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我不是你眼中的亚洲人 – 译学馆
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我不是你眼中的亚洲人

I Am Not Your Asian Stereotype | Canwen Xu | TEDxBoise

我叫Canwen 我会弹钢琴 拉小提琴
My name is Canwen, and I play both the piano and the violin.
未来我想成为一名医生
I aspire to some day be a doctor,
我最喜欢的科目是微积分
and my favorite subject is calculus.
我爸妈对我很严厉
My mom and dad are tiger parents,
他们不允许我在别人家过夜
who won’t let me go to sleepovers,
但为了弥补我 每天他们都
but they make up for it by serving
给我做我最爱的食物
my favorite meal every single day.
也就是米饭
Rice.
我的车技真的很烂
And I’m a really bad driver.
所以 现在我要问你们的问题是:
So my question for you now is,
你们要花多久时间才能搞清楚我是不是在开玩笑
How long did it take you to figure it out if I was joking?
[笑声]
[Laughter]
也许你们已经猜到了
As you’ve probably guessed,
今天我要谈一谈种族的问题
today I am going to talk about race.
我想从我的故事说起
and I’ll start off by sharing with you my story
一个亚裔美国人的成长故事
of growing up Asian-American.
两岁时
I moved to the United States
我移民去了美国
when I was two years old,
所以我一直生活在两种文化交融的环境下
so almost my entire life has been a blend of two cultures.
我用筷子吃通心粉
I eat pasta with chopsticks.
我很喜欢吃陈皮鸡
I’m addicted to orange chicken.
我的童年偶像是姚明
and my childhood hero was Yao Ming.
我在北达科塔州
But having grown up in North Dakota,
南达科塔州和爱达荷州长大
South Dakota, and Idaho,
这些州几乎不存在种族多样性
all states with incredible little racial diversity,
因此使我所谓的异域中国的基因
it was difficult to reconcilemy so-called exotic Chinese heritage
和我主流的美国自身意识协调一致 是很困难的
with my mainstream American self.
我常常是房间里唯一的亚洲人
Used to being the only Asian in the room,
人们看到我注意到的第一件事就是我不是白人
I was self-conscious that the first thingpeople noticed about me was
这让我不自在
that I wasn’t white.
当时还是孩子的我很快地意识到
And as a child I quickly began to realize
我面前有两个选择
that I had two options in front of me.
迎合人们对亚洲人的刻板印象
Conformed to the stereotypethat was expected of me,
或者遵照我身边的白人行事方式
or conformed to the whitenessthat surrounded me.
没有折中的选择
There was no in between.
对于我来说 这就意味着我对于自己擅长数学
For me, this meant that I always felt self-conscious
总是感到不自然
about being good at maths,
因为人们会说这不过就是因为我是亚洲人
because people would just sayit was because I was Asian,
而不会说我确实认真学习了
not because I actually worked hard.
这还意味着无论何时一个男孩找我约会
It meant that whenever a boy asked me out,
都只是因为他得了黄热病
it was because he had the yellow fever,
而不是因为他真的喜欢我
and not because he actually liked me.
这也意味着很长一段时间以来
It meant that for the longest time
我的身份是围绕着我是另类这个事实形成的
my identity had formed around the fact that I was different.
而我曾以为身为亚裔是我唯一的特别之处
And I thought that being Asian was the only special thing about me.
在我曾生活过的地方 这些印象根深蒂固
These effects were emphasized by the places where I lived.
不要误会我的意思
Don’t get me wrong.
只有一小部分人是真正的种族主义者
Only a small percentageof people were actually racist, or,
或者临界种族主义者
even borderline racist,
然而绝大多数人都只是有一点无所适从
but the vast majority were just a little bit clueless. Now,
现在 你们可能在想“这有什么区别呢?”
I know you are probably thinking,”What’s the difference?” Well,
那我举个例子吧
here is an example.
非种族主义者可能会说“我是白人但你不是”
Not racist can sound like,”I’m white and you’re not.”
种族主义者会说
Racist can sound like,
“我是白人 而你不是 所以我比你优秀。”
“I’m white, you’re not,and that makes me better than you.”
无所适从的人会说
But clueless sounds like,
“我是白人 你不是 我也不知道怎么去对待这种差异。”
“I’m white, you’re not,and I don’t know how to deal with that.”
现在 我非常肯定
Now, I don’t doubt for a second
这些无所适从的人们还是善良的
that these clueless people are still nice individuals
他们本意是好的
with great intentions.
但熟悉之后他们就会问一些相当恼人的问题
But they do ask some questions that become pretty annoying after a while.
举几个例子吧
Here are a few examples.
“你是中国人 天哪 我有一个中国朋友 你认识他吗?”
“You’re Chinese, oh my goodness,I have a Chinese friend, do you know him?”
[大笑]
[Laughter]
“不认识”
“No.”
“我不认识他”
I don’t know him.
跟你不切实际的期望恰恰相反
Because contrary to your unrealistic expectations,
我并不认识
I do not know every single one
住在地球上的
of the 1.35 billion Chinese people
13.5亿中国人的每一位
who live on planet earth.
人们还喜欢问
People also tend to ask,
“你的名字是怎么来的?”
“Where does your name come from?”
然而我真的不知道怎么去回答这个问题
and I really don’t know how to answer that,
所以我通常实话实说
so I usually stick with the truth.
“我父母取的”
“My parents gave it to me.”
“那你的名字是怎么来的?”
“Where does your name come from?”
[大笑]
[Laughter]
更不要提
Don’t even get me started
人们已经多少次把我和其他的亚洲人弄混了
on how many times people have confused me with a different Asian person.
有一回一个人走过来跟我说
One time someone came up to me and said,
“Angie 我超喜欢你的艺术作品!”
“Angie, love your art work!”
我一脸懵逼 所以我道了谢就走了
And I was super confused, so I just thanked them and walked away.
但是 在这所有的问题中
But, out of all the questions,
我最喜欢的还是那个最经典的问题
my favorite one is still the classic,
“你从哪儿来的?”
“Where are you from?”
因为我在好几个地方住过
because I’ve lived in quite a few places,
所以对话通常会这么进行下去
so this is how the conversation usually goes.
“你从哪儿来?”
“Where are you from?”
“噢 我来自爱达荷州的博伊西”
“Oh, I am from Boise, Idaho.”
“我知道了 但你真正来自哪里呢?”
“I see, but where are you really from?”
“这个嘛 我在南达科他州生活过一段时间”
“I mean, I livedin South Dakota for a while.”
“好吧 那么之前呢?”
“Okay,What about before that?”
“我之前在北达科他州生活”
“I mean, I lived in North Dakota.”
“好吧 那我就直接问了”
“Okay,I’m just going to cut straight to the chase here,
“我是说”
I guess what I’m saying is,
“你之前在离这里很远的什么地方生活过吗?”
have you ever lived anywhere far away from here,
“那种说话方式不一样的地方”
where people talk a little differently?”
“哦 我知道你说的哪里了 是的”
“ Oh, I know where you talking about, yes I have,
“我之前在德克萨斯生活过”
I used to live in Texas.”
[大笑]
[Laughter]
到那个时候 他们通常已经
By then, they usually have
放弃了追问下去 并且心中暗想
just given up and wonder to themselves
为什么我不是那种很酷的亚洲人呢
why I’m not one of the cool Asians
像林书豪或者成龙那样的
like Jeremy Lin or Jackie Chan,
或者他们干脆跳过无用的玩笑话直接问我
or they skip the needless banterand go straight for the,
“你的家族是来自哪里的?”
“Where is your family from?”
所以为在座各位提供一个参考
So just an FYI for all of you out there,
这是最合适的提问方式
that is the safest strategy.
但是尽管这些互动很有趣
But as amusing as these interactions were,
很多时候 他们使我想排斥自身的文化
oftentimes they made mewant to reject my own culture,
因为我认为这能够帮助我融入这个环境
because I thought it helped me conform.
我把我自己从亚洲人的刻板印象中脱离出来
I distanced myself from the Asian stereotype
尽可能地 去贬低我自己的种族
as much as possible, by degrading my own race,
装作讨厌数学
and pretending I hated math.
然而最糟糕的是 这居然有效
And the worse part was, it worked.
我越排斥我的中国身份我就变得越受欢迎
The more I rejected my Chinese identity, the more popular I became.
我的同伴们就越喜欢我 因为我更像他们
My peers liked me more, because I was more similar to them.
我也变得更自信 因为我知道我和他们更相似
I became more confident, because I knew I was more similar to them.
但是随着我变得越来越美国化
But as I became more Americanized,
我也开始一点一点地失去我自己的一些东西
I also began to lose bits and pieces of myself,
那些东西我再也找不回来
parts of me that I can never get back,
并且无论我怎么努力去假装
and no matter how much I tried to pretend
我和我的美国同学没有差别
that I was the same as my American classmates,
差别都一直存在
I wasn’t.
因为对于那些
Because for people who have lived
和我生活在同一个地方的人来说
in the places where I lived,
白种人才是标准规范 而对于我来说
white is the norm, and for me,
白种人也变成了标准规范
white became the norm too.
我十四岁生日的时候
For my fourteenth birthday,
我收到了一个电子游戏礼物 叫做模拟人生3
I received the video game The Sims 3,
你可以创建自己的角色并控制他们的生活
which lets you create your own charactersand control their lives.
十四岁的我下意识地就创造了一个完美的主流小家庭
My fourteen-year-old self created the perfect little mainstream family,
这家人住在一个大宅里 有一个巨大的游泳池
complete with a huge mansionand an enormous swimming pool.
我疯狂地玩了这个游戏三个月
I binge-played the game for about three months,
然后就把它丢在一边再也没有想起来过
then put it away and never really thought about it again,
直到几个星期前 我突然就意识到
until a few weeks ago, when I came to a sudden realization.
那个我模拟创建的家庭 是一个白人家庭
The family, that I had custom-designed was white.
我为我自己设计的角色也是一个白人
The character that I had designedfor myself was white.
我设计的每一个人都是白人
Everyone I had designed was white.
最糟糕的是
And the worst part was,
这是一个我下意识就做出的决定
this was by no means a conscious decision that I had made.
我从来没有想过
Never once did I think to myself
我能够把这个角色设计得像我自己
that I could actually make the characters look like me.
我甚至未加思索
Without even thinking,
白人的生活方式就已经变成了我的生活方式
white had become my norm too.
事实上 亚裔美国人在美国的文化熔炉里
The truth is, Asian Americans play a strange role
扮演着一个奇怪的角色
in the American melting pot.
我们是少数人的生活范式
We are the model minority.
社会利用我们
Society uses our success to pit us
和其他种族的人竞争获得的成功
against other people of color
作为种族主义并不存在的证明
as justification that racism doesn’t exist.
但是对我们亚裔美国人来说 这意味着什么
But was does that mean for us, Asian Americans?
这意味着我们并不是
It means that we are not
足够相似到被社会所接受
quite similar enough to be accepted,
但是我们也不至于不同到被人所讨厌
but we aren’t different enough to be loathed.
我们一直处于一个灰色区域
We are in a perpetually grey zone,
社会也不是很确定要拿我们怎么办
and society isn’t quite sure what to do with us.
所以他们根据我们的肤色给我们分类
So they group us by the color of our skin.
他们告诉我们必须丢弃自己的根
They tell us that we must reject our own heritages,
这样我们才能够合群
so we can fit in with the crowd.
他们告诉我们 我们的外国人特征是唯一鉴别我们身份的途径
They tell us that our foreignness is the only identifying characteristic of us.
他们把我们原来的身份一个一个地剥离
They strip away our identities one by one,
直到我们外国人不是那么的外国人
until we are foreign, but not quite foreign,
美国人不是那么的美国人
American but not quite American,
我们是个体
individual,
但只在周围没有其他同胞时我们才是个体
but only when there are no other people from our native country around.
我希望我能够一直有勇气
I wish that I had always had the courage
去说出这些问题
to speak out about these issues.
但我所属的文化一个努力避免分歧
But coming from one culture that avoids confrontation,
一个存在种族分歧
and another that is divided over race,
我要怎么做才能够克服压力保持平衡
how do I overcome the pressureto keep the peace,
同时也能够保持真我?
while also staying true to who I am?
虽然我很不愿意承认这一点
And as much as I hate to admit it,
但很多时候我确实不会说出来 因为
often times I don’t speak out, because,
如果我说了
if I do,
别人有可能就会说
it’s at the the risk of being told
我太敏感了
that I am too sensitive,
或者我太容易生气了
or that I get offended too easily,
又或者是这件事根本就不值得计较
or that it’s just not worth it.
但是我想指出的是 人们愿意承认这一点吗
But I would point, are people willing to admit that?
确实 种族问题是饱受争议的
Yes, race issues are controversial.
但也正因为这样我们才需要去讨论它们
But that’s precisely the reason why we need to talk about them.
我刚满18岁
I just turned eighteen,
世界上还有很多我不了解的事情
and there are still so many things that I don’t know about the world.
但是我现在知道的是
But what I do know is that it’s hard to admit
承认自己也许是问题的一部分是很难的
that you might be part of the problem, that,
我们所有人都可能是问题的一部分
all of us might be part of the problem.
因此 我没有给你们逐步指导
So, instead of giving you a step-by-step guide
怎样才不算对亚洲人种族歧视
on how to not be racist towards Asians,
我想让大家决定从这次演讲中学习哪些东西
I will let you decide what to take from this talk.
我能够做的 就是分享我自己的故事
All I can do, is share my story.
我的名字叫Canwen 我最喜欢的颜色是紫色
My name is Canwen, my favorite color is purple.
我喜欢弹钢琴 但没有那么喜欢拉小提琴
And I play the piano, but not so much the violin.
我有非常支持我的 努力工作的父母
I have two incredibly supportive,hardworking parents,
和一个非常棒的十岁的弟弟
and one very awesome ten-year-old brother.
除了吃米饭 我最喜欢微积分
I love calculus more than anything, despise eating rice,
我还是一个可怕的司机
and I’m a horrendous driver.
但最最重要的是 我为我是谁而感到骄傲
But most of all, I am proud of who I am.
我有一点像美国人 一点像中国人
A little bit American, a little bit Chinese,
更多的是两者的结合体
and a whole lot of both.
谢谢各位
Thank you.
[掌声]
[Applause]

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视频概述

作为一个亚裔美国人,在我成长的环境下,我是如何去适应周围的环境,成为真正的自己。

听录译者

收集自网络

翻译译者

米椒

审核员

审核员_MC

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_pUtz75lNaw

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