我是阿尔法M 时尚 穿搭 健康
只有我 还是你也会感到紧张
Is it just me or do you get nervous?
我们会有些下意识性的紧张
So that would be a little bit of conscious,
无论何时走进一个满是陌生人的房间
anytime you walk into a room of people you don’t know.
我想不只是我
I know it’s not just me
因为这种情况下我们都会紧张
because it happens to all of us.
紧张和焦虑都很正常
And butterflies and anxiety are totally normal
每次你要站起来做展示
anytime you’ve gotta stand up and give a presentation
或者演讲的时候 都要面对很多人
or speech in front of a group of people.
但是社交焦虑是对外出
But social anxiety were having a phobia about going out
交流和会见陌生的人的恐惧
interacting and meeting new people.
这是完全不一样的东西
This is something totally different.
它们间相似的仅是焦虑和感到一点难为情
This goes pairs just butterflies and feeling a little bit of self-concious.
而社交焦虑是一种完全的
This is an absolute fear
让你感到尴尬或被他人尖锐评价的恐惧
of embarrasing yourself or being judged harshly by others.
这种恐惧焦虑 社交焦虑是如此强烈
This fear anxiety, social anxiety is so strong
以至于阻碍了你想去某个地方并做点儿事
that it actually prevents you from going places and doing things
因为你知道 当你到那儿的时候会有多难受
because you know how uncomfortable you’re gonna be when you get there.
这就是社交焦虑
It’s social anxiety.
它一定限制了你的幸福
And the social anxiety is absolutely limiting your happiness
和你外出社交的能力
and your ability to go out and socialize.
你错过了美妙的时刻以及美好的人
You’re missing out on great times and good people!
所以我可以说 社交焦虑是这种恐惧
So I can mention that social anxiety is this fear,
这种毫无来由的 你会让自己尴尬的恐惧
this unrationally fear that you’re going to embrass yourself
或者你会被人反复审视着的恐惧
or you are going to be scrutinized so intensly.
这是不能忍受的 是吧
That is unbearable, alright?
在你理性的思维中 你清楚人们真的不会
And you know in your rational mind, you know that people really aren’t
像你想的或者感觉的那样对你那么苛刻
being as harsh as you think they or feel that they are about you.
但是你就是控制不住
But you cant’t help it!
一般来说 社交焦虑的触发事件是 见陌生人
Common social anxiety triggers are things like meeting new people,
成为焦点人物
being the center of attention,
闲聊 演讲 在课堂上被提问
making small talk, public speaking, being caught out in class.
但也会在公共场所吃饭
But it can also be triggered by things like eating in public
外出约会 甚至使用公共厕所等事件上被触发
or going out on a date or even using a public restroom.
没人喜欢上公共卫生间
Nobody likes using a public restroom,
难道这意味着你有社交焦虑吗？
does this mean you have social anxiety? Alright?
你感到紧张的是 在众人面前站起来
You’re getting nervous when you get up in front of audience,
参加聚会 但周围都是陌生人
you go to a party and you’re around people you don’t know.
这意味着你有社交焦虑吗？
Does this mean that you have social anxiety?
当然不是！
No!
社交焦虑要更严重 就像我们说到的
Alright? Social anxiety is much more intense, like we talked about
紧张 在新环境中感到不自在 相当正常
nervousness, in being a little uneasy in new situations, perfectly normal.
但是如果这种焦虑影响了你的日常生活
But if these anxieties prevent you from doing things
那么这就是你需要解决的事情了
then there is something that needs to be done about it.
一些预兆表明 你可能经历了
Some warning signs that you may be experiencing
某种程度上的社交焦虑
some degree of social anxiety.
因为社交焦虑程度不同
because here’s the thing they’re varying degrees.
一些人的程度轻点
Some people have mildly,
另一些人很严重
other people have it pretty substantially.
但是如果对日常事物感到紧张和焦虑
But if you stress out and are anxious about doing everyday things,
你可能有轻微的社交焦虑
you may have a little bit of social anxiety.
如果你成年累月的极其担心着某件事
If you worry intensely for days, weeks, months, leading up to a specific event
那么你可能有一定程度的社交焦虑了
then you may experience some social anxiety.
如果你感觉自己一直被审视
If you feel like you are constantly being judged
或者担心其他人总把你说的一无是处
or you worry that other people are picking you apart all the time,
你可能正处在社交焦虑之中
you may be experiencing some social anxiety.
这里也有一些行为方面的临床症状
There are some behavioural symptoms as well
就像你被邀请到了某个地方去聚会…
like when you get invited to someplace to use room…
但你决定不去 尽管没有其他要去做的事
Just decide now I’m not going to go even though you got nothing else to do,
或者你不情愿去 需要带个朋友和你一起
or do you feel compelled or the need to bring a friend with you,
或者你是那种站在不显眼的地方
or you the type of person that stands in the background
不去谈论或者说及任何事情
off trying not to talk or say anything
只要“别管我 我待这儿就好”
just “don’t mind me, I’m just here”,
或者你在去之前会喝酒壮胆
or do you drink prior to going.
若你有上述的任一项行为 或者这就是你常做的事儿
If you said yes to any one of those things or you do it consistently
那么你可能有某种程度上的社交焦虑了
and chances are you do have a degree of social anxiety.
现在我们来谈一谈怎么来确定这事儿
So now, let’s talk about how to get it in check.
第一点是挑战你的消极思想
Tip number one is challenge your own negative thoughts
因为那是会发生在
because that’s one of the things
人们经历社交焦虑时的事情之一
when people have an experience social anxiety,
他们让所有的这种消极思想占据了他们的脑海
they got all these negative thoughts going on in their head, right?
你不会变得足够好
You’re not going to be good enough,
你会把这一切搞砸 没人喜欢你
you’re going to screw this up, you might not be liked.
质疑它 不要只是接受它 好吗？
Challenge it, don’t just accept it, alright?
好吧 为什么人们不喜欢我呢？
Well, why don’t people like me?
什么都想不出来
Can’t come up with anything.
或者可能我会说一些蠢话
Or maybe I’ll say something stupid.
好吧 你能说点啥过分的呢 或者我没什可说的
Well, what will you say? Or maybe I won’t have anything to say
然后人们会觉得我无聊
and people are gonna think I’m boring.
为什么你没有话说 提前想想呀！
Well, why won’t you have anything to say? Think something in before!
挑战消极情绪 不要让它们支配着你
Challenge the negative thoughts, don’t just let them just play
因为一旦它们继续下去 天呐 事情要失控
cause when they go unchecked. Jett! Things get out of hand
然后你就会开始相信它们了 对吧
and you start to believe them, alright?
质疑它们 好吗 它们是消极观点
Challenge them, alright? They’re negative ideas,
它们是消极想法
they’re negative thoughts.
但是你也不必什么都质疑
But you don’t have to let them rule you.
第二点是学会调整…
Tip number two is learn to control…
你的呼吸
your breathing.
用鼻子吸气 用嘴呼气 好吗？
In through the nose out through the mouth, all right?
因为当我们变得紧张时 呼吸是急促的
Because when we get nervous, it’s short little breaths
这些急促的呼吸 是吧 让我们变得
and these short little breaths, alright? They cause us to be more anxious
比实际上或者所需要的更焦虑
than we actually may be or need to be, alright?
通过实践 练习并接受些放松的方法
By practicing learning and adopting some relaxation techniques
或是一些呼吸的锻炼让我们放轻松
or some deep breathing exercises and just chill…
放慢你的步伐 让你自己成为中心
Slow your row, just center yourself.
［呼吸］
[breathing]
平静下来 好吗 你会或者让自己放松下来
Calm down, all right? You’re going or see yourself relaxing.
你会感觉好一些 它会变得更简单
You’re going to feel a bit better it’s going to be easier.
第三点是直面你的恐惧 好吗
Tip number three is face your fear, alright?
如果你害…
If you are sc…
如果你是那种从不外出的人
If you’re the person that is never going out
因为你害怕真正的接触 和人见面 说话
because you’re scared to actually interact, meet people, talk to people,
好吧 如果你只是在逃避这些情况
alright? if you just are avoiding these situations,
你得学会去愿意变得不舒服 好吗
you gotta to be willing to be uncomfortable, all right?
你必须去 不！现在就去
You’ve got to go, no! Just right now!
你会感到不舒服 事情会变得尴尬
You are going to be uncomfortable. It’s going to be awkward.
你会感觉想要逃走
You’re gonna feel like running away.
但是你得去面对这种恐惧
But you’ve gotta face the fear.
如果你不去做 你永远不可能变得更好
If you never do, you’re never gonna get better.
你得去做 好吗？你会去做的
You’re gonna to go, alright? You’re gonna to go.
你会出去溜达一下 出去和人交流 对吧
You’re gonna to hang out. You’re gonna to talk to somebody, alright?
可能你只待十几二十分钟
Maybe you only stay for ten minutes, twenty minutes,
但是你去做了 这是最重要的事儿 下一次坚持的更久些
but you went, that’s the big thing. Next time you go a little longer.
你已经面对了自己的恐惧
You’ve got to face your fear.
随着时间流逝 你会知道 你可以做到的
What you’re going to learn over time is that you can do it.
然后没有什么坏事儿会发生
Then nothing bad is gonna happen
人们不会关注你 私下里议论或谈论你
that people aren’t looking and whispering and talking about you.
你完全可以的
It’s OK.
直面你的恐惧 如果那行不通的话
Face your fear and if that doesn’t work,
好吧 你可能会想试一试第四点
alright? then you may want to try number four
那就是去和医生讲一讲
which is talk to a therapist.
去寻求医生的帮助 因为医生就在那儿
Go seek professional help because it’s out there.
很多时候 作为个体我们有很艰难的时候
A lot of times we as individuals have a very tough time
关键是当问题出现时 去解决它
basically working things out when it has to do with us.
我们能给他人提很好的建议 是吧
We can give great advice to other people, alright?
但是当提到能够有效地 有效地 有效地 有效地 两次了 哈哈
But when it comes to actively and actively actively and actively twice, hah hah…
有效地帮助我们自己 或者能解决盘桓在我们脑海里的
actively helping ourselves or being able to work the things out in our brain
需要解决的问题时 有时我们就是做不到
that we need to. Sometimes we just can’t do it.
因此一个很棒的主意实际上是
And so a great idea is to actually
去寻找心理咨询 找医生是个好办法 是吧
go and seek counseling. Therapists are a wonderful tool, all right?
他们… 他们没有偏见
They are… there they’re unbiased.
他们会并且他们唯一的任务就是帮助你
They’re going to and their only job is to help
解决这些你有的无法接触外界和社交问题
you get over the issues that you’re having with going out and being social.
当这些方法都失败后
And when all that fails,
总是会有第五种方法的 那就是药物治疗
there’s always number five which is medication.
有些很好的药物治疗的方法
There are some great medications out there
来帮助你脱离边缘化
to help you take the edge off.
呃… 让你恢复常态 好吧？
Umm…Get you situated, alright?
你不需要感觉恐惧
You don’t need to feel like this.
你不是有意要成这个样子的
You’re not meant to feel like this.
你是美丽的 独特的
You are beautiful, special,
你值得拥有美好的人际关系
and you deserve to have wonderful interpersonal relationships.
你享… 你应该享受你的人生 出去走一走
You enj…You should be enjoying your life, going out,
看点儿什么 做些什么
seeing things, doing things,
但如果社交焦虑控制住了你
but if your social anxiety is getting the best of you
让你有比快乐多的多的恐惧
and causing you to have more fear than fun,
先生们 这就是你们该采取行动的时候了 我知道你能做到的
gentlemen, it’s time to take action. I know you can do it.
这很难 但是如果你踏出了第一步
It’s tough but if you take the first step,
我确定你会对自己应对社交焦虑的方式印象深刻的
I’m sure you’re going to be impressed with the way that you respond.