I’m here today to help you know
how to overcome perfectionism and all the stress that it causes.
Consider a challenge.
Are you ready you up for a challenge?
What I would love to have you do is run
as fast as you can to the horizon.
And back as fast as you can.
Could you do that?
There is a little problem, right?
What happens if you try to run to the horizon?
Well, the rising keeps running in and out in front of you
You never get any closer, why?
The horizon is a concept.
its a mental construct.
It’s a psychological tool that
we use to describe something that we perceive over there.
It’s not a real place.
And that’s why you can’t run to the horizon.
As you think about that challenge,
what does that have to do with perfectionism?
That’s something that sometimes we wear as a badge of honor.
“I’m a perfectionist”.
How’s that going for you?
Have you ever reached that horizon?
You haven’t, why?
Because perfection like the horizon is not a real place.
It’s a construct.
It’s a psychological tool to understand something that we perceive.
But that you can’t reach.
so, why are we so driven toward perfection.
And then that causes a lot of stress too,doesn’t it?
Have you ever felt stressed out
because you felt like ,”Oh, I’m not there yet.”
Yean,you’re not going to get there.
You can’t reach the horizon.
It’s not a real place. I’ve had several experiences as a youth leader
with Scout groups, for example.
I would take these Boy Scouts out into the wilderness
and we’re learning how to use a compass.
It’s called orienteering, right?
And so, I want them to follow a certain course to get to a certain destination.
So,I taught the scouts at that point,
you find your compass bearing.
Let’s say that I want them to go northeast.
Okay,there’s North East on my compass.
And you line yourself up behind North East.
Now,the next thing I want you to do is look up to the horizon.
I want you to find a big tree or a mountain peak or a tall building
over there on the horizon that is in that direction.
Now,go toward that.
Okay,so then they pace off
at 40 paces or whatever it is, right?
Toward the horizon.
Not to. Toward, not to.
不是到达 朝这个方向 不是到达
That’s going to change some things.
Keep that in mind for a minute. Toward that thing.
You’re going that way.
And then when you get there,
you find your new bearing.
Now,I want to go this direction.
For however many paces.
Find something on the horizon that gives you a bearing.
Something to go toward, not to.
I don’t want him to go to the mountain peak.
I don’t want to go to that tall pine tree.
I simply want them to go that way.
We get this idea in our head
that we’re supposed to be at the horizon.
What if we use that as our direction?
We want to go that way.
It provides direction not destination.
How does this apply to your life?
What if you’ve been thinking that
you have to be a certain way as a parent?
You have to do a certain thing in your job.
You have to achieve a certain level of financial success.
Whatever it is.
that’s your direction.
Go toward that.
How are we going to overcome the perfectionism?
Stop judging your self based on the distance
there remains between you and the horizon.
That distance is always infinite.
And you cannot close the gap.
When you measure between a real place where you are
and an imaginary place –the horizon,
you can’t come up with a good measurement or a distance there.
We need to have 2 actual end points to measure against.
Here’s another tip:
When you want to see how you’re progressing on your journey that way,
pause for a minute.
See where you just came from.
That’s a real place.
You can measure the distance
from where you were to where you are now.
And see that you’ve made some progress.
Check it out.
Have you gained some empathy
in your experiences over the past few years?
Hopefully you have if you’re paying attention.
Have you gained some experience?
Have you gained some knowledge?
And you can measure how much you’ve gained.
Let yourself feel the accomplishment of having come that far.
Wow,that feels good.
Give yourself a moment to enjoy that.
And then when you’ve had a chance to enjoy the progress
that you’ve made, come back to where you are,
look at where you’re going toward.
You’re not going to the rise toward the horizon and
continue your journey. This will help with the perfectionism, folks.
然后继续你的旅程 这对完美主义有帮助 伙伴们
You’re not supposed to go to,
you’re going toward.
I hope that helps.
You remember earlier when I said
that sometimes we wear perfectionism as a badge of honor
like there’s something really important about that?
Here’s something that people miss a lot of times.
Perfectionism is contrary to or in opposition to healthy relationships.
Think about it. What if you were to achieve perfection?
First of all,
that would be really weird because you’d be standing at the horizon.
Do you remember the Truman Show with Jim Carrey?
And he was in this world
that was this artificial world that he was being raised in a reality TV show.
And the character in the movie played by Jim Carrey figured
out that there has to be something out there.
And so he started off toward the horizon.
And the producers of this reality TV show was trying to
stop him with storms and all kinds of opposition
to keep him from leaving the studio that was his world.
He actually ran into the horizon.
He’s on a boat, he runs right into their horizon.
And the human mind cannot even comprehend
this because if you run into the horizon,what are you thinking?
Your mind tells you there’s got
to be something on the other side of this thing.
And that was true in the movie.
And he’s kept searching around until he found an exit.
And he’s like,”So long.I’m out of here.”
他说 “再见 我要离开这里了”
What if you actually achieved perfection?
Not only would that be really weird like in the movie.
You’d be thinking what’s on the other side of this.
If you were to actually achieve perfection,
you would not need anyone else in your world.
It would remove the opportunity for you to exchange with others.
Because well, you’re perfect.
You don’t need anything.
That would destroy all of your relationships.
A lot of people don’t think about that
when they’re striving for perfection,right?
That’s not a badge of honor.
not a good thing.
It’s not a place that you want to be.
It’s not even a place.
Remembering that perfectionism is contrary to relationships and exchange.
Might help you to put your mind in a place
where you can actually handle things in a way that you’re not trying to reach the horizon.
If this video has helped you
and I sure hope that it has,
would you please consider sharing it with someone else
who might be having the same questions?
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I’ll see you then.
I’m here today to help you know