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别人侮辱你该如何反应? – 译学馆
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别人侮辱你该如何反应?

How to react when someone insults you? Dealing with Rude People – Personality Development Tips

Hi, this is Ceema, welcome back to Skillopedia,
大家好 我是Ceema 欢迎回到Skillopedia
the place to learn skills for the real world.
一个可以学到处事技巧的地方
Well, today we are going to talk about insults
好了 今天我们来谈谈侮辱
and how we can respond to them.
以及回应它们的方法
An insult is nothing but when someone speaks to you
侮辱是别人用无礼的态度和你说话
or treats you with disrespect.
或者没有以礼待你
Have you ever been at the receiving end of an insult?
你有没有被别人侮辱过
That’s not a very pleasant thing, is it?
这真的很让人不爽 不是吗?
Well, what do you do when you are insulted?
那么被别人侮辱时 你会做些什么呢?
Do you insult the person straight back?
你是会直接骂回去
Or do you break down and cry?
或是崩溃大哭
Or do you simply leave the place
亦或是直接离开
and avoid the person who has insulted you altogether?
然后和那些侮辱你的人绝交?
Well, today’s lesson is going to teach you about
好了 今天我要教你
how you can respond effectively to people who insult you or make fun of you.
如何有效回击那些侮辱或嘲笑你的人
为什么别人会侮辱你?
Now it is very clear
现在 你很清楚
that people who insult you are negative people, right?
那些侮辱你的人是消极的人 对吧?
But why do you think they actually insult you?
但是你觉得他们为什么要侮辱你?
Now there are four main reasons
这里有四点别人
why someone would probably insult you.
可能侮辱你的主要原因
The first reason is insecurity.
第一个原因是缺乏安全感
Now there are some people who are insecure.
有些人缺乏安全感
They don’t feel good themselves
他们对自己不自信
and because they don’t feel good about themselves,
正是因为这个原因
they feel the need to control
他们想要去控制
and they can only gain this need to control
而他们只能通过打击他人来
by putting other people down.
满足自己需要控制的需求
so insecure people will always end up insulting you
所以 缺乏安全感的人会经常侮辱你
or make rude comments at you.
或者粗鲁地评价你
say, for example, you have a sibling
比如 你有一个姐妹
who is insecure about how she looks.
她不太满意自己的长相
She might end up, you know, insulting you about the way you look
然后她就可能会侮辱你的样貌
or about the way you dress
你的穿着打扮
or simply about the way you score at school.
亦或是你的在校成绩
The second reason why someone would mock you
第二个别人嘲笑
or insult you is because they are jealous of you.
或侮辱你的原因是他们嫉妒你
That’s right, jealousy is a very important motive
是的 嫉妒是别人嘲笑或奚落
for someone to mock you or ridicule you.
你的重要动机
People who are jealous feel that
那些嫉妒你的人
they are not getting enough credit
觉得他们正在做的事情没有
for what they are doing and that is why they wanna put you down.
得到足够的赞扬 这就是他们想要贬低你的原因
So say for example, if you have a coworker
例如 你有一个同事
but your boss likes you better than your coworker,
你的老板比起他来更喜欢你
your coworker might end up making fun of the way you dress.
那个同事就可能嘲笑你的衣着
He might make fun of the way you have given your presentation.
嘲笑你作报告的方式
He’s just plain jealous of you and that’s why he insults you.
他只是单纯的嫉妒你 而这也是他侮辱你的原因
The third point or the third reason
第三点或者第三个
why people would insult you is because they don’t really
别人侮辱你的原因是
have a proper understanding of a person’s disability.
他们不能正确理解他人的缺陷
Now a lot of times, people are not aware of
很多时候 人们不能意识到
how their comments affect people
他们的言论会怎样影响一个人
because they don’t know that the person
因为他们不知道
they are directing these comments to,
被他们针对侮辱的人
actually have a genuine problem.
真的有某方面的缺陷
So say, for example,
比如
there is a kid in school who’s actually got speech difficulties.
在学校里 有一个孩子真的有演讲方面的障碍
He probably stammers or stutters.
他可能会结巴口吃
He’s got a genuine problem
他是真的有这方面的问题
but maybe his schoolmates or his classmates
但是他的同学
don’t really get that.
可能不知道
They don’t really understand that.
他们可能不能理解他的问题
so they might make fun of him
所以他们可能没有了解
without really understanding how it affects him.
这种缺陷对他的影响就去嘲笑他
Well, the final or the last point, why someone would
好了 最后一点别人可能会侮辱你的原因
possibly insult you is because they are fond of you
只是因为他们喜欢你
and they want to playfully tease you.so
他们取笑你只是和你闹着玩
this is not really insulting in a very negative way
所以这并不是一种负面的嘲笑方式
but some people, they kind of, they like you a lot and
只是有些人 他们很喜欢你
they think that teasing you a little bit is kind of very cool.
并且觉得取笑你这件事很酷
they love doing that because they are fond of you.
他们喜欢嘲笑是因为喜欢你
So maybe you have a cousin
所以 可能你有个堂姐妹
who keeps calling you a little chubby
因为你比较胖
because you are on the heavier side
就一直叫你小胖妞
but she does not mean to be rude.
而她并非故意对你无礼
But maybe her insults
但是也许她的侮辱
or her comments could hurt you a little bit
或她的言论有一点伤害到了你
but what she is actually indulging in is just playful teasing.
而她真正喜欢的只是打趣式的取笑
[music]
[音乐]
Well, now we’re going to talk about,
现在我们来说一下
what you can actually do
你可以怎样回应侮辱
or how you can actually respond to insults.
或者如何回应侮辱
Now responding to an insult is much better than reacting to it.
回应侮辱好过对侮辱有反应
So the first thing you’ve got to remember
所以你要记住的第一件事
when you are faced with an insult is to stay calm.
就是在面对侮辱时 要保持冷静
Now as we’ve learnt that people who insult
我们已经知道了侮辱别人的人
are people who are probably insecure.
可能缺乏安全感
they love to control.
他们喜欢控制
They are very controlling people, right?
他们是很有控制欲的人 是吗?
So they want to ensure that
所以他们想要确定
you get angry or you just maybe break down and cry
你生气了或者你会崩溃大哭
but you are not going to give them,
但你不要给他们想要的这种反应
the satisfaction of that kind of reaction,
来满足他们
right? So, before you even respond to
对吗?所以 在你说点什么去回应
what they have to say,
他们之前
ensure that you take several deep breaths,
确保自己做了几次深呼吸
stay calm so that you are composed enough
保持冷静 这样你能才足够镇定
to give a very effective reply to what they have to say.
来有效的回应他们所说的话
[music]
[音乐]
It is also very important to tell the person
告诉那个侮辱你的人
who is insulting you, how you exactly feel.
你的真实感受是什么 也很重要
Yes, even though you are to stay calm,
是的 即使你需要保持冷静
it is your duty to ensure that the person
但确保那个正在侮辱你的人或嘲笑你的人
who is insulting you or mocking you
知道你正在经历什么
knows what you are going through.
是你的责任
So, you can also tell them
所以 你也可以告诉他们
that if what they’re doing is illegal,
如果他们的行为是违法的
it can have unforeseen or unpleasant circumstances
会给他们带来不可预见或者不愉快的后果
for them. say for example,
例如
if you have a coworker who is bullying you over the internet,
如果你遭到了同事的网络暴力
you can actually tell them that if you report them,
你可以直接告诉他们 如果你告发他们
it’s going to have very bad consequences for them
他们将面临非常严峻的后果
or maybe if you have a cousin
或者如果你的表亲
who keeps making rude comments at you,
一直对你说一些很无礼的话
you can simply tell them, that you are not very happy
你可以简单地告诉他们
about what they’re saying and whatever they’re
你不喜欢他们的说的话
saying is going to actually affect your relationship with them.
无论他们说什么 都会影响到与你们间的感情
So when you are faced with an insult,
所以 在面对别人的侮辱
it is important that you tell the person who is insulting you,
告诉那个侮辱你的人你的真实感受
what you actually feel.
是很重要的
[music]
[音乐]
The third point to note
第三点要注意的是
when responding to an insult is to
回应别人的侮辱时
ensure that you ignore the insults completely.
你要确保自己完完全全忽视他的侮辱
Now let me tell you,
你要知道
ignoring an insult is sometimes the wisest
忽视侮辱有时是最明智
and the best thing to do.
也是最好的方法
Why would you ignore an insult and not respond to it?
为什么你要忽视它而不是回应它呢?
Well,you can ignore an insult simply
那是因为你的忽视
because you wanna ensure that
会让那个侮辱你的人
the person who has insulted you
感觉到他的行为
should not feel that they’ve affected you in any way.
一点也没有影响到你
So when you actually ignore the insult,
所以 当你真正忽视了那个侮辱时
you’re telling the person that,
你在告诉那个人
look I’m not affected by it.
看 我没有被影响到啊
Okay now, how would you ignore an insult?
好了 那么你要怎么忽视别人的侮辱呢?
You can ignore an insult
你可以通过
by changing the topic of conversation and
改变谈论话题
talking about something entirely unrelated or
说点别的毫不相关的东西
you could just walk away from the place
或者直接走掉 离开那个
that you are having this conversation with this person.
与这个人谈话的地方
So you could leave the room,
所以 你可以离开那个房间
you could leave the place that
可以远离那个
you are being insulted or spoken rudely at.
你被别人恶言相向的地方
So say, for example,
比如
you’re at work and your coworker makes fun about
你正在工作 然后你的同事嘲笑
the way you present a particular topic.
你发表观点的方式
So, you don’t feel very good about it
所以 你觉得很不爽
but you want to ignore it.
但是你想忽视掉他
So, you will simply walk out of the room
所以 你会直接离开那个会议室
or talk about, you know a different project altogether
或者 你知道的 讨论一个完全不同的项目
which is not even related to the one
而这个项目甚至跟你们手头上的项目
that you have worked upon right now.
毫不相干
So, ignoring an insult
所以 忽视侮辱
is one of the wisest things to do.
是最明智的方法之一
[music]
[音乐]
Another very interesting way of
另一个回应侮辱并且很有意思的
responding to an insult is by using humour.
方法是使用自己的幽默
You’re right, humour is probably the best defense
是的 幽默可能是你必须回击侮辱时
mechanism when you have to attack an insult.
最有效的防御机制
Now how do you do this?
如何用幽默去化解呢?
Now when someone’s making a joke at you,
如果有人开你的玩笑
you can try using that
你可尝试用
person’s joke and using that joke,
那个人的笑话
you actually put the joke back at them.
来反过来笑话他们
But of course,
当然
you’ve got to do it in a very nice light-hearted way
你必须用一种轻松愉快的方式
which ensures that they don’t feel offended
以保证他们不会觉得被冒犯到
and at the same time it makes the atmosphere
同时 这也能让氛围
very easy and not so very tense.
变得轻松而不紧张
So say for example,
比如
if a colleague or a co-worker makes fun of the fact
如果你的同事每天都拿你
that you walk in to work late every day.
上班迟到的事情嘲笑你
They call you, miss late or miss tardy.
他们叫你 迟到小姐或者拖沓小姐
What you can actually do is you can
你可以做的就是
say that yes, I do come late
说 是的 我确实迟到了
but I’m actually learning to come late from you.
但是我是从你们身上学到的
I see you walking in late every day as well.
我看你们也和我一样每天都迟到
So you’re actually taking the insult
所以 实际上你接受了别人的侮辱
but you’re kind of directing the joke back at them.
但你也把这个笑话抛给了他们
So you’ve got ensure that when you’re actually doing that,
所以 你要保证当你这样做的时候
you’ve got to be very you know natural in tone.
你的语调是非常自然的
You don’t have to raise your voice
你不必提高自己你的语调
in order to ensure that they don’t get
为了保证他们不会
as offended as you’ve probably gotten
像你之前一样 在他们侮辱或对你无礼时
when they’ve made the insult of the remark to you.
感到被冒犯
[music]
[音乐]
The next thing you need to know is
你需要知道的另一件事是
that you have to sometimes also, report insults.
有时 你要告发侮辱你的人
let me tell you if insults
我要告诉你 如果他们的侮辱
are based or related to gender, sexuality, religion or disability,
是基于或者有关性别 性取向 宗教或者残疾的
it is against the law.
这是违法的
The person who is actually doing
那些因为这些原因侮辱你的人
that is not doing a very lawful thing
是不符合法律规定的
and it is your right as the victim
同时 作为受害人你有权
to actually report these kinds of acts.
告发他们的行为
Now at school or at work,
在学校里和工作地点
you have anti-harassment departments
都有反骚扰部门
which actually would listen to your plight
他们会倾听你的怨言
and would do the right thing in order to
并会做正确的事情
ensure that you don’t have to face the insults ever again.
来保证你永远不会再面对别人的侮辱
[music]
[音乐]
Doing good things for yourself will always help you
做对自己好的事情
feel good and therefore it is
会让你感觉良好 因此
my advice to always indulge in self-care.
我的建议是要经常享受自我关怀
So if you are being mocked or insulted
所以 如果你长时间被人嘲笑侮辱
or spoken rudely to on a continual basis.
或经常被人恶言相向
If you actually do some little good things for yourself,
如果你做了一点有益于自己的小事
you can feel very good from the inside.
那么你可以发自内心地感到快乐
It could be anything.
这可以是很多事情
You can go for a quiet walk.
你可以一个人散步
You could go and get yourself a nice haircut.
可以去剪一个好看的发型
You could go to the spa;
你可以去做一下水疗
you could just work out if that helps you feel better.
可以去锻炼 如果这能让你感觉更好
Anything in order to ensure that you feel good about yourself.
你可以做任何事情 来让自我感觉良好
So please,
所以
please indulge in self-care
请享受自我关怀
because not everyone will make you feel good,
因为不是所有人都会让你感觉很好
you’ve gotta do that for yourself.
你要做点为自己好的事情
[music]
[音乐]
Well, people are always going to put you down
是的 人们总是会打击你
but it’s up to you,
但是是你决定自己
to actually bring yourself up and stay strong.
要不要振作并坚强起来
So it is important that you write a journal.
所以写日记是很重要的
When you write a journal,
当你写日记的时候
you can actually document
你就记录下
or make a list of things
或者 列出你喜欢自己的
that you actually like about yourself.
一些方面
So this is a list of things that you like about you.
所以 这就是你对自己满意的一个清单
So it could be things that
这可以是
relate to your strengths.
与你强项有关的东西
It could be things that
可以是那些
relate to what you’ve achieved over the number of years
与你多年的成就有关的事
or it could simply be anything that tells you
或者只是那些让你
that you are just a very beautiful person.
知道自己是很漂亮的人的事情
Well, I hope you found this lesson
好了 我希望你能觉得这节课对你有所帮助
very useful and very insightful about what you can do
并且也能深刻的告诉你
when you are insulted.so now you know
在面对别人的侮辱时要怎样做
what you can do and what you must not do
所以你现在知道面对别人侮辱
when you are insulted
或陷入被人嘲笑的窘况时
or in a situation where you feel mocked or ridiculed.
能做和一定不能做的事情
For more such sessions,
想要获得更多关于这节的内容
do not forget to subscribe to Skillopedia,
记得订阅Skillopedia
the place to learn skills for the real world.
一个可以学到处事技巧的地方

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视频概述

探讨被人侮辱的原因及回应别人侮辱的方法

听录译者

收集自网络

翻译译者

blue

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审核员BZ

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PKEgcyasvCg

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