Hello, TEDWomen, what’s up?
哈啰 TED的女同胞们 近来可好？
Not good enough.
再大点声
Hello, TEDWomen, what is up?
哈啰 TED的女同胞们 近来可好？
My name is Maysoon Zayid,
我叫梅逊·扎伊德
and I am not drunk, but the doctor who delivered me was.
我没有喝醉 但给我接生的医生却喝醉了
He cut my mom six different times in six different directions,
他从六个不同方向 在我妈妈的肚皮上切了六次
suffocating poor little me in the process.
在这个过程中 可怜的我差点窒息
As a result, I have cerebral palsy,
就这样 我患上了脑瘫
which means I shake all the time. Look.
意味着我会不停地颤抖 你们看
It’s exhausting.
真是累坏我了
I’m like Shakira, Shakira meets Muhammad Ali.
我就像夏奇拉一样 夏奇拉遇到了穆罕默德·阿里
CP is not genetic.
脑瘫不会遗传
It’s not a birth defect. You can’t catch it.
它不是生来就有的缺陷 你根本无法预料
No one put a curse on my mother’s uterus,
没有人诅咒我妈妈的子宫
and I didn’t get it because my parents are first cousins,
也不是因为父母是表兄妹 我才得这个病
which they are.
他们确实是表兄妹
It only happens from accidents,
患上脑瘫只是个意外
like what happened to me on my birth day.
就像我出生那天发生的事情一样
Now, I must warn you,
现在 我必须提醒你们
I’m not inspirational.
我可不是什么励志人物
And I don’t want anyone in this room to feel bad for me,
也不想要这间屋子里的人为我感到难过
because at some point in your life,
因为在你人生的某些时刻
you have dreamt of being disabled.
你会希望自己有点儿残疾
Come on a journey with me.
和我一起来看看吧
It’s Christmas Eve, you’re at the mall,
圣诞前夜 你们在购物中心
you’re driving around in circles looking for parking,
开车转圈寻找着停车的地方
and what do you see?
然而你们看到了什么？
Sixteen empty handicapped spaces.
16个空的残疾人停车位
And you’re like, “God, can’t I just be a little disabled?”
你会说：“天哪 我怎么就不能有点残疾？”
Also, I’ve got to tell you,
而且我想要告诉你们
I’ve got 99 problems, and palsy is just one.
我有99个麻烦 脑瘫只是其中一个
If there was an Oppression Olympics,
如果有受压迫奥运会的话
I would win the gold medal.
我肯定会赢得金牌
I’m Palestinian, Muslim,
我是巴勒斯坦人 穆斯林
I’m female, I’m disabled,
我是女性 也是残疾人
and I live in New Jersey.
还有 我住在新泽西
If you don’t feel better about yourself, maybe you should.
如果你自我感觉不太好的话 现在可能好一点了
Cliffside Park, New Jersey is my hometown.
我的家乡在新泽西州的克利夫赛德帕克
I have always loved the fact
我一直都喜欢这个事实
that my hood and my affliction share the same initials.
我的家乡和脑瘫有着相同的首字母
I also love the fact that if I wanted to walk from my house to New York City,
也喜欢我可以从家里步行到纽约这个事实
A lot of people with CP don’t walk,
许多脑瘫患者都走不了路
but my parents didn’t believe in “can’t.”
但我父母的字典里没有“不能”两字
My father’s mantra was,
我父亲的口头禅就是
“You can do it, yes you can can.”
“你可以做到 是的 你可以”
So, if my three older sisters were mopping,
所以如果我的三个姐姐在拖地
I was mopping.
我也要拖地
If my three older sisters went to public school,
如果我的三个姐姐去公立学校上学
my parents would sue the school system and guarantee that I went too,
父母会起诉学校 确保我也能去
and if we didn’t all get A’s, we all got my mother’s slipper.
如果我们的成绩不全是A 妈妈就会拿拖鞋揍我们
My father taught me how to walk when I was five years old
在我五岁的时候 爸爸开始教我走路
by placing my heels on his feet and just walking.
把我的脚后跟放在他的脚上 就这样走
Another tactic that he used is
他用的另一个策略就是
he would dangle a dollar bill in front of me
拿张一美元钞票在我面前晃来晃去
and have me chase it.
诱使我去追它
My inner stripper was very strong.
那时我跳脱衣舞的欲望非常强烈
Yeah.
的确如此
No, by the first day of kindergarten,
从上幼儿园的第一天起
I was walking like a champ who had been punched one too many times.
我走路的样子就像一位被打了好多下的拳击冠军
Growing up, there were only six Arabs in my town,
在我成长的小镇 只有6个阿拉伯人
and they were all my family.
他们都是我的家人
Now there are 20 Arabs in town,
现在镇上已经有20个阿拉伯人了
and they are still all my family.
他们仍然都是我的家人
I don’t think anyone even noticed we weren’t Italian.
我想甚至没人注意到我们不是意大利人
This was before 9/11 and before politicians thought it was appropriate
那时911事件还没有发生 政客也没有觉得
to use “I hate Muslims” as a campaign slogan.
拿“我恨穆斯林”作为竞选口号有何不妥
The people that I grew up with had no problem with my faith.
和我一起长大的小伙伴对我的信仰也没有意见
They did, however, seem very concerned
他们确实是这样 但是似乎非常担心
that I would starve to death during Ramadan.
我会在斋月期间饿死
I would explain to them that I have enough fat
我会和他们解释 我有足够的脂肪
to live off of for three whole months,
来度过接下来的三个月
so fasting from sunrise to sunset is a piece of cake.
所以白天不吃饭对我来说就是小菜一碟
I have tap-danced on Broadway.
我曾经在百老汇跳过踢踏舞
Yeah, on Broadway. It’s crazy.
是的 在百老汇 太疯狂了
My parents couldn’t afford physical therapy,
我的父母负担不起物理疗法
so they sent me to dancing school.
所以他们把我送去了舞蹈学校
Um, I learned how to dance in heels,
我学会了如何穿着高跟鞋跳舞
which means I can walk in heels.
意味着我能穿着高跟鞋走路
And I’m from Jersey,
我来自泽西
and we are really concerned with being chic,
我们真的非常关心自己是否时髦
so if my friends wore heels, so did I.
如果我的朋友们穿了高跟鞋 我也会穿
And when my friends went and spent their summer vacations
而当我的朋友们去泽西海滨度暑假时
on the Jersey Shore, I did not.
我却不会去
I spent my summers in a war zone,
我要在一个战争地带度过我的暑假
because my parents were afraid that
因为我的父母都非常害怕
if we didn’t go back to Palestine every single summer,
如果有哪一年暑假不回巴勒斯坦
we’d grow up to be Madonna.
我们长大后就会成为麦当娜
Summer vacations often consisted of my father trying to heal me,
每个暑假 我父亲都会尝试帮我治疗脑瘫
so I drank deer’s milk,
所以我喝过鹿奶
I had hot cups on my back,
在背上放过滚烫的杯子
I was dunked in the Dead Sea,
把我浸泡在死海中
and I remember the water burning my eyes
我还记得海水烧伤了我的眼睛
and thinking, “It’s working! It’s working!”
我心想：“奏效了！奏效了！”
But one miracle cure we did find was yoga.
我们最终发现 瑜伽是唯一有效的治疗方法
I have to tell you, it’s very boring,
我不得不说 瑜伽实在太无聊了
but before I did yoga,
但是在我练瑜伽之前
I was a stand-up comedian who can’t stand up.
我是一个无法站立的单口相声演员
And now I can stand on my head.
而现在 我都可以用脑袋倒立了
My parents reinforced this notion
我的父母强化了这个观念
that I could do anything,
即我可以做任何事情
that no dream was impossible,
没有实现不了的梦想
and my dream was to be on the daytime soap opera “General Hospital.”
我的梦想是演日间肥皂剧《综合医院》
I went to college during affirmative action
在平权行动期间 我上了大学
and got a sweet scholarship to ASU,
在ASU 亚利桑那州立大学
Arizona State University,
获得了一笔丰厚的奖学金
because I fit every single quota.
因为我符合学校的每一项要求
I was like the pet lemur of the theater department.
我就像戏剧系的一只宠物狐猴
Everybody loved me.
每个人都喜欢我
I did all the less-than-intelligent kids’ homework,
我做了所有不太聪明孩子的家庭作业
I got A’s in all of my classes,
我的每门课程成绩都是A
A’s in all of their classes.
还帮他们获得了A
Every time I did a scene from “The Glass Menagerie,”
每次我排演话剧《玻璃动物园》
my professors would weep.
我的教授们都会落泪
But I never got cast.
但是我从未得到过一个角色
Finally, my senior year,
最终 在我大四那年
ASU decided to do a show called”They Dance Real Slow in Jackson.”
ASU决定举办一个节目 叫《在杰克逊翩翩起舞》
It’s a play about a girl with CP.
这部剧是关于一个脑瘫女孩的
I was a girl with CP.
我就是患有脑瘫的女孩啊
So I start shouting from the rooftops,
所以我在屋顶大声叫嚷
“I’m finally going to get a part!
“我终于有机会演出了！
I have cerebral palsy!
我有脑瘫！
Free at last! Free at last!
自由万岁！自由万岁！
Thank God almighty, I’m free at last!”
感谢万能的上帝！自由万岁！”
I didn’t get the part.
可我没得到这个角色
Sherry Brown got the part.
雪莉布朗得到了那个角色
I went racing to the head of the theater department
我跑到戏剧系主任那里
crying hysterically, like someone shot my cat,
哭得歇斯底里 就像有人打死了我的猫
to ask her why,
我问她为什么
and she said it was because they didn’t think I could do the stunts.
她说戏剧系认为我演不了那些动作
I said,”Excuse me, if I can’t do the stunts,
我说：“拜托 如果我做不了那些动作
neither can the character.”
那女主角就更不能”
This was a part that I was literally born to play
这是我一出生就在扮演的角色
they gave it to a non-palsy actress.
他们却把这个角色给了一个没有脑瘫的演员
College was imitating life.
大学只不过是在模仿生活而已
Hollywood has a sordid history
好莱坞有着不堪回首的历史
of casting able-bodied actors to play disabled on screen.
那就是让健全人在银幕上饰演残疾人
Upon graduating, I moved back home,
毕业后 我回到了家中
and my first acting gig was as an extra on a daytime soap opera.
我的第一个表演机会就是作为一个日间肥皂剧的临时演员
My dream was coming true.
我的梦想就要成真了
And I knew that I would be promoted
我知道自己很快将会
from “Diner Diner” to “Wacky Best Friend” in no time.
从《路边小饭馆》演到《奇葩好友》
But instead, I remained a glorified piece of furniture
但是 我仍只是一个徒有虚名的小演员
that you could only recognize from the back of my head,
你只能从我的后脑勺认出我
and it became clear to me that casting directors didn’t hire
显而易见 导演们是不会用
fluffy, ethnic, disabled actors.
那些肤浅的 少数民族的和身患残疾的演员
They only hired perfect people.
他们只会用那些完美无缺的人
But there were exceptions to the rule.
但是凡事都有例外
I grew up watching Whoopi Goldberg, Roseanne Barr, Ellen,
我是看着乌比·戈德堡 罗西尼·巴尔和艾伦长大的
and all of these women had one thing in common:
这些女人都有一个共性
they were comedians.
她们都是喜剧演员
So I became a comic.
所以我成为了一个喜剧演员
My first gig was driving famous comics
我的初次亮相是带着那些著名的喜剧演员
from New York City to shows in New Jersey,
开车从纽约市到新泽西去参加表演
and I’ll never forget the face of the first comic I ever drove
当行驶在新泽西高速公路时 我永远也忘不了我的第一位乘客
when he realized that he was speeding down the New Jersey Turnpike
当他意识到他的司机是一位患有脑瘫患的女孩时
with a chick with CP driving him.
所流露出来的表情
I’ve performed in clubs all over America,
我在全美的各种俱乐部表演过
and I’ve also performed in Arabic in the Middle East,
我也在中东用阿拉伯语表演过
uncensored and uncovered.
没有审查 也没有报道
Some people say I’m the first stand-up comic in the Arab world.
有人说我是第一个在阿拉伯世界表演的单口相声演员
I never like to claim first,
但我从来都不这么说
but I do know that they never heard
我知道他们肯定从来没有听过
that nasty little rumor that women aren’t funny,
那些荒唐的言论说女人一点也不幽默
and they find us hysterical.
他们发现我们神经过敏
In 2003, my brother from another mother and father
在2003年 我异父异母的哥哥
Dean Obeidallah and I started the New York Arab-America Comedy Festival,
Dean Obeidallah和我举办了一个活动 叫做“纽约阿裔美国人喜剧节”
now in its 10th year.
现在是第十个年头了
Our goal was to change the negative image of Arab-Americans in media,
我们的目标是改变阿裔美国人在媒体上的负面印象
while also reminding casting directors
同时也提醒那些导演们
that South Asian and Arab are not synonymous.
南亚人和阿拉伯人不一样
Mainstreaming Arabs was much, much easier
相比于战胜对残疾人的羞辱
than conquering the challenge against the stigma against disability.
阿拉伯的主流人群要好相处得多
My big break came in 2010.
我职业生涯的重大突破是在2010年
I was invited to be a guest on the cable news show
我受邀去一家有线新闻节目当嘉宾
“Countdown with Keith Olbermann.”
那档节目叫《Keith Olbermann倒计时》
I walked in looking like I was going to the prom,
我走了进去 就像是去参加舞会
and they shuffle me into a studio
他们把我拖进了演播室
and seat me on a spinning, rolling chair.
让我坐在一个不停旋转的椅子上
So I looked at the stage manager and I’m like,
我看着舞台监督 问道
”Excuse me, can I have another chair?”
“请问一下 能给我换把椅子吗？”
And she looked at me and she went,
然后她看着我 并说
“Five, four, three, two…”
“五 四 三 二……”
And we were live, right?
我们正在直播 不是吗？
So I had to grip onto the anchor’s desk
所以我只能紧紧地抓住主播台
so that I wouldn’t roll off the screen during the segment,
确保自己不会在直播期间从镜头中消失
and when the interview was over, I was livid.
访谈结束后 我简直要气炸了
I had finally gotten my chance and I blew it,
我得到了梦寐以求的机会 却又搞砸了
and I knew I would never get invited back.
我知道自己再也不会受邀了
But not only did Mr.Olbermann invite me back,
但是Olbermann先生不但把我请了回去
he made me a full-time contributor,
而且全程给我机会去讲话
and he taped down my chair.
并且用胶带把我的椅子固定住
One fun fact I learned while on the air with Keith Olbermann
在和Keith Olbermann做节目时 我学到了一件有趣的事
was that humans on the Internet are scumbags.
网络上的人类都是丑陋的
People say children are cruel,
人们常说 孩子是残忍的
but I was never made fun of as a child or an adult.
但在成长过程中 我从没有被任何孩子甚至是一个成人嘲笑过
Suddenly, my disability on the world wide web is fair game.
突然 我的残疾在网络上受到了嘲弄
I would look at clips online and see comments like,
我会在网上看一些像这样的视频剪辑和评论
“Yo, why’s she tweakin’?”
“哟 为什么她在不停地扭动身体？”
“Yo, is she retarded?”
“哟 她是弱智吗？”
And my favorite, “Poor Gumby-mouth terrorist.
我最喜欢的是 “这个可笑的恐怖分子
What does she suffer from?
她到底遭受了什么苦？
We should really pray for her.”
我们真应该为她祈祷”
One commenter even suggested that I add my disability to my credits:
某个评论者甚至建议我 把自己的残疾当作荣誉
screenwriter, comedian, palsy.
编剧 喜剧演员 脑瘫
Disability is as visual as race.
残疾如同人的肤色一样明显
If a wheelchair user can’t play Beyoncé,
如果腿脚不便的人演不了碧昂丝
then Beyoncé can’t play a wheelchair user.
那么碧昂丝也演不了坐轮椅的人
The disabled are the largest.
残疾人是最大的
Yeah, clap for that, man. Come on.
为此鼓掌吧 伙计 来吧
People with disabilities are the largest minority in the world,
残疾人是世界上最大的少数群体
and we are the most underrepresented in entertainment.
在娱乐节目中基本看不到残疾人的身影
The doctors said that I wouldn’t walk,
医生曾说我走不了路
but I am here in front of you.
但现在我就站在你们面前
However, if I grew up with social media,
然而 如果我从小伴着社交媒体长大
I don’t think I would be.
我可能就真的走不了了
I hope that together, we can create more positive images
我希望 我们能一起在媒体和日常生活中
of disability in the media and in everyday life.
为残疾人塑造更多积极的形象
Perhaps if there were more positive images,
或许通过这种方式
it would foster less hate on the Internet.
互联网上的憎恶会少一些
Or maybe not.
或许什么都没有改变
Maybe it still takes a village to teach our children well.
或许需要全村人的努力才能把我们的孩子教育好
My crooked journey has taken me to some very spectacular places.
我的坎坷经历把我带到了一些美妙的地方
I got to walk the red carpet
我和肥皂剧天后Susan Lucci
flanked by soap diva Susan Lucci and the iconic Loreen Arbus.
以及偶像Loreen Arbus 一起走过红毯
I got to act in a movie with Adam Sandler
和Adam Sandler演过电影
and work with my idol, the amazing Dave Matthews.
和我的偶像Dave Matthews一起工作
I toured the world as a headliner on Arabs Gone Wild.
作为主演 我参加《狂野的阿拉伯人》的全球巡演
I was a delegate representing the great state of New Jersey
我代表新泽西州出席了
at the 2008 DNC.
2008年的民主党全国委员会
And I founded Maysoon’s Kids,
我成立了Maysoon儿童基金会
a charity that hopes to give Palestinian refugee children
希望能给巴勒斯坦难民营的儿童一点点
a sliver of the chance my parents gave me.
当初我父母给与我的希望
But the one moment that stands out the most
但是最重要的时刻是
was when I got — before this moment —
当我将要-在此之前
But the one moment that stands out the most was
但是最重要的时刻是
when I got to perform for the man
我将要为一个人进行表演
who floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee,
他身手敏捷 出手直击要害
has Parkinson’s and shakes just like me,
他有帕金森病 像我一样不停颤抖
Muhammad Ali.
穆罕默德·阿里
It was the only time that my father ever saw me perform live,
这是我父亲唯一一次看我的直播表演
and I dedicate this talk to his memory.
我要把这个演讲献给他
［Arabic］Allah yerhamak yaba.
［阿拉伯语］Allah yerhamak yaba
［English］My name is Maysoon Zayid,
［英语］我叫梅逊·扎伊德
and if I can can, you can can.
如果我可以 你一定也行