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爱人间的幽默 – 译学馆
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爱人间的幽默

Humour In Relationships

我们天生就知道幽默在人际关系中是相当重要的
We know by instinct that humour is pretty important in relationships
但是原因总是有点模糊不清
But the reasons are often left a little vague
我们并不是单纯地为了消遣
It isn’t that we crudely want entertainment-
电视上的喜剧已经足够多了
there are enough comedians on the TV
我们并不只是自娱自乐
We don’t just want to laugh per se
而是因为如果两个人要相濡以沫 天长地久的话
For 2 people to be able to tolerate one another over time
我们就需要用最佳方式
we need to laugh
让伴侣和我们自己都开心
in the nicest way, at our partner and at ourselves.
把时间花在亲近一个人上 不可避免地
Spending time closely around someone inevitably exposes us
暴露了我们正不断偏离我们所说的常态或平衡
to constant departures from what we could call normality or balance.
我们的伴侣可能在很多方面会有点疯狂
Our partners will be a little crazy in many areas
当然 我们也是如此
and we will be too, of course
他们可能会在一天之内给妈妈打5个电话
They might turn out to ring their mother 5 times a day
把厨房打扫得纤尘不染 好像那里要做手术一样
clean the kitchen as if a surgery was gonna be performed there
总是坚持邀请朋友来小聚
always insist on inviting friends around
或是离起飞还剩6个小时时想要蹬自行车去机场
or want to ride to the airport 6 hours before a flight
这个时候我们需要说出自己的想法
We need to say something but doing so directly
但如果太过直接或者太过严肃都会适得其反
and in a serious voice can be painfully counterproductive
很多时候 对方只是觉得自己被迅速攻击了 他们拒绝察其内情
Too often, the partner just feels swiftly attacked and refuses the inside
近而导致压抑不住的怒气和辛酸
leading to stifled irritation and bitterness
那这种时刻就需要幽默救场啦
And this is where humour comes in
幽默是最有效的
Humour is the most effective way to criticizing another person
也不会让对方生气和伤自尊的批评方式
without arousing their irritation or self-righteousness
他们的笑并不是因为好笑
Their laughter isn’t just fun, it’s a sign
而是他们已经承认了并试图改过自新
that they’ve have acknowledged and attempted to reform them.
若以严肃的口吻批评 人们更倾向于被惹怒
If people tend to get annoyed when critisism is delivered in a serious tone
这是因为他们意识不到
it’s that they can’t see the extent to
自己已到了失态的程度了
which their attitudes have abandoned proportion and balance
他们无法用理智的方式认识到自己的错误
They are unable to spot their deviation from mature mean
所以喜剧手法把对方的让人讨厌的部分夸张化
So the comedic gesture involves subjecting the troublesome aspect of the other to extreme exaggeration
这样就能驱使他们认识到自己的问题
which then jolts them to the recognition of the problem
同时又不会让他们觉得自己真的那么差
while at the same time offering them a relief of feeling that they are of course quite that bad.
19世纪80年代末英国前首相玛格丽特·撒切尔
In the late 1980s, the then Bristish Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher
连同她的同事 政治同僚得势
grew increasingly authoritarian with her colleagues and fellow politicians
各大报纸上的严肃文章都敦促首相更通情达理善解人意一点
Serious-minded articles appeared in newspapers urging the Prime Minister to be more empathetic.
但这全都是徒劳 他们冒犯了撒切尔夫人而使其固执己见
It didn’t work at all, Mrs. Thatcher simply got offended and dug in
但这之后的一出喜剧表演用了一个名叫“一模一样”的木偶
But then a comedy show using puppets called Spitting Image
将首相演绎成了一个想用棍子教训淘气同事的疯女人
turned the Prime Minister in to a deep voice psychopathic matron
剧中的她声音低沉
with a tendency to whack a naughty colleague over the head with a truncheon
这当然与撒切尔夫人的实际情况不符
This obviously wasn’t what Mrs. Thatcher actually behaved
但它毕竟是把真实而沉重的真相夸大了10倍
and yet it was a 10-fold of exaggeration of a real and painful truth about her
最重要的是 通过这种方式 首相看到了这一点
Remarkably, presented in this form, the Prime Minister can see the point
这种夸张平息了她的怒火
felt assuage by the wildness of exaggeration
也让她能够自嘲
and was in a position to laugh at herself
在她的自传中 她回忆起收听这个节目时也会笑出声来
In her memoir, she recalled tuning into the program and chuckling,
在明显的渐趋失控中
realizing that she would henceforth need to learn to
她意识到自己需要学习如何统治
reign in a tendency that clearly have gotten out of hand
喜剧表演是需要我们在人际关系中不断去预演的
The comedy show was a rehearsing move we all need constantly to make in our relationships.
我们也应该用这种幽默夸张的策略
Here too, we should use the tactic of kindly comic exaggeration
来指出另一半的感觉
to point out the feelings of another person
设想一下这种情况我们如何回答:
Imagine responding to a partner
厨房有一点儿污渍 另一半就大惊小怪
who had become overly agitated about any sign of dirt in the kitchen.
回答时 我们会夸张地强调问题的严重性
In answer, we might massively over–play the gravity of the issue and insist:
“让我们为水槽旁的面包屑自杀吧”
“Let’s commit suicide over the bread crumbs by the sink.”
“是啊 小题大做的生活不值得活下去”
“You’re right, life is no longer worth living on this term.”
我们会冲到深夜药店(24h药店)买一整瓶安眠药
We can nip around to the late night pharmacy get a bottle of sleeping pill
或是直接拿着面包刀对准自己脚踝上的大静脉
or else I’ll just take the bread knife to those larger veins in our ankles.
很快 我们就再也不用为这个混乱的世界操心啦
Soon we won’t have to worry about these messy world any longer.
这本应该会有趣
Come on it could even be fun.”
总之 讲话时 你需要保持活跃 轻松幽默
One word, during this speech you need to be chirpy
你说出来的每个词都是你推敲细节的体现
relaxed with just a playful twitch of the lips as on elaborated of technical details.
喜剧人都知道语气就是一切
The comedians know tone is everything.
喜剧手法是把规范放大到荒谬的程度
The comic move is the blow up departures from the norm to such manifesting absurd proportions
甚至是伴侣也能看到他们的一贯反应:反应过激
that even the partner can see them for what they always were: overreaction.
喜剧很好地教会我们如何来让过激的对方仔细想想问题
Comedy skillfully teaches us that the way to get someone to see that have overreacted
并不是要我们(的话)听起来成熟或合理
is not to sound matured and reasonable
而是反复引出问题直到其变得清晰
It is continue to pump up the problems until the overreaction becomes so clear
所以 就让我们先跳出问题 从逗笑对方开始吧
so benign by its outside dimension that our audiences start to laugh
我们已经掌握了幽默批评的诀窍
We have learned to criticize through humour and our relationship
通过幽默评论能够使我们的关系稳定很多
will be a whole lot more secured as a result
尤其是当我们允许爱人把自己的情绪放大成玩笑时
especially when we allow our lover to magnify our own feelings into jokes in turn.

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视频概述

与爱人甜甜蜜蜜 但总也会有问题出现 大战一触即发 我们该如何和平解决

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收集自网络

翻译译者

阿天天

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视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ehIiWha1oU8

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