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如何知道你真正想要什么

How to know what you really want | Luke Burgis | Big Think

– Man is the creature that doesn’t know what to desire.
人类是一种不知道自己想要什么的生物
So we look to other people in order to know.
为了知道应该想要什么 我们就去观察别人
We’re very different than any animals.
我们跟其他动物都不一样
Animals have instinctual responses;
动物们遵循本能
they’re hungry, they eat.
它们饿了就吃
If they’re cold, they look for warmth.
冷了就找个温暖的地方
And we have those instinctual drives, too.
其实我们也被这样的本能所驱动
But how we’re different
但我们的不同之处在于
is that we have this whole universe of abstract desires
我们有另一个愿望宇宙 充满了抽象的愿望
that we don’t have any kind of internal radar for.
它们并不以内在的生理本能为基础
We don’t have a mechanism for choosing between these objects of desire.
所以没有生理机制来驱使我们在这些愿望中做选择
Desire requires forces that are bigger than ourselves.
达成这些愿望需要强于我们自身的力量
If we could snap our fingers and want anything,
如果我们打个响指就可以获得任何东西
then the world would be a very different place.
那我们的世界会面目全非
But that’s not the way that desire works.
所幸这么做并不能达成愿望
explain it like I’m smart
用我所学 为你解释世间万物
So what is mimetic desire?
那么 什么是“模仿型愿望”?
To say that desire is mimetic is to say that it’s imitative.
说愿望是模仿的 并不是说它不是你自己想出来的
We look to models of desire,
我们总是去参考各种愿望的范本
people that help show us what is worth wanting.
指望别人帮我们弄清什么是值得拥有
There’s kind of a certain humility needed
发现“我们的愿望是由他人的愿望衍生而来”
to understand that, “I’m the product of other people’s desires,
总有几分羞辱之意
starting with my parents,
不论它是衍生于父母
starting with the friends that I had when I was a kid.”
或衍生于我们的童年伙伴
We continue that process of mimetic desire well into adulthood,
直到长大成人 我们都一直在产生“模仿型愿望”
where it goes underground and becomes a lot more hidden
只是长大后 这些愿望藏起来了 难觅踪迹
than it is when we’re children.
而不像小时候那样表露在外
There are two kinds of desire, thin and thick.
这种愿望分为两种 浅层的和深层的
Thick desires are like these layers of rock
深层的愿望如同岩层
that have been built up throughout the course of our lives.
它们随着我们人生的阅历成型
These are desires that can be shaped and cultivated
这种愿望能被人为塑造和培养
through models like our parents
比如我们想成为父母那样的人的愿望
and people that we admire as children.
以及想成为童年偶像那样的人的愿望
But at some level, they’re related to the core of who we are.
某种程度上 它们与我们的内心真正的自我息息相关
They can be related to perennial human truths:
它们关系到永恒的人生真谛
truth, beauty, goodness, human dignity.
关系到真 美 善 和尊严
Every human being has them.
每个人都有这样的愿望
What I call thin desires are highly mimetic and ephemeral desires.
而我所指的浅层愿望包含更多模仿成分 是短暂的
They’re the things that can be here today, gone tomorrow.
它们可能今天刚萌生出来 明天就消失了
They’re subject to the winds of mimetic change,
它们随着我们模仿风向的变化而变化
because they’re not rooted in a layer of ourselves that’s been built up over time.
因为它们没有扎根在我们内心深处 无法变成长久的愿望
I think of thin desires like a layer of leaves that’s sitting on top of layers of rock.
我觉得浅层愿望就像落在岩石上的一层树叶
Those thin desires are blown away with a light gust of wind.
一阵微风就能吹走这些浅层愿望
A new model comes into our life; the old desires are gone.
一旦我们生活中有了新的愿望 旧愿望就消失了
All of a sudden we want something else.
于是我们总是忽然就开始追求别的东西
A lot of people will find out that their careers are the product of thin desires.
很多人的事业方向就是浅层愿望的产物
And as soon as they have a powerful enough model in a different career,
一旦他们在另一个领域发现了更有感染力的偶像
they change,
他们就改变了自己事业的方向
and then they do that four or five times
而他们要等变来变去四五次之后
before they realize that they never rooted their journey
才会意识到他们从没有把自己的人生方向
in the thick desires that will not so easily be shifted by other people.
扎根进不会轻易被他人动摇的深层愿望中去
Being able to identify the difference between thin and thick desires is the key
能够明白浅层和深层愿望的区别是很重要的事
to taking back some control about the desires that we feed and the desires that we let go
这样我们才能控制愿望的萌生 而当我们意识到自己最终
because we recognize them as not bringing us ultimate fulfillment.
无法从某些愿望中获得成就感时 也能果断地抛弃它们
In the stream of daily life, we’re pushed and pulled in a million different directions.
日常生活中我们随波逐流 被拉扯进不同的方向
And if we don’t extract ourselves and find time for recollection,
如果我们不把自己抽离出来 找时间回顾自己的过往
we won’t be able to listen to our lives, to listen to others,
我们就无法倾听自己的心声 也无法倾听他人的心声
and to understand the way that our relationships
也就无法明白我们与他人的关系是如何发展的
and our desires are growing and emerging.
不明白我们的愿望是如何产生的
And we’ll be surprised if five or ten years from now,
然后等再过五到十年 我们就会惊讶地发现
we want something or we’ve pursued desires that have led us to a place
我们渴望的东西和我们追求的愿望并没有
that we really may have not wanted to go.
把我们带到自己真正想去的地方
The listening is critical to the transformation.
倾听心声是帮我们改变的关键
Parker Palmer said that,
帕克·帕尔曼曾说过
“Before I can tell my life what I want to do with it,
“在弄清楚我希望这一生怎么度过之前”
I have to listen to my life telling me who I am.”
“我必须先倾听我的内心 以此找到真正的自我”
How many of us do that?
我们中有多少人会这样做呢?
So if we want to desire differently,
所以如果我们想要改变愿望的模式
mine your life for those stories
那就去挖掘你的人生 找出那些你经历过的
when you were engaged in deeply meaningful and fulfilling action,
具有深刻意义也给你带来了成就感的故事
and see if there’s a pattern.
然后看看它们是否遵循某种轨迹
I promise you, if you go through your life
我向你保证 只要你遍历人生
and you identify three, four, five of these fulfillment stories,
找出三件 四件 五件这样有成就感的故事
you will probably begin to see a pattern emerge.
你很大概率就会发现一种轨迹
And that’s your life telling you something
那就是你的人生在告诉你
about where you find fulfillment in your desires.
追求达成什么样的愿望才是你的心之所向
We usually wanna get to the transformation and the change right away,
我们一般都想立刻开始改变
but before we can go there,
但在我们开始之前
we have to simply take the time to listen.
我们一定要花点时间去倾听心声
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视频概述

人其实不知道自己真正想要什么。我们只是不断地观察别人是怎么做的,然后模仿他们。大思想家来告诉你如何找到自己的人生方向。

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收集自网络

翻译译者

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视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dtBtov2f7e4

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