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我给了僵尸一拳

I Punched A Zombie!

《故事舱》真实故事改编
Halloween was literally right around the corner,
万圣节马上就要来了
and my best friend, at the time, her birthday was coming up,
正好我好朋友的生日也快到了
and her mom told her that she could invite a friend to the haunted forest.
她妈妈告诉她可以邀请一个朋友去闹鬼森林
And she asked me if I wanted to go with her.
她问我是否想不想跟她一起去
I was super excited because I had never been to a haunted forest before,
我超激动 因为我从来没有去过闹鬼森林
but then again,
但话又说回来
I’m a really jumpy person, so I didn’t know how it was going to go.
我胆子很小 所以我不知道会发生什么
So we drive there, we pay to get in
然后我们开车去了那 买完票就进去了
and we’re walking,
我们慢慢走进去
and for the first few minutes,
刚开始的时候
everything’s silent,
周围都很安静
it’s just dark, there’s some smoke on the ground,
只是有点黑 地上有些烟雾
it’s pretty good, I like the effects.
挺好的 我喜欢这些特效
And then, around one corner,
然后 就在一个拐角处
people, like, jump out at us
突然有人跳了出来
and people grab us from below.
还有人从地下伸出手要抓我们
Well, they don’t actually grab us,
他们其实没有真的要抓我们
they just, like, swipe and you can see it and
只是你能看见他们的手挥来挥去
it freaks you out and you jump and scream.
这可把我吓坏了 边跳边叫
And my friend jumps and screams
我朋友也是边跳边叫
and then starts laughing.
然后又开始大笑
And in my head, I’m just freaking out
但我心里其实特别害怕
and my heart’s racing
心怦怦跳个不停
and it was not a good time.
那感觉还挺不好的
So we turned a corner about halfway through the maze
然后差不多在走了一半时有个拐角
and this guy dressed as a werewolf pops out and, like, scares us.
有个扮成狼人的人突然跳出来吓我们
And my friend, she’s scared,
我朋友被吓到了
but then she looks at him and goes,
但是她又看向他说
“Oh can I get a selfie with you, like, you’re so cute,”
“噢你好可爱 我可以跟你合张影吗”
and, like, starts flirting with this guy. And
然后开始撩他
he’s letting her flirt and he’s flirting back,
他也不抗拒并且还反撩我朋友
and I’m just sitting there going,
我就在旁边站着
“Oh my gosh,”
心里想着“我的天呐”
and I don’t want to be here for that.
我并不想在那里看他们调情
So I kind of walk ahead, just like, “I’ll catch up with you later!”
所以我说完“等下见”就独自往前走了
So I continued walking
然后我继续走
and I turned a few more corners
拐了几个弯
jumping because I feel like something’s gonna pop out at me
时不时跳起来生怕有东西钻出来吓我
cause my heart is literally still pounding inside of my chest.
因为我的心脏还是在砰砰跳
But when nothing happens I’m like,
但当我发现周围很安全时
“Oh okay, cool, maybe I’ll be in the safe zone for a little bit.”
“噢太好了 或许我是在安全区了”
Yeah, big mistake.
如你所料 大错特错
I turned another corner a bit too close
我转过某个拐角时离得太近了
guy dressed like a zombie or something
一个扮成僵尸之类的东西的人
jumps out and scares me.
突然蹦出来吓我
And he was way closer than he was supposed to be
他实在是靠我太近了
and of course I scream, I got scared.
毫无疑问我开始大叫 我快吓死了
But I didn’t just scream.
但还不止尖叫
I screamed
我尖叫
and because he was close
但因为他离我太近了
and some survival instinct came in,
出于某种求生的本能
I punched him in the face.
我朝他脸上给了一拳
And his nose started bleeding
然后他就流鼻血了
and he had a big red mark on his head
额头上也留下一个很大的红印子
and I felt so bad.
我觉得非常抱歉
I started apologizing
就开始道歉
and frantically, like, trying to help him up,
手忙脚乱地 想要把他扶起来
but he pushed me away because,
但是不让我碰他
he was afraid I was gonna beat him up or something.
可能是因为怕我还要打他之类的
So my friend comes over and
然后我朋友过来了
she starts laughing at this guy who’s in pain,
她开始对着这个还在忍受疼痛的男生大笑
and she was not helpful at all during this
于是她把情况变得更糟了
because she just thought this entire thing was a big hilarious joke,
因为她觉得整件事情就是个滑稽的大笑话
which it was definitely not.
但完全不是
So he calls over the manager
那个男生把经理叫了过来
and I’m super embarrassed
我巨尴尬
and I feel really bad
又巨内疚
and the manager tells me
那个经理跟我说
that they’re not going to press charges as long as I leave and never ever ever come back
只要我离开并再也不来了她就不会指控我
So we had to walk through the rest of it
我们不得不走完后半程
and they wouldn’t even, like, let us finish the experience
但他们甚至都不让我们体验完
because they didn’t want me quote-unquote harassing their staff members.
因为他们不想让我“骚扰他们的员工”
So I guess I will never ever get to go to the haunted forest again.
我猜我以后应该再也不会去闹鬼森林了
So, yeah. If you ever have a scary haunted forest experience,
所以 如果你哪次在闹鬼森林里被吓到了
try not to punch anyone in the face.
尽量别给别人一拳

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译制信息
视频概述

僵尸吓我 我打僵尸

听录译者

收集自网络

翻译译者

西西鸭💎(已黑化)

审核员

审核员 AF

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9TDRlpvGJGA

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