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如何熬过心碎——并从中学习

How to Get Over That Broken Heart—But Also Learn From It

如果你是一个喜欢体会所有情绪的人
If you’re the kind of person who like feels all the feels,
可能会发现自己期盼在某一时刻或其他时候
you’ve maybe found yourself wishing at some point or another
希望它们消停一段时间
that you could shut them down for a little while.
比如 抽出情绪芯片 把它从8调到2
Like, take the emotion chip and dial it from an 8 to a 2.
在手机广告中哭泣
It’s a little tiring being the person who cries during the cell phone commercials
或被世界上的不公正激怒或不能熬过心碎
or gets all riled up about the injustices in the world
成为这样的人确实有些疲惫
or can’t get over that broken heart.
相比于你的心 也许你更渴望依赖于你的头
So you might wish you could rely a little more on your head than your heart.
但我们越是研究人脑
But the more we study our brains,
理性和情绪间的那种分歧就越少
the more that kind of dichotomy between reason and emotion is disappearing.
虽然你渴望控制你的情绪
And though, you might wish you could rein inyour feelings,
有时可以――有时你不该这么做
and sometimes you can—sometimes, you shouldn’t.
[片头]
[INTRO ♪]
我们一直认为理性和情感是完全不同的东西
We have a long history of thinking of reason and emotion as totally different things.
柏拉图将其描述为两匹马把我们拉向相反方向
Plato described them as two horses pullingus in opposite directions,
这个观点并没有从此消失
and the idea hasn’t really gone away since then.
我们设置用这些术语来思考我们的大脑
We even think about our brains in those terms.
复杂的思考和推理在“大脑皮层”中进行
Complex thought and reasoning is right there in the term we use
我们用这一术语来描述与之相关的大脑区域
for the brain region associated with it—the “cerebral cortex”.
另一方面 杏仁核这样的结构在情感中扮演着关键角色
Structures like the amygdala, on the other hand, play key roles in emotion.
的确如此
And that’s not wrong.
支持此观点的证据有很多
There is lots of evidence to support the idea that
大脑的不同区域与其独有的功能有关
those separate brain regions are associated with those particular functions.
但并非那么简单――理性和情绪也相互交织的
But it’s also not as simple as that — reason and emotion are also very intertwined.
损伤和影像学研究表明你大脑的另一部分
Lesion and imaging studies have shown that another part of your brain,
前扣带皮质 在两者中都发挥作用
the anterior cingulate cortex, plays a role in both.
虽然是不同部分处理认知和情绪
And while different sections of it processcognition and emotion,
但它们确实对彼此产生影响
they do have an effect on each other.
几项元分析显示 做一些认知上有要求的事情
Several meta analysis have shown that doing something cognitively demanding
比如 做数学作业能减少
doing math homework reduces activity
前扣带皮质情绪区域的活动
in the emotional parts of the anterior cingulate cortex.
反过来也奏效:
It works the other way, too:
强烈的情绪能抑制认知区域的活动
strong emotion can suppress activity in the cognitive parts.
研究和评论认为 我们所谓的“情绪”和
And the studies and reviews arguing that ourso-called “emotional” and
“逻辑”头脑几乎不可能解开纠缠 而是继续积累
“logical” brains are almost impossibleto disentangle continue to pile up.
我们的情绪没有被分隔在不同的脑区的事实
The fact that our feelings aren’t boxed off in a separate part of our brain
解释了它们影响我们做决定的原因
explains why they affect our decision making.
例如 尤其是在谈判某件事时
Fear and anger have been shown in particular to make people
恐惧和愤怒会让人的表现变得更差
worse at negotiating for something, for example.
2014年的一项研究显示
And a 2014 study that showed
在一次试验中 恼人的负面反馈
upsetting negative feedback on a test
让人们在随后的逻辑问题上表现更糟糕
made people do worse on subsequent logic problems.
虽然我们将所谓的“情绪”视为让我们
But while we think of being quote-unquote “emotional”
做出错误的决定或不理性地思考的东西
as something that makes us make bad choicesor think irrationally,
实际上 情绪能帮我们作出判断和决定
emotions can actually help us with judgmentand decision making.
以“埃利奥特”为例 他经历了一次
Take the case of “Elliot” , a man who underwent surgery
从自己大脑额叶切除脑瘤的外科手术
to remove a brain tumor from his frontal lobe.
虽然大脑似乎完全正常了 但生活彻底改变了
While his brain seemed totally normal afterwards, his life completely changed.
他被解雇了 而且做出了很多糟糕的财务决定
He got fired, he made a bunch of terriblefinancial decisions,
他离婚了 然后再婚 之后又离了
and he got divorced and then remarried andthen divorced again.
研究他的神经学家得出的结论是
The conclusion that the neuroscientist studying him came to was that
手术破坏了其大脑皮质和额叶间的相互作用
his surgery had disrupted interactions between his amygdala and his frontal lobe.
虽然智力未受损 但却不能真切地体会情绪了
His intelligence was still intact, but he wasn’t really able to feel emotions.
这使他彻底不能做决定了
And that made him completely incapable ofmaking decisions.
因为他不知道他的选择会让自己以后有什么感觉
Since he couldn’t tell how his choices would make him feel later on,
也不知道不同的选择会赋予什么价值
he couldn’t assign value to different options,
所以他不断地思考每一件小事
so he endlessly deliberated every little thing.
对赌徒的研究也发现
Studies in gamblers have also found
情绪有助于他们做出正确的决定
that emotions helped them avoid making bad decisions.
错误和失败令人感觉糟糕 他们也不想再有这种感觉了
Mistakes and failures feel lousy and the gamblers don’t want to feel that way again,
所以他们学会了去下更好的赌注
so they learn to make better bets.
事实上情绪能帮你做出更好的决定
And the idea that emotions can actually help you make better decisions
此观点在进化上很有意义
makes a lot of evolutionary sense.
消极的情绪教你什么不该做
Negative emotions teach you what not to do,
比如 身体疼痛教会你不要把手放在热炉上
kind of like how physical pain teaches you not to put your hand on a hot stove.
同时 情绪能以有益的方式促进其他认知过程的形成
And emotions shape other cognitive processes in helpful ways, too.
它们不仅优化我们关注的感官信息
They optimize which sensory information we pay attention to,
还能引导我们进行社会互动
guide our social interactions,
还能帮助我们记住最重要的事
and help us to remember the things that are most important.
但这一切并不代表你根本不能控制你的情感
But all of this isn’t to say that you don’t have control over your emotions at all.
情绪调节是一种经过仔细研究的过程
Emotional regulation is a well-studied process,
你可以从不同的角度介入情绪 让情绪稳定
and there are various points at which you can step in and tell your emotions to sit down.
是的 你能改变自己的感觉和它的强烈程度
So yes, you can change how you feel, how intense that feeling is,
以及持续的时间
and how long it lasts.
但……不是每个人都擅长这个
But… not everyone is super great at that.
2015年 有一项针对176人的研究发现
A 2015 study of 176 people actually found differences
“感性”人群和更多“理性”人群的大脑间存在差异
between the brains of “emotional” peopleand more “rational” ones.
“感性”人群看伤感电影时大都会哭 看恐怖电影时害怕
“Emotional” people that tend to cry a lot at sad movies or freak out during scary ones,
而且在情绪同理心测试分数更高
score higher on emotional empathy measures,
这基本上意味着他们倾向于体会别人的感觉
which basically mean they tend to actuallyfeel what others feel.
而且研究人员发现 情绪同理心分数更高的人
And the researchers found that people withhigher emotional empathy scores
大脑皮层脑岛上的灰质密度更大
tended to have more gray matter density inthe insula — a part of the cerebral cortex.
虽然还不太清楚是灰质密度变大使它们更情绪化
While it’s unclear whether that made themmore emotional
还是情绪化改变了它们的大脑
or whether being more emotional changed their brains…
但它确实巩固了我们在体会和处理情绪方式上
It does really solidify the idea that thereare individual differences
存在个人差异的观点
in how we feel and deal with emotions.
总之 研究发现 与年轻人相比 老年人能更好地
And in general, studies have found older people control their feelings
控制自己的情绪 可能因为熟能生巧吧
better than younger ones, perhaps because practice makes perfect.
但好消息是
But the good news is,
相比于你想成为的样子 如果你有时比自己想的更感性
if you’re sometimes more emotional than you’d like to be,
可以做一些事情可以控制你的情绪
there are things you can do both to control your emotions
也可以一劳永逸地利用情绪
and to use your emotional powers for good.
比如 你试图控制情感的时机特别重要
For one, the timing of when you try to control an emotion is super important.
所以 当有情绪时
So rather than trying to suppress an emotion,
不要试图压抑它
once you’re already in the midst of it,
在情绪形成时 重塑你对一种环境的看法
it’s much more effective to reframe the way you’re thinking about a situation
反而更有效
while an emotion is forming.
这听起来很古怪
And this sounds weird,
但……以第三人称的方式对自己说话能让我们有
but … talking to ourselves in the third person can give us
足够的距离来多角度地思考问题
enough distance to think about things differently.
那么汉克 下次你想扭转局面时 记得要用上面的方法
So Hank, you should remember that next time you want to dial things back.
同样 重新审视挫折也很重要
And, framing matters too.
寻找一线希望 或至少把这种情况
Corny as it sounds, looking for the silver lining,
视为一次挑战来克服 而不是一种情绪打击
or at least seeing the situation as a challenge to overcome
这听起来虽然很老套 但能帮你迅速恢复状态
rather than an emotional blow, can help youbounce back faster.
但最终 体会那些情绪并不是件坏事
But ultimately, it’s not always a bad thing to feel those feels.
然而有些情绪很糟糕 但它们很重要
While some feelings, suck, they’re kind of important.
倾听你的情绪 而不是与之对抗 它能帮你确定
Listening to your feelings instead of fighting them
到底什么是错的 这样你才有机会改变它
can help you identify what’s really wrong, so you have a chance to change it.
因为情绪不是逻辑思维的死敌
Because emotions are not the mortal enemyof logical thought.
他们只是试图帮助……但只是有时做的多了点
They’re just trying to help … sometimes they just do it a little too much.
感谢观看本集《心理科学秀》
Thanks for watching this episode of SciShow Psych,
此外 如果你想更好的理解你的情绪
and if you want to better understand your emotions,
也许会喜欢我们那集《情绪到底是什么》
you might like our episode on what emotions actually are.
[片尾]
[OUTRO ♪]

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视频概述

情感和理性,你如何选择?我们教你怎样熬过心碎,让一颗破碎的心慢慢愈合吧!

听录译者

收集自网络

翻译译者

Amy

审核员

审核员YZ

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MVc6jgQJefo

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