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5. 养成习惯的正确方法

How To Properly Build Your Habit (MOST IMPORTANT Tamed Lesson)

这里是“激励胶囊”
Improvement Pill here.
欢迎收看《自我驯服》第五节课
I wanna welcome you to lesson 5 of the Tamed Course.
在过去几节课中 我们学到了一个策略
In the previous lessons we covered a strategy for this course,
就是用好的核心习惯代替你的坏习惯
which is to replace your bad habits with good Keystone habits,
接着 我们讨论了习惯是如何运作的
then we discussed how habits work,
还打破了一些迷思
debunked a couple of misconceptions
我们也在前个视频中
and in our last video we discussed
讨论到了三种最有效的习惯
three of the most powerful habits you can adopt.
所以你现在应该已经想好了一个习惯
So by now, you should have a habit in mind
并在接下来的课程当中努力养成这个习惯
that you’re going to work on for the remainder of this course.
如果你还没想好要养成什么习惯
If you do not have this habit in mind,
或者你错过了之前的任何一个视频
or if you’ve missed any of the previous lessons
请现在就暂停视频
stop this video right now,
点击下方描述区的链接
and click on the link in the description box below.
进入《自我驯服》视频列表
It will bring you to a playlist
里头的视频都是按时间顺序排列的
that has all of the lessons of the Tamed Course in chronological order.
今天我们这节课要讲的
In today’s lesson we’re going to talk about
就是开始养成习惯的正确方法
how to properly start forming your habit.
我们会教你如何选择一个有效的提示
We’re going to cover how to strategically pick a cue,
如何把习惯安排好
how to structure your routine
以便事半功倍地让习惯变得自动化
so that you get closer to the line of automaticity with half the effort,
最后是如何用有效的奖励 让习惯维持下去
and finally, how to effectively reward yourself so that your habit sticks.
这绝对是这个课程中最重要的视频之一
This is without a doubt one of the most important videos in this course,
所以务必要专心听讲
so make sure you pay close attention.
好 那我们开始吧
Alright, let’s get started.
记住 提示会激发大脑
Remember, the cue is what triggers your brain
将习惯进行到底 以获得奖励
to follow through with the routine and reach that reward,
所以你必须选一个每天都会出现的提示
so it’s important to pick a cue that appears every single day
因为像“醒来时阳光照在你脸上”的提示
because if you pick a cue like ”waking up to the sun shining on your face”,
虽然让习惯得以坚持大部分时间
sure, you’ll stick to your habit most of the time,
但是如果外面下雨的话
but if it’s ever raining outside,
你的习惯就不会被激发了
you won’t be prompted to follow through with your routine.
同时 你也要选一个躲避不了的提示
At the same time, you want to pick a cue that is unavoidable.
你的提示必须是你每天都会遇到的东西
Your cue needs to be something that you encounter every day,
不管你人在哪里
no matter where you are,
不管你做什么 甚至你感觉怎样 也都一样
what you’re doing or even how you’re feeling.
比如 我把吃饭当作是我的阅读习惯的提示
For example, the cue from my habit of reading is eating.
每次用餐的时候 我会拿起一本书
Whenever I eat, I pick up a book
或者上网看篇信息丰富的文章
or read some informative article online.
这个提示是我每天免不了要做的事
This cue is something that I do every single day without fail and it’s unavoidable.
就算我生病或者出国也一样
I could be sick, I could be in another country, it doesn’t matter
因为我还是得吃饭
because I’ll still have to eat.
你也可以考虑其他一些躲避不了的提示
Other unavoidable cues that you can consider for your own habit
比如洗澡 刷牙
are things like showering, brushing your teeth,
打开电脑 甚至下班搭车回家
logging on to your computer, or even your commute back from work.
有很多提示可以选择 而且选什么都不重要
There’s tons of possibilities, and it doesn’t really matter what you select
前提是 你的提示必须每天都出现
as long as your cue is something that appears every single day without fail.
还有一个重点就是
Another thing you want to keep in mind
你要选一个让你能够立刻执行习惯的提示
is that your cue should make it possible for you to follow through with your routine immediately.
假设你选的核心习惯是冥想
Let’s say for example, the keystone habit you’ve selected is meditation.
把抵达办公室当作提示 可能不会有效
It may not be smart to attach this routine to the cue of, say, arriving at work.
打算用上班后的前10分钟做冥想
Some difficulties may arise if you plan to spend
可能会让你遇到麻烦
your first 10 minutes of work every day meditating.
你老板可能会打断你 给你发任务
Your boss might interrupt and give you an assignment,
导致你分了心 把冥想这件事全忘掉
and lo and behold, you’ll get sidetracked and completely forget to meditate.
你所选择的提示
What you want to do is pick a cue
必须让习惯的执行变得更容易
that makes it easier for you to follow through with your routine.
假设你想养成的核心习惯是健身
For example, if the Keystone habit you’re trying to build is fitness,
一个很有效的做法
it’s extremely effective to sign up
就是加入回家路上的一间健身房
for a gym that is on your commute from work.
这样 你在回家路上的时候
That way, when you travel back from work,
自然就会看到你的提示 也就是这间健身房
you’ll naturally come across your cue, which is seeing the gym.
这个提示很有效 因为你一看到它
This cue is great, because when you see it,
你只需要几秒钟就能开始执行习惯
you’re only seconds away from starting your routine.
最后 选择提示的时候要注意
The final thing I want to note when it comes to picking a cue
你只能选一个提示
is that you want to pick a single cue.
你要训练大脑在看到一个提示时
You want your brain to associate a single unique cue
只联想起一个习惯
with a single unique routine.
如果你一半时间使用的是提示A
If half the time you’re using cue A
另一半时间使用的是提示B
and the other half you’re using cue B,
基本上 你是在同时养成两个习惯
you’re basically building two habits at the same time,
因此你可能需要花两倍的时间
and because of this it can take you twice as long
才能让习惯自动化
to reach the line of automaticity,
一旦习惯变得自动化
which again is that point in time
你就不必再思考如何执行你的习惯
where you no longer even have to think about doing your habit.
好 我们下一个要讲的是习惯本身
All right, so the next thing we’re gonna talk about is the routine.
大部分人看待习惯的方式
Now there’s a huge problem with the way
存在一个很大的问题
that the majority of people look at their routines.
开始养成新习惯时
See, most people who start a new habit
大多数人会为自己设下非常高的标准
set their expectations for their routine very very high.
他们会要求自己每次锻炼一个半小时
They tell themselves that they’ll work out for at least an hour and a half
每周锻炼五次
five times a week,
或者每天做至少20分钟的冥想
that they’ll meditate every single day for at least 20 minutes,
或者每周读完至少一本书
that they’ll finish reading at least a book every single week.
如果你期望自己每天都表现得这么好
If you expect to perform this well every single day,
你最终一定会遇到一些问题
you’re eventually going to bump into some problems.
在未来的某个时刻
Somewhere down the line,
可能是一周后 一个月后
it could be a week, it could be a month,
你一定会有意志力不够的一天
there’s going to be a day where you have low levels of willpower.
要么是因为你生病了
It could be because you’re sick,
要么是因为你前一晚喝多了
it could be because you drink too much the previous night,
甚至可能是因为你太操劳了
it could even be because you’ve been working too much.
总之 人难免会有意志力不够的时候
Whatever it is, these bad days are unavoidable.
在接下来的视频中
Now, we’re gonna dive deeper
我们会进一步探讨意志力的概念
into the concept of willpower later on in this course,
但现在 我只需要你记得
But for now, I just want you to remember
有关意志力的两件事
these two facts about willpower.
第一 刚开始培养某个习惯时
The first fact is that if your habit is still new,
维持这个习惯 需要用到大量意志力
it requires a decent amount of willpower to stick to it.
你的习惯越是自动化
The closer your habit gets to the line of automaticity,
它所需要的意志力就越少
the less willpower it will require.
第二 大脑会尽力节约意志力
The second fact is that our brain tries its best to conserve willpower,
所以当意志力水平低于某个阈值时
so when your willpower levels drop below a certain threshold,
大脑就会尽全力节约意志力
it will do everything in its power to try to conserve it.
假如你的意志力水平偏低
Okay, so your willpower levels are low
而你在回家路上看到了健身房
and you’re travelling back from work, and you see your gym,
也就是你的提示
which is your cue,
这意味着你要去锻炼一个半小时
and this means that you have to work out for an hour and a half
你的大脑会怎么做呢?
What’s your brain going to do?
你的大脑会告诉你
Your brain is gonna say,
“锻炼一个半小时是不可能的事
“There’s no way we can work out for an hour and a half
因为我们的意志力快没了”
with this nearly empty tank of willpower”,
我敢保证
and I can just about guarantee you
大脑会说服你不去锻炼
that he’s going to convince you not to go.
于是你就回家去
so you end up going home
一边追看《怪奇物语》最新一季 一边吃零食
to binge watch the new season of “Stranger Things” while eating Doritos.
结果你隔天早上醒来后觉得难受愧疚
You wake up the next morning feeling terrible and guilty,
因为你的新年愿望就这样破功了
because you’ve technically broken your New Year’s resolution.
你已经失去了上健身房的动力
Your motivation to go to the gym just isn’t the same anymore.
你会更频繁地缺席锻炼
You start skipping more days, and next thing you know,
过了不久 你就回到了原点
you’re back to square one.
似曾相识吗?理应如此
Sound familiar? Well it should,
因为这种事经常发生
because this sort of thing happens all of the time.
正因如此 只有8%的人能坚持新年计划
This is why only 8% of people manage to stick to their New Year’s resolution.
大多数人所中的圈套
The trap that most of us fall into is that we focus way too much energy
就是我们执行习惯时太努力了
on how hard we should work during our routines.
但是我们应该关注的是开始执行
Instead, we should be focusing on simply showing up.
事实上 一个每天上健身房
In fact, someone who goes to the gym every single day
却只锻炼10分钟的人
and works out for only 10 minutes
将会更快地让习惯自动化
will get to the line of automaticity
比一个只有一半时间上健身房
much faster than someone who shows up half as much
每次却锻炼一两小时 甚至三小时的人还要快
but works out for one, two, or even three hours at a time.
因为只有一贯性 才能让习惯变得自动化
This is because the only thing that will get you closer to the line of automaticity is consistency.
我再重复说一次
Let me repeat that again:
只有一件事能让你要养成的核心习惯
The only thing that will get you closer to making that keystone habit of yours
变成一个你不必费力就能自动执行的活动
into something you do automatically without any effort,
那就是一贯性 也就是你执行习惯的频率
is consistency, basically how often you show up.
你可能在想
Now a lot of you are probably thinking:
“仅仅锻炼十分钟有什么用?
“Well, what’s the point of working out for only ten minutes?
如果只锻炼十分钟的话
There’s no way I can lose any weight or put on any muscle
根本不能减重或者让肌肉变壮”
if I only work out for ten minutes.”
这种说法只对了一部分
And you’re right but only to some extent
原因是 让习惯变得自动化是首要目标
because getting our habits in the line of automaticity is our number one goal,
但是这些核心习惯也要能够让你获益
but reaping the benefits of these Keystone habits is also important.
所以 如果要充分获取到核心习惯的益处
That’s why, if you want to get the most out of your Keystone habit,
你就要实行所谓的“高低门槛”
you need to implement something I like to call the low high bar.
方法如下
Here’s how it works:
低门槛就是让习惯变得自动化
The low bar is the least amount of work you can do
所需要的最少的努力
that will still move your habit closer to the line of automaticity.
也就是说 你的习惯的所有步骤都必须执行
This means that you need to at least follow all of the steps of your routine,
但是你只需要付出最少限度的努力
but you’re allowed to do so with minimal effort.
假设你想养成冥想的习惯
For example, let’s say that you’re trying to make meditation into a habit.
你可以设定这样的低门槛:
the low bar for this could be:
“采取你平时冥想时的正确坐姿
“sitting in the proper meditation position that you always sit in,
把时钟调到你平时调的时间
setting your clock to the number you always set it to,
然后只用一分钟注意呼吸
and focusing on your breathing for just one minute.”
若是当天意志力不够 连一分钟也太难了
If you think one minute is too hard for you on a day with low willpower,
你还可以把时间缩短到30秒
you can even lower it to thirty seconds.
但也没关系 因为你完成了习惯的所有步骤
It doesn’t really matter because you’re still following all of the steps of your routine
这意味着 你的习惯还是变得更接近自动化了
and this means you’re still getting closer to the line of automaticity.
至于高门槛 就是让习惯带来益处的工作量
Now the high bar is what eventually causes you to reap the benefits of your habits.
也是你允许自己付出的最大限度的努力
It is the most amount of work you allow yourself to do.
以刚才的冥想习惯为例
So let’s take the previous example of our meditation habit.
这个习惯的高门槛
The high bar for this routine could be
可以是专注于呼吸长达20分钟
focusing on your breathing for up to 20 minutes.
意思是说 你用在冥想的时间
This means that you’re allowed to meditate for anywhere
可介于一分钟的低门槛至20分钟的高门槛之间
from one minute which is your low bar, to 20 minutes which is your high bar.
你可能会想
Now you’re probably thinking:
“这样做有效吗?
“Well, how does this even work?
我为什么要限制自己?”
Why would I ever want to limit myself?”
高低门槛之所以非常有效 原因有两个
The low high bar works extremely well because of two reasons.
第一 如果出于某种原因 你的意志力不够
Number one: it makes it extremely easy for you to complete your routine,
完成习惯还是非常容易的
if for whatever reason you have low willpower.
冥想仅仅30秒的任务
The task of meditating for just thirty seconds
不足以把大脑吓得必须节约意志力
isn’t enough to scare your brain into conserving its willpower.
所以一旦有了低门槛
So having a low bar prevents you
你就不会缺席
from missing days you normally would’ve.
这一点很重要 因为你每缺席一天
This is crucial, because every single day you miss
你和自动化就会离得更远
sets back your progress towards that line of automaticity.
仅仅缺席一天 往往也会使我们再缺席几天
Missing just one day also tends to cause us to miss even more days
特别是刚开始形成习惯的时候
especially in the beginning of our habit building journey.
所以 为习惯设定低门槛
So by setting a low bar for our routine
就能避免发生巨大挫折
we can avoid massive setbacks
从而避免自己回到原点
that would have likely thrown us back to square one.
高低门槛那么有效的第二个原因
The second reason the low high bar is so effective
就是当你为习惯设定高门槛的时候
is because by having a high bar for your routine,
你就有了动力付出超出最低限度的努力
you’ll be motivated to do more than the bare minimum,
即便是当意志力水平非常低的时候
even on days where your levels of willpower are extremely low.
这是因为 就如我在之前视频中提到
This is because, like I mentioned in the previous videos,
相较于锻炼本身
it actually takes more willpower
穿鞋 出门 前往健身房
to put on your shoes, head out the door and go to the gym
还需要更多的意志力
than the actual workout itself.
幸好 你已经知道什么是低门槛
Luckily, you know about the low bar,
实行低门槛之后 你几乎一定会上健身房
which, if you implement, means you will almost always show up.
这意味着 你已经完成了这个习惯最难的部分
This means that you’ve actually just overcome the hardest part of the routine,
而且由于你设定了高门槛
and since you have a high bar for this routine,
我敢保证你会告诉自己:
I can almost guarantee that you’ll find yourself thinking,
“来到这里花了我很多时间和精力
“Well, I spent so much time and energy getting here,
不如锻炼久一些吧
I might as well work out a bit longer.
反正我最多也只让自己锻炼一个半小时
My maximum for working out is an hour and a half,
不如尝试30分钟 别只做五分钟吧”
so let’s try to do thirty minutes instead of just five.
说来好笑 因为乍听之下
It’s funny, because at first glance
设定高低门槛好像是在偷懒
the low high bar sounds like cheating,
像是在抄捷径
it sounds like a shortcut,
这是因为情况确实如此
and that’s because it is.
相较于其他传统做法
It gets you to that line of automaticity
它能让习惯更快更有效地变得自动化
faster and more efficiently than other conventional methods
好 我们最后要谈的就是奖励
Alright, so the last thing we’re gonna talk about is the reward.
在习惯回路结束前 你总要有个有价值的奖励
there needs to be a prize that’s worthwhile at the end of your habit loop,
不然大脑也没必要把这个回路记下来
otherwise your brain has no reason to record this loop.
大脑为何要记下一个没有收获的行为呢?
Why should it remember something that doesn’t benefit you in any way?
你的奖励必须符合两个条件
There are two requirements that your reward must fill.
第一个条件是 习惯完成后 奖励必须立刻得到
The first requirement is that the reward must arrive immediately,
或者至少在短时间内得到
or at least very soon after the routine.
假设你想养成的是锻炼的习惯
Let’s say for example that you’re trying to build a habit of working out.
如果你告诉自己 锻炼的奖励
If you tell yourself that your reward for working out
就是三个月后你会变得更好看
is that you’ll look better three months down the line,
这个奖励不好
that’s a bad reward,
因为大脑中负责养成习惯的部位
because the part of your brain that’s responsible for building habits
不会把奖励和习惯联系起来
will not associate that reward with your routine,
因为奖励太遥远了
it’s too far away.
下面是一种很好的即时奖励:
Here’s a good example of an immediate reward:
我以前在养成锻炼的习惯时
when I was building my habit of working out,
会在完成锻炼之后 立刻去吃一顿好的
I would treat myself to a fantastic meal right after,
比如美味的牛排 或者一大碗咖喱
something like a delicious steak or a large bowl of curry.
这个奖励很棒
This is a good reward,
因为它在我完成习惯后立刻到来
because it comes immediately after my routine,
因此 我的大脑一想到锻炼的习惯
and because of this, my brain starts to associate
就会联想起食物的奖励
my routine of working out with the reward of food.
如果做得正确的话
If you’re doing this properly,
你会在执行习惯的过程中产生一些小欲望
you should start noticing small cravings during your routine.
我以前养成锻炼的习惯时
While building my habit of working out,
会在锻炼时想着锻炼完了之后要吃什么
I started to catch myself thinking about the food I would eat right after,
这是一件好事
and that’s a very good sign
因为大脑在习惯和奖励之间建立的联系越强
because the more your brain associates a reward with a specific routine,
你的习惯就更接近自动化了
the closer you are to that line of automaticity.
有效奖励的第二个条件
The second requirement for a good reward
就是它要让你快乐
is that it has to be pleasurable.
假设你在尝试养成每天看书的习惯
Let’s say that you’re trying to build a habit of reading books every day,
而你为这个习惯设定了“知识”的奖励
and the reward you assigned for this habit is “knowledge”.
这个奖励太糟糕了
This is a terrible reward,
因为虽然有知识是好事
because although knowledge is good,
而且知识能让人生变得更愉快
and can easily lead to a happier life,
但是知识本身不怎么会带来快乐
it in itself is not that pleasurable.
你可以把成就感当作奖励
What you could do is assign the feeling of accomplishment as the reward,
看完书后 你就可以去寻找成就感
and focus on that when you finish your reading.
把成就感当成奖励不是不可以
Now the feeling of accomplishment is okay and it’ll do the job,
但是如果要最有效地养成习惯
but if you want to have the most success in building your habits,
并在执行的过程中觉得兴奋
if you want your habits to feel exciting,
最好的方法 就是用所谓的“原始奖励”
it’s best to stick to what I like to call “primitive rewards”.
原始奖励是这千百万年以来
Primitive rewards are things that have always been rewarding,
给人类带来奖励感的东西
tracing back for millions and millions of years,
比如吃东西 性爱 玩乐 社交
things like food, sex, play, socializing,
这些活动以前和现在对人类都非常重要
were and still are some of the most important activities for us.
它们能确保人类基因的生存
These things ensure the survival of our genes,
所以才会变得让人感到很快乐
and because of this they’ve evolved to become extremely pleasurable.
所以 养成阅读习惯的时候
So instead of assigning the reward of knowledge
不要把知识和成就感当作奖励
or even the feeling of accomplishment to your routine of reading,
一个更有效的奖励 就是玩乐或者放松
it’s a lot more effective to assign something like play or relaxation.
你可以告诉自己 “我看完书之后
For example, you could say, “If I do my routine of reading,
立刻就可以放松 看一集我喜欢的电视剧”
I can relax and watch an episode of my favorite TV show right after.”
观看你喜欢的节目既好玩又让人快乐
Watching your favorite show is fun and pleasurable
因此它是一个相当好的奖励
and that makes it a pretty good reward.
我们来总结一下
So just to recap on everything:
首先 你要选一个独特的提示
first, you want to pick a single unique cue
这个提示必须是你每一天都会遇到的
that you come across every single day without fail.
再把这一提示分配给你的独特习惯
Assign this single unique cue to your unique routine.
有一点很重要 就是你选择的提示
It’s also important to note that this cue should make it easier
应该让习惯的立即执行变得更容易
for you to follow up immediately with your routine.
接着 你要想出你的习惯的步骤
Next, you want to figure out the steps of your routine.
你需不需要去某个地方?
Do you have to go somewhere?
你需不需要准备什么东西?
Is there something that you have to set up?
你需要做什么?
What do you do?
总之 你要把每一个步骤都确认下来
Whatever it is, identify each and every single step.
完成这些后 就该给习惯设定高低门槛了
After doing so, we can now create a low high bar for this routine.
你的低门槛
Your low bar should be so easy that it’s impossible
应该容易得让你想不出不执行的借口
for you to come up with excuses to not do it,
比如说 做一个俯卧撑
something easy like doing one push up.
而你的高门槛
Your high bar should be an amount
应该是你在完美的一天能够付出的努力
that you see yourself doing on a perfect day,
比如说 做100次俯卧撑
something like a hundred push-ups.
最后 你选择的奖励
And finally, you want to assign a reward
必须能在完成习惯后立刻得到
that you can receive immediately after your routine
而且它也要让你感到快乐
that is also very pleasurable.
如果你想不出任何好的奖励
If you’re having trouble thinking of good rewards,
就直接用我上面提到的其中一个原始奖励
you can always just use one of the primitive rewards I mentioned before
比如吃东西 玩乐 社交
like food, play, or socializing.
现在 培养核心习惯的必备都有了
You now have everything you need to start building your Keystone Habit.
所以我现在要你们做的
so what I want you guys to do right now
就是坐下来 仔细考虑要用什么提示
is to sit down and carefully think about your cue,
你的高低门槛 还有你的奖励
your low high bar for your routine, your reward,
再把这些都写在下方评论区
and write all of that down in the comments below.
记得一定要写下来
It is important that you write this out,
因为从今天起 你就要遵循这个计划
because this is what you’ll be following starting today,
直到你的习惯变得完全自动化为止
until you reach that line of automaticity for this habit.
我会在下方评论区写出一个例子
I’ll include an example in the comments below,
也会尽我所能给大家一些建设性反馈
and I’ll also try my best to provide constructive criticism for as many of you as possible.
我们下一节课要开始讨论意志力
In our next lesson, we’re gonna start speaking about willpower.
我在过去的视频中多次提到意志力
I’ve mentioned willpower a couple of times throughout this course,
因为意志力跟维持习惯的能力之间有直接关系
and that’s because willpower is directly tied to your ability to stick to your habits.
我们会在下节课讨论意志力是什么 以及它是如何运作的
We’ll be discussing what it is and how it works in our next lesson.
《自我驯服》的制作
The Tamed course was brought to you
得到了本频道赞助人的捐助
with the help of the patrons of this channel.
即使你每个月只捐一块钱
you can donate as little as one dollar a month,
我也会非常感激
and even then I’ll be extremely grateful,
因为我收到的每一块钱都会减轻我的压力
because each and every single dollar takes some pressure off of my shoulders.
让我可以完全免费地制作类似本课程的内容
This allows me to create more content like this course for absolutely free
让我不必担心因此倾家荡产
without having to worry about putting a roof over my head.
请查阅我的 Patreon 页面
Check out my Patreon page to find out more
了解我的赞助人所能得到的特权和好处
about the perks and benefits that all my patrons receive,
如果你今天就要开始养成习惯的话
and for all of you that are starting your habits today,
祝你好运 希望你大获成功
I wish you the best of luck and massive success.
请继续关注我们
Stay tuned.

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视频概述

5. 养成习惯的正确方法

听录译者

收集自网络

翻译译者

搬那度

审核员

审核员_DB

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDBV1GcCqvs

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