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如何变漂亮

How to Look Beautiful

When we are very concerned about certain of our physical features
我们对自己的某个生理特征感到非常焦虑时
a nose that is stubbornly a bit too large,
比如总觉得鼻子有点太大了
eyes that are slightly too far apart,
眼睛有点分的太开
hair that is not as lustrous as it should be.
头发本应该更有光泽
We miss an overall point about our relationship to our appearance:
我们忽略了外貌和我们自身之间的关系
how beautiful we feel
我们觉得自己有多漂亮
has nothing to do with the objective structure of our face or body.
跟我们脸部或身材的客观构造没有关系
It isn’t what we look like that counts.
我们长的怎样不重要
It’s how we feel inside.
我们内心的感觉才重要
Our self-assessments are in the end
我们的自我评价说到底
solely based on our relative degrees of self-love
仅仅基于我们的自爱程度
and self-contempt.
和自卑程度
There are people of ideal proportions and exceptional beauty
有些人有着完美的身材比例和无与伦比的脸蛋
who cannot bear what they see in the mirror
却无法忍受他们在镜子里看到的自己
and others who can contemplate a less than svelte stomach
而另一些人却愿意接受没那么纤瘦的肚子
or a no longer so supple kind of skin
和不再柔软的皮肤
with indifference and defiant good humour.
并对此豪不关心 大胆自嘲
At a tragic extreme,
在一些可悲的极端情况里
there are heart-breakingly fine-looking people
许多有着盛世美颜的人
who starve themselves to ill-health
把自己饿得生了病
and eventually die out of a certainty,
甚至有人最后会因此死去
immune to every logical argument,
他们听不进任何
of their own unsightliness.
认为他们丑的理性评论
We are surrounded by industries that seek to help us to improve how we look.
我们身边有很多想帮助我们改善外貌的产业
Dieticians who are on hand to reduce our waistlines,
有能减小我们的腰围的营养师
aerobic teachers who offer to tone us,
能使我们更强壮的有氧教练
beauticians who will equip us with foundation and mascara.
可以给我们上粉底和睫毛膏的化妆师
But however well meaning their efforts,
尽管他们的工作有积极意义
they fail completely to grasp the sources of a healthy regard for one’s own appearance.
可他们完全没找到一个人外貌自信的健康来源
The issue is not whether we look extraordinary today,
问题不在于我们现在看起来多么出众
but whether or not we were once upon a time,
而在于是否曾有这么一段时光
when we were small and defenceless before the judgements of those who cared for us,
当我们还弱小无力 关注我们的人还没有妄加评论的时候
sufficiently loved for our essence.
我们的本质就得到了足够的爱
This will decide whether our appearance can later on be a subject of negligible concern to us or not.
这将决定我们将来是否会在乎自己的面貌
The truly blessed among us are not those with perfect symmetry;
我们中真正幸福的人不是那些有完美身材比例的人
they are those whose past affords them the luxury
而是那些不论自己在镜子中形象如何 都保持平常心的人
not to give too much of a damn whatever the mirror happened to say.
正是他们过往的经历 赋予了他们如此宝贵的品质
The way to help someone feel beautiful
让他人外貌自信的方法
is not to compliment them on their looks,
不是去赞美他们的外表
It is to take an interest in and delight in their psycological essence.
而是对他们的心理自我感兴趣并使其快乐
We know that the more comfortable we feel around someone,
我们知道 当我们跟身边的人相处越舒适
the less effort we will make about how we appear
我们越不会花心思在我们的外表上
and conversely, the more anxious we are about the judgement of others,
相反 如果我们越焦虑别人对我们的评价
the more our reflection has the power to horrify us.
我们的外表就越有让我们自我嫌弃的能力
The issue is never that of our appearance,
问题绝对不在于我们的外貌
it is about our sense of our vulnerability to humiliation.
而是我们太过敏感脆弱 对自己感到羞耻
When we meet people who are perpetually sick with worry
当我们遇到那些总是认为自己不够有魅力
that they are not attractive enough,
以至于担心出病了的人
we should not rush in with physical compliments;
我们不要急着对他们的外表做出褒奖
this is only to foster and unwittingly reward
这样只会助长 也潜移默化地激励
an aggravating criterion of judgement.
对他人评价的在意程度
We should learn to spot the wound in their early relationships
我们应该学会找出他们在过去的经历中受到的伤害
that have made it so hard for them to trust
那些伤害使他们很难去相信
that they could matter to others in their basic state
他们原本的样子也会吸引到别人的关注
and that therefore perpetually evokes in them an unflattering self-image.
于是他们一直认为自己是个毫无魅力的人
They are not ‘ugly’ per se,
他们本身并不“丑陋”
they were – when it mattered – left painfully unloved
只是在重要时刻 没被坚定地爱过
and ignored to an extent that they are liable never to have recognised
被忽视过 以至于他们相信自己不会被赏识
or mourned adequately;
也不会得到足够的同情
their arrival in the world
他们的诞生
did not delight a few people as it should have done,
本该令一些人快乐 实则不然
and therefore need compassion, sympathy and emotional validation
因而他们需要同情 关爱和共情
far more than they will ever require
这些需要远远超过了
the tools of outward beautification.
他们对外在变美方法的需要
Feeling ugly
觉得自己长得丑
stems from a deficit of love,
源自于没有获得足够的爱
never of beauty.
绝对不是不够好看
One of the trickiest tasks we ever have to face
我们所面临的棘手任务之一
is that of working out who we really are
就是认识发掘出真正的自己
This book is designed to help us create psychological portraits of ourselves
该书旨在运用一些不常见的 隐晦的 娱乐的以及幽默的方法
with the use of some unusual, oblique, entertaining and playful prompts.
帮我们创建一副自己的心理肖像
Click the link on screen now to find out more.
想发现更多有趣的信息 赶快点击屏幕上的链接

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视频概述

如何变漂亮,是通过改变外表吗?这个视频告诉你最根本的办法

听录译者

收集自网络

翻译译者

鱼尾

审核员

审核员YY

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M-qvqQRnunI

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