Money, one of the hardest things to talk about in families. Eighty percent of children, eight
钱 家庭中最难讨论的话题之一 80%的孩子
zero, get to college having never had a conversation with their parents about money. Where it comes
在上大学前从未与父母讨论过“钱” 钱从哪里来
from. How it’s earned. How it’s spent. What debt is. You can’t just give your kids
怎么赚钱 如何花钱 什么是债务 对孩子 “授之以渔”比”授之以鱼”更重要
– launch them into their lives without giving them the tools. So I went to what I thought
所以我认为及早的和孩子探讨这个话题才更为明智
would be the smartest people to talk to about this. Warren Buffett’s bankers. They advise
股神巴菲特建议
the wealthiest families in the country and I thought they must know more, they can help
最富有的家庭应该更明白这个道理 并且能帮助别的家庭。
my family. Turns out that these wealthy families are making even more mistakes. And I walked
而结果却是这些富有的家庭反而会犯更多的错误
away from this conversation with a number of takeaways. Takeaway number one, show them
我从这次谈话中得到几个重要观点 观点一
the money. It’s incredibly important to talk to children about money at an age appropriate
给孩子们讲讲钱 在合适的年龄和孩子们谈钱非常重要
level but you need to talk. As Buffett’s bankers said to me, “I spoke to the richest
巴菲特告诉我：‘‘我曾和美国最有钱的妇人谈过 她说
woman in America and she said it’s a burden if I tell my children how much money they
知道有多少财产对孩子们来说是个负担‘’
have.” And he said, “It’s much more of a burden to burden them with ignorance
巴菲特还说：“如果忽略金钱观的教育
than to burden them with the truth.”
那比隐瞒事实更加后患无穷”
Number two, actually try to limit the influence of money. After doing all this research – in
观点二：试着减小金钱的影响 有这样的研究 在我的家庭里
our home we have chores, we have allowance. We do not overlap the two. Because if you
我们有家务劳动和奖励制度 但二者却没有直接的关系 因为
do it turns out the kids will do the chores just for the money. You get an allowance as
如果按劳付费就会让金钱成为孩子们劳动的唯一动力 你能得到奖励是因为你是这个家庭
part of being a member of our family. But, sorry, someone’s gotta put the dishes in
的重要成员之一 所以有的孩子会负责清理餐盘 有的负责铺床
the dishwasher. Someone’s gotta make their bed. You’re part of the team, you have to
你是家庭的一份子 你必须
take care of yourself. And the last thing is let them make mistakes. Buffett’s banker
学会照顾自己 最后一点：让他们犯错 巴菲特还纠正了我的一个错误做法
chided me when I told him we were kind of forcing our kids to put their money into different
当我告诉他我会强迫孩子们把钱总在
pots – spend, save, give away, et cetera. He said, “Let them decide for themselves.”
不同的地方 消费的 积攒的 如有结余还可以选择捐献 他说：“让孩子们自己决定”
And I said, “But what if they make a mistake? What if they wanted to buy something and they’ve
我反问道：“如果他们犯错呢？有需要买的东西时却发现钱全用来买糖果了
spent all their money on candy? What if they drive into a ditch?” And his answer was
如果钱都浪费了怎么办？” 巴菲特的回答就是我在幸福家庭的秘密一书中最最喜欢的格言
one of my favorite quotes in The Secrets of Happy Families. He said, “It’s much better
他说：“用6元去犯错
to make a mistake with a six dollar allowance than a 60,000 dollar a year salary or a six
总比拿6万年薪或者
million dollar inheritance.
6百万遗产犯错要强
The point is when the kids are young, when the stakes are lower, let them make their
关键是要趁着孩子们年龄尚幼 资金有限 允许他们
own mistakes. Then you’re there to pick them up. You don’t want to get that call
犯错 然后你再去教导他们 你不用等到
when they’re 24 and suddenly they’re in debt and they’ve made bad decisions and
当他们24岁突然欠债 犯了大错时
they’re really in a hole. Let your kids take more responsibility from a younger age.
再去纠正 让孩子们趁早承担起责任来
The most common pitfalls, I think, that parents make on the topic of money is thinking that
我认为家长们在拒绝讨论金钱问题时最普遍的担忧是
they’re afraid to talk about it. That they don’t want to be honest. And they also think
他们害怕探讨 不敢真诚的表达 并且
that they’re not passing along their values. Guess what? You are. If you’re worried and
害怕价值观传达错误 猜猜事实如何？的确是这样
you have anxiety about money, you’re gonna pass that anxiety on to your children. If
你对钱焦虑 那你就会把这种焦虑传递给孩子们 如果
you show them, by contrast, that you do have worries but this is how you’re working it
你的表现是这样的 那就是时候解决了
out. That you’re sitting down with your spouse, maybe with other family members, on
你应该和爱人或者其他家人平静的一起讨论这个问题
a regular basis to talk about money. That’s the lesson you want to convey.
这才是你该做的
Because if you’re showing those values then your kids will pick up those values also.
因为你的价值观同样会传递给你的孩子
Because if you’re showing those values the kids will pick them up also. To me it’s
对我来说
part of the larger takeaway I emerged from with this project. I occasionally lose my
这是我在这个研究中最大的收获 我有时候会情绪失控
temper. I occasionally yell at my children. And I always thought I’m just a bad dad
对孩子们叫喊 那时候会觉得自己不是个好爸爸
when that happens. I’m just an awful parent because I’m showing them that I’m not
我的失控表现让我觉得自己真是个糟糕的父母
always in control. What I’ve learned is losing control is actually natural and something
而现在我知道失控是很正常的事情 可以让孩子看到
kids need to see. But show them that when you do lose control that you also regain it
关键是让他们看到你同时
and solve the problem in real time. Solve the problem in front of them – that’s
在解决问题 迅速走出这种状态 当着孩子们的面解决问题
the message you want to give them. And the same applies to money. If you’re having
这才是你该教会孩子们的 这同样适用于金钱观的教育 如果你现在手头拮据 到计划明年买一辆车
a hard time, we’re gonna buy a car next year. And so already we’re not gonna buy
因此 我们不能在今年买
this thing this year or we’re gonna go on a less expensive vacation so we can save moneyfor a car.
或者我们今年在度假经费里省出一部分来作为购车预算
Be open with your kids about it. The actual reason? You’ll pass on good money values.
和孩子们平和的讨论这些 这样才能传递给他们正确的金钱观