Tom Hanks has one of the most captivating personalities in Hollywood.
What’s interesting is that his charm has much less to do with
what he saying compared to how he says it.
So in this video we’re going to break down four habits
that make everything Tom says more interesting,
and how you can use these to ensure that
you are never boring in conversation.
Even if you don’t have super interesting topics to talk about.
The first thing you can learn from Tom has to do with
how he launches into new conversation on topics.
He usually doesn’t just lead into them out of nowhere
instead he gives this listener a reason to care,
and he does so by using a story gap.
Basically hinting at what you can expect
without telling you outright. Here’s an example.
I’ll tell you,I’ll tell you one thing that happenes.
The Tom Hanks ,little tommy hanks on that.
-On that.Larry’s bro.. -Larry’s brother.I’ll tell you what happened to him.
-那件事呢 Larry的兄弟 -Larry的兄弟 我告诉你发生了啥
He gets screwed,and I’ll tell you how.
The question,wait,how did he get screwed?
Immediately pops into your head,
and that is the whole point of a story gap
to raise a burning question in the mind of the listener
that makes them in treat.
Now it’s important that the story gaps you’re creating
having mystery with emotional stakes.
If Tom had said
you’ll never guess how normal my day was no one would care.
So you want to stick with high positive
and high negative connotation words.
when you do this and to be clear,
you can be even more subtle,
and get the same effect of people handing
on every word you say.
In the next clips Tom creates a story gap
just by implying that
what’s coming next is unbelievable or surprising.
My brother is entomologist, so this is true.
But you are a recording artist,
Oh dear. [laughter]
You can use these phrases to instantly
make people more interested in what you have to say,
but the high-order point is that Tom
doesn’t take his audience’s attention for granted.
He earns it , and it only takes this simple phrase to start with,
but that isn’t where he stops.
Because you can bore people if you don’t deliver fast enough
when you finally start speaking.
So Tom continues to earn his audience’s attention,
by using a technique which is our second main point.
He completely inhabits whatever character or action he’s talking about.
when he’s telling you story about Ron Howard.
Tom adopts a different accent
a face and even hand gestures,
and if the volume were off.
You would still see him
flip between Tom Hanks and the Ron Howard character
随着故事进行 在汤姆汉克斯和Ron howard
as the story continues.
Your job is to love the girl, you need to love the girl.
Alright, that’s your job and I just said,
好 那是你的工作 我刚说过
are you gonna fire me because of this? No…No…
Most people stay very flat in their faces when they speak
is saying with their gestures in their accent,
and it means that they can only be fascinating if
the literal words they are saying are fascinating
and in this case. They might blame their inability
to hold the attention of a group on their life circumstances,
saying that nothing interesting happens to them.
This is only half the story though
the other half is that there’s nothing of interest
beyond the words particularly visually.
So don’t hinder yourself in that same way,
when you allow yourself to inhabit the actions
that you were talking about.
It doesn’t matter,
if every joke isn’t perfect or if a story drags a bit,
you’re still fun to watch.
Take a look at some examples of Tom demonstrating this,
and have a conversation
and that whole build up
to action would make the horses, oh my god,[Laughter]
动 起来了 让那匹马 我天 /笑声/
and this had described [laughter]
gave to shaved you brain, gave to shaved you brain. Laughter] [Applause] And what that means?
整整发型 整整发型/笑声//笑声/ 所以那是什么意思？
I have to feel with the problem now is
there’s an awful lot of a spit coffee on people’s laps.
-because of… [laughter] Are you kidding me?
因为… /笑声/ 你开玩笑？！
-I think a lot that’s, know? -look like that.
simple way to practice, this is to simply force on yourself
to pantomime the next time that you’re speaking.
So if you’re talking about running do the running thing with your arms,
and if you’re talking about playing the guitar.
The air guitar is your friend.
You will be shocked how much livelier conversation becomes
and how much easier it is to get a laugh.
Now from everything that you’ve seen so far,
you might assume that Tom
is always over the top and huge in his expressions.
But if you watch this next clip you’ll see something interesting.
Tom actually has a mode of conversation,
that is much quieter and subdued.
Everybody says hello. I’m Julie. I’m sum. Hello.
每个人都在说 哈喽我是Julie 我是Sum哈喽
Nice to see you, what do you do?
But I am judged your voice modern, what do you do?
But I ran bullish telethon, how are you?
And ah…everybody says kind of like a first of an compasses .[laughter]
-do you mean to her? -oh yes it is.
This is a demonstration of dynamics.
It’s when you shape the size of the gestures
or your volume or your tone within a conversation.
These ships can be as big as changing the tone of a story
to match a different emotion.
They said, oh, you know
, uh…The British Islands are beautiful to go biking.
Because it’s so flat.
Nonsense, I don’t know what french were to do.
For what is that world? It is not…
Or the changes can occur within a single sentence
when one word is different from the rest.
Yes, what happens,
you’re there and every day,
is just like crazy love boats scandals resort fantastic.
Playing with dynamics is important
because being fascinating is not just about
always being big and boisterous.
You see people notice and pay attention to things
that are different from the baseline,
and being loud and animated
when you start a conversation is interesting,
because it separates you from most other people.
But if you keep it up non-stop
at some point everything that you say is the same,
and it can become overblown and boring.
So shifts from sad to happy
when appropriate are allowed to soft.
These are what get people reinvested in jokes or stories
regardless of the content of what you’re saying.
Here’s another example.
I always love running in tune seeing whoever, I see..
-I always run up and do bits and I just aim at you. -that’s right.
-我总是跑上去做一些动作 然后瞄准你 -没错
-Intenders then your security team.
-I just, I just yell your name back. [laughter]
-我就是 回喊你的名字 -/笑声/
When it comes to dynamics in your own life.
A good rule of thumb is to come in one level higher
than this situation calls for.
like I mentioned this is gonna separate you from others in a positive way.
But once you’ve captured people’s attention
and a group is listening to your story or what you have to say.
Don’t be afraid to downshift
when it makes sense with what you’re saying.
Great opportunities might be when you’re playing a quiet character,
or shifting the tone of a story for comedic effect.
And we said you guys work here.
they said, every single day. [laughter]
他们说 是啊 每天 /笑/
I say the press, the president’s not even here.
Why do you have to be in?
And they said in case of nuclear war.
You know, things sometime happens.
The fourth point. The Tom demonstrates incredibly well
is in his inclusion of multiple members of a group.
People naturally pay attention when we feel like
what is being said is to us specifically.
And the simple act of greeting someone
can make them feel like the next conversation is for them.
So including more people in introductions
when you enter a room is a smart move,
but you can also call an individual out
in a positive way or ask them a question.
Though this might feel like a diversion
from the main topic of conversation.
When you go out of your way
to include more people in a group.
It becomes more interesting,
because more people feel like
the conversation is for them.
Another option to do this occurs
when you’re about to speak on any kind of topic,
and you can mention
how it relates back to various members of the group.
Even if it’s not something that directly affects their life.
The simple act of acknowledging some relation to them
is going to make them pay closer attention.
Every interview will be about Forrest Gump at some point.
You know, you know that saint says.
You will be a question about saint John for the rest of you now.
Now in larger groups this may be impractical to do for every single person.
So when you’re in that larger group,
and you can’t possibly give everyone a personalized reason to listen.
I contact while speaking is huge.
We’ve talked about this in the Tom Holland video but again.
The three-second rule is in effect
to maximally make them feel. like you’re talking to them.
Give each person or at least each side of the room
roughly three seconds.
To come in a bit under that’s not a deal-breaker,
even a glance can help engage someone quite a bit.
Now we’ve purposely focused a lot
on how to be fascinating
independent of the content of what saying.
It’s a fantastic skill
but what to say is important too.
And if you want to be able to
confidently connect with people in a meaningful way.
So they remember you.
You want both.
And if you’d like to go deeper on that topic,
you might want to check out
our flagship course charisma University.
Charisma university is a video course,
and the entire point of it is to get you more confident,
and more charismatic in just 30 days.
It goes into the exact step-by-step things
that you should do over the course of those 30 days.
So that you’re not only avoiding being boring,
but that you’re developing a charisma
that makes you stand out,
as the person that people want to get to know and to be around.
Whether that’s in the professional world or socially.
It’s different from this YouTube channel,
and that it’s not just random interesting things about any particular.
Celebrity, I’ve got no problem with that it’s fun.
But rather this course is a comprehensive system
to install charismatic habits in your life.
And it’s gonna guide you to develop your own style of charisma
as fast and as reliably as possible.
So if you’re looking for the fast track to
more charisma more confidence.
I definitely would recommend checking out Charisma University.
You click the link on the screen to join today
or to go ahead and learn more.
Either way, I hope that you have enjoyed this video,
and I look forward to seeing you in the next one.
Tom Hanks has one of the most captivating personalities in Hollywood.