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闲暇时放下工作

How to turn off work thoughts during your free time | Guy Winch

Translator: Ivana Korom Reviewer: Krystian Aparta
译者: 伊万娜•科洛姆 校对:克瑞斯辰•俄帕塔
I wanted to be a psychologist since I was a teenager,
自打青少年时期 我就想做一名心理学家
and I spent years pursuing that one goal.
我花了多年时间朝这个目标迈进
I opened my private practice as soon as I was licensed.
我一拿到营业执照就开设了自己的私人诊所
It was a risky move, not getting a day job at a hospital or a clinic,
这是一步险棋 毕竟我未在医院或诊所全职工作过
but within one year, my practice was doing quite well
不过不到一年 诊所就经营得不错
and I was making more money than I ever made before.
我从来没有赚过这么多钱
Of course, I was a full-time student my entire life.
当然 我以前一直是全职学生
I could have worked at McDonald’s
我要是去麦当劳打工
and made more money than I ever made before.
赚的钱也会比以往都多
That one-year mark came on a Friday night in July.
七月的某个周五晚上 迎来了我工作一周年纪念日
I walked home to my apartment
我走回公寓
and got into the elevator with a neighbor who was a doctor in the ER.
和一位在急诊室做医生的邻居乘同一个电梯
The elevator rose,
电梯向上攀升
then it shuddered and stalled between floors.
然后随着一声震颤 它在两层楼之间停住了
And the man who dealt with emergencies for a living
这个以处理紧急情况为生的男人
began poking at the buttons and banging on the door, saying,
开始猛戳电梯按钮 拼命砸门 喊道:
“This is my nightmare, this is my nightmare!”
“这是我的噩梦 这是我的噩梦!”
And I was like, “And this is my nightmare.”
我心想 “这才是我的噩梦”
I felt terrible afterwards, though.
然而之后 我感觉很糟糕
Because I wasn’t panicked
因为我没有惊慌失措
and I knew what to say to calm him down.
我也知道我可以说些什么让他冷静下来
I was just too depleted to do it,
我只是感觉身体被掏空
I had nothing left to give, and that confused me.
我什么都做不了 这也让我感到十分困惑
After all, I was finally living my dream,
毕竟 我终于能过上梦寐以求的生活
so why wasn’t I happy?
那为什么我不快乐呢?
Why did I feel so burned out?
我为什么会感到精疲力竭
For a few terrible weeks,
在接下来几个糟糕的星期里
I questioned whether I’d made a mistake.
我怀疑自己是否犯下了错误
What if I had chosen the wrong profession?
如果我入错行了该怎么办?
What if I had spent my entire life pursuing the wrong career?
如果我耗尽一生追求的却是错误的职业怎么办?
But then I realized, no, I still loved psychology.
但我随即意识到 不对 我还是热爱心理学的
The problem wasn’t the work I did in my office.
问题并不在我办公室的工作
It was the hours I spent ruminating about work
而是当我在家时 仍会花费不少时间
when I was home.
反复琢磨自己的工作
I closed the door to my office every night,
每晚我都锁上办公室的门
but the door in my head remained wide-open
但我脑海中的门却一直敞开着
and the stress just flooded in.
压力就这样源源不断的涌入
That’s the interesting thing about work stress.
这就是工作压力的有趣之处
We don’t really experience much of it at work.
我们上班时不会感到太多压力
We’re too busy.
那时我们太忙了
We experience it outside of work,
我们会在工作之余感到压力
when we are commuting,
当我们在通勤路上
when we’re home,
当我们回到家里
when we’re trying to rejuvenate.
当我们试图恢复活力时
It is important to recover in our spare time,
在空闲时间进行恢复是至关重要的
to de-stress and do things we enjoy,
我们需要释放压力 做一些自己喜欢的事
and the biggest obstruction we face in that regard is ruminating.
这方面我们面对的最大障碍就是反刍式思考
Because each time we do it,
因为每当我们这么做时
we’re actually activating our stress response.
其实是在激活我们的压力反应
Now, to ruminate means to chew over.
反刍的意思就是反复咀嚼
The word refers to how cows digest their food.
这个词指的是 奶牛消化食物的方式
For those of you unfamiliar with the joys of cow digestion,
在座的各位可能不熟悉奶牛消化的乐趣
cows chew,
奶牛咀嚼食物
then they swallow,
然后吞咽下去
then they regurgitate it back up and chew it again.
然后它们把食物反吐回嘴里 再咀嚼一次
It’s disgusting.
非常恶心
But it works for cows.
但对奶牛来说十分有用
It does not work for humans.
此方法不适于人类
Because what we chew over are the upsetting things,
因为我们反复咀嚼的 是让人烦躁的事情
the distressing things,
让人苦恼的事情
and we do it in ways that are entirely unproductive.
并且我们这样做是毫无益处可言的
It’s the hours we spend obsessing about tasks we didn’t complete
我们花费数小时无法摆脱未完成任务的困扰
or stewing about tensions with a colleague,
或是和同事关系紧张而闷闷不乐
or anxiously worrying about the future,
对未来忧心如焚
or second-guessing decisions we’ve made.
或为已下的决心而惴惴不安
Now there’s a lot of research on how we think about work
如今 有大量研究是关于我们在非工作时间里
when we are not at work,
如何思考工作的
and the findings are quite alarming.
而这些研究的发现非常骇人
Ruminating about work,
反复咀嚼工作
replaying the same thoughts and worries over and over again,
一遍又一遍地回放同样的想法和担忧
significantly disrupts our ability to recover and recharge in the off hours.
会显著降低 我们在闲暇时间 恢复和充电的能力
The more we ruminate about work when we’re home,
我们在家里反思工作的时间越长
the more likely we are to experience sleep disturbances,
我们越有可能患睡眠障碍
to eat unhealthier foods
吃更加不健康的食物
and to have worse moods.
情绪也每况愈下
It may even increase our risk of cardiovascular disease
这甚至有可能增加患心血管疾病的风险
and of impairing our executive functioning,
并且危害我们(对工作)的管控能力
the very skill sets we need to do our jobs well.
而这又恰恰是工作中不可或缺的能力
Not to mention the toll it takes on our relationships and family lives,
更别提对亲密关系和家庭生活造成的负担
because people around us can tell we’re checked out and preoccupied.
因为身边的人能察觉我们的魂不守舍和心不在焉
Now, those same studies found
同样的研究还发现
that while ruminating about work when we’re home
虽然在家反刍工作
damages our emotional well-being,
会损害我们的情绪健康
thinking about work in creative or problem-solving ways does not.
但从富有创意或解决问题的角度思考工作却大有裨益
Because those kinds of thinking do not elicit emotional distress
原因在于 这些思考方式不会触发情绪困扰
and, more importantly, they’re in our control.
更重要的是 这些思考在我们的掌控之内
We can decide whether to respond to an email
我们可以选择是现在回复邮件
or leave it till morning,
还是留到第二天早上再说
or whether we want to brainstorm about work projects that excite us.
或者是否想围绕使我们兴奋的项目展开头脑风暴
But ruminations are involuntary.
但反刍思考是不由自主的
They’re intrusive.
它们是侵扰性的
They pop into our head when we don’t want them to.
它们在我们不情愿时窜进我们的脑海里
They upset us when we don’t want to be upset.
它们在我们想要开心时使我们心烦
They switch us on when we are trying to switch off.
它们在我们试图休息时强行启动工作状态
And they are very difficult to resist,
它们是难以抗拒的
because thinking of all our unfinished tasks feels urgent.
因为思考所有未完成工作时会产生紧迫感
Anxiously worrying about the future feels compelling.
对未来忧心如焚的感觉如此迫切
Ruminating always feels like we’re doing something important,
反复思考会带来仿佛在做重要事情的错觉
when in fact, we’re doing something harmful.
实际上 我们做的是无益的事情
And we all do it far more than we realize.
我们这么做的频率远比意识到的要高
Back when I was burned out,
当我累的够呛那会儿
I decided to keep a journal for a week
我决定花一星期时间写日志
and document exactly how much time I spent ruminating.
准确记录我反刍思考的时间
And I was horrified by the results.
结果让我瞠目结舌
It was over 30 minutes a night when I was trying to fall asleep.
每晚试图入睡时 反刍时间超过30分钟
My entire commute, to and from my office —
还有往返办公室的全部通勤时间
that was 45 minutes a day.
也就是一天45分钟
Totally checked out for 20 minutes
在同事家晚餐聚会时
during the dinner party at a colleague’s house.
整整有20分钟神游太虚
Never got invited there again.
我之后再也没被邀请过
And 90 minutes during a friend’s “talent show”
还有朋友“才艺秀”的90分钟里
that, coincidentally, was 90 minutes long.
整个表演恰好也就90分钟
In total, that week, it was almost 14 hours.
那个星期的反刍时间总计近14个小时
That’s how much “downtime” I was losing
这就是我损失的“休息时间”
to something that actually increased my stress.
花在了增加压力上
Try keeping a journal for one week.
各位也可以尝试记录一周日志
See how much you do it.
看看自己有多长的反刍时间
That’s what made me realize that I still loved my work.
那让我意识到 我仍旧热爱自己的工作
But ruminating was destroying that love
但是反刍思考摧毁了我的热爱
and it was destroying my personal life, too.
同样也破坏了我的个人生活
So I read every study I could find,
我竭尽全力翻阅所有相关论文
and I went to war against my ruminations.
并开始与我的反刍思考“开战”
Now, habit change is hard.
改变习惯是困难的
It took real diligence to catch myself ruminating each time,
我只有异常努力才能克制自己进入反刍思考
and real consistency to make the new habits stick.
并且异常坚持才能让新习惯得以养成
But eventually, they did.
但最终 我成功了
I won my war against ruminating,
我战胜了反刍思考的习惯
and I’m here to tell you how you can win yours.
我今天站在这里想告诉大家 如何赢得自己的战斗
First, you need clear guardrails.
首先 你要有明晰的防护系统
You have to define when you switch off every night,
你必须准确到每晚什么时候下班
when you stop working.
什么时候停止工作
And you have to be strict about it.
并且必须严格遵守
The rule I made to myself at the time was that I was done at 8pm.
我要求自己每晚8点结束工作
And I forced myself to stick to it.
并且强迫自己遵守这个规则
Now people say to me,
有人会对我说
“Really? You didn’t return a single email after 8pm?
“你确定?你晚上8点以后从来不回一封邮件?
You didn’t even look at your phone?”
甚至连手机都不看一眼?”
No, not once.
没错 一次都没有
Because it was the ’90s, we didn’t have smartphones.
因为那是90年代 我们还没有智能手机
I got my first smartphone in 2007.
我在2007年买了第一台智能手机
You know, the iPhone had just come out,
那时iPhone刚刚问世
and I wanted a phone that was cool and hip.
我想要一台又酷又时髦的手机
I got a BlackBerry.
我买了一台黑莓
I was excited, though,
不过我还是很兴奋
you know, my first thought was, “I get my emails wherever I am.”
我第一个想法是“我随时随地都能收邮件了”
And 24 hours later,
24小时之后
I was like, “I get my emails wherever I am.”
“我在哪里都要收邮件了”(沮丧)
I mean, battling ruminations was hard enough
我是说 当反刍思考刚入侵思维时
when they just invaded our thoughts.
已经很难对付了
But now they have this Trojan horse,
但现在它们有了这个“特洛伊木马”
our phones, to hide within.
即我们的手机 可以藏在里面
And each time we just look at our phone after hours,
下班后只需看一眼手机
we can be reminded of work
就能想到工作
and ruminative thoughts can slip out
反刍思考就能偷偷溜出来
and slaughter our evening or weekend.
在晚上和周末大开杀戒(化用特洛伊木马典故)
So, when you switch off,
所以当你下班时
switch off your email notifications.
请关掉你的邮件提醒
And if you have to check them, decide on when to do it,
如果非要查阅 你需要决定好什么时候查
so it doesn’t interfere with your plans,
才不会扰乱你的计划
and do it only then.
并且仅在那个时间内查阅
Cell phones aren’t the only way technology is empowering rumination,
手机并不是科技助长反刍思考的唯一途径
because we have an even bigger fight coming.
因为我们面对的是更为严峻的挑战
Telecommuting has increased 115 percent over the past decade.
过去十年 远程办公的情况增长了115%
And it’s expected to increase even more dramatically going forward.
并且可以预见 其未来增长势头更加迅猛
More and more of us are losing our physical boundary
越来越多的人在逐渐失去
between work and home.
家与工作的物理界线
And that means that reminders of work
这意味着 和工作相关的事项
will be able to trigger ruminations from anywhere in our home.
都可以在家中任何地方触发反刍思考
When we lack a physical boundary between work and home,
当工作与家庭的物理界线缺失时
we have to create a psychological one.
我们就不得不建立一条心理防线
We have to trick our mind
我们需要对大脑略施小计
into defining work and nonwork times and spaces.
让它们厘清工作与非工作的时间和地点
So here’s how you do that.
你可以这么做
First, create a defined work zone in your home,
首先在家里创造一个设定好的工作空间
even if it’s tiny,
无论多小都可以
and try to work only there.
并尽量只在那里工作
Try not to work on the living room couch
尽量不要在客厅沙发上
or on the bed
或者床上工作
because really, those areas should be associated
因为说真的 那些区域只应属于
with living and … bedding.
生活和睡觉
Next, when you’re working from home,
第二 当你在家中工作时
wear clothes you only wear when you’re working.
穿上只在工作时穿的衣服
And then at the end of the day,
而在结束工作时
change clothes,
换另一套衣服
and use music and lighting to shift the atmosphere
运用音乐和照明把氛围
from work to home.
从工作模式切换到居家模式
Make it a ritual.
把它变成一种仪式
Now, some of you might think that’s silly.
你们中有些人或许认为这很傻
That changing clothes and lighting
换衣服和改变照明
will convince my mind I’m no longer at work.
怎么说服大脑我已经没在工作了
Trust me, your mind will fall for it.
相信我 你的大脑会中计的
Because we are really smart, our mind is really stupid.
因为我们很聪明 大脑却很蠢
It falls for random associations all the time, right?
它成天掉进各种关联的圈套 不是吗?
I mean, that’s why Pavlov’s dog began drooling at the sound of a bell.
这就是为什么巴浦洛夫的狗听到铃声就会流口水
And why TED speakers begin sweating at the sight of a red circle.
以及为什么TED演讲者看到红色圆圈就会开始冒汗
(Laughter)
(笑声)(舞台演讲区是红色的圆台)
Now those things will help,
这些方法能有所帮助
but ruminations will still invade.
但反刍思考仍会入侵
And when they do, you have to convert them
当它们入侵时 你必须把它们转化成
into productive forms of thinking, like problem-solving.
有效益的思考形式 比如解决问题
My patient Sally is a good example.
我的病人萨莉是一个很好的例子
Sally was given the promotion of a lifetime,
她得到了人生中最高级别的提拔
but it came with a price.
但也伴随着相应的代价
She was no longer able to pick up her daughter
从此她没法每天
from school every day,
接女儿放学
and that broke her heart.
这让她无比心碎
So she came up with a plan.
于是她想出了一个方案
Every Tuesday and Thursday, Sally left work early,
每周二和周四她会提前下班
picked up her daughter from school,
到学校接女儿
played with her, fed her, bathed her and put her to bed.
陪她玩耍 喂她吃饭 帮她洗澡 哄她入睡
And then she went back to the office
然后萨莉再回到公司
and worked past midnight to catch up.
工作到半夜弥补落下的工作
Only, Sally’s rumination journal indicated
唯一的问题是 她的反刍思考日志显示
she spent almost every minute of her quality time with her daughter
她在和女儿一起宝贵的时间里 几乎每一分钟
ruminating about how much work she had to do.
都在反复思考还有多少工作要做
Ruminations often deny us our most precious moments.
反刍思考常常会剥夺我们最宝贵的时光
Sally’s rumination, “I have so much work to do,”
萨莉的反刍思考“我还有好多活要干”
is a very common one.
这是很常见的
And like all of them,
和所有反刍思考一样
it’s useless and it’s harmful,
它是无用的 有害的
because we’d never think it when we’re at work, getting stuff done.
因为我们在上班完成这些工作后不会有这些想法
We think it when we’re outside of work,
这些想法在我们工作之余
when we’re trying to relax or do things that we find meaningful,
在我们试图放松或做一些有意义的事时冒出来
like playing with our children,
比如和孩子玩耍
or having a date night with our partner.
或者和伴侣的约会之夜
To convert a ruminative thought into a productive one,
为了把一个反刍想法变成建设性的想法
you have to pose it as a problem to be solved.
你必须把它塑造成一个待解决的问题
The problem-solving version of “I have so much work to do”
“我还有好多活要干”的解决问题版本
is a scheduling question.
是一个时间规划问题
Like, “Where in my schedule can I fit the tasks that are troubling me?”
例如“我可以把困扰我的任务塞进日程表的哪个地方?”
Or, “What can I move in my schedule to make room for this more urgent thing?”
或者“我可以变动哪些日程给紧急情况腾出时间?”
Or even, “When do I have 15 minutes to go over my schedule?”
又或是“我什么时候可以用15分钟回顾日程?”
All those are problems that can be solved.
这些都是可以解决的问题
“I have so much work to do” is not.
“还有好多活要干” 并非如此
Battling rumination is hard,
与反刍思考战斗是艰难的
but if you stick to your guardrails,
但如果你坚守防线
if you ritualize the transition from work to home,
如果你把工作到居家的转变仪式化
and if you train yourself to convert ruminations
如果你训练自己把反刍思考
into productive forms of thinking,
转换成建设性的思维方式
you will succeed.
你就会成功
Banishing ruminations truly enhanced my personal life,
消除反刍式思考真的改善了我的个人生活
but what it enhanced even more
但它提升更多的
was the joy and satisfaction I get from my work.
是我从工作中获得喜悦和满足
Ground zero for creating a healthy work-life balance
要创造一个工作生活的良性平衡
is not in the real world.
其原点并不在现实世界里
It’s in our head.
而是在我们的脑海里
It’s with ruminating.
和反刍思考息息相关
If you want to reduce your stress and improve your quality of life,
如果你想减轻压力 改善生活品质
you don’t necessarily have to change your hours or your job.
你不一定要调整工时或更换工作
You just have to change how you think.
你只需要改变自己的思维方式
Thank you.
谢谢大家

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视频概述

“觉得精疲力尽?你或许把太多时间花在对工作的反刍思考上了”心理学家盖温奇如是说。来看看通过三种帮你在下班放松下来的简单方法。

听录译者

收集自网络

翻译译者

Diecisiete

审核员

审核员VS

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fc3c3OrpKSI

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