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如何让人立即喜欢你 – 译学馆
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如何让人立即喜欢你

How to Make Anyone Instantly Like You (Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy)

几乎所有在看这个视频的人的实际行为
Nine out of ten people watching this video are literally doing
与想让人们接近他们
the opposite of what would make people want to be around them,
了解他们 甚至爱上他们的初衷背道而驰
want to get to know them, and fall in love with them.
看完这个视频 你将了解自己是否是其中之一
By the end of this video, you will know if you are one of those people.
最近我需要外聘公司
I recently needed to hire an outside company
来帮我做一项重大工作
to come into my organization and do a big piece of work.
我们筛选出四个公司
We whittled it down to four different organizations
请他们各自花一个小时推销自己
that came and pitched to us for one hour each
解释自己为什么应该得到这份工作
on why they should get the job.
结果每个团队的表现都令人失望
What happened in each of these hours was depressing.
如果你曾跟一个毫无感觉的人约会
If you have ever been on a date without any chemistry
开过一次无聊的商务会议
a boring business meeting
或者听过一篇冗长无聊的演讲
or listened to a tedious speech.
我想让你看看
I want you to see
我的经验是否可以对其中原因作出解释
if my experience here explains why.
在每次会谈中
In each of these meetings,
这些公司在每个演讲的至少最初30分钟
these companies for the first thirty minutes at least of the hour,
都在谈论他们如何创业
talked about how their business started,
谁在业务中起了关键作用
who the key players were in their business,
他们之前与哪些公司合作过
what companies they’ve worked with before
以及他们与客户合作的过程
and what their process is for working with clients.
在整个演讲的最后
By the end of that whole spiel,
我感到无聊 沮丧 甚至有点生气
I was bored, frustrated, and even a little angry,
因为我真正想知道的 不是其他
because what I really wanted to know, beyond all else,
而是你们明白我的意思吗?
is do you get me?
你们理解我的价值观吗?
Do you understand my values?
你们了解我们公司的核心理念吗?
Do you understand the soul of my company?
我们最终没有跟其中任何一家公司合作
We didn’t end up going with a single one of those companies,
并不是因为他们不够合格
not because they weren’t qualified,
而是因为他们未能与我们产生联系感
but because they didn’t connect.
作为人类
See we as human beings
我们在产生联系感之前 是不会在意对方的
don’t care until we connect.
更怪的是
The crazy part about this is that
别人一直在教我们做些与之相反的事情
we’ve been taught to do the exact opposite of what works.
告诉我们要先介绍自己
We’ve been taught to put our biography first,
然后再想着如何与别人产生联系感
and then worry about connecting,
从小到大一直如此
and we’ve been taught this since we’re kids.
在学校 老师教我们走过去 握手 然后报自己的名字
At school we’re taught to walk up, shake hands, say your name,
但是当我们初次与人交谈时 没人真正关心你的名字
but no one really cares about our name when we first speak to them.
它就像外出调情一样 不是吗?
It’s like going out and flirting, right?
当我们想到跟某人的调情时
When we think of a good moment of flirting…
我们想象的场景就是
Here’s what we think of,
我们和对方的互动很有趣
we have this fun interaction with someone,
然后过了几分钟
and a couple of minutes in,
当我们意识到很开心时
when we realize we’re having fun,
一个人看着另一个人说
one person looks at the other person and says,
“你叫什么名字?”
“What’s your name?”
当下我们因好奇 真正的好奇而发问
We say that now with curiosity, genuine curiosity,
因为我们关心 有了兴趣
because we care, we’re intrigued,
但是当陌生人莫名其妙的对你说
but when some guy comes up to you tonight out of nowhere and says,
“你好 我是Mark”“可是我才不管呢 Mark”
-Hey, I’m Mark.-But I don’t care Mark.
在我们对这个人感兴趣
We don’t care about the name
感觉到与对方建立了关系之前
until we care about the person,
我们不会去关心他叫什么
until we feel there’s a connection.
企业界人士在参加推销会议的时候
People are taught all across the corporate world to go into pitch meetings,
谈论他们的公司
and to talk about their company.
“这是我们如何起步……”
-Here’s how we started…
“这是我们的首席财务官 他是……”
-Here’s our chief financial officer. He is…
谁关心呢?
Who cares?
直到我们建立关系 我们才会关心
We don’t care until we connect.
演讲界充满了这样的演说
The speech world is filled with speeches
最初五分钟常常是
where people start the first five minutes of a speech with,
“让我来解释一下我的背景故事
“Let me just explain a little to you about my backstory,
还有我的创业之道……”
and where I started…”
谁关心呢?
Who cares?
当我们开始一段演讲
When we get up and give a speech,
我们应该说的第一件事
the first thing we should say is,
“这里是一些对你有用的东西”
“Here’s something that will be useful to you.”
顺便说下 一旦我已得到你的关心
By the way, once I’ve made you care,
我会告诉你我的个人简历
then I’ll give you my bio.
但在此之前 我的简历为什么重要呢?
But before that, what does it actually matter?
如果四家公司中 任何一家过来说
If any one of those four companies had come in and said,
“马修 我知道你很忙 我们也一样”
“I know you’re busy, Matthew, and we’re busy too.”
“让我来确认 我是否真的理解了你想解决的问题”
“Let me just make sure that I understand the problem you’re trying to solve.”
“你真正需要的是x y和z”
“What you really need is x, y, and z.”
“对吗” “是的 太棒了”
“Is that right? Okay, cool.”
“所以你真正要达成的是 这个 这个 这个”
So what you’re really trying to achieve is this, and this, and this.
如果他们那样开始讲话
If they had started like that,
他们就会将我置于舞台中心
they would have made me the star of the show,
可是他们却都从自我表现开始
instead all of them started by making them the star of the show.
我们是成年人
We’re adults,
但我们在生活中却带着这种非常幼稚的心态
but we walk around life with this very childish mindset
这跟我有什么关系?
” how is this about me? “
这件事怎么解决我的问题?
” How does this thing solve my problem? “
这是不是与我了解的事情有关?
“How does this relate to something I know? “
我们把自己放在一切的中心
We put ourselves at the center of everything,
也许这不是幼稚 也许这是生存
and maybe it’s not childish, maybe it’s just survival,
也许这是种现实的生活方式
maybe it’s a practical way of being,
因为这样做能确保
because it’s about making sure
我们会评估每件事与我们的关联
that we assess how everything’s relevant to us.
这样想吧
Think about it this way,
如果我只是一个普通人 你来找我
if I’m just the average person, and you come up to me.
在那一刻 我关心自己多于关心你
In that moment I care more about me than I do about you,
但你希望我关心你多于关心自己
but you want me to care more about you than I do about me,
为此 你需要从改变你的本能开始
In order to do that you have to start by reversing your instincts
关心我多于关心你自己
in caring more about me than you do about you.
听起来简单吧?
Sound simple?
这意味着 有一条简单的捷径
What that means is there is one simple trick that short circuits all of this.
如果你想要对别人很重要
If you wanna be important to somebody else,
首先让他成为舞台的中心
start by making them the star of the show,
把你要谈论的事情 与他及其经历联系起来
and relating what ever it is you’re gonna talk about to them and their experience.
我一直在寻找的是
What I’m always looking for are the distinctions
完全改变他人影响力的区别
that completely transform someone‘s level of personal impact,
我希望这段视频对你来说是一个范例
and this video I hope is an example of that to you
一旦你明白了这个道理
where it’s something that once you know,
它就会变得如此明显 如此容易转换
it seems so obvious and so easy to switch,
但它与我们所学的一切背道而驰
but it runs so counter to everything we’ve been taught.
现在我知道我不是唯一关心这个的人
Now I know I’m not the only one who cares about this.
我认识的很多人对有关约会和关系的建议感兴趣
Within this giant community of people I have who are interested in dating and relationship advice,
也知道其中一部分人喜欢听我谈论
I know there is a kind of sub-community within it of people who love when I talk about
能使他们改善人际关系的事情
anything that relates to thingsthat can make them better in their personal relationships,
能使他们在工作中产生更大影响的事物
things that can make them have more impact in business,
能帮助他们增长激情的事物
things that can help them grow their passions…
人们喜欢学习如何成为
People love learning about how to be a master
人际关系和沟通方面的大师
when it comes to people and communication.
我刚才提到的小部分人当中 有许多人
I know that many of you in that sub-community
是我的“影响”计划的成员
are members of my Impact program,
我最喜欢做这件事了
and that is literally your favorite thing that I’ve ever done,
因为这不仅仅与约会有关
because it doesn’t just relate to dating.
这关乎你们的影响力 说服力
It relates to your ability to make an impact, to persuade,
与不同领域的人打交道的能力
and have skills with people across the board.
现在即使你不是这个计划的成员
Now even if you’re not a member of that program,
但是你对这个计划感兴趣
but you’re interested in this stuff.
今天我有一些特别的东西要分享给你
I have something very special for you today.
我曾给一小群影响者做过非公开的私人培训
I did a private closed-door training for a small group of influencers
教授建立关系和产生影响力的高级技巧
on advanced techniques for connection, and making an impact.
这是我们今天讨论内容的扩展
An extension of what we’ve been talking about here today.
今天是我首次开启免费培训
For the first time ever today I am unlocking that free training
所以任何对这种进阶课题感兴趣的人
so that anyone who is interested in this advanced stuff
都可以来了解更多
can come and learn more about it.
你只需要访问这个链接 看看它
All you have to do is go to this link, check it out.
我迫不及待地想知道你对它的看法
I can not wait to see what you think of this.
这是非常私密的
This is very behind the curtain.
你将听到我谈论我自己
You’re gonna hear me talking about me.
你将听到我谈论我的公司
You’re gonna hear me talking about my company.
你会听到我谈论不想在YouTube说的事情
You’re gonna hear me saying things that I don’t come to YouTube to say.
所以现在点击观看免费培训
So click to watch that free training right now,
我请求你做一件事作为回报
and I ask you one thing in return.
当你进入网站 请给我留言让我知道
When you get there leave me a comment letting me know
那里的视频如何用于你现在的生活
how what you’re watching there applies to your life right now,
因为我想进一步了解对培训感兴趣的一类人
because I wanna learn more about the type of person that’s really interested in this stuff.
网站见!
I’ll see you there.

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视频概述

如果你想了解如何迅速与他人产生联系与共鸣、受到关注,那么这个视频你一定不能错过!

听录译者

收集自网络

翻译译者

CT

审核员

审核员B

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KAhT5UdZqSM

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