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三分钟告诉你怎么做恐怖电影 – 译学馆
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三分钟告诉你怎么做恐怖电影

How To Make a SLASHER Film In 3 Minutes Or Less

怎样制作一部恐怖片
三分钟或以内
如果你想制作一部恐怖电影那你来对了地方
So you want to make a horror movie, well you came to the right place.
当你能模仿人们实践了数十年的方法时 为什么还要尝试创新呢?
Why try to be original when you can follow the same cookie cutter recipe people have been following for decades.
你准备好了吗?我们开始了
Are you ready? here we go.
首先 你需要这些角色
First of all, you need these characters.
一个有着优异成绩和完美生活的白人处女
A white virgin who has great grades in a perfect life.
一个只听匪帮说唱的黑人朋友而且他非常喜欢说:
A black friend who listens to gangsta rap exclusively and just loves to say:
哦 该死 不!
Oh hell no!
一个常被描绘成超级荡妇的金发碧眼妞
A blonde friend who can only really be described as a super slut.
还有一个表现得很有男子气概但其实内心很向往三通的校园风男友
And a preppy boyfriend who acts all macho but is really a ** at heart.
然后你需要一个反派
Next you need a villain.
他通常是个面具疯子
We’re gonna go with a masked lunatic.
他戴什么面具并不重要
It doesn’t really matter what mask he wears
只要他穿得和万圣节硅胶娃娃很像就行
as long as as easy to reproduce as a silicon children’s Halloween costume.
他可以使用多种武器如刀子 链锯 爪子……
He can use a variety of weapons, such as knives, a chainsaw, claws.
但是确保他从不使用实用武器 比如一把枪
But make sure he never uses a practical weapon such as a gun.
如果他用枪的话电影会在十分钟内结束
If he does, your movie will be over in about ten minutes.
你可以将角色放在这些场景里
You are allowed to place your character in one of two locations.
树林里一座肮脏的木屋或者一座摇晃的旧房子
A nasty old cabin in the woods or rickety old house.
那就够了没有例外
That’s it, no exceptions.
如果你的电影准备好了开始表现杀手的杀戮时
Would your film really gets going on the killer slicing and dicing,
以下几条是必备不可的
there are several things that need to happen.
第一条 你的角色们需要分开行动
Number one, your characters need to split up.
-“我们应该分开行动”- “你能在红色标志处看到门”
– “We should split up.”- “you can see the door in this red one.”
“待在这儿”
Just down there.
-“我们应该分开搜索这儿”-“我们应该分头行动”
We’re gonna have to split up to search this place.
我知道这说不通 但相信我
I know it doesn’t make any sense, just trust me.
第二条 要是黑人加了警察 电影还会恐怖吗?
Number two ,what’s your movie be scary if the black called the cops.
不 一旦杀戮开始 务必保证手机都没信号
No, once the killing starts make sure your character’s cell phone has horrible connection.
“手机的意义就在于你有急事时它能派上用场”
The point of having a portable phone is that it works when you need it.
“不 我们无法得到任何信号”
No, we can’t get any signal out here.
-“有信号吗?”-“没有”
-Any signal?-No, nothing.
“信号范围太小了”
……everything.
“没有信号 我讨厌南方”
No bars, I hate the south.
第三条 你想知道什么使得恐怖电影更惊悚吗?
Number three,you want to know what makes horror movies really scary?
当然是跳吓
Of course you do,jump scares.
恐吓者在哪里不重要 只要让他跳出来就行 他们每次都被这招给吓到
I don’t care where the characters are made jump out at them and buy them.
当然“他们”就是观众
Of course I mean the audience.
吓唬你的观众的更好方法就是让他们以为这里将会出现跳吓
An even better way to scare your audiences and make them think there’s about to be a jump scare.
但是并没有出现
and then fake them out.
然后每次都立刻丢出来一张恐怖的脸去吓他们 亚当每次都被这招给吓到
Then immediately throw a creepy face right Adam gets them every time.
第四条 确定你的角色们失去了他们的平衡技能
Number four make sure your characters lose control of their basic motor skills.
而且连简单的事都做不好比如开门 跑的时候别绊倒自己的脚
And can’t perform simple tasks such as opening doors and running without tripping over their own feet.
第五条 死亡的顺序
Number five, the order of death.
黑人明显是最先死亡的然后是超级荡妇和男友
Obviously the black guy dies first followed by the super slut and then the boyfriend.
那处女呢?你让我想想
What about the virgin?You made me think.
绝不要杀死她我是认真的
Never kill her, I mean it.
即使在森林之中 反派的屠刀就横在她的喉咙上
Even if your villain has a butcher knife right up to her throat in the middle of a forest.
找到一种方法让她活下来
Find a way for her to make it out alive.
最后 第六条在你电影的结尾你可以让坏人去死吗?
And finally number six, at the end of your film you can make the villain get killed,right?
错了即使他被链锯锯成了小碎片
Wrong. Even if he gets cut up into tiny little pieces with a chainsaw,
他的眼睛仍然应该在电影的最后一幕睁开
his living eye has to snap open in the last shot of the film.
如果不这样你怎么制作续集 前传或者是三部曲
if not how do you make a sequel.
如果你还想财源滚滚来 你需要让你的反派活着
or prequel or trilogy. If you want to keep the money flowing in, you got to keep your killer alive and that’s it.
所以 就是这么多
遵循这些简单的指示你可以创造你自己的恐怖电影
Follow these simple instructions and you could have your own cookie cutter horror movie in no time.
或者你可以更有创造性的去选择如何吓唬观众
Or I mean you could be creative with how you choose to scare people.
我开玩笑的啦
Ah… who my kid.
无电影无槽点

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