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怎样原谅自己过去的错误

How To Get Over Your Past Mistakes

这里是《激励胶囊》
Improvement Pill here.
你会不会每天花上数个小时
Are you someone who spends hours every single day
让同样的坏记忆不断地在脑海中播放呢?
replaying the same bad memories over and over again in your head?
如果是的话 你可走运了
If so, then you’re in luck,
因为在今天的视频中 我将告诉你
because in today’s video I’m going to show you exactly
怎样放下自己过去的错误
how to get over your past mistakes.
要想彻底解决这个问题
Now in order for us to get to the bottom of this problem,
我们必须先谈谈 我们为什么会一直想着过去
we have to first talk about why we think about the past in the first place.
人脑是一个非常强大的机器
See, the human brain is a very very powerful machine
它的主要功能就是维持你的生命
with one main purpose, which is to keep you alive,
这是它的强项
and it’s incredibly good at that.
人类是地球上唯一一个
We are the only species on this planet
能够放眼未来并回顾过去的物种
that can project far into the future and also think back to our past,
这一能力让人类能够在智力上胜过
and this ability has allowed us to outsmart the hundreds of other species
地球上的数百个比我们更强壮的物种
on this planet that are far stronger than us physically.
我们之所以会想着过去
The main reason we think about the past is
主要是为了避免坏事再次发生
so that we can prevent bad things from happening again.
比方说
Let’s say for example,
某天深夜 你独自走在一条黑暗的巷子上
late one night you’re walking down a dark alley by yourself,
这时有一群人向你走来
and you’re approached by a couple of guys.
他们亮出了一把刀 叫你把口袋里的东西掏出来
They pull a knife out and ask you to empty your pockets.
恭喜你 你刚被打劫了
Congratulations! You just got mugged.
事后 你会在脑海中反复播放着那起事件的情况
Afterwards you’re gonna find yourself playing that event over and over again in your head
而且是这样做了几天 几周 甚至几个月
for days, weeks and maybe even months,
原因是 虽然你的身体没有受伤
because even though you weren’t physically hurt,
但是当时的处境非常危险
that was still an extremely dangerous situation to be in.
你有可能严重受伤 甚至被杀害
You could have been seriously injured or even killed.
于是 你的大脑会一直想着这起事件
So your brain is gonna keep thinking about this event
直到它想出了避免这类事件再次发生的方法为止
until it figures out how you can prevent something like that from ever happening again.
这一说法不仅适用于对自身安全有害的事件
Now this doesn’t only apply to physically dangerous events,
因为现在 使我们花很多时间思考的更为常见的事情
because the more common type of dwelling we do nowadays
就是危害精神健康的事件
is on mentally dangerous events.
举个例子 你在工作上或学校里暗恋了一个女孩
Let’s say for example, you have a crush on a girl at work or in school.
几个月后 你终于鼓起了勇气
After a couple of months, you finally muster up the courage
向她表白
to tell her how you feel,
但她却无情地拒绝了你
but she turns you down in a rather harsh way.
虽然这起事件并没伤害到你的身体
Even though this event didn’t harm you at all physically,
但是它会造成精神上的巨大痛苦
it does cause a lot of mental pain.
实验结果表明
Experiments have been conducted where they discovered that
遭到拒绝与身体疼痛 都会刺激到同样的脑神经路径
being rejected lights up the same pathways in your brain as physical pain.
所以说 被拒绝真的会让人很痛苦
So it turns out that rejection does hurt literally.
也因为这样 大脑会把这起事件
And because of this your brain is gonna see this event
看作是一件必须避免再次发生的事情
as something you need to prevent from happening again in the future,
于是它继续想着这件事 直到找到了解决方法为止
and it’s going to keep dwelling on it until it figures it out,
为了做到这一点 大脑会遵循三个简单步骤
and it does so in a simple three-step process.
第一步是找出原因
The first step is by figuring out the why.
她为什么那么无情地拒绝了你呢?
Why did she reject you so harshly?
是不是因为你等了太久才约她出来?
Was it because you took too long to ask her out?
是不是因为你约她出来的方法很别扭?
Was it because you did so in a very awkward manner?
是不是因为你吸引力不够?
Was it because you’re not attractive enough?
你总得找出个原因
You need to figure out a why.
找到了原因之后
Once that’s sorted out,
第二步就是想出解决方法
step number two is coming up with a solution.
如果她拒绝你是因为你举止不自然
If she rejected you because you’re awkward,
有一个解决方法 就是提升社交技巧
then a solution might be to fix your social skills,
特别是在与女生聊天的时候
especially when it comes to talking to girls.
如果她拒绝你是因为你吸引力不够
If she rejected you because you’re not attractive,
一个可能的解决方法
then the solution you might come up with
就是上健身房 调整饮食习惯
is to hit the gym and fix your diet
这样你就会变得更好看 更具吸引力
so that you can look better and be more attractive.
你得想出一个解决方法
You need to come up with a solution that could
不让这件坏事再次发生
prevent this bad event from happening again,
第三步 也是最后一步
which brings us to the third and final step,
就是确保解决方法奏效
seeing that it’s working.
你必须真正有所进展
You need to actually make progress and
还要确保你的解决方法
see that your solution is getting you closer
能够避免这件坏事或者错误再次发生
to preventing that bad event or mistake from happening again in the future.
如果你的解决方法是提升社交技巧
If your solution was to improve your social skills,
你的目标 就是让一些女生愿意跟你约会
then you will eventually get to a point where some girls start saying yes to you,
虽然还会有一些女生拒绝你
and even though some will still turn you down,
但是他们也会有礼貌地拒绝你
they do so in a more polite manner.
有了这方面的进展 你的大脑不仅知道问题已经解决了
Seeing this sort of progress will reassure your brain that you’ve solved the problem,
也会知道这件坏事或者错误发生的机会变少了
that the bad event or past mistake will become less likely to happen again,
这样它就能松懈下来 想别的事情去了
and this will allow it to relax and think about other things.
如果你总是想着自己过去犯的错
Now if you’re someone who keeps thinking about your past mistakes,
原因是你停滞在了这三个步骤当中的某处
then it’s because you’re stuck somewhere in this three-step process.
有些人永远找不出原因
Some of us never figure out the why.
或许我们真的不知道为什么坏事会发生在我们身上
Maybe we really don’t know why something bad happened to us.
如果是这样的话 你就要做点研究
If that’s the case, you need to do your research,
找出一些线索 想出具体原因
look for clues and figure it out.
在遭到女生拒绝的情况下
In the case of girls turning you down,
阅读关于约会或者感情的书籍
reading a book on dating or relationships
或许能让你找到答案
may shine some light on the answer.
你还可以问问朋友 让他们坦诚地告诉你
You could even ask a friend for their honest opinion
女生们为什么不喜欢你
on why the ladies don’t fancy you.
又或者 我们之所以找不出原因
Or maybe we never figure out the why,
是因为我们怪罪了某个控制不了的因素
because we end up blaming something that’s out of our control.
有些人被拒绝后 会怪罪自己的身高 种族等因素
Some guys after getting rejected will blame things like their heights or their race
而这些因素都是不可改变的
which are not things that you can change
这样你就放不下自己的过错了
and this prevents you from moving on,
因为这些原因没有解决方法
because these are whys that have no solution.
你无法改变自己的种族
You can’t change your ethnicity.
你想出的原因 必须是你能控制的
You need to figure out a why that is something that you have control over.
有些人怎么尝试也想不出解决方法
Moving on, some of us get stuck trying to figure out the solution.
如果你想不出解决方法 就上谷歌去搜索吧
If you have no idea how to solve something, simply google it.
说不定 有一本书或者一个视频
Chances are there is a book or video out there
能够教你怎么解决问题
that tells you exactly what you need to do.
你只需要找到它
You just have to find it.
你要善用互联网的力量
Use the power of the internet to your advantage.
最后 有些人停滞不前
And finally some of us never see progress.
可能是因为你并没有把解决方法应用在生活中
It may be because you never actually applied the solution to your life,
原因有几个 比如身份问题
which could be because of numerous reasons, such as an identity issue,
觉得自己不值得改变
not believing that you are worthy of change,
身处恶劣环境 让你改变不了自己
being in a bad environment that prevents you from changing,
上了某种瘾 或者纯粹是懒惰而已
having an addiction, or plain old laziness.
不管怎样 你得真正尝试去执行你的解决方法
Whatever it is, you need to actually try and follow through with your solution.
停滞不前的另一个原因
Another reason why you might not be seeing progress
可能是你所想出的解决方法完全无效
may be because the solution you decided on is ineffective,
这样的事情偶尔会发生
which does happen from time to time,
因为你所想出的解决方法不一定都有效
because not every solution you come up with is going to work.
每个人都是不同的
Everyone is different.
就算某个方法对别人管用
And because something worked for someone else
不代表它一定对你管用
doesn’t mean it’s 100% going to work for you.
这样的话 你只需要尝试一些不同的解决方法
In this case you need to simply try and test out different solutions
直到找到了一个让你有所进展的方法为止
until you find one that actually allows you to make progress.
只要能不让自己在这三个步骤中停滞
By unstucking yourself from wherever you are in this three-step process,
你的大脑就可以正常运作
you will allow your brain to do its job.
你就能成功采取一些步骤
You will have successfully taken steps to preventing
让过去的错误和坏事不再发生
the past mistake or bad event from happening again,
这样 你的大脑才能放开这个回忆
and because of that, your brain will finally be able to let that memory go,
这才是原谅自身过错的方法
and that’s how you get over your past mistakes.
本集视频由 Audible 团队赞助
This episode was brought to you with the help of the guys at Audible.
当你在尝试原谅自己的过错时
If you’re stuck trying to figure out the why
如果你想不出原因或者解决方法
or the solution part of getting over a past mistake,
你就应该考虑使用 Audible 的服务
then Audible is something you should really consider,
因为你所要找的答案 几乎一定能在书中找到
because the answers you’re looking for are almost always found in books.
如今 我读的书几乎都是在 Audible 上听下来的
Nowadays I do just about all of my reading by listening to books on Audible,
主要是因为我能在无法取出书本的地方进行阅读
mainly because it allows me to read in places where I can’t physically pull out a book,
比如在锻炼时 搭车时
such as when I’m working out, commuting somewhere,
甚至在买菜时
or even when I’m doing my grocery shopping.
你所要找的答案 很可能就在平台上的某处
Chances are the answers you’re looking for is somewhere on the platform.
我们生活在一个很方便的时代
You just have to take advantage of the convenient time
不妨利用这个机会去找答案吧
that we live in, and go look for it.
只要登录 www.audible.com/ImprovementPill
Go to www.audible.com/ImprovementPill
或者将 “ImprovementPill” 发送给500 500
or text the word “ImprovementPill” to 500 500
你现在就能获得30天的免费试用期
to get a 30 day free trial right now.
你每个月将免费获得一本有声书
This will give you one free Audiobook
以及两本 Audible 原创作品
and two free Audible originals every single month.
视频到此结束 请继续关注我们!
And besides that guys, stay tuned!

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视频概述

怎样原谅自己过去的错误

听录译者

北水

翻译译者

搬那度

审核员

审核员 DL

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IR47udpYnWI

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