狗是有喜好的
Dogs have interests.
它们喜欢相互嗅探 追逐松鼠
They have interest sniffing each other, chasing squirrels.
要是我们不把它们的喜好作为训练过程中的奖赏
And if we don’t make that a reward in training,
那这些喜好就会让它们分心
that will be a distraction.
这样的一个想法常使我震撼
It’s always sort of struck me as really a scary thought
如果公园里有一只狗
that if you see a dog in a park,
它的主人在叫它主人说：
and the owner is calling it,
“狗狗 过来 来这儿 ”
and the owner says, you know,”Puppy, come here, come here,”
狗心想：“嗯
and the dog thinks,”Hmm, interesting.
有意思 我正在嗅另一只狗的屁股 主人也在喊我
I’m sniffing this other dog’s rear end, the owner’s calling.”
这真是为难我 ”
It’s a difficult choice, right?
是吧？屁股 主人 —— （当然）屁股赢了
Rear end, owner. Rear end wins.
是的 你输了
I mean, you lose.
要是你是一只青春期的狗
You cannot compete with the environment,
你是没法和环境抗衡的
if you have an adolescent dog’s brain.
所以 当我们训练狗的时候 我们一直试图
So, when we train, we’re always trying to take into account
站在狗的角度思考
the dog’s point of view. Now,
今天我在这里（演讲）主要是因为
I’m here largely because there’s kind
目前对狗的训练方法中存在分歧
of a rift in dog training at the moment
——一方面
that — on one side,
有这样一些人
we have people who think that you train a dog,
认为训练狗首先要制定规矩
number one, by making up rules, human rules.
人类的规矩我们不考虑狗是怎么想的
We don’t take the dog’s point of view into account.
所以这些人会说：“你要这么做 该死的（狗）
So the human says,”You’re going to act this way, damn it.
我们要强迫你去做违背你意愿的事情
We’re going to force you to act against your will,
要屈从于我们的意愿 ”
to bend to our will.” Then,
第二 我们这些规矩对狗来说是保密的
number two, we keep these rules a secret from the dog.
第三 我们可以惩罚狗
And then number three, now we can punish the dog
如果它违反了它根本就不知道的规矩
for breaking rules he didn’t even know existed.
如果你有一只小狗 它奔向你
So you get a little puppy, he comes.
——它唯一的错就是它长大了
His only crime is he grew.
当它还是个小狗的时候
When he was a little puppy,
它把爪子放到你腿上
he puts his paws on your leg —
你感觉很好吧？
you know, isn’t that nice?
你会说:“哦 好孩子 ”
And you go,”Oh, there’s a good boy.”
你弯下腰 轻轻拍它 作为对它跳跃的一种奖励
You bend down, you pat him — you reward him for jumping up.
它的错误在于它是一只藏獒
His one mistake is he’s a Tibetan mastiff,
几个月后
and a few months later,
它的体重增加到80磅（约73斤）
he weighs, you know, 80 pounds.
每次它跳起来 它都会受到责骂
Every time he jumps up, he gets all sorts of abuse.
对狗来说遭受到这些
I mean, it is really very,
责骂是非常非常可怕的
very scary the abuse that dogs get. So,
有关（人对狗的）控制的问题
this whole dominance issue — number one,
我们对狗的训练是把（对狗来说）非常复杂的社会性系统
what we get in dog training is this Mickey-Mouse interpretation
当作米老鼠动画一样来草草对待
of a very complicated social system.
但是狗们把这个看的非常重要
And they take this stuff seriously.
公狗非常重视等级 因为可以避免争斗
Male dogs are very serious about a hierarchy, because it prevents physical fights.
当然 另一方面
Of course, female dogs, bitches, on the other hand,
和母狗们之间的规则是在公狗的等级制度之外的
have several bitch amendments to male hierarchical rule.
第一原则是：“我有 你没有”
The number one is,”I have it, you don’t.”
你会发现 一只非常非常低等级的母狗
And what you will find is a very, very low-ranking bitch
能叼着一块骨头 不让高等级公狗拿到
will quite easily keep a bone away from a high-ranking male.
所以 我们在狗的训练中引入这个等级概念
So, we get in dog training this notion of dominances,
也就是阿尔法狗（头号狗）
or of the alpha dog.
你一定听说过 狗经常被虐待
I’m sure that you’ve heard this. Dogs get so abused.
狗 马和人
Dogs, horses and humans —
—— 这是三个受虐物种
these are the three species which are so abused in life.
原因是在于他们的天生的行为习惯就是
And the reason is built into their behavior —
永远会回头来道歉
is to always come back and apologize.
比如：“哦 抱歉你还得打我 真的很抱歉 这是我的错 ”
Like,”Oh, I’m sorry you had to beat me. I’m really sorry, yes, it’s my fault.”
他们这么经打 这就是他们挨打的原因
They are just so beatable, and that’s why they get beaten.
可怜的小狗跳起来
The poor puppy jumps up,
你打开关于狗的书 看看书里说什么呐？
you open the dog book, what does it say?
“抓住它的前爪 使劲捏它的前爪
“Hold his front paws, squeeze his front paws,
踩住它的后腿
stamp on his hind feet,
朝它脸上洒柠檬汁
squirt him in the face with lemon juice,
用报纸卷打它的头
hit him on the head with a rolled-up newspaper,
用膝盖压住它的胸部 使它做后转翻 ”
knee him in the chest, flip him over backwards.”
就是因为它长大了？
Because he grew?
是因为它正在做一个你已经训练过它的动作？
And because he’s performing a behavior you’ve trained him to do?
这真是不讲理
This is insanity.
我问狗的主人：“你希望这只狗怎么欢迎你（回家）？”
I ask owners,”Well, how would you like the dog to greet you?”
他说：“我不知道 我想应该是坐下吧”
And people say,”Well, I don’t know, to sit, I guess.”
我说：“那让我们教它坐下 ”
I said,”Let’s teach him to sit.”
然后我们给它一个坐下的理由
And then we give him a reason for sitting.
因为第一阶段
Because the first stage
是教给狗它的第二语言
is basically teaching a dog ESL.
我可以对你说：“Laytay-chai paisey paisey ”（斯瓦希里语言）
I could speak to you and say,”Laytay-chai, paisey, paisey.”
（然后期待）接下来 应该有些反应
Go on, something should happen now.
你为什么没有反应？哦 你不懂斯瓦希里语
Why aren’t you responding? Oh, you don’t speak Swahili. Well,
好吧 那我告诉你
I’ve got news for you.
狗也不懂什么英语 美语 西班牙语或者法语
The dog doesn’t speak English, or American, or Spanish, or French.
所以培训第一阶段
So the first stage
是让狗学习“第二语言”
in training is to teach the dog ESL,
——英语就是它的第二语言
English as a second language.
这就关系到我们怎么用手里的食物来引导
And that’s how we use the food lure in the hand,
我们用食物因为我们和狗主人打交道
and we use food because we’re dealing with owners.
我妻子不需要食物
My wife doesn’t need food —
她是个好的训狗师
she’s a great trainer, much better than I am.
比我好多了我不需要食物 但是一般水平的狗主人说
I don’t need food, but the average owner says,
“狗狗 坐下 ”
“Puppy, sit.”
或者一边说：“坐下 坐下 坐下 ”
Or they go,”Sit, sit, sit.”
同时他们在狗屁股前用
They’re making a hand signal in front
手势大打出信号
of the dog’s rectum for some reason,
好像狗那里有第三只眼睛 这没用
like the dog has a third eye there — it’s insane.
（光说）“坐下 坐下” 没用
You know,”Sit, sit.” No,
我们说 “狗狗 坐” （然后给点吃的 ） 狗狗6-10次之后就学会了
we go,”Puppy, sit” — boom, it’s got it in six to 10 trials.
然后我们再逐步取消食物的引导
Then we phase out the food as a lure,
现在狗知道了 “坐下”的意思是坐下
and now the dog knows that”sit” means sit,
你甚至可以用完美的英语句子跟狗沟通
and you can actually communicate to a dog in a perfectly constructed English sentence.
“Phoenix 过来这儿 请把这个拿过去给Jamie ”
“Phoenix, come here, take this, and go to Jamie, please.”
如果我已经教会了它“Phoenix”（狗的名字） “过来” “拿这个””去”
And I’ve taught her”Phoenix,””come here,””take this,””go to”
以及我儿子的名字“Jamie”
and the name of my son,”Jamie.”
狗会记住这些
And the dog can take a note,
它能成为我的小搜救犬
and I’ve got my own little search-and-rescue dog.
它可以找到Jamie 不论Jamie在哪里
He’ll find Jamie wherever he is, you know,
不论孩子是在溪边玩石头还是什么的 还能带信息给他
wherever kids are, crushing rocks by a stream or something, and take him a little message that says,
比如“嘿 晚饭好了 进来吃饭了”之类的
“Hey, dinner’s ready. Come in for dinner.” So,
所以 在这个角度上
at this point,
狗能理解我们想要它做什么
the dog knows what we want it to do.
（问题是）它愿意做么？
Will it do it?
不一定
Not necessarily, no.
像我前面说的 如果它在公园里 有其他的狗屁股可以嗅
if he’s in the park and there’s a rear end to sniff,
它为什么要到主人这里来？
why come to the owner?
狗跟你住在一起 它随时可以来找你
The dog lives with you, the dog can get you any time.
如果你愿意 狗想嗅你的时候也可以
The dog can sniff your butt, if you like,
嗅你的屁股
when he wants to.
在这一刻 它在公园里
At the moment, he’s in the park,
而你在和 其他气味 其他狗 和松鼠们竞争 （你肯定赢不了 ）
and you are competing with smells, and other dogs, and squirrels.
所以训练第二阶段
So the second stage
就是教给狗去自愿地做
in training is to teach the dog to want to do
那些我们想要它去做的事情 这其实很简单
what we want him to do, and this is very easy.
我们采用普雷马克原理 简单说
We use the Premack principle. Basically,
当狗作一个一个低频行为 —— 一个狗通常不会做的行为
we follow a low-frequency behavior — one the
—— 我们马上让它作一个高频行为
dog doesn’t want to do — by a high-frequency behavior,
通常被称做“行为问题”
commonly known as a behavior problem,
或者“狗的爱好” –狗确实喜欢做的事情
or a dog hobby — something the dog does like to do.
这是让狗做这个低频行为的奖励
That will then become a reward for the lower-frequency behavior.
比如说（我们让它）“坐” （它照作了 就可以允许它）到沙发上来；“坐” 它照作了 就可以）挠挠它的肚皮；
So we go,”sit,” on the couch;”sit,” tummy-rub;”sit,” look,
“坐”（它照作了 就可以）让一个球给它；“坐” （它照作了 就可以）让它跟其它狗打个招呼
I throw a tennis ball;”sit,” say hello to that other dog.
是的 我们把让狗“嗅屁股”也作为一个奖励
Yes, we put”sniff butt” on queue.
“坐”（它照作了 就可以跑去）嗅屁股
“Sit,” sniff butt.
所有这些跟我们训练目标相反的 分散狗注意力的事情
So now all of these distractions that worked against training
都成为了对狗训练中的奖励
now become rewards that work for training.
我们现在做的
And what we’re doing,
本质上说 是在教狗 也有点像
in essence, is we’re teaching the dog, kind of like —
——我们让狗认为 狗在训练我们
we’re letting the dog think that the dog is training us.
我能想象的出 这只狗 透过围栏给它的Akita狗朋友（日本秋田犬）说
And I can imagine this dog, you know, speaking through the fence to, say, an Akita, saying,
“哇 训练我的主人太容易了！
“Wow, my owners, they are so incredibly easy to train.
他们就像金毛寻猎犬
They’re like Golden Retrievers.
我只需要坐下来 他们就会（为我）做事情
All I have to do is sit, and they do everything.
他们（为我）开门 开车带我出去
They open doors, they drive my car, they massage me,
给我做按摩他们会扔网球给我
they will throw tennis balls,
他们会给我做饭 然后还把食物端过来
they will cook for me and serve the food.
就像这样 我只要一坐下 我就在发号施令了
It’s like, if I just sit, that’s my command.
然后 我就有了私人门卫 私人司机
Then I have my own personal doorman, chauffeur, masseuse,
按摩师 厨师和侍者 ”
chef and waiter.”
现在狗也真的很开心
And now the dog’s really happy.
这就是我说的训练
And this, to me, is always what training is.
我们在激励狗去做想做的
So we really motivate the dog to want to do it,
这样就不怎么需要惩罚
such that the need for punishment seldom comes up.
现在我们开始第三阶段
Now we move to phase three, when now —
总会有些时候（你希望狗无条件地服从） 你明白 那种“爸爸最知道”的时候
there’s times, you know, when daddy knows best.
我的冰箱上有个
And I have a little sign
小标签写着：
on my fridge, and it says,
“因为我是老爸 这就是原因 ”
“Because I’m the daddy, that’s why.”
抱歉 不做过多解释 —— “我是老爸 你不是 坐下 ”
Sorry, no more explanation.”I’m the daddy, you’re not. Sit.”
或者有些时候 —— 比如
And there’s times, for example,
我儿子的朋友没有随手关门
if my son’s friends leave the door open,
狗必须知道“你不能跨出门去”
the dogs have to know you don’t step across this line.
这是生死攸关的事情
This is a life-or-death thing.
你离了这不可侵犯的房子
You leave this, the sanctity of your house,
你在大街上可能被车撞
and you could be hit on the street.
所以有些事情我们必须让狗知道
So some things we have to let the dog know,
“你绝对不能这么做 ”
“You mustn’t do this.”
所以我们必须强迫 但是不能用暴力
And so we have to enforce, but without force.
人们对什么是惩罚很糊涂
People here get very confused about what a punishment is.
他们认为惩罚必须非常暴力
They think a punishment is something nasty.
我打赌你也是这样想的
I bet a lot of you do, right?
对吗？你认为惩罚是痛苦的 可怕的或者暴力的
You think it’s something painful, or scary, or nasty.
其实不一定
It doesn’t have to be.
惩罚有几种定义
There’s several definitions of what a punishment is,
但是最常见的一种定义是
but one definition, the most popular, is:
惩罚是能减少前面刚刚发生的行为的一种刺激
a punishment is a stimulus that reduces the immediately preceding behavior,
使得未来减少这种行为发生的可能性
such that it’s less likely to occur in the future.
惩罚不一定是暴力的 令人害怕的或者痛苦的要我说
It does not have to be nasty, scary or painful.
如果惩罚不是一定要这样
And I would say, if it doesn’t have to be,
那么惩罚就不应该是这样
then maybe it shouldn’t be.
一年前我曾经接触过一只非常危险的狗——
I was working with a very dangerous dog about a year ago.
这只狗把它的两个
And this was a dog that
主人“送”进了医院
put both his owners in hospital,
还伤了主人的姐夫和孩子
plus the brother-in-law, plus the child.
狗主人保证让它只呆在
And I only agreed to work with it
他们的房子里不会带出来
if they promised it would stay in their house,
我才答应训练这只狗
and they never took it outside.
这只狗现在已经被安乐死了
The dog is actually euthanized now,
但是我曾经训练这只狗相当一段时间
but this was a dog I worked with for a while.
在厨房里这只狗常表现出很多攻击性行为
A lot of the aggression happened around the kitchen,
所以当我在那里的时候
so while I was there —
-那是我第四次去拜访-
this was on the fourth visit —
我们整整四个半小时坐着不动
we did a four and a half hour down-stay,
狗就坐在（厨房里）它的垫子上
with the dog on his mat.
狗主人命令狗保持不能动
And he was kept there by the owner’s calm insistence.
每当狗试图离开垫子她就说：
When the dog would try to leave the mat,
“Rover 呆在垫子上 呆在垫子上 呆在垫子上 ”
she would say,”Rover, on the mat, on the mat, on the mat.”
她做晚饭的时候 在这4个半小时里 狗曾22次打破
The dog broke his down-stay 22 times in four and a half hours,
“坐等”的命令
while she cooked dinner,
因为它对食物一直有“攻击性行为”
because we had a lot of aggression related towards food.
（当我们训练时）狗违背命令次数越来越少你看
The breaks got fewer and fewer.
惩罚正在发挥作用
You see, the punishment was working.
行为问题已经不见了
The behavior problem was going away.
她并没有提高嗓门
She never raised her voice.
如果她大声命令 狗就可能咬她
If she did, she would have got bitten.
这并不是一个你可以朝它大喊的好狗
It’s not a good dog you shout at.
我很多朋友训练过很好的狗—
And a lot of my friends train really neat animals,
比如灰熊 如果你曾经在电视或电影看到过灰熊
grizzly bears — if you’ve ever seen a grizzly bear
它是我一个
on the telly or in film,
朋友训练的
then it’s a friend of mine who’s trained it —
虎鲸—我爱极了它
killer whales. I love it because it wires you up.
你准备怎样去惩戒一只灰熊？
How are you going to reprimand a grizzly bear?
“坏熊 坏熊！”
“Bad bear, bad bear!” Voom!
轰！你的头颅 划过长空
Your head now is 100 yards away,
落在百米开外
sailing through the air, OK?
对吧？
This is crazy. So,
这是疯狂的
where do we go from here?
那么 我们怎么办？我们想要一个更好的方法
We want a better way.
我们应该对狗们更好些
Dogs deserve better.
但是对我来说 这么做是为了狗
But for me, the reason for this actually has to do with dogs.
这是在驯狗课上看人们训练小狗时
It has to do with watching people train puppies,
在意识到它们和主人间不得了的互动能力
and realizing they have horrendous interaction skills,
和主人间不得了的亲密联系时有感而生的
horrendous relationship skills.
狗不光是和主人（有这种互动和亲密联系）
Not just with their puppy,
和主人的家庭成员也一样（有）
but with the rest of the family at class.
我的意思是 我常用的的是另一种意义上的“过来”的命令
I mean, my all-time classic is another”come here” one.
你看到公园里某个狗的主人
You see someone in the park —
-我会掩上我的麦克风说
and I’ll cover my mic when I say this,
因为我不想惊扰你
because I don’t want to wake you up —
— 主人在公园里
and there’s the owner in the park,
他们的狗在那边 他们喊：
and their dog’s over here, and they say,”Rover, come here. Rover,
“Rover 过来Rover 过来 Rover 过来 你个狗娘养的 ”
come here. Rover, come here, you son of a bitch.”
而狗说：“我不这么认为 ”
The dog says,”I don’t think so.”
（笑）
(Laughter)
我的意思是
I mean, who in their right mind
哪些正常人会认为当他们那样怒吼时
would think that a dog would want to approach them
狗会愿意接近他们？
when they’re screaming like that? Instead,
相反的 狗会说：“我知道那个语调 我知道那个语调
the dog says,”I know that tone. I know that tone. Previously,
上次（他用那个语调）而我过去的时候 我受到了惩罚 ”
when I’ve approached, I’ve gotten punished there.”
有一回我正在登机
I was walking onto a plane — this,
—— 对我来说 那是我职业生涯的重要时刻
for me, was a pivotal moment in my career,
因为那一刻我决定了在驯狗这件事上
and it really cemented what I wanted to do
我的宗旨 —— 这个“如何用友善的方式
with this whole puppy-training thing, the notion of
来训练狗做我们希望的事”的概念
how to teach puppies in a dog-friendly way
这样我们就不需要强迫狗
to want to do what we want to do,
你知道
so we don’t have to force them.
我用驯狗的方式“驯”我的孩子
You know, I puppy-train my child.
在那个开创性的时刻
And the seminal moment was,
我在飞往达拉斯的飞机上
I was getting on a plane in Dallas,
在第二排坐着一位父亲
and in row two was a father, I presume,
和一个大约五岁的男孩
and a young boy about five,
男孩踢椅子背
kicking the back of the chair. “Johnny,
（那个父亲说：）“Jonny 不要这样 ”
don’t do that.” Kick,
(孩子还是）踢 踢 踢
kick, kick. “Johnny,
“Jonny 不许踢 ”（孩子还是）踢 踢
don’t do that.” Kick, kick, kick.
踢我就带着我的行李站在那里
I’m standing right here with my bag.
那个父亲俯下身 这样抓住男孩
The father leans over, grabs him like this and gives him ugly face.
面色难看脸色难看是这样的——
And ugly face is this —
当你和一只狗或者一个孩子面对面你说：
when you go face-to-face with a puppy or a child,
“你在干什么！现在就停下来 停 停！”
you say,”What are you doing! Now stop it, stop it, stop it!”
然后我走过去：“哦 天呢 我能做点什么？”
And I went,”Oh my God, do I do something?”
那个男孩已经懵了——
That child has lost everything —
这个世界上他能信任的
that one of the two people
两人中之一（指他父亲）
he can trust in this world
已经彻底”抛弃“他了
has absolutely pulled the rug from under his feet.
我在想：“我要告诉这个蠢人不要这样做吗？”
And I thought,”Do I tell this jerk to quit it?”
我想：“甭管了 不管了 走吧 ”
I thought,”Ian, stay out of it, stay out of it, you know, walk on.”
我走到飞机后舱
I walked to the back of the plane,
我坐下来
I sat down, and a thought came to me.
忽然想到如果刚才那个场面是对一只狗 我会去把他撂倒
If that had been a dog, I would have laid him out.
（笑）
(Laughter)
如果他踢了一只狗 我会给他一拳
If he had kicked a dog, I would have punched him out.
他吓了一个孩子
He kicked a child,
这样抓住孩子 我却放任不管
grabs the child like this and I let it go.
这就是我想说的
And this is what it’s all about.
这些人际关系的技巧非常简单 （对狗和人都一样 ）
These relationship skills are so easy.
我们作为人
I mean, we as humans,
我们寻找人生伴侣是浅薄的
our shallowness when we choose a life-mate
就基于三点
based on the three Cs — coat color, conformation, cuteness.
肤色 体型和外貌 你看 有点像小机器人
You know, kind of like a little robot.
我们就这样开始了我们的爱情
This is how we go into a relationship,
很棒的过了大概一年
and it’s hunky-dory for a year.
接下来行为问题就出现了
And then, a little behavior problem comes up.
跟狗长大了开始叫没什么不同
No different from the dog barking.
丈夫不清理衣物
The husband won’t clear up his clothes,
妻子约会总迟到 诸如此类的
or the wife’s always late for meetings, whatever it is, OK?
对吧？这就开始啦 我们就开始（有反应）了
And it then starts, and we get into this thing,
我们主观的个人反馈 —— 这个问题有两方面
and our personal feedback — there’s two things about it.
当你观察人和狗或者人和人之间的互动
When you watch people interacting with animals or other people,
一个是太少反馈 太少了
there is very little feedback, it’s too infrequent.
（第二个是）当一旦有反馈时 （这些反馈又是）非常糟糕的 非常暴力的
And when it happens, it’s bad, it’s nasty.
尤其是发生在家庭中 发生在配偶之间
You see it’s especially in families, especially with spouses,
发生在孩子和父母之间
especially with children, especially with parents.
在工作场合你也能看到这种情况 特别是老板对待员工
You see it especially in the workplace, especially from boss to employee.
说起来有点幸灾乐祸的味道
It’s as if there’s some schadenfreude there,
——我们实际上以别人犯错为乐
that we actually take delight in people getting things wrong,
这样我们才能悲叹 抱怨和辱骂他们这个
so that we can then moan and groan and bitch at them.
依我看
And this, I would say,
是我们人类最大的弱点
is the biggest human foible that we have.
真的是这样
It really is.
我们认为好的是理所当然
We take the good for granted,
悲叹和抱怨不好的
and we moan and groan at the bad.
我认为这个（奖励好的行为的）概念 这个处理所有人际关系的技巧 应该（在学校里）教
And I think this whole notion of these skills should be taught.
——当然 （通常在学校里教的那些课 比如）微积分是非常棒的
You know, calculus is wonderful.
我是个算数神童
When I was a kid, I was a calculus whiz.
我现在不行了 但是我小时候
I don’t understand a thing about it now,
可以做得很好
but I could do it as a kid. Geometry,
（再比如）几何 棒极了 量子力学
fantastic. You know, quantum mechanics —
——这些都很酷
these are cool things.
但是这些课不能（帮你）挽救婚姻 不能培养孩子
But they don’t save marriages and they don’t raise children.
我对未来的展望是
And my look to the future is,
我想做的整个
and what I want to do
“狗事情”就是要告诉大家
with this doggy stuff, is to teach people
驯夫其实很容易
that you know, your husband’s just as easy to train.
可能更容易些 —— 要是你有一只狗像Rotty（上面提到的难驯的狗）那样 （你的丈夫）驯起来要容易得多
Probably easier — if you got a Rottie — much easier to train.
你的孩子们也容易驯
Your kids are easy to train.
你所要做的就是观察他们 定时观察（他们的）行为 比如
All you’ve got to do is to watch them, to time-sample the behavior, and say, every five minutes,
每隔五分钟你问自己：“（他们的表现）是好 还是坏？”
you ask the question,”Is it good, or is it bad?”
如果他们表现好 你就（对他们）说：“（你做的）非常好 谢谢 ”
If it’s good, say,”That was really neat, thank you.”
这是一个非常强大的训练技巧
That is such a powerful training technique.
我们应该在学校里教（学生这个技巧）
This should be taught in schools.
人际关系 ——
Relationships — how do you negotiate?
你如何沟通？你该如何跟一个想要你的玩具的朋友沟通？
How you do negotiate with your friend who wants your toy?
你该怎么准备你的第一段感情？
You know, how to prepare you for your first relationship?
究竟应该如何抚养孩子？
How on earth about raising children?
我们觉得我们知道怎么做 —— 结果有一晚上 我们怀孕了
We think how we do it — one night in bed, we’re pregnant,
然后我们就要抚养生命中最重要的东西 ——
and then we’re raising the most important thing in life, a child. No,
孩子这种（用奖励来加强好的习惯的）沟通技巧大家都应该学
this is what should be taught —
—— 好的生活方式
the good living, the good habits,
好的习惯就像坏习惯一样难以改变这
which are just as hard to break as bad habits. So,
就是我对未来的希望啊
that would be my wish to the future. Ah,
见鬼 我想要准时结束（我的演讲）
damn, I wanted to end exactly on time,
但我还有8秒 7 6 5
but I got eight, seven, six, five,
4 3 2
four, three, two —
——谢谢大家 我的演讲到此结束
so thank you very much. That’s my talk, thank you.
谢谢掌声
(Applause)