的人驾车 不过无所谓了
Over time, he actually became a lot more functional
随着时间的流逝 他变得越来越清醒
until finally ten years later when his brain remembered
直到十年后他的大脑终于想起来
“Oh, yeah. I shouldn’t exist.”,
“哦 我并不应该存在的”
leaving to Gage having a bunch of seizures and
于是Gage癫痫发作
dying at age 36.
并死于36岁
A similar story happened with one Ron Hunt in 2003.
2003年Ron Hunt有同样遭遇
He was an American construction worker
他是美国一名建筑工人
who was drilling a hole above his head.
在给头顶上方的墙面钻孔时
When the ladder he was standing on decided to give way,
踩踏的梯子突然滑倒
leading to Hunt landing face-first on a 1.5 inch auger drill bit.
导致Hunt的脸被一个1.5英寸的螺旋钻钻头穿过
The drill went straight through his left eye and
钻头直接穿过他的左眼
out the back of his skull.
从头骨后方钻出
To give you a reference of what 1.5 inches of drill looks like,
给你参考一下 1.5英寸钻头长什么样
here’s the actual X-ray that doctors took
这是Hunt抵达医院后
when Hunt arrived at the hospital.
拍摄出的真实X光片
Miraculously, the drill ended up just kind of pushing his
神奇的是 他的大脑最终只是
brain out of the way, leading to no cognitive impairment whatsoever.
被钻头挤到一边 没有导致任何认知障碍
Matter of fact, Hunt was perfectly lucid
事实上 当医生试图找一个最好的办法
while the doctors tried to figure out the best way to
把这个钻头从他脑袋里取出来时
take the thing out of his head.
Hunt十分清醒
Initially, they considered cutting it out.
起初 医生们考虑切割
But that would have been too messy.
但那样会弄得一塌糊涂
So eventually they decided to
最后他们决定
literally just unscrew it from his head,
慢慢的将钻头从他的脑袋上旋下来
like “All right. Hold him still now.”
“好的 把他抓紧了”
Oh, you fucking milf, lefty loosey.
去你的 要左旋才对
-Does that mean the top or the bottom? -The what?
-你是指向上左旋还是向下左旋? -什么?
It’s a rotating circle.
这是螺旋的
-And? -Okay, you hold on for one sec.
-所以呢? -好吧 你帮我拿着一下
Look, one way the top goes left,
你看 要么向上左旋
one way the bottom. So which?
要么向下左旋 所以选哪个?
That clearly the one on top.
明显是向上左旋啊
Why? Tell me why? Why clearly?
为什么?告诉我为什么?哪儿明显了?
Same reason, north is up on the map.
同样的道理 上北下南
It’s just common practice.
这是常识
All right. We’re sorry for not subscribing to
好吧 我们很抱歉没有订阅
your Eurocentric propaganda.
你的欧洲中心论的宣传
Damn! you soggy cunt.
该死 你这个讨厌鬼
Anyway, what were we doing?
等一下 我们刚刚要干嘛?
If you think Hunt was just a little too lucky with
如果你觉得Hunt在这次事故中走了大运
his incident, don’t worry.
别担心
According to Snopes,
据Snopes调查
he was self-employed and didn’t have insurance.
他是个临时工还没有保险
So while the accident didn’t ruin his life,
所以尽管事故没有让他丧命
you can’t sleep easy,
但当他得知
knowing the hundreds of thousands of dollars of
还有数十万美元的医疗和康复费用
medical bills, rehabilitation costs, probably did.
他大概也没法睡一个安稳觉了
Our next tale revolves around Greg Rasmussen,
我们下一个故事是关于Greg Rasmussen
a British for an animal conservationist
这是一位在津巴布韦研究野生动物的
who was studying wildlife in Zimbabwe.
动物保护主义者
One day, he got reports of
有一天 他得知
a highly endangered Rhino being spotted in the area.
该地区发现高度濒危的犀牛
So Greg took to the skies in a single
于是Greg开着一架单座客机
passenger plane to track the Beast.
在空中寻找濒危犀牛的踪迹
Fate was looking down at Greg that day and
命运之神这天正看着Greg
after a moment it said “No. Rhino must die.”
过了一会他说:“不 犀牛必须死”
And a huge gust of wind came out of nowhere
不知从哪里突然刮来一阵风
sending Greg into a tailspin crash
导致飞机尾旋坠毁
landing right in the middle of the untamed African bush.
正好落在非洲野生丛林的中部
When Greg woke up, he found that
当Greg醒来时 他发现
his legs look like used-up tubes of toothpaste.
他的腿看起来像是挤完的牙膏管
So he was essentially trapped right where he was.
所以他基本上被困在了原地
Arguably, worse than that was the fact that Greg was
更糟糕的是Greg在起飞之前
dehydrated before he even took off,
就已经脱水了
hoping to get water at his destination
他本希望能在目的地取到水
and just when things look like they couldn’t get any worse,
就在情况看起来不能再糟的时候
they got worse.
情况变得更糟了
A group of elephants showed up and started harassing
一群大象突然出现并径直向Greg涌来
and straight up stampeding at Greg.
它们开始袭击他
With no other option,
Greg没有其他选择
he starts banging on the wreckage as hard as he could.
只能用力地敲击飞机残骸
The elephants would …
然后大象……
and decided to leave him alone.
扬长而去
He was also approached by
Greg还遭遇了
a pack of hyenas and actual lionesses on the Hunt.
一群正在狩猎的鬣狗和雌狮
But fortunately, animals are all morons.
但幸运的是 动物们都是傻瓜
So the same trick worked on them, too.
所以同样的伎俩对它们也适用
Greg spent an entire day and night
Greg被困在飞机残骸下
pinned under the wreckage fighting off
整整一天一夜
wildlife severe dehydration and extreme temperatures
还得抵抗野生动物 严重脱水以及夜晚极低的温度
before finally being rescued the next morning.
终于Greg在第二天早上获救了
Incredibly, after over 100 operations, doctors managed
不可思议的是 经过100多次手术
to get Greggy’s leg ease up and running again.
医生们成功治好了Greg的腿
Although he was now three inches shorter,
尽管他现在矮了三英寸
which is probably for the best
但这大概是最好的结果了
because now they can just stick the keys at the plane on top of the fridge.
因为现在只要把飞机钥匙放到冰箱顶部
So he never has another incident like this again.
那他就再也不会出这种事故了
So moral of the story, us humans are resilient creatures
这些事件表明人类是有坚韧意志的生物
who will do anything in our power to survive and
为了生存会做任何事
just as Greg Rasmussen banged on his destroyed plane
就像Greg Rasmussen敲击飞机残骸
to ward off predators in Zimbabwe.
以抵御津巴布韦的掠食者一样
You should bang on your keyboard right now
你现在就可以敲击你的键盘通过Dashlane
to ward off predators online. with Dashlane.
来抵御网上的掠食者了
In this day and age
在当今时代
cyber security and privacy have never been more important
网络安全和隐私从未如此重要
and only a select few people have the time, energy
只有极少数人有时间 精力
and know how to keep their data as safe as humanly possible.
并知道如何保持他们的数据尽可能安全
With Dashline,
有了Dashlane
you can take all your passwords and autofill data
您可以跨设备获取所有密码并自动填充
across all your devices and use the power of encryption
并使用加密功能
to keep them out of the hands of lowly hackers.
避免其落入低劣的黑客之手
PC, Mac, iOS, Android, Chrome, Safari, abacus,
无论你的设备是PC Mac iOS Android Chrome Safari 算盘
doesn’t matter. Dashlane got your back.
这都不重要 因为Dashlane都支持
No. Dashlane does not
噢 不对
offer services for rudimentary mechanical calculators.
Dashlane不为算盘提供服务
Something especially cool is that
最酷的是
you can actually change your passwords right in Dashlane
您可以在Dashlane中直接更改密码
without that whole chain of a-okay reset.
而无需按步骤重置
Which email? Who knows?
哪个邮箱?谁知道呢?
What’s my favorite beverage?
我最喜欢的饮料是什么?
Well, I know 14-year-old me didn’t say whiskey sour.
好吧 我知道14岁的我不会回答“威士忌酸酒”的
So I guess I’m screwed.
所以我想我完蛋了
Dashlane premium even comes with a VPN.
Dashlane会员甚至附带VPN
So now you can take full advantage of unsecured Wi-Fi
所以你现在可以尽情使用不安全的WiFi
without your Neopets ever falling into the greasy hands
而不会让你的尼奥宠物账号落入到
of the lowlifes that Comfort Inn.
旅店低贱而油腻的手中
So please go to dashlane.com/salmonella to
所以现在请访问dashlane.com/salmonella
try Dashlane for free today.
去免费使用Dashlane吧
Also the first 200 people to use promo code Samonella
还有前200名使用优惠码Samonella的人
will get 10% Dashlane premium.
将会获得Dashlane会员的9折优惠
That’s all for today until next time.
以上就是今天所有的内容了 我们下次见
I’m Salmonella and thank you for watching!
我是Salmonella感谢您的观看
Gage was a 25-year-old railroad worker.
Gage是个25岁的工路铁人(口误)
Whale war with weirwood who did that.
与威尔伍德的鲸鱼战争做到了这一点(口误)

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视频概述

你敢信有人少半个大脑还能活吗?你敢信有人能在半身不遂的情况下,在野生动物遍地的非洲丛林独自生存一天一夜吗?

听录译者

Felicity

翻译译者

钉子酷咸鱼

审核员

审核员BY

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lfGeJHksykI

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