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如何继续话题 变身谈话达人

How To Never Run Out Of Things To Say In Conversation

我们都有过这样的经历 — 当你愉快地交谈时
We’ve all been there before — you’re in conversation, things are humming along nicely,
and then out of nowhere, the awkward silence rears its head.
那一刻 你的大脑一片空白
At that moment, your mind goes completely blank,
你不知道接下来该说什么 你能感觉到对方的眼神游离
you don’t know what to say, and you can sense the other person’s eyes wandering
as they look for someone else to talk to.
那种情况糟糕透了 这有5个小技巧
That scenario sucks so here are five tips
to make sure that you never run out of things to say in conversation again.
首先 当你发现自己大脑一片空白时 请用 “我想起”
First, when you find yourself in that situation where your mind has gone blank, play Reminds Me of.
这句话的意思是 你要注意周围的环境
That just means that you look to the environment around you and say,
“你知道吗 这让我想起…” 之后再视情况补充
“You know, that reminds me of…” and then fill in the blank.
It’s great for opening new conversational threads
也可以在别人讲完一个故事后 作为一句衔接的话
and it can also work as a follow-up when someone finishes telling a story
which is how many groups of friends interact all the time.
因为人们会被与其相似者吸引 建立桥梁的就是相关的故事
That’s because people are drawn to others who they feel are similar to themselves and related stories can build that bridge —
just be sure NOT to repeatedly make your story superior to theirs or else you can feel like one-upping.
第二 当你提问时 尽可能保证问题的开放性
Second, when you ask questions, keep them open-ended as often as possible.
所以 与其问:“噢!你来自多伦多 你喜欢那儿吗?”
So rather than saying, “Oh, you’re from Toronto. Do you like it there?”
you might say, “How do you like Toronto? I’m curious to hear more about it.”
The former question invites a one-word response and then awkward silence.
The latter gets the other person talking about the things that they like
which is going to open up more conversational threads.
同时 请记住一个三岁小孩都明白的交流原则
Also, just remember the rule that every three-year-old knows about conversation
which is that simply asking why is a great way to get people to open up more.
所以比如当有人说他们是个人顾问 你可以问
So when someone mentions that they are consultant for instance, you might ask,
“Why did you decide to get into consulting?”
澄清一下 你不必像三岁小孩那样总重复“为什么”
To be clear, unlike three-year-olds, you don’t have to say the word ‘why’ over and over and over.
But drilling down into their motivations will often get you a deeper connection in conversation.
第三 遇到当谈话陷入僵局的最糟情形时 用上一些拯救局面的问题
Third, for the worst case scenario when conversation just flat-out stalls, use revival questions —
these are non sequiturs that bring conversation back from the dead.
这是我最喜欢的三种方法 — 当你在新的圈子里 开过最初的玩笑后无话可谈时
Here’s three of my favorites — if you’re in a new group and conversation dies
after initial pleasantries, a great revival question is, “How do you guys all know one another?”
There’s almost always some kind of story that conversation can build from.
如果你只在和一个人交谈 你可以问:“那么你的故事呢?”
If you’re only speaking to one person, you can say instead, “So what’s your story?”
这个问题的妙处在于 它是开放式的
The great thing about this question is that it is so open-ended that the other person
will probably guide you towards the topics that they want to talk about
usually responding with something like, “You mean what do I do for work or what do I like to do for fun?”
Their tone of voice and enthusiasm will usually tell you the best angle of conversation to continue with.
最后 对于 你很了解的人 可以问问他们对未来的美好计划
Lastly, for people you already know well, ask them about their exciting plans for the future.
这个方法很好 因为这种话题是谈不尽的
This one is nice because it is endlessly renewable
which makes it great for connecting with people in the office or wherever you work.
第四 进行称赞式的冷读
Fourth on the list is to make a complimentary cold read.
若某人爱笑 你可以说:“你看上去很有小孩缘”
So if someone is particularly smiley, you might say, “You look like the type who would be great with kids.”
若他们十分健壮 可以说:“你看起来很喜欢健身”
Or if they’re super strong, you might say, “You look like you’re pretty into fitness.”
如果你掌握得好 他们也许会向你敞开心扉 跟你谈论更多的事
If you get it right, they’re probably going to open up and tell you more about it
即使你说错了 你也可以先聊聊为什么你会有这个第一印象
but even if you’re wrong, you can talk about what it is that gave you that impression in the first place.
使用任何一种方法 你都会找到新的谈资
Either way, you’ve got new conversational material to work with.
第五个也是最后一个 把局势逆转 这样你就不是那个担心会无话可聊的人
And the fifth and final tip is to flip the script so that you’re not the one worried about running out of things to say.
而且 适当的沉默可以让人进一步交谈
Instead, allow the other person to move the conversation forward by getting more comfortable with silence.
说真的 三十秒可能像是过了很长时间
Seriously, thirty seconds might feel like a long time
but if you can just take a deep breath while maintaining easy eye contact,
more often than not, the other person will make a comment or ask you a question.
如果你很想让对方继续 可以重复他们刚才说过的一些话
Or if you really want to encourage them to continue, repeat back the last few words that they said.
This mirroring invites them to elaborate and can often get people to open up in very powerful ways.
So there you have it — five quick and easy tactics that you can use today
to make sure that you never run out of things to say in conversation.
如果你喜欢这些 并且想学到进一步的技巧 可以搜索我的网上课程 — 《掌控魅力》
If you’d like these tips and want more advanced tips, you might want to check out an online course that I created called Charisma University.
It has a full hour of my best strategies to become an expert conversationalist
not to mention separate sections on creating amazing first impressions,
以及讲出引人入胜的故事 树立坚固的自信心
telling captivating stories, developing rock-solid confidence,
and becoming an inspiring leader.
如果你感兴趣的话 现在马上点击按钮加入 你可以学到更多
You can learn more and join today if you’re interested by clicking the button now.
如果你喜欢这个视频或类似的视频 请在油管上订阅我的频道
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and click that notification bell.
希望你们会喜欢这个视频 下期再见
I hope that you enjoyed this video and I will see you in the next one.