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如何避免讲话被人打断 – 译学馆
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How To Stop People From Talking Over You

你有没有经历过 在一群人中当你刚要说什么
Have you ever been out in a group of people just start to say something
or tell a story and then somebody cuts you off?
或许那是个朋友 但也无所谓
Maybe it was a friend, but it really doesn’t matter,
因为不管他是谁 突然间 你的脑子就会卡壳
because whoever it was, all of a sudden, you get stuck in your head;
you don’t know how to get back into conversation
and it can really sap your confidence.
如果你经历经历过这些 那今天我有一个好消息
If this has happened to you,today I have good news
because we are going to be sharing with you six tips
to make sure that it doesn’t keep happening.
And in order to help me with this video,
我邀请了《掌控魅力》的另一半 我的好朋友本
I am bringing in the other half of Charisma on Command and my best friend, Ben.
Now, Ben has been with Charisma on Command since the very beginning;
he’s not been on camera because he’s been doing a lot of the business stuff,
but in order to hit our goal of making twice as much content,
he is going to start sharing the content that he’s been helping me with since the beginning.
那么为了早点开始 有请本
so in order to get this going, here is Ben.
So the first thing I see all the time is a misuse of pregnant pauses.
Pauses are great;
it can be a way to hook people that are listening
and it can create rapt attention on you in suspense especially in stories,
但是 你得将停顿用在句中
but, you have to put your pauses in the middle of your sentences.
If you just put all your pauses at the end of your sentences,
可能会制造打断你的机会 尤其是一群亢奋的人
you’re creating an opportunity to get cut off especially in a group where everyone’s excited.
只要你停顿太久 并且大家觉得你说完了
As soon as you brake for too long and people think you’re done talking,
someone else is going to jump in,
不是因为他们不想听你说 而是觉得你讲完了
not because they don’t want to hear you, but because they think you’re finished.
还有 第二件事 要兴奋
Okay, the second thing — be excited.
是的 人类有镜像神经元
Now humans have mirror neurons.
That means that your listeners are going to reflect
whatever emotion you are displaying when you’re speaking.
You get the most interesting day in the world,
but if when you tell people about it,
你缺乏趣味 讲话慢吞吞 也没有手势
you’re boring and you’re slow and you’re not gesticulating,
一个调子下来 那么你将失去所有人的注意
and you’re monotone, you’re going to lose the attention of everybody.
So if you want to tell a story and you want people to pay attention to you,
you have to act excited and you have to convey excitement.
第三点 超明显但也一直有人这么做 讲大声
Third one, super obvious but I see it all the time — be loud,
I don’t mean shout.
但不要轻声轻语 不要低头看脚 而且要有手势
But don’t whisper, don’t look down at your feet, and you have to gesticulate.
身体语言和讲话都要有力 这样大家才能听清你
Be loud with your body and with your words just so that people can hear you,
有时大家不和你讲话 不是因为不想听你说
so that people aren’t talking not because they don’t want to hear you
but because they don’t even know you’re talking.
在喧闹的酒吧 只有挨着你的人可以聊天
You’re in a loud bar and only the people right next you can talk,
so a group of six becomes two groups of three,
and now you feel like people aren’t listening to what you have to say.
第四点 你得表现出你说的话值得听
Now the fourth thing — you have to act like you deserve to be heard.
无论谁 或是凯文·哈特 威尔·史密斯还是巨石强森
It doesn’t matter who it is; it can be Kevin Hart, Will Smith, The Rock —
当他们在一群人中 尤其是一帮兴奋的人
when they’re in a group especially in an excited group of people,
不管是采访 或哪个朋友或是舞台上的一帮人
in an interview or friends whatever it is, a panel on a stage,
大家会愿意聊天 而且也会讲话
people will want to talk and so they’ll be speaking,
what they’re saying will trigger something in the listener,
and someone will jump in to interrupt.
What happens is for a brief moment in time, two people are speaking,
both really charismatic people,
they just speak like they expect to be listened to,
所以一直讲话 说完了 停下来看着彼此
so they’ll keep talking, finish what they’re saying, and then stop and look at the person.
If every single time that you’re in a group,
一有人发出点声响 你就停下来不说话看着他们
someone makes a noise, and you stop talking and look at them,
你就会崩溃掉 会一直有人打断你的
you’re going to get destroyed;you’re going to get interrupted all the time.
所以呢 说下去 要觉得有人愿意听你讲话
So speak like you think you deserve to be heard.
The flip side of this is it can be dangerous if you abuse it,
所以别欺负人 讲完也要和别人分享一下焦点
so don’t be a bully and do share the spotlight once you’re done talking.
第五件事就是说话紧凑 别漫谈
And the fifth thing is be tight. Don’t ramble.
因为一个故事讲两分钟很棒 五分钟就无趣的话
because if a story is amazing in two minutes but boring in five minutes,
you have to keep it tight,
讲关键 说重点 情节起伏有序 见好就收
hit your spots, hit your punchlines, get your highs and lows then be finished.
对话不是独白 你说呢?
A conversation isn’t a monologue, right?
你不是舞台上的演员 你讲完你的话
You’re not an actor on a stage so you say your thing
但为了剧情紧凑 也要让别人讲话
but then let other people speak by keeping it tight.
事实上 讲话的方式远比内容重要
The truth is, how you speak is often more important than what you talk about
尤其当群组互动 想要吸引注意又不被打断时
especially when it comes to group dynamics, captivating a group, and not getting interrupted.
但有些事情一旦你说起 很少会被打断
But there are a couple things that if you do talk about them, you’re even less likely to get interrupted
and you’re more likely to have everybody hang on to what you’re saying.
Now I think there’s three things that really can kill it and make sure that you never get interrupted.
第一是谈论让大家感觉良好的事情 对吧
The first is talking about things that make people feel good, right?
所以谈论些赞美的话 有趣的故事
So these can be compliments, these can be stories that are fun,
或者搞笑的事情 能逗人大笑的事情
and these can be things that are funny and have people laughing.
如果让你的听众感觉良好 他们就会愿意倾听
If you have people that are listening to you feeling good, they’re going to want to keep listening to you.
如果你讲的事情无趣 让人有压力 或者听着令人恼怒的话
If you talk about things that are boring or stressful or aggravating to hear about,
显然 大家会想打断你
then obviously, people are going to want to cut you off
换个有趣轻松 感觉舒适的话题
just to switch to something that’s more fun for them and makes them feel good.
Now that doesn’t mean that you can’t complain
especially about something that’s happening in your life
你想让大家和你有所共鸣 有所关联
that you want people to connect with you on or relate about or,
you know, you just want to get something off your chest,
but, instead of just coming to a group and dumping it on them,
喋喋不休的抱怨 没人喜欢爱抱怨的人
and just complaining which nobody likes complainers,
而是把它揉进故事里 包装成吸引人的事情
wrap it in a story; wrap it in something that’s riveting.
所以 如果你老板做了什么缺德事
So if your boss did something shitty,
要这么说“天啊 你们一定得听听 今天上班时候……”
go, “Oh my god, you guys need to hear this. I walked into work today and…”
等等 先吸引他们注意力然后再讲你的故事
buh buh buh buh buh, now tell them your story after you’ve hooked people,
tell them the ups and downs of your day,
and create a listener experience that’s more enjoyable
even though what you’re talking about isn’t positive.
第三是和听众有关 对吧
The third thing is related to them, right?
If you’re in a group of people
and you know they love sports or they love a certain TV show
or they love talking about philosophy,
you talk about that thing,
大家参与话题的可能性就很大 是吧
and you’re way more likely to have them engaged, right?
If you grab a bunch of people that really like sports and start talking about politics
or you grab a bunch of people that really like politics
大谈体育 肯定不得人心
and you talking about sports, you’re going to lose the group.
Now, there’s a really easy way to kind of make anything that you’re saying
seem like it’s for the group
那就是迅速的以“天啊 你肯定喜欢这个”开头
and that’s by just starting with a quick, “Oh my god, you’re going to love this…”
你先说“天啊 你肯定会喜欢这个的……”
You say, “Oh my god, you’re going to love this…”
then you go into what you’re going to say,
听众会觉得是适合他们听的 自然会有更多参与
the listener feels like it’s for them; they’re going to be more engaged.
One last thing that I really think is important to get across,
it’s not the end of the world if you get cut off.
事实上 在群体谈话中
The truth is, in a group conversation
尤其是一群亢奋的朋友 每个人都会被打断
especially with a bunch of friends who are excited, everybody gets cut off.
It could be some great conversations
精力异常充沛的人们来回发言 分享彼此观念
with an incredible dynamic of people jumping in and out and sharing with each other, right?
如果经常被人打断谈话 或许这六点建议会有用
If this happens to you all the time then, hopefully, these six tips are helpful.
Maybe one of them or two of them or all six of them resonate with you
and you can see how you’re not doing that thing.
But you’re going to get cut off occasionally
这也不是世界末日 所以别往心里去
and that’s not the end of the world so don’t take it personally.
It’s not necessarily reflection of you; it’s just how group conversations go.
So I hope that you guys enjoy those tips on
how to not get cut off in groups of people.
希望你采纳意见并去运用 因为它们确实管用
And I hope that you take those tips and use them because they really do work.
Now one of the things I’m extremely excited for is the fact that
now we can make twice as much content
coz we have both Ben and my brain working on creating it,
好消息是我们需要你们的反馈 还有你们的意见
and the good news is that means that we need your feedback, we need your advice,
如果有你想看的 我们又没有涉足的话题
so if there’s any topics that we haven’t covered that you would like to see,
write them in the comments.
如果有你想看的角色 比如过气的名人 告诉我们
If there’s any characters you’d like to see, broken down famous people, let us know.
另外 这是本 第一次出镜
In addition, this is one of Ben’s first time on camera.
他在舞台上做过不少演讲 但很少出现在镜头前
He’s done a lot of speaking from the stage but rarely, on camera,
this is pretty much the first time for him
如果你对他有什么反馈意见 尽量温柔些哈
so if you have a feedback that you’d like to give him in the kindest way possible,
please leave that in the comments below.
还有 我们将会在Instagram上分享大量视频内容
Also, we’re going to have a lota lot more content coming out on Instagram
如果你想关注我们 账号是@CharismaOnCommand
so if you want to follow us there @CharismaOnCommand
or you can follow my personal one
where I do all kinds of random stuff,
including my attempt at becoming a musician,
你可以关注我 @CharlieHoupert 或本 @IAmBenAltman
you can follow me @CharlieHoupert or Ben, @IAmBenAltman.
如果你喜欢这个视频 每周还想收看更多
If you enjoyed this video and you want more every single week,
now twice a week,
If you enjoyed this video and you want more every single week, now twice a week,
and I look forward to seeing you in the next video.