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如何增加你的价值——蜜友课4

How To Increase Your Worth

这里是《激励胶囊》
Improvement pill here.
欢迎来到《蜜友课》第四课
Welcome to lesson 4 of the BeeFriend course!
之前课上 我们讲了一个非常重要的
In our previous lesson we learned about an extremely important rule
需要我们牢记在心的准则
that we have to keep in mind to make sure
就是确保我们在交朋友而非树敌
that we’re making friends and not enemies.
今天的课上 我们将探讨一个有力概念
In today’s lesson we’re going to talk about a powerful concept
它可能能将你的交友速度
that has the potential to two times three times heck even five times
提高两倍三倍甚至五倍
the speed of which you make friends.
让我们花几秒想象一下
Let’s imagine for a second that
如果每个人头上有个代表他们价值的数字
above every single person’s head – is a number that represents how much they are worth.
这常被称作价值概念
This is a concept that is often referred to as value.
虽然看上去很肤浅
And as shallow as it seems,
但我们越不愿这样做
as much as we’d like to think we don’t do this,
越会自动设定周围人的价值
we are all automatically assigning values to the people around us.
我们和大多数哺乳动物的大脑都具备这种能力
See our brain and also the brains of most other mammals have evolved to do this
因为我们能在头脑中分出高低贵贱
because it allows us to create a hierarchy in our heads.
我们能找出房间里最有权力的人
It allows us to figure out who the most powerful person in the room is.
我们可以分出谁是我们要努力争取的
Who we should try to gain the favor of
谁是没那么有用 可以忽略的
and also who isn’t so useful and can be ignored.
这很重要
This was important because
因为数百万年来 人们过着群居生活
for millions of years we humans used to live in tight knit groups.
如果你不能辨认出
If you couldn’t identify and gain the approval
群体中价值最高 权力最大者
of the people with the highest values in this group,
也就是群体负责人
the people who were in charge,
并赢得他的芳心 你的生存就有风险了
the ones with the most power, your life would be at risk.
或许你现在正在想
Now you’re probably wondering.
我知道《激励胶囊》很棒
Improvement Pill that’s nice to know and all but
但这和交友有什么关系?
how in the world does this relate to befriending people?
你的价值与周围人相比越高
While the higher your perceived value is in comparison to the people around you,
你越容易和别人交友
the easier it will be for you to befriend others.
人们还没见到你就想和你交朋友
People will want to be your friend before even meeting you.
就想赢得你的喜欢
They will want to win your favor.
然而 如果你的价值太低
However, if your value is too low
你将很难交朋友
– you will have a much harder time making friends.
事实上 人们可能会开始忽视你
In fact, people might even start ignoring you.
现在 这带来了两个问题
Now this brings up 2 questions.
第一 我们如何确认我们当前的价值
Number one how exactly do we determine what our current value is?
第二 我们怎么增加当前的价值
And number 2 what can we do to increase it?
以下是人们判断他人价值的三种依据
Well there are 3 categories of things that humans look at when determining how much someone is worth.
我们将简要介绍每一种
We’ll briefly go through each one
并谈谈如何在这些方面提升你的价值
and also talk about what you can do to improve each of these areas.
第一种是外表
The first category is Looks.
人的外貌体态
Someone’s physical appearance.
我们会观察他人的卫生情况
We look at hygiene.
一个人是否精心打理自己
Whether or not someone is well groomed.
如果你看起来和闻起来像几个星期没洗澡
If you look and smell like you haven’t showered in weeks
你的感知价值会大打折扣
your perceived value will be much lower.
去洗个澡 剪个头 洗洗衣服
Go take a shower, get a haircut, do your laundry,
剪剪指甲 照顾好自己
clip your nails, and take care of yourself.
因为如果你看起来甚至不能照顾好自己
Because if you look like you can’t even take care of yourself
那你看上去也无法照顾别人
you’ll look like someone who can’t help take care of others.
我们从两方面看外表吸引力
We look at physical attractiveness which can be broken down into two parts.
其一是健康指标
The first are indicators of health.
如果你很胖 如果你看起来病殃殃的
If you’re extremely overweight, if you look sick,
如果你看上去特别累 那么你的感知价值在下降
if you look extremely tired – your perceived value is lower.
这是因为你看上去会拖累整个团队
This is because you look like someone that will drag down the group.
多锻炼 饮食健康 睡好觉
Hit the gym, fix your diet, and get proper sleep.
其二 好基因也是我们追求的外表吸引力
The second type of physical attractiveness that we look for are good genetics
这意味着你能生出健康的后代
which means you can produce healthy offspring.
好基因有价值是因为人类文明存续的唯一方式
This has value because the only way we can continue the human civilization
就是生出可以存活至成年的后代
is by producing offspring that survive into adulthood.
所以我们本能地追求一些东西
So we instinctively look for things
比如男女脸部的对称性
like symmetry of the face for both genders,
比如男人追求身材高大 宽肩 下巴线
height, wide shoulders, and jaw line, if you’re a guy,
比如女人追求臀腰比 胸部大小 年轻程度
hip to waist ratio, breast size, and youthfulness, if you’re a girl.
这个话题很敏感 因为很多东西不可能改变
This is a touchy subject because many of these things are impossible to change.
你不可能改变身高或者脸部的对称性
You can’t really change things like your height or the symmetry of your face.
但好消息是 这些因素只是难题的一部分
But the good news is that these factors are only part of the puzzle.
如果你专注于其他能增加你价值的东西
If you focus on everything else that can increase your value
你仍能成为一个非常有价值的人
you can still become someone of very very high value.
例如 可以去健身房练出宽厚的肩部 增加肌肉
For example it’s possible to get wider shoulders and increase muscle mass by going to the gym.
你也可以利用时尚为自己加分
You can also use fashion to your advantage.
这是我们最终追求的关于外表的东西
Which is the final thing that we look for in regards to Looks.
你穿戴的配饰衣物可以弥补你身体特征的缺陷
The objects and clothing that you wear can compliment the features of your body.
可以让矮的人看起来更高
Someone who is short can look taller,
可以让胖的人看起来肌肉发达
Someone who is a chubby can look more muscular,
可以用衣物和配饰
and someone who has poor face symmetry can create the illusion of symmetry
让脸部不对称的人看上去对称
by using clothes and accessories to their advantage.
下一种我们追求的 能确定人的价值的东西是地位
the next category of things we look for in order to determine someone’s value is Status.
本质上就是他们有多大权力
Essentially how much power they have.
我们以财富作为指标
We look for indicators of wealth.
钱是一张有特定价值的纸
Money is is literally a piece of paper that has an assigned value.
你可以用那张纸换食物
You can trade that paper for food.
你可以用那张纸换房子
You can trade that paper for a house.
这就是为何人们喜欢将金钱作为成功的标志
This is why people like to talk about money as an indicator of success
因为赚的钱越多 技术上说 你就越有价值
because the more money you make the more valuable you technicallyare.
然而 你不可能拿出你的银行对账单
However, it’s not like you can just pull out your bank statement
然后展示给你遇到的每一个人
and show that everyone you meet.
财富的表达很微妙
Wealth is something that is best subtlety conveyed.
珠宝和手表这样的配饰在展示财富中起着重要作用
Fashion plays a big role, things like jewelry and watches,
你的慷慨大方也是财富的标志
but also how generous you are are all indicators of wealth.
但要注意的是
But it’s important to note that
财富在发展中国家比在发达国家更受重视
wealth is something that is valued much more in developing countries as compared to modern ones.
例如 在纽约 戴着名表 拿出几百张钞票
For example in NYC you won’t be impressing anyone
并不会给人留下深刻印象
by wearing a fancy watch and flashing a couple hundreds.
反而可能遭受别人的白眼
In fact people will most likely roll theireyes at you.
但在发展中国家这很管用
But in a developing country that’s a pretty big deal.
不管怎样 保持财务状况良好很重要
Either way it’s still important to have your finances intact
因为如果你身无分文
because if you’re dirt broke
你不能给别人带来任何东西
you won’t be able to bring anything to the table.
相反 你会被迫成为价值的索取者
Instead you’d be force to become a taker of value,
一个需要他人帮助才能生存的人
someone who needs the help of others to survive.
那些只会索取的人会被立即视为低价值人群
People who can only take are immediately seen as low value.
多想想那些无家可归的人
Think about most homeless people.
他们因被迫乞讨而几乎成为隐形人
They are virtually invisible because they are forced to beg for help.
接下来表明一个人地位的是职业
The next thing we look for in regards to Status is someone’s career.
我们会寻找一些迹象 来分辨这个人
We look for signs that tell us what sort of role this person plays
在我们的环境中扮演着什么角色
in the setting that we’re in.
比如说 如果你在医院
For example if you’re in hospital
穿得像外科医生的人比穿得像护士的人更有价值
the guy who is dressed like a surgeon is gonna have much more value than the one dressed like a nurse.
如果你在夜店
If you’re in a night club
DJ比舞池里的人更有价值
the DJ is going to have more value than some random dude on the dance floor.
最后我们要找的是社交证据
And finally the last thing we look for is social proof.
基本上就是 你有多少朋友 你的知名度就有多高
Basically how many friends you already have and also how well known you are.
如果一个人走进房间
If somebody walks into the room
每个人都面带微笑和他们打招呼
and everyone says hi to them and they’re all smiling
你就会问自己:“哇 那家伙是谁?”
you wonder to yourself “ wow who is that guy ” –
但是如果一个人走进房间 径直走向角落
but if someone walks into the room and just sits in the corner
坐下玩手机 你根本不会注意他
and plays with his phone you don’t think anything of him.
社交证据是两个最有力的价值指标之一
Social proof is one of the 2 most powerful indicators of value.
如果很多人都认识你
If a lot of people know you –
你本质上就是个名人
you’re essentially a celebrity and it doesn’t really matter
无论你长得如何 有多少钱
what you look like or how much money you have
人们都会自然而然地想和你互动 因为你出名
– people will automatically want to interact with you because of your fame.
所以 即便你不是最好看的
So if you’re not the best looking guy
你仍可以通过简单学习如何和周围人交友
you can still increase your value tremendously
极大地提高你的价值
by simply learning how to befriend everyone around you
这本质上也是本课程的目的
– which is essentially the purpose of this course.
在我们讨论决定价值的最后一个方面之前
Before we get to the final area for determining someones value –
我想快速提一下
I do want to mention something very quickly.
看像《蜜友课》《驯服课》
Going through a video course like the BeeFriend Course
这样的视频课程或许很有帮助
or the Tamed Course is very powerful
但比起一对一辅导项目的结果
but it’s nothing compared to the results you’ll get
这算不了什么
from a one-on-one coaching program.
如果你真的想要改变
If you’re someone who really wants to change
并愿意为自己投资
and you’re willing to invest in yourself
请点击下方描述框中的链接注册
please sign up for my mailing list using the link in the description box below.
我将通过邮件介绍更多即将上架的辅导服务
to learn more about my upcoming coaching services.
决定一个人价值的最终方面就是行为举止
The final area we look at when determining someones value is their demeanor,
他们如何行动
how they act.
你的行为举止与社交证据同样重要
Your demeanor is equally as important as your social proof.
我们看肢体语言
We look at body language.
一个人的肢体语言是开放还是封闭
Whether or not someone has open or closed body language.
比如良好的姿势 挺胸 不交叉双臂
Things like good posture, an open chest, and uncrossed arms
都表明你很放松
are all indicators that you are relaxed.
你看起来越放松 感知价值就会越高
The more relaxed you look the higher your perceived value will be.
因为往往社会顶层人士更放松
Because people who are relaxed tend to be the people at the top.
我们将在后续课程中
We’ll dive deeper into proper body language
更深入地探讨正确的肢体语言
later on in the course.
接下来 我们听声音和音调
Next up – we listen to someones voice and tonality.
音调高意味着你的身体是紧张的
If you have a high pitched voice it means that your body is tense.
你不放松
You aren’t relaxed.
就像我们之前说的那样
And like we mentioned before
如果你看上去不放松 感知价值就会降低
if you don’t seem relaxed your perceived value will be lower.
我们也将在后续课程中
There’s also going to be an in-depth video
深入讲解声音和音调
on voice and tonality later on in the course.
最后我们要看的是界限
And finally the last thing we look at is something called Frame.
这是一个很复杂的概念
This is a rather complicated concept
但总结起来 基本就是你有多容易被外界影响
but to sum it up, it’s basically how easily effected you are by outside conditions.
例如 如果有人想要捉弄你
For example if someone was to make fun of you,
你是不是很容易生气的那类人
are you the type of person who would easily get offended
或者你是不是那种一笑而过 不在乎的人
or are you someone who would just laugh because you don’t care.
你的界限越强
The stronger your frame is,
你就越不容易被外界因素所影响
the less you are effected by outside factors,
你越对自己有信心
the more confident you seem in yourself.
这会增加你的价值
Which will increase your value.
把价值看作我们方程前面的乘数
Think of value as a multiplier in front of our equation so far.
如果你是一个有超高价值的人
If you are someone who has an extremely high value
比如说一个名人
such as a celebrity
你能以比正常人十倍还快的速度与他人交友
you can literally befriend others 10x faster than normal people.
我并不是说你必须要成为一个名人
I’m not saying you have to become a celebrity,
但是你应该坚定不移地致力于提高总体价值
but you should definitely work on improving your overall value
以便能以两至三倍的速度交友
in order to 2x or even 3x the speed of which you make friends.
这是一把双刃剑
This is a double edged sword
因为如果你放任自己 降低自己的价值
because if you let yourself go and let your value drop
你会需要花上正常人两至三倍的努力
you will have to work twice or even 3 times
才能与他人交友
as hard as the average joe in order to befriend people.
在下个视频中 我们将开始课程的下一部分
In our next video we’re going start the next portion of the course.
也就是肢体语言
Which is all about body language.
你需要记住 肢体语言交友之初
Body language is the most important factor you need to keep in mind
最重要的因素
when it comes to initially making friends.
如果你做得不对 你就不能成功交友
If you don’t do it right you won’t find any success.
所以请点击铃铛按钮订阅并继续收看本栏目
So make sure you subscribe, hit that bell icon, and stay tuned.

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视频概述

如何在交友中增加你的价值

听录译者

收集自网络

翻译译者

Zeitgeist

审核员

审核员_BY

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bF3iTZ7-N0A

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