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人设崩了以后该如何继续生活 – 译学馆
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人设崩了以后该如何继续生活

How to Survive a Loss of Reputation

WHAT IS REPUTATION
名誉是什么?
Reputation might be defined as the claim
名誉也许可以被定义为
that one can make on the goodwill of strangers
一个人可以获得陌生人对其产生好感的权利
it is what your name will mean to those who don’t know you,
对于那些不认识你 没花时间思考你的人来说
who spend almost no time thinking about you.
名誉是你的名字所象征的意义
It’s what you will get reduced to when you aren’t illuminated by love.
当你不再被大家爱戴了 你的名誉就会降低
How your reputation is assessed depends on the extent to which you have fulfilled or violated
你的名誉取决于你实现社会的理想抱负的水平
the ideals and aspirations of your society.
或与之背离逆反的程度
Most of us are properly known to and liked by five to ten people.
大多数人通常会被五到十个人所熟知和喜爱
When it comes to everyone else,
而当涉及所有人时
reputation is what will decide what we have been worth.
名誉便是决定我们价值的东西
WHY DO WE WANT A REPUTATION?
为何我们想拥有名誉?
Reputation can’t buy us love,
名誉不能买来爱
but it can provide us with those valuable proxies:
但它能为我们带来其他可贵的替代品
respect, honour and politeness.
尊重 荣誉以及礼貌
Those who are kind to us when we have reputation may not mean it,
当我们有好名声时 那些对我们友善的人可能并非真心
but they are at least making an effort.
但至少他们尽量善待我们
Not all of us crave equally the warmth that comes with a good reputation.
并非人人都渴望好名誉带来的温暖
Those with a particularly strong need for applause
那些极其渴望赞赏的人
tend to be those with a weak sense of their own acceptability.
往往对自身的认同感较弱
The cheer of the crowd is asked to
他们需要群众的欢呼
compensate for an innate feeling of shame.
来填补内心的羞耻感
We seek the validation of the world when we are inside
当我们内心不相信自己值得被认可时
unconvinced that we are quite deserving.
便会去寻求世界的认可
The more we have been humiliated, especially when young,
我们越是被羞辱——特别是年轻时
the more the goodwill of strangers is going to matter;
陌生人的好感就越重要
and conversely
相反地
the more we have tasted genuine affection
我们越多地体会到真诚的爱
the less interesting reputation will be.
就越对名誉不感兴趣
INSTABILITY OF REPUTATION
名誉的不稳定性
Reputation is gossamer thin;
名誉如蛛丝般柔弱易毁
or like a soapy bubble or an unstable chemical compound,
或像肥皂泡 或像不稳定的化合物
some metaphor to suggest the ease
用一些隐喻是为了说明
with which it can be torn or destroyed.
名誉是多么容易受到损害或摧毁
It’s so prone to disappear because it isn’t based
名誉很容易消失 这是因为
on knowledge or experience of one’s deep self,
名誉并没有建立在一个人源自深层自我的认知或经验之上
it’s made of the candy floss of hearsay and third hand gossip.
而是由不切实际的道听途说和流言蜚语发展而来的
It’s the unconscious supposition of people
名誉是人们对那些
who haven’t thought very deeply about who one is
从未认真了解过的
and have absolutely no wish to do so either;
而且也根本没想去真正了解的人的无意猜想
it’s what people who don’t care about us think about us.
名誉是那些不关心我们的人对我们的看法
This is what makes reputation so delightful
这会使得名誉朝着我们希望的方向发展时
when it is going our way.
会如此令人愉悦
Our nobility becomes part of the unthinking common-sense of the whole community.
我们的高尚品质变成了整个群体里无须思考的常识中的一部分
But this is also what makes things very tricky
但这也是当名誉一落千丈时
when reputation falls apart.
事情变得如此棘手的原因
The only way in which our good name might be rescued in the minds of others
唯一能拯救在他人心中我们的好名声的方法是
is if they gave us some thought – which is precisely
他人严谨地评价我们
what they have never done before and won’t now begin to either.
但他们从未做过 也不会这样做
OUR FOOLISHNESS
我们的愚蠢
Reputation will rise and fall according to
名誉会时好时坏
how closely we track or depart from the ideals of our society
这取决于我们与社会互相协调或背离程度
and these tend to be pegged to financial success,
而这些往往与经济上的成功
sexual propriety, decorum, marriage,
两性礼仪 礼节 婚姻
sobriety, the sanctity of family and the purity of children.
节制 家庭的神圣以及孩子的纯洁相关
The more of these ideals one flouts, the harsher will be the penalties.
我们越是轻视这些理念 惩罚就越严厉
Unfortunately, we are – all of us-error-prone animals,
不幸的是 所有人都是易犯错的生物
or, to put it more bluntly, idiots.
或者更直接地说 所有人都是傻子
We should say sorry to the universe everyday,
基于我们的本性
given how we are.
我们应该每天向全宇宙道歉
We’re impulsive, greedy, lustful, vain and selfish.
我们冲动 贪婪 好色 虚荣且自私
Which means that every year,
这意味着
a small but significant section of the population
每年都有不可忽视的一小群人
makes an apparently minor mistake
会犯一个明显的小错误
that causes terrible damage to others
这个小错误会对别人产生很严重的伤害
and blows up their life along the way.
也会毁掉他们的生活
Not for nothing does western civilisation have at its heart the example of Greek tragedy,
西方文明以希腊悲剧的例子为核心并非没有原因
which tells us of averagely good people brought low
希腊悲剧告诉我们 一般来说
by highly understandable, everyday kinds of folly
优秀的人会因犯了极易理解的日常低级错误而使其名声变差
– for which they pay an ultimate price.
为此他们付出了至高的代价
WHEN REPUTATION DISAPPEARS
当名誉不复存在时
The whole community hears in an instant and one is done for.
如果一瞬间某件事满城风雨 这个人便注定完蛋了
The punishment may be financial or legal,
他面临的可能是经济上或是法律上的惩罚
but the ultimate damage is psychological: one becomes a pariah.
但最大的伤害是心理上的:这个人会变成社会的弃儿
In the minds of all those who don’t think about us properly
在那些错误看待我们的人心里
(which is almost everyone), one is now a monster
(几乎包括了所有人) 这个人现在就是一个怪物
or a numbskull.
或是个傻瓜
For life.
为了生活
From now on, we going to need to
从现在开始
be looked at through the eyes of love
在我们有机会以任何身份复出前
before we ever stand a chance of re-emerging as in any way human,
我们需要活在爱的目光中
that is, deserving of even a little pity or understanding.
也就是说 我们应该得到一点点怜悯或理解
Only through love can we be remembered to have once been a baby,
只有通过爱 别人才能记得我们曾经也是婴儿
who was innocent, who struggled,
曾经天真无邪 曾经努力奋斗
and who later made mistakes from passing weakness rather than evil.
后来因为弱点而非邪恶 犯了错误
Only through love
只有通过爱
are there any other sides of the story.
才有故事的其他方面
As a result, all those who are not our intimates
结果 所有那些非亲友
become sources of sure-fire damning judgement.
都成为了恶毒评论的来源
We know from the outset that they will hate or condemn us.
我们一开始就知道他们会憎恨或谴责我们
It becomes impossible to go to a party or (even) walk down the street.
我们没法去参加聚会 甚至走在大街上都无地自容
One probably has to move town.
有人可能得搬家才能继续生活
Suicidal thoughts become harder to push away.
自杀的念头越来越难以摆脱
Ambitions have to change entirely.
我们追求的目标必须要彻底改变了
Everything that depends on the minds of people in general is now impossible.
凡是靠人心的事 现在都不可能了
‘What people might think’ disappears from the calculation;
不要再计较“人们可能会怎么想”了
it’s a foregone conclusion.
一切已是定局
They’ll think – always – that one is a demon.
他们会一直认为那个人是魔鬼
When the reputation-less rediscover
如果名誉受损的人重新发现
close friends and family ( and they almost always do ),
亲密的朋友和家人(他们几乎总是能看出来)
it isn’t coincidental or a cheap excuse:
这并非巧合 也不是廉价的借口
it’s because they can see, more clearly than ever,
因为他们能够看出来 而且比以前更清楚
that these are the people,
这些人是唯一的
the only people,
能真正了解他们的人
who know them properly
而且 这些人
and can therefore examine them with any degree of subtlety.
可以因此而通过任何微妙之处来审视他们
For everyone else, one has disappeared into a single word of insult.
对他人来说 一个人已经因一个侮辱性的词语而销声匿迹了
THE LACK OF REDEMPTION
缺乏救赎
In older, more religious societies,
在更古老 更笃信宗教的社会中
there was the possibility of apology before a divine being,
人们有可能向神灵道歉
a period of penance and then, eventually forgiveness.
经过一段时间的苦修 最后得到宽恕
But thats one of the handy mechanisms we unknowingly dismantled
但这是在我们认定上帝是虚构的时候
when we decided that God was a fiction.
不知不觉中拆除的便利机制之一
In a secular world,
在世俗的世界里
we have been left with only one tool,
我们只剩下了一个工具
the legal system, which levies fines and prison sentences,
那就是法律系统 它征收罚款 执行监禁
but it isn’t in the business of restoring reputation
但是它不从事恢复名誉的业务
-and doesn’t get involved in most of the areas which cause it to be lost in the first place.
也不参与最初导致名誉丧失的大部分领域
There is, quite literally, in most cases,
在大多数情况下
no way to recover reputation.
确实没办法恢复名誉
The sentence is life-long.
名誉的判决是终身的
We suffer also because we live in such vast societies.
我们受苦还因为我们住在大千世界里
Recovery of reputation might have been possible
当我们生活在大约一百人的部落里时
when we lived in tribes of a hundred or so.
恢复名誉是可能的
You could go around and explain things in person, tent by tent.
你可以探访一个一个的帐篷 亲自去解释
No such chance when it’s a case of
但是在需要改变几亿人的想法的时候
having a few hundred million minds to change.
就没有这样的机会了
LIFE WITHOUT REPUTATION
低调生活
So begins that peculiar challenge,
于是 这特殊的挑战便开始了
leading a life without a reputation,
过着低调的生活
a feat in its way as arduous as hanging on to a cliff-face with bare hands in high wind.
就像在大风中徒手攀岩一样艰难
A few moves suggest themselves.
有些措施是明显有效的
For a start, acceptance: of oneself, of the situation,
首先是接受 接受自己 接受环境
of one’s misdeeds and of the darkness. Then,
接受自己的错误行为 接受黑暗
the construction of a new kind of communal life,
然后建设一种新的公共生活
one built around astonishing sincerity and vulnerability.
一种建立在极其真诚和脆弱基础上的生活
One now has no option but to say it like it is.
在这种生活下人们别无选择 只有实话实说
There is no need for yet more shame.
没有必要再感到羞愧了
A whole new set of friends is called for
我们需要一群全新的朋友
-before whom one can be truly oneself,
在他们面前 我们可以做真正的自己
in a way one perhaps never could be before things fell apart.
但在一切分崩离析之前我们可能永远都无法做到这一点
It helps immensely if these friends have themselves lost reputation.
如果这些朋友也名誉扫地了 那就更能觅知音了
Ex-convicts are a great idea.
找有前科的人是一个好主意
And fallen business people and politicians.
还有没落的商人和政客
They will have a kindness to them open only
他们对其有一颗仁慈之心
to those who have suffered infinitely for their errors.
只会对那些因他们的错误而遭受无限痛苦的人敞开胸怀
There is only so empathetic and thoughtful that blameless people will ever be.
只有那些没有过错的人才会如此的善解人意
Animals are good too; they rarely judge.
动物也很好 它们很少评头品足
The immense open spaces of nature offer valuable perspective as well,
广阔的自然空间也提供了有价值的视角
as do history books.
就像历史书一样
Lots of thoughts have to be avoided in order not to howl with agony.
为了不痛苦地哀嚎 许多想法必须消除
It isn’t the life anyone would have wanted at the high water mark,
这是任何一个处于人生巅峰的人都不会想要的生活
but it’s a life nevertheless – and one
然而这就是真正的生活
we should all contemplate, whatever our situation,
无论身处何种境遇 我们都应该思虑
to prepare ourselves for the day
以迎接这一天的到来——
(which can’t be guaranteed never to come )
(不能保证这一天永远不来)
when we might be forced to walk the earth without the cloak of a reputation.
就是我们在没有名誉外衣的情况下 被迫在世上艰难前行的那一天
Up to school of life, we believe that confidence is a skill we can all learn.
对于校园生活来说 我们认为自信是一个可以学习的技能
Our confidence prompt cards are designed to help us master this essential skill.
我们设计的自信速记卡片可以帮助我们掌握这一重要的技能
Click now to learn more.
如果想了解更多的学习方法 请点击关注我们吧

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视频概述

名誉是什么?为什么那么多人对名誉趋之若鹜?名誉扫地之后该怎样继续生活?本视频会给你带来不一样的价值观体验。

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