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如何停止过度思考I:你总过度思考的 4 个原因

How to Stop Overthinking Part 1: The 4 Unconscious Reasons You Overthink Everything

I had a client who made a mistake at work.
我的客户在工作中犯了个错误
Let’s call her Layla. Now, her mistake wasn’t catastrophic,
我们可以叫她Layla 其实她的错误并不严重
but she spent the next week worrying about it.
但接下来一周的时间里她都为此担忧不已
She couldn’t sleep, she couldn’t focus on anything else.
睡都睡不着 干什么也无法专心
She just kept rehashing this problem around in her brain over and over and over.
在脑子里一遍又一遍回想着这件事
It made her stomach hurt. She couldn’t enjoy anything,
这使她胃疼得什么也吃不了
and all she could do was think about her mistake just over and over again.
她所能做的就是一遍遍回想她犯的错
She just kept thinking, “Oh, I am so stupid.”
她不停地想 “天呐 我真蠢”
She would imagine handling the scenario like 50 different ways,
她还幻想了50种不同的解决方案
and she just couldn’t stop rehashing it in her mind.
不停在脑海中重复
Does this sound familiar? Let’s let’s talk about overthinking.
这听起来熟悉么?那我们来谈谈过度思考
It’s also called rumination,
它又叫反刍思维
and it’s basically when your mind won’t shut up.
大致是说你的大脑在不停思考
You think about things over and over and over again.
你一遍又一遍地想事情
Even the most happy or exciting things in your life
即使是你生活中最快乐激动的事情
can be tainted by rumination.
也会被破坏
So thinking, you know, “I’m excited for this date tonight”
可以想想“今晚的约会让我激动”
turns into “I wonder if they liked me”
会变成“对方到底喜欢我吗?”
and then into “Oh, why did I say that thing?” and
然后是“我为什么要说这些?”以及
“I am such an idiot. I should have said this thing instead.”
“我怕不是个白痴 我应该说点别的”
But overthinking is super common.
但过度思考是非常普遍的
Research suggests that
研究表明
73% of 25- to 35-year-olds chronically overthink,
25-35岁年龄段 有73%的人长期过度思考
along with 52% of people ages 45 to 55.
45-55年龄段中 则有52%的人会这样
In this video we’re going to talk about
在这段视频中
the unconscious reasons you overthink everything
我们来谈谈无意识过度思考的原因
and how to catch yourself when you do it.
以及当你这样做时 该如何控制自己
This video is all about learning to recognize your thinking patterns.
本视频内容为 学习认清自己的思维模式
And then in the next five videos in this series
在本系列接下来的五个视频中
you’ll learn really practical skills to stop overthinking and rumination.
你将学到停止过度思考和反刍思维的实操技能
So here are seven signs that you’re an overthinker.
以下7种迹象表明你是一个过度思考者
疗法概述
This video is sponsored by BetterHelp.
本视频由BetterHelp赞助播出
BetterHelp provides licensed professional counselors in your area
BetterHelp在你的所在地提供
who you can contact from the comfort of your own home.
有执照的咨询师 你在家中就可以联系他们
You can reach out to these counselors through
你可以通过短信 电话和视频等方式
messaging and also through calls and video calls.
来联系这些咨询师
And they make it really easy for you to get the customized help you need
他们会让你轻松获得定制化服务
to change your thinking patterns
来改变你的思维模式
and improve your mental health.
改善心理健康情况
If you’d like to learn more about BetterHelp,
如果你想了解更多关于BetterHelp的信息
please check out the link in the description below for 10% off your first month.
请点击详情页的链接 第一个月打9折喔
Number one: You have a hard time sleeping.
第一 难以入睡
So the minute you lay down you start to go over everything you did wrong.
你一躺下就开始回顾你做错的每件事情
You obsess over everything you said.
你对说过的话耿耿于怀
Your brain won’t shut off.
你的大脑无法停止思考
Number two: you struggle to make decisions or you second-guess them.
第二 你做决定时犹豫不决 举棋不定
Now, just as an aside, confident people aren’t more likely to be right;
说句题外话 自信的人并非更能做出正确的选择
they’re more willing to make imperfect choices.
但他们更愿意做出不完美的选择
You spend a lot of time thinking that
你花很多时间去想
you might be happier if you’d taken a different job
如果换份工作 可能比现在更快乐
or wondering why you didn’t leave a situation earlier.
或者后悔为什么没早点离职
Self-reflection leads to action;
自我反思使人行动起来
rumination leads to stagnation.
反刍思维则使人停滞不前
Okay. Number three: You relive embarrassing moments in your mind repeatedly.
第三 你会在脑海中反复重温尴尬片段
So you constantly rehash conversations
你脑海里持续重现当时的对话
or you dwell on unpleasant experiences.
或是沉湎于不愉快的经历
Number four: You ask a lot of “what if” or “why me” questions.
第四 你总是杞人忧天 自怨自艾
Number five: You have trouble concentrating.
第五 你难以集中注意力
You’re so busy with your thoughts
你总是胡思乱想
that you can’t focus on the person in front of you.
所以无法专注于眼前的人
Number six: You always try to read between the lines.
第六 你总尝试过度解读
You make assumptions about what other people mean.
你总是妄自揣测他人的意思
When your boss calls, you assume that it’s something bad.
当老板打来电话 你想着肯定没好事
Or you seek constant reassurance.
或是你缺乏安全感
You’re always asking, you know, oh, “Are you mad at me?”
你总问“你是不是生我气了?”
Or you bring up the same topic with a trusted friend over and over again,
或者向你信任的朋友反复提起同样的话题
like, oh, “Am I annoying?”
比如说“我招人烦吗?”
or “Do you think my husband loves me?”
或者“你觉得我老公爱我吗?”
Okay. And lastly, how you know that you’re overthinking
最后 该怎么知道自己在过度思考呢?
is because overthinking is unproductive.
过度思考没有任何成效
It just doesn’t help anything.
对事情本身没有任何帮助
So for example, you can worry over and over again about a test,
比如 你一遍遍地担心考试是在过度思考
or you can study and prepare for a test.
而学习备考则不是
Layla can spend all week thinking about how stupid she is,
Layla用一周时间去想她有多蠢是在过度思考
or she could talk with her boss about how to fix the problem.
找老板商讨一下要怎么弥补错误则不是
You might think that overthinking is healthy or helpful,
你可能认为过度思考是健康的或者有用的
but Amy Morin, the author of 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do,
但《内心强大比什么都重要》的作者艾米·莫林
said, “Overthinking is also different than self-reflection.
曾说 过度思考不是自我反思
Healthy self-reflection is about learning something about yourself
健康的自我反思是在了解自己
or gaining a new perspective about a situation. It’s purposeful.
或站在新角度看问题 它是有意义的
Overthinking involves dwelling on how bad you feel
过度思考是沉浸在糟糕的情绪中
and thinking about all the things you have no control over.
以及担心自己无法控制的事
It won’t help you develop new insight.”
它并不能帮助你有新的见解
In my opinion, there’s four types of unproductive overthinking.
在我看来 无用的过度思考分四种
There’s depressive rumination—
首先是抑郁性反刍思维
so this is just only thinking about negative events,
也就是只考虑负面事件
chewing it over and over and over again.
一遍遍地“咀嚼”它
Depressive rumination says things like,
抑郁性反刍思考者会说诸如
”oh, Why is life so awful? Why am I such a failure?
“生活为何这么糟糕?我为何这么失败?
Why is this world so cruel? Why can’t I ever be happy?” things like that.
世界为何如此残酷?我为何一直不快乐?”的话
The second type of overthinking is anxious rumination or worry.
第二种是焦虑性沉思或叫杞人忧天
You might analyze past situations and imagine future catastrophes.
你可能会分析过去的情况 想象未来的灾难
You might think, oh, “What’s gonna happen?
你可能会想 “会发生什么事?
Is World War III coming?”
第三次世界大战要来了吗?”
or “What if I did the wrong thing?”
或是“我要是做错了怎么办?”
Okay. The third type of overthinking is decision paralysis or choice fatigue. Right?
第三种是决策瘫痪或叫选择疲劳 对吧?
You overthink decisions until you’re frozen in inaction.
你做决定时会再三考虑直到不了了之
You’re afraid to take the wrong action, so you take no action at all.
你害怕做错 所以就干脆什么也不做
But even making the wrong decision
但即使做出错误的决定
is better than making no decision at all.
也比根本不做决定要好
Okay. The fourth type of overthinking I think is a subset of social anxiety:
好了 第四种过度思考属于社会焦虑的范畴
“What did she think of me? I should have responded this way. I am such an idiot.”
“她会怎么想我?我应该这么回应的 我真傻”
You know. “What did he mean when he said whatever he said?”
“他说那些话是什么意思?”
So this fourth type is all about worrying about social situations.
所以第四种是对社交场景的担忧
Now, rumination is the technical term for overthinking,
反刍思维是过度思考的专业术语
and it literally means chewing the cud.
它的字面意思是咀嚼反刍的食物
Now, I grew up in an agricultural society,
我在农场里长大
and in case you didn’t know,
怕你不太了解 我解释一下
cows will regurgitate their food into their mouth, chew it, swallow it, and repeat.
牛会把胃里的食物送回嘴里
chew it, swallow it, and repeat, and they’ll do that over and over again,
重新咀嚼 吞咽 一遍又一遍重复这个过程
and then it’s going to go through four different chambers of their stomachs.
最后让这些食物穿过4个不同的胃腔
They spend a third of their day ruminating.
它们每天要花三分之一的时间反刍
And if you’re a cow, that’s great.
如果你是头牛 那这样很好
It helps you process your food.
能帮助你消化食物
But if you’re a human,
但如果你是人类
ruminating can harm your mental health.
思维反刍会危害你的心理健康
Overthinking is associated with depression,
过度思考与抑郁 焦虑
anxiety, PTSD, and OCD.
创伤后应激障碍和强迫症都有关
But it’s a chicken-and-an-egg situation, right?
但这是先有鸡还是先有蛋的问题
Overthinking causes anxiety and depression,
过度思考引发焦虑和抑郁
and anxiety and depression can contribute to overthinking.
焦虑和抑郁又反过来使人过度思考
But overthinking is not your identity.
但过度思考没有和你绑定
It’s not who you are. It’s a habit you learned.
它不是与生俱来的 而是你后天形成的习惯
It’s something that you do.
是你所做的事情
But it’s not a permanent trait.
但它不是一种永久的特质
You can learn the skills to stop overthinking,
你可以学习停止过度思考的技巧
and when you practice them, you can change your brain.
当你练习这些技巧时 会改变你的思维
So if overthinking is so harmful,
如果过度思考如此有害
why do we do it?
那我们为什么要那样做?
When it comes to our minds,
因为对我们的大脑来说
we keep doing things that we accidentally reward.
我们会一直做那些能获得意外奖励的事
We keep overthinking because we get some
我们一直过度思考是因为
short-term benefit from it.
我们能从中获得了一些短期好处
So here’s four rewards you may get from overthinking.
下面是你能从过度思考中得到的四种“好处”
The first one is a false sense of control.
第一 虚假的掌控感
You might believe that if you analyze a situation to death,
你可能会觉得 只要穷思竭虑分析一件事
you might be able to control everything about it.
就能控制它的一切
The second one is you convince yourself that you can avoid any chance of messing up
第二 你说服自己 只要凡事努力做到完美
by trying to be perfect instead.
就能避免任何搞砸的机会
So you have to think over and over and over again about how to be perfect.
所以你一遍遍想着如何把事情做到尽善尽美
The third way that overthinking kind of is rewarding
过度思考的第三个好处
is you can’t tolerate uncertainty.
来自于你不能容忍不确定性
You’re addicted to reassurance and knowing outcomes,
你沉迷于那种安全感和可预知结果的能力
or at least trying to control outcomes by thinking about every possible outcome.
或至少试图通过想到每种可能性来掌控结果
You think that if you plan out every single detail,
你觉得只要精心安排每个细节
you can make everything perfect.
就能做到事事完美
Now, if you look carefully at these rewards,
现在 如果你仔细看这些“好处”
they’re all about avoiding fear.
会发现全是在逃避恐惧
There’s something deep down that you’re scared of,
在你内心深处有让你害怕的事情
and you think that if you just compulsively think about it
只要你强迫性地去想它
that you can control it and keep yourself safe
你就可以掌控它 保证自己的安全
when instead it, that backfires.
然而 往往会事与愿违的
Okay. The fourth reward that comes from overthinking is you imagine that
第四个过度思考的“好处”是你把
overthinking is some kind of important work.
过度思考想象成一项重要工作
You feel like you’re doing something when you’re thinking about something.
你认为思考了就相当于做了
Obviously, overthinking backfires in the long run. Right?
很明显 过度思考从长远看会适得其反 对吧?
It messes with your sleep. It messes with your mental health.
它扰乱你的睡眠 影响你的心理健康
But even if we convince ourselves that overthinking is working for us,
即使我们能说服自己 过度思考对我们有好处
it probably isn’t.
事实也可能并非如此
So first we need to get really clear:
所以我们首先要搞清楚
What’s the difference between harmful overthinking and problem-solving?
有害的过度思考和解决问题有什么区别?
Overthinking focuses on the negative.
过度思考让你关注事情消极的一面
It’s fear-based.
它是基于恐惧的
But it also focuses on the things you can’t control.
但它也会让你关注那些你无法控制的事
So for example, let’s say you’re worried about an upcoming test.
比如 你在为即将到来的考试担心
Productive stress can help you take action, to study harder,
有益的压力帮助你付诸行动 更用功学习
to work a little bit more on the project
在这个课题上多下功夫
and maybe reach out to classmates to form a study group.
也可以和同学们一起组建学习小组
Productive stress might make you sleep a little less,
有益的压力可能使你睡眠变少一点
but you’ll use that time to prepare for a situation.
但你会用这些时间来做准备
Overthinking, on the other hand, is all about spending a lot of time
反观过度思考 它会让你花大量时间
worrying about what questions will be on the test
担心考试会出什么问题
or pondering your parent’s reaction if you fail.
或幻想如果你考得不好你父母会是什么反应
Both of these things are things that are out of your control,
这两件事都并非你能控制的
and they lead to catastrophizing thoughts
它们还会使你不停往坏处想
like, oh, “Why am I such a failure?
就像 “我为什么这么失败?
Why can’t things ever go my way?
为什么事情不按我想的发展?
Why can’t I handle this?” Right?
为什么我解决不了它?”
If you actually have a problem you need to face,
如果你真有需要面对的问题
uh like you’re considering an important life decision,
比如说你正在考虑一个重要的人生决定
you may need to spend a lot of time considering your options
你可能需要对你的选择深思熟虑
or reviewing your memories.
或者回顾自己的记忆
But never worry in your head.
但是不要在脑子里忧虑
Productive thinking makes things more concrete and actionable.
创造性思考使事情更加具体可行
So set a time limit for yourself,
所以给自己设定个时间限制
and then write it down, say it out loud,
写下来 大声说出来
diagram it on a piece of paper, make a pros-and-cons list,
把它画到纸上 列一个利弊表
explore all the the aspects of a situation,
想清楚一件事的各个方面
but not just the negative or the compulsive.
但不仅是好或坏这两方面
You can also combat shame by telling someone.
你也可以通过告诉别人来减轻羞愧感
You can combat cognitive distortions by asking for someone’s perspective.
也可以通过询问别人的观点来对抗认知扭曲
But the whole purpose of this is, like,
但最终目的都是
don’t let these thoughts, these overthinking thoughts
不要让这些想法 这些过度思考
stay vague and cloudy in your head all day.
整天模糊不清地呆在脑子里
If you think that you need overthinking to be successful,
如果你认为你需要过度思考来取得成功
you might need to ask yourself, you know,
你可能需要问问自己
“How much time am I spending on this?
“我要为此花费多长时间?
Is it actually helping me?”
这真的有帮助吗?”
And then let’s get honest about how it may be negatively impacting you.
然后我们得承认它的消极影响
These are areas like sleep, work, relationships,
包括睡眠 工作 人际关系
your physical health, stress, tension headaches, stomachaches.
你的身体健康 压力 紧张 头疼和胃疼
The truth is that overthinking actually makes you less creative
事实上 过度思考会降低你的创造力
and less likely to solve problems.
也不太会对解决问题有帮助
Okay. So there’s so much we can learn about overthinking.
关于过度思考 我们能学到很多
I started writing one video about it,
开始我只准备了一个视频
and I ended up writing six.
最后却录了六个视频
So in the next video I’m going to teach eight strategies to stop overthinking.
下个视频 教大家克服过度思考的八大策略
These are some really practical things you can do
会有一些实际的方法可以帮助你
to change how you think, to change your bad habits
改变你的思维方式 戒掉你的坏习惯
and uh find a lot more sense of peace and calm inside of your brain.
寻求大脑中平和冷静的感觉
So stay tuned.
敬请期待
Thank you for watching, and take care.
感谢收看 大家多保重

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视频概述

过度思考(思维反刍)在人群中非常普遍,那么它对我们的日常生活有什么影响?我们为什么会过度思考?希望本视频对你有所帮助~

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收集自网络

翻译译者

念念

审核员

审核员DJS

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vz3PG1hjzC4

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