If I had to count how many people
I’ve crushed on throughout my 25 years,
I think I’d run out of hands
before I reached my high school years.
I wasn’t necessarily boy crazy
but it didn’t always take a lot for me
to start developing feelings.
A kind gesture or a zany personality was
sometimes enough to get my heart fluttering.
When I was in my preteen and early teenage years,
I had a thing for funny boys.
Maybe it’s because during that time in my life,
I was easily bogged down by the realities
of keeping up with school
that I left little to no time
to address my true feelings of frustration and loss.
I always felt like I had to mature fast and
the only three things that made me feel young
were Disney Channel, pop music and the boys I crushed on.
In elementary and middle school,
I developed feelings for the class clowns.
I admired their natural ability to charm people
with their easygoing funny remarks.
It didn’t matter how bad my day was going,
the minute we’d step into class, I’d forget
all about my troubles.
In eighth grade, I developed the biggest crush on…
Let’s call him Stanley.
Stanley moved to my school,
so he was the new student.
He also happened to ride on the same school bus.
At first, I didn’t think much of him.
I remember feeling slightly annoyed actually.
My bus held a lot of students already,
so when he and his brother joined us too, I knew
I was doomed to sit on the edge
of my seat for the rest of the year.
On his first day riding the bus to attend my school,
I decided to sit next to him and
this other boy in my grade.
He was quiet and we didn’t talk at all.
Over time though, he became a riot.
然而 随着时间的推移 他变成了一个调皮蛋
One day he got up and started singing on the bus.
The bus driver was mad and told him to sit down.
Eventually he did but that didn’t stop him
from having a good time the rest of the ride.
He was a bass player and had strong aspirations
to be in a band which is actually
what he’s doing nowadays, living the dream, right?
那正是他现在在做的事 活成理想的样子 对吧
I never really interacted much with him though,
I liked him from afar. Yeah, creepy, right?
But hey, no shame in that,
we all have stories like that.
He was highly unpredictable
and I guess with my uneventful life at the time,
it was easy for me to develop feelings for him.
Energetic, passionate and adventurous,
他精力充沛 热情奔放 热爱冒险
he didn’t care so much about school but knew
how to live life to the fullest.
In a lot of ways,
he taught me a lot just from my observations.
When you want something,
even if it’s different from the usual norms,
you should go for it
without feeling apologetic about it.
Teachers would often get frustrated
with his rambunctious behavior
but underneath his wild exterior was a kind heart.
Like I said earlier,
my bus was always jam-packed with kids,
so I started getting into the habit of sitting
next to this boy who always sat alone.
I guess he was super greedy about his space
while everyone else suffered sitting sometimes
three people to a seat.
So he expressed his annoyance with me;
“it’s the third time this week
you’ve asked me to move over”, he scowled.
he scowled. Stanley, sitting behind us saw the
whole thing happen and stood up for me;
” no one wants to sit next to you anyway”, he said.
I never did say thank you for that moment,
I was too shy at the time.
Inspired by his bold character that one day,
I finally mustered the courage to tell him
how I felt.
I did it on eighth grade graduation day actually,
To all my Myspacers, remember those days?
I felt so cheesy but I messaged him,
keeping things short and simple.
Even though my mind’s racing thoughts
couldn’t have been more than the opposite.
He was nice about it but timing didn’t work in my favor.
He typed back,” thank you for telling me,
you seem really cool but unfortunately, I’m
moving this summer”.
I was crushed.
All that time developing quiet secret feelings for him,
I could have talked to him more and
I felt so stupid for realizing that too late,
we could have been friends or maybe we could
have grown to become enemies, who knows.
The funny thing is, when I was a lot younger,
I wasn’t so self-conscious.
If I liked someone,
I usually let them know but man,
我通常会让他们知道 但是 伙计
middle school years were rough on me.
This moment always reminds me to take risks
because without taking scary leaps, I wouldn’t
have met my current boyfriend.
Rejections are part of being honest and forward.
Timing might sometimes be off
but the important thing is to persevere.
You never know who you’re going to meet
or where you’re going to meet them, whether it’s
through school, a mutual friend or OKCupid.
Do yourself a favor and start
recognizing things will get messy but that should never
be an excuse to not try.
You’ll thank yourself in the long run when you look back.
When was the last time you confessed to
your crush and how did it turn out?
Let us know in the comments section below.
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