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如何适应对象的爱情模式

How to Work With Your Partner's Love Style

[Music]
[音乐]
In the past
在过去
we released a video on
我们发布了一个关于
how your childhood affects your love style.
童年是如何影响你爱情风格的视频
Now that you’ve identified
既然已经确定了
what your core patterns are,
你的核心模式是什么
we figured it would be helpful to offer insights
我们认为它将有助于提供关于
on how to work with each love style.
如何使用每种爱情风格的见解
Whether your partner is
无论你的伴侣是
prone to being a distant avoider
倾向于当一个逃避者
or an anxious vacillator,
还是焦虑的优柔寡断者
know that working out your differences
要知道解决你们的分歧
will only strengthen your relationship in the end.
最终只会增进你们的关系
Here are five tips on
这有5个小贴士
how to work with your partner’s love style.
教你如何与伴侣的爱情风格共事
One:the pleaser
1 取悦者
Charming, nice
魅力四射 和蔼可亲
and known as the stereotypical good students,
被认为是典型的好学生
these type of people actually grew up
这类人实际上是在
walking on eggshells.
鸡蛋壳里长大的
Their parents were most likely either overly critical,
他们的父母可能要么过于挑剔
overly protective or both.
要么过度保护 或者两者兼有之
As a result, they have a hard time setting boundaries,
因此 他们很难设定界限
saying no and do their best to maintain peace
说“不” 甚至不惜牺牲自己的利益
even at their own expense.
来尽最大努力维持和平
In relationships they don’t deal with conflict well
在恋爱关系中 他们不能很好的处理冲突
and may try to avoid it altogether
可能会试图通过撒谎等
by resorting to bad habits such as lying.
坏习惯来避免冲突
To resolve issues with the pleaser
为了解决与取悦者之间的问题
show them that it’s normal for things to get messy.
要让他们知道事情变得一团糟是正常的
But instead of getting mad at them
但是不要对他们发火
let them know that you want their honest input
要让他们知道你想要他们诚实的意见
not something sugar-coated.
而不是糖衣炮弹
Two:the victim
2 受害者
Victims grew up in a violent, abusive environment.
受害者在暴力 虐待的环境中长大
Consequently, they do not like to
因此 他们不喜欢
attract much attention to themselves
吸引太多的注意力在自己身上
and prefer to blend in the background.
而是更喜欢融入背景
Often compliant and adaptable,
通常他们很顺从 适应能力强
it can be hard to tell
这很难判断
whether a victim is suffering or not.
受害者是否正在遭受痛苦
Common problems they face
他们面临的常见问题
are putting up with toxic behaviour
是忍受有毒行为
and choosing a partner
选择一个重复他们
who repeats the abusive behavior
已经习惯的虐待行为
they’ve been accustomed to.
的伴侣
In order to work with a victim
为了和受害者相处
provide the encouragement they lacked growing up
给他们提供他们在成长过程中缺乏的鼓励
and set healthy, consistent habits
养成健康 一致的习惯
to let them know they are safe with you.
让他们知道和你在一起是安全的
Three:the controller
3 控制者
Bossy, intimidating and quick to anger,
这类人专横跋扈 咄咄逼人且易怒
these type of people adopted a black
他们在年轻的时候
and white mentality at a young age.
就形成了黑白分明的心态
Either you are controlled or do the controlling.
要么你被控制 要么控制别人
In relationships
在恋爱关系中
partners may find them rigid and selfish
他们对象可能会发现他们对自己的
with their expectations
期望过于死板和自私
and threatening during breaking points.
在感情破裂时会感到威胁
Inside though
虽然他们
they’re definitely hurting.
内在肯定很痛
When working with a controller
当和控制者相处时
don’t give them the upper hand
不要让他们占上风
nor excuse their toxic behavior.
也不要为他们的不良行为找借口
Instead, meet in the middle.
相反 我们该折中一下
Let them know that
让他们知道
you aren’t the main source of their pain,
他们痛苦的主要来源不是你
but rather it’s the unresolved childhood memory
而是他们需要解决的
they need to address.
未解决的童年记忆
Four:the vacillator
4 优柔寡断的人
Vacillators grew up in an unpredictable household.
优柔寡断的人在一个变化莫测的家庭中长大
Fearing abandonment and yearning for stability,
由于害怕被抛弃 渴望稳定
these individuals have felt
这些人感觉
misunderstood their whole lives.
他们的一生都被误解了
Still, they managed to remain idealistic
尽管如此 他们仍然能努力保持理想主义
searching for their soulmate.
寻找他们的灵魂伴侣
They have to be careful however,
然而 他们必须小心
with their starry-eyed nature.
因为他们天性充满幻想
Prone to venting, anger and guilt,
由于发泄 愤怒和内疚
vacillators will often be paralyzed
优柔寡断者经常会被他们
by the problems they face.
面临的问题所麻痹
They may expect their partners
他们可能期望他们的
to come up with solutions
伴侣拿出解决方案
instead of standing on their own two feet.
而不是依靠他们自己
To work with a vacillators,
和优柔寡断的人相处
provide emotional support
提供感情支持
and listen to their frustrations.
倾听他们的挫折
Ask them questions
问他们问题
and help them reflect on potential solutions,
帮助他们思考可能的解决方案
but don’t do the work for them.
但是不要为他们做事
Over time this will help them realize
随着时间的推移 这将帮助他们
they are capable of more than they usually think.
意识到他们比他们自以为的更有能力
Five:the avoider
5 回避型的人
Known to be self-sufficient,
众所周知 这类人自给自足
these types of people value their space
他们把自己的空间和自由
and freedom above everyone.
看得比任何人都重要
Since they come from a background
因为他们来自一个
where little to no support was offered
几乎没有人给予支持的背景
they learn to mature fast
他们学会了快速成熟
and take care of themselves.
和照顾自己
In relationships common problems avoiders face
在恋爱关系中 回避型的人面临的常见问题
include being dismissive of their partner’s feelings,
包括轻视伴侣的感受
having difficulty providing empathy
难以提供同理心
and creating too many boundaries
以及设置太多的界限
to the point of being unreachable.
以至于无法触及
To work with an avoider
和回避型的人相处
never try to force ideas onto them
永远不要强迫他们接受自己的想法
or throw temper tantrums.
也不要发脾气
This will only cause them to retreat
这只会导致他们撤退
or shut down even more.
或者更多的自我封闭
Avoiders can get easily overwhelmed
如果你过于情绪化或自我防卫
if you’re being too emotional or defensive.
回避型的人会很容易不知所措
Give them time to cool off
给他们时间冷静下来
and attempt to problem-solve with them
当你们都想清楚的时候
when the both of you are clear minded.
试着和他们一起解决问题
Is your love style compatible with your partner’s?
你的爱情风格和你对象的一致吗?
What are some challenges you’re facing?
你面临着哪些挑战?
Let us know in the comments section below.
请在下面的评论部分告诉我们
For more helpful content,
如需更多有用的内容
please be sure to also subscribe to our channel.
请订阅我们的频道
Thanks for watching!
谢谢收看!
Hey guys, my name is Yumi
大家好 我的名字叫Yumi
and I am one of the partners of psych2go.
我是psych2go的合作伙伴之一
Today I’m not only here to introduce myself
今天我在这不仅是要介绍我自己
but also introduce you guys
也要向你们介绍
to our amazing psych2go magazines.
我们很棒的psych2go杂志
Don’t they look wonderful?
他们看起来不棒吗?
These magazines were all created by our amazing
这些杂志都是由我们才华横溢的
and talented magazine manager Imogen.
杂志经理Imogen创建的
She put all her time and hard work
她花了所有的时间和努力
just to create this for you guys.
只为你们制作这个杂志
So everyone can have a little piece of psych2go
所以无论你们在哪里 每个人
wherever you guys are.
都可以拥有一小部分psych2go
So we are gonna do a little giveaway right now.
我们现在要送一些赠品
So we’re gonna pick three winners.
所以我们要选出三个幸运儿
There’s no deadline to this at all.
本活动长期有效
And all you gotta do is three little things, okay?
你只需要做三件小事 好吗?
Number one is to follow
第一 是关注
and subscribe to our YouTube channel
和订阅我们的YouTube频道
if you haven’t done so already.
如果你还没有订阅的话
Number two is either take a picture of,
第二 要么拍一张
you know, this picture right here,
你知道 就是这里的图片
a screenshot or any picture of psych2go
截图 要么任何psych2go的图片
and # psych2go on your social media,
带话题发到你的社交媒体
Instagram, Facebook, tumblr, whatever it is.
Ins 脸书 汤不热或任何媒体上
And number three:we’re gonna have a link down below
第三 我们会在下面有一个
of a really short questionnaire
很短的问卷的链接
for us to connect with you
让我们和你们联系
and get to know you guys a little bit more. Okay,
更多的了解你们 好的
but that’s about it.
就是这样
We want to thank you for all your support through our
我们要感谢你们通过我们神奇的心理学公司
amazing amazing psychology company,
所给予的所有支持
and we wouldn’t be here without you guys.
如果没有你们 我们就不会在这里
So thank you and thanks for tuning in.
谢谢大家收听我们的节目

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视频概述

本视频介绍了五种人格,并介绍了如何和这五中人格的人相处

听录译者

收集自网络

翻译译者

咬人的小脑斧

审核员

审核员#LY

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ifv7tTRqZ1A

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