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遇到可怕的上司怎么办 – 译学馆
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遇到可怕的上司怎么办

How To Handle A Horrible Boss

让我们面对现实吧
Let’s face it,
你的老板是个傻子
your boss is an idiot.
你要怎么做才能不被炒鱿鱼呢
How do you deal with him or her without losing it and getting fired?
让我们来看看一些不称职的老板
Let’s take a look at some bad bosses
以及怎么拯救他们
and how to survive them.
微管理者
The Micromanager
你知道吗不是’color ‘
You know instead of “color”
COLOR 改一下
“C-O-L-O-R”, let’s change it to
我认为用英式的COLOUR更好
to the British spelling “COLOUR”, I think
你不觉得这更古典吗
that’s a little bit more classic, don’t you think?
我只是写邮件给我妈
This is just an email to my mother.
对了 这是海维提卡字体吗
Yeah, is this Helvetica?
你肯定想这么做
Here’s what you’re gonna want to do.
走开啊 你个婊子养的
Leave me alone you creepy son of a bitch!
感觉很棒吧
Feels good right?
好吧这样做你就能拿钱走人了
Well so does being able to pay your electric bill.
相反 试着向你的管理者询问意见
Instead, try asking your micromanager for feedback
来安抚他更’远大的志向’
to help pacify his more naggy tendencies.
如果你够幸运 他也许会把他的疯狂对准另一个人
If you’re lucky he may focus his crazy on someone else
比如公交车司机或者咖啡师
like a bus driver or a barista.
不现实的老板
The Unrealistic Boss
我希望这个出现在社交媒体上
I want this on social media but I don’t think any
但我不认为现在的平台会这样做
of the current platforms are going to do.
你觉得你拉得回来葡萄藤吗
Do you think you could bring back vine?
这就是问题
Here’s a question.
你对这些事有多熟悉
How familiar are you with anything?
任何一个神智健全的人都想这样做
Any sane person would want to do this.
哽咽
[choke with sobs]
但从长远来说 像其他人一样
But it’s probably better for the long run if you save those tears
偷偷躲到洗手间里哭会比较好
for the bathroom stall like everyone else.
坦诚地告诉(老板)你需要多少时间
Instead, be upfront about the time you need.
毕竟 没什么比动脉瘤更能耽误项目了
After all, nothing delays the project like an aneurysm.
施虐者
The Abuser
是啊…嗯…
Yeah…So, um
这些根本狗屁不通
None of this makes any sense
我觉得你什么都不懂
I don’t think you got any of it.
英语是你的母语吗?
Like…is English your first language for you?
因为就像这是个六
Cuz it seems here like it’s like a six.
你结婚了吗?有妻子吗?对啊
– Are you married? Got a wife.- Yeah.
你有一个时时刻刻想见你的人嘛
You have someone who wants to see you all the time?
哇偶
Wow, Wow.
我们可以用这间办公室做很多事情
We could use this office for like a lot of stuff.
如果你不在这里我们可以放一些我们喜欢的东西在这里
If you’re not here we could put something we want here.
你肯定想这么做
You really want to do this:
啊啊啊啊……
Ahhhhh
但是如果你想避免这些支付昂贵的法律费用
But if you want to avoid expensive legal fees,
试着用一些你能改进的方式
try asking for specific ways you can improve.
确保你得到了准确的指令 避免模糊不清
Make sure you get detailed instructions to avoid confusion.
如果你认为你要应付一个泼妇
If it gets to a point where you feel you’re gonna have to staple a bitch,
最好的办法是离开
It’s probably best to move on.
音乐
[music]

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视频概述

想知道怎么应付奇葩上司么?戳进来

听录译者

陈榆木

翻译译者

Daisy

审核员

审核员U

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aD5R1TZ7-rs

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