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如何放下前任

How To Get Over Your Ex

Almost everyone experiences romantic love in their lifetime
几乎每个人的一生都会邂逅浪漫的爱情
and although it comes with happiness, euphoria
爱情能带来幸福 愉悦
and increased life satisfaction
增加生活满足感
break-ups are associated with depression mood swings and anxiety.
但分手会带来抑郁 情绪波动和焦虑
So, are there any scientific strategies for moving past a break-up?
有什么科学的方法可以摆脱分手的阴影吗?
How can you get over your ex?
怎样才能忘记前任呢?
The first thing you might wanna do?
你要做的第一件事就是
Stop creeping them on social media,
取关他们的社交媒体
although we might think it’s harmless facebook monitoring a former partner
你可能觉得在脸书上监视前任动态无伤大雅
has been shown to lead to greater feelings of sexual desire
可事实证明 这样会让你产生更强烈的性欲
and longing for an ex
增加对前任的留恋
as well as a decreased level of personal growth.
而且不利于个人成长
This is similar to research of real life contact with an ex.
这种情况类似于现实中的藕断丝连
That is, people who continue to see their ex after a break-up
即 对于那些分手后继续与前任见面的人来说
report greater sadness and love ultimately
他们会更悲伤 更留恋
decreasing their ability to move on.
最终难以翻篇
Similarly, for the 30-50% of young adults in on again-off again relationships,
与之类似 有三到五成年轻人会分分合合
habitually breaking-up and getting back together is associated with increased anxiety
对他们来说 分分合合会加剧焦虑
and depressive symptoms
会带来抑郁
as well as poorer communication and commitment.
还会降低沟通和履行承诺的能力
Other studies have shown
有研究表明
that people who facebook stalk or subtweet at their former partners’
在脸书上偷窥前任 或发推文影射前任的人
are six times more likely to participate in a relational intrusion in real life,
在现实中干扰前任生活的可能性是其他人的六倍
behaviors like showing up at the ex-partner’s classroom or workplace.
比如 他们会出现在前任的教室或工作场所
All this maybe related to the fact that sensory areas of the brain associated with physical pain
这是因为我们看到前任照片时
become activated when shown a picture of an ex.
大脑中主管身体痛感的区域会被激活
In short, break-ups and social rejection can physically hurt,
简言之 分手和受到拒绝会造成生理上的疼痛
so overall it’s probably best to cut the digital, and real life cord with your old flame
所以 最好切断与前任的一切联系
if that fails, perhaps a dose of tylenol.
如果没有效果 可以服用泰诺
A study of undergraduates found
一项针对大学生的研究表明
that taking acetaminophen the common pain killer during a period of social rejection
在遭到拒绝时服用醋氨酚这种常见的止痛药
decreased self-reported levels of social pain
可以降低社会性疼痛
and also decreased brain activity in regions associated with social rejection and physical pain.
还会降低与社交拒绝和身体疼痛相关的大脑区域活动
Tylenol also seems to decrease areas of the brain responsible for aggression,
泰诺还能减弱大脑的攻击欲望
which may help mitigate, say, any desire to carve your name into a leather seat.
这能缓和把名字刻在皮椅上的类似冲动
Keeping a burn book?
写一本“痛苦的书”
You might actually benefit from focusing on the bad parts of your ex to get over them.
关注前任的缺点可以帮你更快走出来
One study had people look at photos of their ex
让志愿者看前任的照片
and immediately used a strategy called Negative Reappraisal,
并立即使用“负面评价”策略
which involves thinking about the negative qualities of a former partner,
即回想前任负面品质
or imagining negative future scenarios with them.
或是想象未来与他们在一起的糟糕场景
This is actually similar to a strategy used for people who are alcohol dependent.
这种方法类似于一种酒精戒断方案
Thinking about the negative consequences of repeated alcohol consumption
思考反复饮酒的后果
can decrease craving significantly.
可以明显降低对酒的渴望
Some participants used a distraction strategy
研究者采取分散志愿者注意力的策略作为对照实验
when given a photo of their ex they were asked unrelated questions
给他们看前任照片 并问一些无关紧要的问题
to distract them. The results?
以此来分散他们的注意力 结果呢?
Negative Reappraisal, decreased love feelings for the ex
进行负面评价的志愿者对前任的好感降低了
but caused a short term unpleasant feeling
但也产生了短暂的不快
whereas distraction increased pleasantness
而被分散注意力的志愿者心情愉悦
but did not decrease love feelings.
对前任的好感没有降低
In other words,
换句话说
thinking poorly about an ex may put you in a bad mood for a short period of time
穷极前任的缺点可能会让你短期内情绪沮丧
but will be beneficial in the long run,
但从长远来看是有益的
by decreasing your feelings for them;
因为这会减少你对他们的好感
while distraction may boost your mood for a bit
而分散注意力虽然可以暂时提振情绪
but not help you get over an ex in the long run.
但从长远看不能帮你忘记前任
Based on this results one researcher suggests writing a list of
因此 研究人员建议失恋者列一个清单
as many negative qualities about your ex that you can think of
将你能想到的前任的负面品质都写下来
at least once a day until you feel better.
至少每天一次 直到情绪回复
All in all, break-ups are tough.
总之 分手是艰难的
Psychologists described one of the most important challenges is
心理学家说 分手带来的最大挑战之一
to regain a sense of self separate from a former partner.
是与前任分开后要重建自我意识
So it may be best to
因此 最好的方法是切断联系 会会旧友 重拾兴趣
unplug and reconnect with old friends and old hobbies,
切断联系 会会旧友 重拾兴趣
in order to heal and move on to the next one.
这样才能疗愈 进入下一段恋情
Greg: So we made this video because we broke.
制作这个视频是因为我们分手了
Joking!
骗你的!
But we probably should’ve called it something like ‘we broke up’
但我们或许应该把视频标题改成“我们分手了”之类的
because that would’ve gone more viral.”
这样视频会更火
Our newest podcast is now up on YouTube.
我们在油管上传了最新的播客
It’s about vlogging where we debate it.
是有关vlog的辩论
“I love it” “I hate it.”
– 我喜欢vlog – 我不喜欢
“Let us know who won.”
让我们看看谁赢
Greg: “We take controversial subjects,
我们会选择有争议的话题
then we tell stories about and then we debate them
讲述前因后果 然后辩论
all while spicing in the science. Farewell.
同时讲述其中的科学道理 以上
“You can subscribe to SideNote on Youtube,
你可以在油管上订阅SideNote
but we’ll also see you back here next Thursday for another science video. Bye.
下周四我们还会分享另一个科学视频 再见

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视频概述

你经历过分手吗?那叫一个煎熬啊!有哪些科学方法能帮你翻篇呢?赶快来看看吧!

听录译者

收集自网络

翻译译者

ABC

审核员

审核员 AF

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n8_QERLOu40

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