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如何能克服害羞心理? – 译学馆
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如何能克服害羞心理?

How to Overcome Shyness

羞怯能在很大程度上会影响我们
Because shyness can grip us in such powerful ways,
所以我们很有可能认为它是我们情绪构成中不可改变的一部分
it’s tempting to think of it as an immutable part of our emotional make-up
它深深地根植于我们的性格甚至生理
with roots that extend far into our personalities and perhaps biology,
导致我们无法彻底消灭羞怯
and that we would be incapable of ever extirpating.
但事实上 羞怯是关于这个世界的一系列想法这些想法通过理性的过程 能够非常温和地做出改变的
But in truth, shyness is based on a set of ideas about the world that are eminently amiable to change
他们是建立在易受人影响的错误之上
through a process of reason, because they are founded on some touchingly malleable errors of thought.
羞怯根植于一种独特的理解陌生人的方式
Shyness is rooted in a distinctive way of interpreting strangers.
害羞的人并非在所有面前都会尴尬 只是在那些似乎和他们不一样的人身边才会舌头打结
The shy aren’t awkward around everyone– they’re tongue-tied around those who seem most unlike them
这种感觉基于一些很表面的东西:
on the basis of a range of surface markets:
年龄 阶级 品味 习惯 信仰 背景或宗教
age, class, tastes, habits, beliefs, backgrounds, or religions.
不带任何恶意的 我们可以将害羞定义为一种头脑中的排外主义
With no unkindness meant, we could define shyness as a form of provincialism of the mind
过分依赖自己的生活和经验
and over-attachment to the incidentals of one’s own life and experience
不公平地将别人当做令人畏惧的 高深莫测的 不可知的外国人
that unfairly casts others into the role of daunting, unfathomable, unknowable foreigners.
当与来自另一个圈子或领域的人接触时
On contact with a person from another world or province
害羞的人的头脑被差异的禁锢光环所主导
the shy allow their minds to be dominated by a forbidding aura of difference.
他们可能尴尬 并在心里默默的告诉自己 我现在不需要去说些或者做些什么
They may silently and awkwardly say to themselves that there’s nothing to be said or done
因为别人声名显赫 而他们属于默默无名的范围
because the other is famous while they belong to the province of the obscure,
或者因为别人年纪很大 而他们只有20几岁
or because the other is very old while their province is firmly that of 20-somethings,
或者因为别人非常聪明 而他们的领域是非知识密集型的
or because the other is very clever while their province is that as a non-intellectual,
或者因为别人来自有很多漂亮女孩的地方
or because the other is from the land of very beautiful girls
而他们来自男生容貌平平的地方
while they hail from the province of average-looking boys.
这就是他们不能嬉笑 开玩笑 或者感到从容的原因
This is why there can be no grounds to laugh, hazard a playful remark, or feel at ease.
害羞的人并不打算表现出不愉快或不友好他们仅仅是把所有的差异因素
The shy person doesn’t intend to be unpleasant or unfriendly; they simply experience all otherness
作为他们释放善意 展现个性的不可逾越的障碍
as an insurmountable barrier to making their own goodwill and personality apparent.
我们可以想象 在人类历史上 羞怯总是第一反应
We can imagine that in the history of humanity, shyness was always the first response.
山上的人们会因为他们是农民而你们是渔民触发这种感觉
The people over the hill would have triggered the feeling because they were farmers while you were fishermen,
或者他们说话抑扬顿挫 而你们的发音平坦单调
or they spoke with a lilt in their vowels while your diction was monotone and flat.
然而逐渐地 出现了一种与陌生人相处的更全球化 更少排外的方式-
Yet gradually, there emerged a more worldly, less exclusive way of relating to strangers–
我们称之为心理世界主义
what we might call a psychological cosmopolitanism.
在希腊和罗马的古代文明中
In the ancient civilizations of Greece and Rome
由于人们渐渐的要和更多过着非常不同 相互陌生的生活的人接触
prompted by ever increasing encounters between peoples who lived very different and mutually unfamiliar lives,
由于贸易和航运的发展 羞怯的替代方式逐渐发展
thanks the developments in trade and shipping an alternative to shyness developed.
崇拜人类神学的希腊旅人了解到 埃及人尊重猫和某些鸟类
Greek travelers who worshiped human-like divinities learnt that Egyptians revered cats and certain birds.
剃了下巴的罗马人遇到一脸大胡子的野蛮人
Romans who shaved their chins met barbarians who did not.
住在有地暖 柱廊的房子里的议员们
Senators who lived in colonnaded houses with underfloor heating
遇到了住在漏风的木屋的酋长
encountered chieftains who lived in drafty wooden huts.
某些思想家提出了一种方法 认为所有人
And among certain thinkers, an approach developed that proposed that all these humans,
尽管他们的容貌相异 却享有一个共同的称呼…
whatever their surface variations, shared a common call…
正因如此 成熟的人应当转为和不同的人相接触
and that it was to this that the mature mind should turn in contact with apparent otherness.
正是在这个心理世界主义的思路下 罗马作家和诗人特伦斯写道:
It was to this cosmopolitan mindset that the Roman playwright and poet, Terrence, gave voice when he wrote,
“我是人类 所以没有人对我来说是外来的”
“I am human so nothing human is foreign to me.”
基督教利用这种普世的同情感并将之作为他们存在的基石
And that Christianity made use of, in rendering universal sympathy, a cornerstone of its view of existence.
有人成为一个心理世界主义者 不是基于乐观的 爱交际的本性
Someone becomes a cosmopolitan not on the basis of having a buoyant or gregarious nature,
而是因为他们接触到关于人性的基本真理…
but because they are in touch with a fundamental truth about humanity…
因为他们知道 无论外表如何 我们内里是同一个物种 –
because they know that irrespective of appearance, we are the same species beneath–
派对上有些客人舌头打结餐馆中有些骗子感到尴尬
an insight that the tongue-tied guests at the party or awkward seducer in the restaurant
对于这些现象的洞悉是有罪的因为它包含了含蓄的拒绝
are guilty of implicitly refusing.
传统上 等级或地位是羞怯的排外主义的主要来源
Traditionally, rank or status have been major sources of shy provincialism.
农民觉得他不能接近地主
The peasant felt he couldn’t approach the lord,
当伯爵的儿子参观牛栏时 年轻的挤奶工犯了口吃
the young milkmaid stammered when the earl’s son visited the stable.
而今 由于这些禁锢的影响 容貌平平的男孩感觉他永不能和漂亮的女孩出去约会
Today, in an echo of such inhibitions, the boy of average looks feels he could never hang out with a beautiful girl,
普通人没有任何机会和富豪们说话
or the modestly off will lose any ability to talk to the very wealthy.
心灵偏安一隅
The mind just fixates on the gulfs.
我的鼻子看起来像一个孩子用塑胶制成的…
My nose looks like a child modeled it out of plasticine…
你的好像是由米开朗基罗雕刻出来的
yours is as if it had been carved out by Michelangelo.
我害怕失去工作 而你担心的是在墨西哥的业务扩展
I fear losing my job while you fear that the expansion of your business into Mexico
将不会像你预期的那样有利可图
won’t be as profitable as you’d forecast.
心理世界主义者深知差异
The cosmopolitan is well aware of differences.
它们只是拒绝被差异奴役或主导
They just refuse to be cowed or dominated by them.
它们透过差异察觉到 或者更实际的说 只是猜测到群体的统一性
They look beyond them to perceive, or in practical terms, simply to guess at a collective species’ unity.
害羞确实有它富有洞察力的一面
Shyness does have its insightful dimensions.
它注入了一种意识我们可能会因为自己的存在打搅别人
It’s infused with an awareness that we might be bothering someone with our presence.
这是基于陌生人可能对我们不满意或不舒服的敏锐感觉
It’s based upon an acute sense that a stranger could be dissatisfied or discomforted by us.
害羞的人对成为被讨厌的人的危险非常敏感但在大多数情况下
The shy person is touchingly alive to the dangers of being a nuisance, yet in most cases,
我们只是为我们对别人的保留付出不必要的沉重代价
we simply pay an unnecessarily heavy price for our reserve around people
只要我们知道如何表现自己的善良 他们就很可能对我们展开心扉
who might well have opened their hearts to us if only we’d known how to manifest our own benevolence.
我们太过安常守故
We cling too jealously to our province.
长着粉刺的男孩并没有发现他和高中的美女有着同样的笑点
The pimply boy doesn’t discover that he and the high school beauty share a taste in humor
和父亲的关系同样痛苦
and a similarly painful relationship with their father.
人种和年龄的差异使得他们有着共同的痛苦却固执的不相互交往
Races and ages continue not to mingle to their collective detriments.
羞怯是一种令人同情的获得特别感的方式但这种特别最终是过度且毫无根据的
Shyness is a touching, yet ultimately excessive and unwarranted way of feeling special.

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如何克服在人多的地方感到害羞的心理,表现出自信 勇敢的心态。。看看这个视频吧!

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