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如何做到不在意别人的想法?

How To Stop Caring About What Others Think – Butterfly Method

这里是激励胶囊
Improvement Pill here.
如果你是个太在乎
If you’re someone who cares way too much
别人对你看法的人
about what others think of you,
那么这段视频是为你准备的
then this video is for you.
请仔细观看 因为我恰好
So pay close attention because I’m gonna show
将要告诉你你该做些什么
you exactly what you need to do.
我们会过于在意别人
Now the reason why we care so much about
对我们看法的原因在于人类是社会动物
what others think of us is because we humans are social animals.
人类的生存一直是依赖着
Our survival has always been dependent on
人类合作的能力
our abilities to work together
因为我们是社会动物 所以不论你是否喜欢合作
so whether you like it or not because we are social animals
我们都会不自觉地将周围人划分等级
we subconsciously sort the people in our environment into hierarchies.
根据每个人的权利和地位等等
We rank everyone by their power, status and whatever else
我们将他们像金字塔一样从高到低排列
We value from top to bottom like a pyramid.
比如你正处于合作的环境
For example, if you were working in a corporate setting
有一份传统办公室工作
something like a typical office job
你将会有一个类似
you’re gonna have a hierarchy that’s
下图的等级制度
sort of looks like this.
你的老板和上级都在塔顶
Your boss and his superiors are all the way at the top
你在这里
you’re over here and
实习生和一些不那么重要的人
the interns and people with less important positions
排在你下面
are ranked below you.
我们会过于在乎别人想法
The reason we care so much about what others think of us
是因为人类通常很关心
is because we humans are always concerned
自己在等级阶层中正处的位置
about where we currently stand in our hierarchy.
每个人都有个无意识的目标
It’s everyone’s unconscious goal to
就是努力获得更接近顶部的地位
try to secure a position closer to the top
因为等级越高越好
because well things are better up there
你能在那得到更多敬佩
you get more respect,
也能有更多权利去做事
you have more power to do things
你不需要听从别人
you don’t have to listen to anyone else
你赚的钱越多 人们就越喜欢你
you make more money people like you more
这样的好处还有很多很多
the list goes on and on and on it
重点是一般位于高处更好
the point is it’s generally better to be at the top
这就是为什么我们下意识里
and that’s why we all subconsciously
都想往高处奋斗的原因
try to get there
如果你现在处于自身
now if you’re at the middle or
阶层的中部或是底层
at the bottom of your hierarchy
你就会总是在意别人对你的看法
then you’re gonna care a lot about what others think
因为你需要不断地
of you because you need to be constantly
观察别人的反应
paying attention to their reactions
来确保自己的言谈和举止得体
to make sure that you’re saying and doing the right things
自己表现得足够“沉着冷静”
that you’re acting quote/unquote cool enough
以此来获得他人尊重并爬上金字塔
to gain their respect and climb up the pyramid
另一方面 若你正接近
on the other hand if you’re near
或是已经站在自身阶层的顶峰
or at the top of your hierarchy
你仍需非常关心
you’re still gonna care a lot about
别人对你的看法
what others think of you because
因为你需要时刻了解自己周遭发生的事
you need to pay attention to what’s happening in the group
确保人们不会传播你的谣言
making sure that people don’t spread rumors
或是做一些有毁你名誉的事情
or do things that could hurt your reputation
如此 你才能稳住自己的高位
so that you can keep your position at the top
因此你处于等级制度的哪个阶段都没关系
so it doesn’t matter where you are in your hierarchy
因为无论你在哪个阶段
because either way you’re still
你仍需关注别人对你的看法
gonna care a lot about what others think of you
这只是人的本性
it’s just human nature
等等 难道这意味着
wait so um improvement pill does this mean
无论我做什么
that no matter what I do
都不能摆脱这种困境吗
there’s no way for me to get out of this trap
并非如此 还是有几个方法的
well not quite see there are a couple of ways
你可以视而不见
you can cheat this but
但我认为的最实际的方法
the most practical way in my opinion is
我称之为“蝶形孔型轧制法”
what I like to call the butterfly method
当你像蝴蝶那样
this is when like a butterfly you fly around
从一个环境飞到另一个环境
from social environment to social environment
从一个群体飞到另一个群体
from group to group
这样做会使得你同时属于多个不同的群体
doing so will mean that you are part of many different hierarchies
不像大多数人只属于一两个群体
not just one or two like most people
而是至少四五个
but at least four or more
你属于的群体越多
see the more hierarchies that you are a part of
你就会越少在乎别人的看法
the less you will care about each one
如果你仅仅属于一个群体
if you’re only a part of one group then
那么你关心的完全会是
a hundred percent of your concerns will be
你在那一个群体里的
about how high on the hierarchy you are
等级阶层有多高
within that one group
但如果你积极参与两个群体
but if you have two groups that you actively participate in
你的关心就会分成
then your concerns become split maybe
也许50:50 也许60:40 甚至70:30
50/50 maybe 60/40 or maybe even 70/30
那取决于你在每个群体所花的时间
depending on how much time you spend with each group
现在没关系
now it doesn’t matter too much
正因为你有了另一个
because just by having another
你想要积极参与的群体
group of people that you want an active part
你对他人对你的看法的在意程度
of how much you care about what others think of you
在任一群体中都将会显著降低
and either group will drop significantly
大幅度提高至4或5甚至6组
bump this to four or five or even six groups
然后你会发现你真的不那么在意
and you’ll find yourself at a point where
你在每个群体中的位置
you don’t really care that much about each group
没错 你仍然会有点关心别人的看法
yes you’re still gonna care a bit about what others think
这再正常不过了
and that’s perfectly normal
人们都会这样
it’s a part of being a human being
但因为它不再重要 你的关心程度会小很多
but you’re gonna care much much much less because it doesn’t matter
如果你在一个群体中的位置不好
if you’re not in a good position for one group
你还有其他5个群体
you still have five other groups
当你拥有过多的某种东西时
you’re living off the mindset of abundance
你就会有丰富的思维
which is when you have an excess of something and
于是仅仅通过参与很多社会群体
by simply having an abundance of social groups that you’re
你就会发现你自己
a part of you’re gonna find yourself acting
行为举止更放松和泰然自若
in a more relaxed and collected manner
在自己面对群体里的他人时
you’re gonna find yourself treating others in the group
更自信 并且是以一种有趣和无忧的方式
more confidently and in a more fun and carefree way
正因如此
and because of this you
事实上你会爬上很多等级制度 且轻轻松松
will actually climb many of these hierarchies without even trying.
所以你究竟怎么做到这点呢
Okay so how exactly do you do this
一个人怎么运用蝶形孔型轧制法
how does one execute the butterfly method
有两个相关的方法
well there are two ways to go about this
第一个方法是开始找其他群体加入
The first is to start looking for other groups to join.
过去我曾是meetup论坛的忠实用户
In the past I was an avid user of the platform meetup dot com.
在那里你可以找到共同爱好的人
There you can find people that share common interests
并和他们一起玩
and hang out with them.
棋盘游戏 公共演讲团体 体育迷
Board games, public speaking groups, sports fanatics,
应有尽有
you name it they have it.
通过这样扩张你的社交圈
By expanding your social circle like this,
你会发现你成为很多不同群体的一份子
you will find yourself a part of many different groups.
你积极参与的群体越多
The more groups you actively participate in,
你越少在意其他每个人 对你的看法
the less you will care about what others think of you in each one.
第二个可以利用蝶形孔型轧制法的方式
The second way you can take advantage of the butterfly method is
是独自旅行
by traveling by yourself.
当你独自去其他国家旅行时
When you travel to another country all on your own
和当地人们交往
and socialize with the people there,
你就脱离了
you remove yourself from the hierarchies
你一般所处的等级阶层
that you are normally a part of.
你是在一个全然不同的地方 身边是完全陌生的人
You’re in a totally different place withtotally different people.
通常情况下 你会注意到在国外你的举止会很不同
And oftentimes, you’ll start to notice yourself acting very differently
变得更自信 更无忧无虑
more confidently more carefree when you’re abroad.
因为这里的等级阶层都不是你真正关心的
Because these are all hierarchies that you don’t really care about.
因为你想着你只在那里
Because the mindset is you’re only there
待几天或者几星期
for a couple of days or weeks
而且你很可能再也不会见到那些人了
and you’ll probably never see those people again.
通过独自旅行了很多地方
By traveling so many places on your own,
最终你参与许多不同群体又离开了
you end up joining and leaving dozens of different groups
当你最后回到家
and what you’ll find when you eventually return home
你将得到一个全新的人生看法
is a very different perspective on life.
你将更好地了解到
You’re going to have a better understanding of
这世上究竟有多少人
just how many people there are in the world,
究竟有多少你可以参与的群体和等级阶层
just how many groups and hierarchies you can join,
而这就是丰富的最终形式
and this is the ultimate form of abundance.
了解到这个世界
Understanding that in a world with seven billion people,
有七十亿人 有无尽的群体可以参与
there’re endless groups to join.
现在我们都知道
Now we all know caring too much
太在意他人看法是不好的
about what others think is bad.
但也有你该注意的东西
But there are things that you should care about.
比如像学习 给我们带来
Things like learning, which brings us to
今天视频的赞助商Blinkist
the sponsors of today’s video Blinkist
Blinkist是学习的完美地方
Blinkist is the perfect place for learning.
他们从许多别的书中
They take the key teachings from
提取出关键教义
thousands of books and compress them
并精简到一个可以十五分钟
into 15-minute summaries that you can
看完或者听完的概要
read or even listen to.
这个我已经用了挺长时间的软件
It’s an app that I’ve been using for quite a while now
而且它给了我很多帮助
and it’s helped me out a lot.
因为我经常寻找可以改善我的生活的方法
Because I’m constantly looking for ways to improve my own life.
所以我总是在学习新知识
So I’m always on the hunt for new information.
但是我每周根本没时间
But I simply don’t have the time every single week
阅读大量的书
to read dozens and dozens of books.
Blinkist让我能够快速了解到
Blinkist allows me to quickly learn
新的话题和新的技术并试验
about new topics and new techniques and try them out.
去网站www.Blinkist.com/ImprovementPill
Go to www dot com forge slash ImprovementPill
或者点击下方方框里的链接
or click on the link in the description box below
点击他们新的优惠链接
to get access to their new promotion.
前一百名点击链接的观看者
The first 100 viewers who click on this link
将获得为期一周的免费试用
will get an extended 1 week free trial.
而且我推荐你们去看看
One of my favorite summaries on their app
这个软件上我最喜欢的概要之一
that I recommend you to check out is
他们对人性法则的总结
their summary on the laws of human nature,
这是最近我的阅读书单的第一项
which has recently just climbed to the top of my reading list.
它详细介绍了
It goes into detail about
为什么我们要做我们做的事情
why we do the things that we do.
所以一定要去看看
So definitely check it out.
大家下期再见 拜拜
Besides that guys stay tuned.

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译制信息
视频概述

蝶形孔型轧制法:通过参与更多不同的群体,减少对他人看法的在意

听录译者

收集自网络

翻译译者

dysania_y

审核员

审核员SX

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RlTA_NZ2t0I

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