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如何有效地倾听

How to Listen Better - The Process of Interpreting

与Gray Iman一起学习有效倾听
Learning Effective Listening With Gary Iman
有效倾听 第六集
Effective Listening VIDEO 6
理解的过程 – HURIER 模型
HURIER MODEL – THE PROCESS OF INTERPRETING
倾听并非突如其来的偶然事件
Listening isn’t just a casual event that takes place automatically.
而是一系列相关联的行为
Listening is a series of interrelated behaviors
促使我们达成目标
that enable us to reach a goal.
成为一个高效率的信息接收者
That goal is to be a more effective receiver of messages.
我希望你能学会倾听技能
I want you to have the listening skills
提高人际交往能力
that will make your social interactions with others more productive,
无论是工作上的互动
whether that interaction is on the job,
还是生活中的接触
or in your personal life.
在本视频合集中
In this video series,
我们讨论了研究者兼作家Judi Brownell的理论
we’ve been discussing the work of researcher and author Judi Brownell.
她提出相互关联的六种行为
She proposes there are six interrelated behaviors
这些行为能够促使人们成为有效的倾听者
that enable people to be effective listeners.
它们被称为HURIER方法
This is called the HURIER approach
倾听 明白 记忆
hearing, understanding, remembering
理解 评价和回答
interpreting, evaluating and responding
本集视频将会讨论
This video will tackle the role of interpreting
理解在倾听过程中的作用
in the process of listening.
在Brownell所描述的倾听行为中
Of all the listening behaviors described by Brownell,
理解最为复杂
interpreting is the most complex.
理解会受到动机 共情
Interpreting is impacted by motivation, empathy,
和个人理解非语言信息的能力的影响
and a person’s ability to understand nonverbal messages.
让我们看看这三者
Let’s examine the role these three have
在我们理解听到的信息
on being able to interpret the messages
所扮演的角色
which we are listening to.
提到理解时 首先要研究的是动机
The first area is to examine in discussing interpreting is motivation.
在评估你的倾听效率时
In evaluating how effective you are listening,
问问自己是否真正想理解他人 这点十分重要
it’s valuable to ask if you really want to understand others.
虽然这句话听起来很刺耳
Now as harsh as that statement sounds,
从另一角度看 却有助于提高倾听效率
The reality is that it’s possible to approach listening from the standpoint of,
如果他人想得到我们的理解
if others want me to understand him,
那么他们需要表达清楚
it’s their responsibility to express themselves clearly.
当我们的父母或者朋友一直兜圈子
We might be frustrated that our partner or friend
说话永远不在点上时 我们可能会很沮丧
seems to talk in circles and never get to the point.
因此 我们很容易责怪他人
And so it becomes easy to lay the blame on the other person.
如果我们想要成为高效率的倾听者
If we want to get to the level of being effective listeners,
我们必须集中注意力
We must focus on being personally motivated
去尝试理解或弄明白
to try to interpret or figure out
他人的主要诉求
what the other person is trying to communicate.
你怎样看待动机呢?
How do you describe motivation?
它是一种日渐成熟
It’s a growing level of maturity and responsibility
渴望与他人真实交流的责任感
combined with a real desire to communicate well with others.
提到理解时 其次要讨论的是共情
The second area to examine in discussing interpreting is empathy.
共情是看见和试图体会
Empathy is the desire and ability to see
他人的思想和感情
and attempt to feel how someone else is thinking, feeling,
以及他们想要表达的话语的愿望和能力
or what they might be trying to communicate.
我的一位朋友曾研究过
A friend of mine spent time analyzing cards
失去所爱之人所收到的卡片
sent to those who had lost a loved one.
他发现共情是由部分言语
He found that sympathy was expressed by sentences
如 “听到这个消息我非常伤心”来表达的
that said things like “I’m sorry to hear of your loss.”
他提出共情的定义
He identified the empathy statements as those that
共情是愿意对他人提供个人帮助
expressed a desire to be of some personal help to the person.
你可能会认为 共情是行动而非言语
You might say empathy is going beyond words to action.
在倾听时 共情有助于理解信息
Empathy is necessary to interpreting messages from others in the listening process.
这仅仅是因为他人时常表达不清楚
Simply because other people do not always communicate clearly.
我们错误地寄希望于他人
We falsely expect people to say things to us
希望他们运用我们的方式说话
that are exactly the way that we would say them.
我们十分欢迎 人们站出来
We would all love it if people just came out,
并且明确表达自己的想法
and he said exactly what they mean literally,
但他们并没有
but they don’t.
这就意味着你和我
This means that you and I,
如果想要成为有效的倾听者
if we’re going to be effective listeners,
必须学会站在他人的角度看问题
must learn to put ourselves in the other person’s shoes
并且弄明白他们真正表达的意思
and figure out what they are really saying.
共情意味着能够倾听他人的话语
Empathy is being able to listen to the other person’s words,
并站在他人的角度
and then attempt to view the situation
看待这个问题
from that person’s perspective.
提到解释时 第三个要讨论的是非语言信息
The third area to examine in discussing in interpreting is nonverbal messages.
非语言信息或者可以补充语言信息
Nonverbal messages can either complement a verbal message,
代替语言信息
substitute for a verbal message,
或者与语言信息相矛盾
or contradict that message.
非语言信息包括面部表情
A nonverbal message can be a facial expression,
眼神交流或无眼神互动
eye contact or lack of it
紧张而抽搐 点头 身体语言
nervous with twitches, nodding, our body movement,
等一系列非语言信息
as well as a long list of other things.
在对话的过程中人们总是不断地发出非语言信息
People are constantly sending out nonverbal messages in the middle of conversations.
如果仅仅是关注他们的话语和字面意义
If we’re only focusing on the literal words and their literal meanings
我们就会错过重要的信息
we are missing important messages.
例如 我们正和一群人参观
We might be visiting with a person,
我们谈话时 他们兴致缺缺
and we notice they are not in agreement and interest as we talk.
并且会时不时焦虑
But we also notice they appear somewhat anxious,
无法让身体的其余部位保持镇定
and can’t keep the rest of their body quiet.
我们应该努力去分析
We should be trying to interpret
是否他们正在发送矛盾的非语言信息
whether or not they are sending contradictory nonverbal messages.
正如你所看到的
As you can see,
理解信息是一项复杂而具有挑战性的任务
the task of interpreting messages is a complex and challenging skill.
通过学习 理解能力可以提高
It can be learned and improved upon.
当我们需要聆听他人的感受
We become so caught up and listening to the words people say
并且了解他们对当时情况的看法时
when we should be trying to listen to how they are feeling,
我们十分专注 细心聆听
and trying to figure out how they are viewing the situation.
有时候 我们会听到错误的信息
We sometimes listen to the wrong things.
例如
For example,
我们的伙伴可能会在高速公路上告诉我们
our partner might tell us that we are following too close
我们离前面的车的距离太近了
to the car in front of us on the highway.
我们开始自我防御 因为我们关注他们所说话的字面意思
We get defensive because we focus on the literal words.
我们知道距离前车非常近了
We know we are X number off car links back
并且认为这是对我们驾驶能力的攻击
and view it as an attack on our ability to drive.
理解致力于通过剖析动机
Interpreting focuses on looking at listening
来审视倾听
through the lenses of being motivated to listen.
以真正的共情去倾听
Listening with real empathy
并且努力去理解非语言信息
and trying to understand nonverbal messages.
倾听不仅仅是聆听话语 并做出反应
Listening is always more than just hearing words and then reacting.
倾听是建立社交关系的桥梁
Listening is about building more productive relationships.
倾听者 婚姻美满幸福
Listening is what will make your marriage better,
工作步步高升
your work relationships better,
朋友遍天下
your friendships better.
学会理解他人
Learn to interpret.
下期视频再见
See you in the next video.
和Gary Iman一起来学习有效的倾听
Learning Effective Listening With Gary Iman
英语学习精选
Iman Educational Film Productions

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视频概述

本视频主要讨论理解在有效倾听中的作用

听录译者

XC8849

翻译译者

清风

审核员

审核员_XY

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4BvQzypOTdQ

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