ADM-201 dump PMP dumps pdf SSCP exam materials CBAP exam sample questions

怎样去抱怨 – 译学馆
未登录,请登录后再发表信息
最新评论 (0)
播放视频

怎样去抱怨

How to Complain

几乎每天
Almost everyday
我们都会不可避免地感到有些沮丧
with slightly dispiriting inevitability,
身边的某人会以某种方式伤害我们
someone in our vicinity will hurt us in some way.
可能是朋友
It could be a friend,
同事
a colleague,
一个小孩子 最有可能是
a child or, most likely,
我们的伴侣
a partner.
他们会忽视对我们造成很大的影响的一些事情
They’ll be neglectful of something that matters immensely to us.
他们或多或少会表现出
They’ll be, to a greater or lesser extent,
不友善 冷漠 惹人烦或者粗鲁
unkind, thoughtless, offensive or brusque.
我们可能完全忽视了自己对待这些事情的
We may never have given much thought to observing the way
典型表现
we characteristically respond.
然而 我们对待他人的暴力行为的方式
And yet, our style of reacting to maltreatment
恰恰反映了我们真正的自己
goes right to the heart of who we are
并且决定了你将会过哪种生活:
and can make the difference between:
一种是充满沮丧和苦涩的生活
A life of constant frustration and bitterness
一种是算得上和谐的生活
and one of tolerable coexistence.
在生活的艺术中很重要的一点
A crucial part of the art of living
似乎就在于知道怎么
seems to lie in knowing how to
理智地 有建设性地向那些冒犯了我们的人抱怨
complain constructively and sanely to those who do us wrong.
总的来说 人们主要有三种抱怨的方式:
There are broadly 3 main ways in which one might complain.
第一种十分的狂躁
The first is live fury.
我们情绪爆发 高声呼喊 互相挖苦 试图碾压对方
Here, we explode, shout, insult, belittle and attempted to crush our opponent.
而我们做出这样的反应是因为我们感到极其的心烦意乱
What lies behind this response is it hard panic and agitation
感觉遭到了毁灭性的打击和背叛
and a catastrophic feeling of hurt and betrayal.
我们脆弱的自尊心受到了深深地伤害
The slights to our dignity cuts us so deep,
让我们不得安宁
unsettled us so much,
我们试图通过大吼大叫来摆脱羞辱
we attempt to ROAR our way out of humiliation.
我们的声音可能很大
Our bark may be loud but it
但它源自于极度的脆弱
comes from a place of extreme vulnerability.
在生活中 我们都没有心灵的外衣
We’re living without a psychological skin.
是的 不幸的是
Unfortunately, of course,
暴躁地生活从来只会 保证让你的抱怨被拒之门外
live fury is guaranteed to prevent our complaint from ever being heard.
面对我们的咆哮
In the face of our ranting,
那些冒犯我们的人 同样也被冒犯了
those who’ve offended us, will themselves get offended,
开始埋怨我们
begin to resent us,
拒绝听我们说话 并且指责我们做过的很多事情
refuse to listen and accuse us of a raft of things,
这样完全盖过了我们一开始对她们的抱怨
which entirely bury our original complaint against them.
我们没有达到任何目的
We achieve nothing.
这是第二种方式:
There is a second option:
冷暴力
Cold fury.
在这种情景中 你很少表达
Here one says very little but
却暗自感到深深地厌恶
hates very deeply and quietly.
我们感到绝望 却又不敢直接抱怨
We don’t dare to complain directly from a despair
其他人是不会理解的
that the other would ever understand.
没有人会听我抱怨的 这种情绪刺激着我们
Fuelled with a feeling that we don’t deserve ever to be listened to.
一种原始的自怨自艾的情绪将我们包围
A primitive self-hatred encases us in
我们愤世嫉俗 我们伤春悲秋
cynicism and melancholy.
我们习惯了退缩
We become experts at withdrawal.
也许在我们小的时候 就已经这样了
We’ve probably been like this from a young age.
在我们成长环境中成年人
The adults we grew up around were probably
太易怒 太忙碌 太专横 对我们言缺乏足够的倾听
too touchy, busy, domineering or absent to give us much of a hearing.
于是我们学会隐藏自己的痛苦 而内心却翻江倒海
So we learn to swallow our pain and while seething inside,
对那些恶冒犯过我们的 让我们厌恶的人 假装出友善的样子 掩饰我们的愤怒
act with brittle courtesy and veiled aggression against those hated characters who’ve done us wrong.
这对我们几乎没有帮助
Then comes that far rarer achievement:
成熟理性地抱怨
Mature complaint.
为了克服这些事情
In order to master such a feat,
我们必须心里暗示
we must work with a background sense that
告诉我们自己 我们本就不应该被忽视
we don’t fundamentally deserve meanness
而且它也不可能将我们毁灭
and also that it won’t on its own ever be able to destroy us.
我们内心平静 因为我们足够爱自己
We are calm because we like ourselves well enough,
爱那些爱我们的人悉心照料的留给我们的东西 我们拒绝忍受
a legacy of being cared for by people who liked us and refuse to endure
默默忍受虐待以及自讨苦吃的忍耐
punishment quietly or with masochistic patience.
我们有信心
We have the confidence not to
不会因为别人的无理而陷入混乱之中
be thrown into complete disarray by insult.
我们会探索恢复的方法
We can seek restitution and
并且能够在事情发生是很快地进行自我修复
tend to do so fairly fast while the incident
即使这件事在我们的脑海了还十分清晰
is still fresh in everyone’s mind
但是只要有方法 有策略 平静地处理
but with a measured, strategic, calm manner
当你保证自己说话的权利的时候
of people secure in their right to have their say.
我们应该小心 不要辱骂
We’re careful not to insult or
或者挖苦对方
belittle our opponents.
我们只需要简单地说:我感觉到
We always simply say: How we feel.
而不是宣称:你是恶意报复,你做……实在是太自私了
Rather than declaring: You’re vindictive and selfish for doing X;
我们说:(你以这样的方式做……)我感觉很受伤
We say: I feel hurt 🙁 by the way you do X.
这样就不容易让对方感到被冒犯
We don’t give others easy excuses to get
因而也不会让他们拒接听我们说话
insulted and block their ears in turn.
我们并不是想把事情简单化
We don’t want to make it that simple for them.
我们从来都不认为
Nevertheless we don’t have
人们总是能够
unlimited faith that people are always
理解并且接受
going to understand and accept what
我们尝试告诉他们的事情
we’re trying to tell them,
但是不管如何 我们都想说出来
yet we want to speak out anyway.
因为我们知道让这些抱怨烂在肚子里
Because we know it’s not good for us to swallow our
对我们并没有好处 我们可不想得"溃疡"
complaints and we don’t want ulcers.
我们必须立刻面对现实 抓住对话的机会 无论如何都要决定交流
We are at once realistic about the chances of dialogue and determine to talk in any case.
我们会被深深地同情
We deserve a huge amount of
因为我们不知道怎样
compassion for our failure to know how
聪明地抱怨
to complain wisely.
我们不能做到理智地抱怨 映射了我们的过去 也映射出
Our inability is a snapshot into our past and into some
那些很久以前就发生了 但依然极其活跃的烦心事
properly troublesome dynamics that occurred long ago.
但是 通过在脑海构思理想的抱怨的方式
But by sketching the ideal style of complaining,
我们可以猜想什么是我们本来就缺乏的
we can start to imagine what we’re not natively capable of
并通过推演和沉思来弥补
and to fill in through reason and reflection
还没能获得的能力
what we haven’t been able to achieve
我们可以培养 可以通过爱来完善
through upbringing and love.
我们可以迈出我们坎坷的第一步
We can take our first stumbling steps on the path
走上理智的抱怨之路
to mature compliant.
再见
you

发表评论

译制信息
视频概述

原来抱怨也是有学问的,你抱怨的方式够成熟,够理性吗?让我们一起踏上成熟的抱怨之路吧

听录译者

收集自网络

翻译译者

哟嚯嚯~,哦嚯嚯嚯

审核员

【MR】Metro

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qVvxjGPq8BY

相关推荐