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改变看待自己的方式

How to Change the Way You See Yourself | Rock Thomas | Goalcast

– I had to feed 22 horses every morning
我每天得喂完22匹马
before I earned the right to have breakfast.
才有权吃早饭
Imagine an 8.5-year-old kid
想象一下 在加拿大的临晨
getting up in the dark in Canada
八岁半的我摸黑起床
and going outside and opening the barn door,
一个人出去开谷仓门
and I remember, there would be like 30 rats
每次打开谷仓
every time I opened the barn door,
都会有30多只老鼠
and they would scurry around,
四处乱跑
and I would hope that none of them would stay around.
我总希望他们不再出现
And one time I went back to the house and I said,
有一次我出门后又返回家 对父亲说
“Dad, can you come with me?”
“爸爸 能陪我一起过去吗?”
And he locked the door and he says,
他竟锁上了门 对我说
“Go out and do your chores.
出去干你的活去
And don’t come back until they’re done.”
不做完就别回来
It was kinda the beginning of me realizing that
从那时起 我开始意识到
I wasn’t in a supportive environment.
没有人支持我
And I learned one thing, and one thing only,
那些经历只教会我一件事
is that if I was willing to work hard,
只有努力工作
then I could get my dad’s attention.
才能得到爸爸的关注
I remember waking up,
记得在我十三四岁时
I was about 13 or 14 years old,
有一天我起床时特开心
and this was the day my dad had
因为爸爸答应我他那天
promised me it was gonna be yes.
会满足我的要求
This was the day we were gonna play together.
和我一起玩
We were gonna throw the football back and forth,
我们会玩抛接橄榄球
and I was super excited.
我超级兴奋
I popped out of my bed
从床上跳起来
and I ran down the stairs,
飞奔下楼
and I saw my father where he always is.
看到我爸还在他每天待的那个地方
His ankle is chained to the desk.
忙着干活
But as I got closer, I knew something was wrong.
可走近他时 我便觉得不对劲
It was like I could feel
我能感觉出
there was a heaviness in the air
气氛变得凝重
and I started to get nervous.
我开始紧张起来
And I went,”Dad?”
我对他说 “爸爸?”
And he went,”Yes?”
他说 “干嘛?”
I went,”Uh, you ready to go play?”
我问 “呃 你准备好出去玩了吗?”
And the weirdest thing happened is he turned,
这时 奇怪的事发生了
he looked at me,
他转过来 看着我
and I felt myself shrinking down.
我感觉自己蜷缩起来了
And he stood up, and this shadow cast over me,
他站起来 他的影子笼罩着我
and he goes, “Do you have any idea what it takes to put food on the table?
他说 “你知道 要养家糊口有多难吗?
Do you think that this roof just puts itself there?
你觉得房顶是凭空出现的吗?
Money doesn’t grow on trees, you know?
钱不是树上长的 你知道吗?
One day you’re gonna have to work hard for money.
总有一天你也要卖命赚钱
Now, get out and play on your own
在我赶你干活之前
before I put you to work.”
滚出去自己玩去”
And I turned around and I walked out,
我转过身 走出了门
and I never asked him again to play, ever.
从此以后再没让他陪我玩过
I don’t have one memory of playing with my dad,
我没有任何和爸爸一起玩耍的回忆
not one.
一次都没有
The only way I connected with him
我和他交流的唯一方式
was when he was working around the house doing chore,
是他在家附近做家务时
I’d say, “Dad, can I help you?”
问他 “爸爸 需要我做什么?”
I’d hand him the nails,
他便会让我给他递钉子
or I’d hold the measuring’s tape.
或者帮他举卷尺
It was the only way.
这是唯一的方式
He never once, he never came to my hockey games.
他从没参加过我的曲棍球比赛
He dropped me off in the car and stayed in the car.
他把我送到地方 就待在车里
All the other parents were tying the skates,
其他家长都在帮孩子系冰鞋
I was there alone.
只有我是孤零零一人
I would try to score as many goals as I could
我尽我所能多进几个球
so I could go and then tell him I scored the winning goals.
这样我就能告诉他 我得到了制胜分
so he’d want and come look, but he never did.
那他也许会想来看看 可并没有
I remember winning honors in school
记得我在学校里
for academic achievement,
因获得好成绩受到表彰时
looking out in the crowd
当我看向人群
hoping to see my dad,
希望能看到我爸
but he was never there.
可他从未出现
So the only solace I had was to work hard.
我只能通过努力工作获得慰藉
So, I doubled down on that. And I worked hard.
于是我更加努力
And, I’d call him out to look at the task being done
然后让他出来看看我的成果
and invariably, it was never good enough.
结果却是他总不满意
So, I doubled down again and work harder.
于是我会再加把劲 更努力
It didn’t feel good at the time.
当时的感觉并不好
But, in life if you do what is easy,
但人生就是这样 如果开始很轻松
life will be difficult.
人生的后半段将会很艰难
But, if you do what is difficult, life will be easy.
但如果你肯下苦功 生活将会变得轻松
I got the difficult part out front.
我是先把苦日子熬过去了
And I got really good at it.
而且还过得不错
By the time I was 14,
在14岁时
I saved up enough money to get a scooter.
自己攒够了买一辆滑板车的钱
By the time I was 16 I had my first car.
16岁时 便买了第一辆车
By the time I was 17, I thought; you know what?
到了17岁时 我心说
I’m outta here, this sucks.
我要离开这糟透顶一切
I mean, I could go out and make four times
我可以出去自食其力了
the amount of money living on my own.
赚的钱是之前的四倍
Even if I have to pay rent, I don’t care.
就算要自己租房子 我也不在乎
So, I moved out, I drove a taxi.
于是我就搬出去了 我开过出租车
I did carpentry, I cut lawns, I washed windows,
做过木工 帮别人修理草坪 清洗窗户
I did anything that was hard work.
什么苦活累活都做过
Because that’s all I knew.
因为我就只会做这些工作
Then, my life changed.
然后我的人生发生了变化
I got a call from my stepmom and she said,
我接到了继母打来的电话 她说
“Your dad has cancer.”
“你爸爸得了癌症”
I jumped on a plane and I did everything I could.
我立马飞过去 给他们帮忙
I took care of the house.
照顾家里的一切
He said to me he had some back taxes
他说他加拿大的
from Canada that were unpaid.
退缴税还没缴
I said, “Yes, I’ll pay them for you”.
我说 “别担心 我替你缴”
I did everything I possibly could.
我做了我所能做了一切
I remember the day I had to leave to back
我清楚记得要离开他回去的那天
to take care of my family,
因为我有家人要照顾
I had a young son at the time.
当时有个小儿子
And I had nothing left.
我的钱也都花光了
And I asked my dad, he was probably about 98 pounds,
我问我爸爸 他当时可能只有98磅
Laying in the bed, and I said,
躺在床上 我问他
“Dad, can you think of a time
“爸爸 你能想到一件
when I made you proud?”
我让你感到骄傲的事吗?”
and I’m thinking to myself, my god,
我当时心想 天哪
there was a whole bunch.
有太多可说的了
I was almost a millionaire by that time.
我当时几乎是个百万富翁了
I had done so many things, I had risen up,
我成果累累 出人头地
I’d opened a restaurant, I’d learned a new language,
开了一家饭馆 学会了一门新语言
I’d done so many things.
我有这么多成就
This was gonna be the time that was gonna go, “Of course son, let me read from a list.”
他该说 “当然了 儿子 几天几夜都讲不完”了吧
But instead, he said,
可他却说
“Nothing that I can think of.”
“我想不出来”
And I don’t know if it broke my spirit,
我不知道是他的回答击垮了我
or if I thought I’d hit rock bottom, I hit another layer,
还是以为我倒霉到家了结果还有更倒霉的事
but when I got back home actually,
事实上等我回去
I was fired from my job,
我被炒了鱿鱼
my marriage had fallen apart,
妻子也离开了我
I had no money left, that I’d paid to support him,
我身无分文 钱都用来给我爸治病了
so got evicted from my apartment,
所以被赶出了公寓
and I moved back in with my mom at the age of 30.
都30岁了 又搬回去和妈妈住了
So, there I am, 30 years old
那时 我已是而立之年
working 16 hours a day for 20 years
一天工作16小时 持续了20年
and I have absolutely nothing to show for it,
却并没有什么值得炫耀的成就
except maybe a skill set on how to work hard.
只会努力工作罢了
But, I’ll tell you what, when you’re down there
但我要告诉你的是 当你坠入低谷
and think there’s nothing left,
觉得自己一无所有
it’s the foundation to grow from.
那却正是你的前行的基石
I thought, what am I gonna do now?
我想 现在该做什么呢?
And some little bird, mentioned real estate.
有小道消息说房地产行业发展不错
So, I thought I’d get into real estate.
于是我决定加入房地产业
I got into real estate and that’s when I
正是在那时
met my first mentor that transformed my life.
我遇到了改变我人生的第一位导师
I was in my office one night really late
有一天我在办公室工作到很晚
and I was having a conversation with my mentor.
和我的导师有了以下这段对话
And he walks in and he leans against the door,
他走进来 倚着门
and he goes, “You’re still here?”
对我说 “你还没走?”
and I said,”Yeah.”
我说 “是啊”
And he goes,”you really have a great work ethic.”
他说 “你真的很有职业精神”
And I went,”You talkin’ to me?”
我说 “你是在和我说话吗?”
He said,”Yeah, I’m talkin’ to you.”
他说 “没错 就是你”
He goes,”You’re awesome.”
他说 “你很棒”
I’m like,”Are you still talking to me?”
我说 “你还在和我说话吗?”
It’s like I never had anybody tell me
从来没有人跟我说过
that they believed in me.
他们信任我
My father certainly was always, “You could do better.
我爸当然总说 “还能更好
You could do better. You could do better.”
还能更好 还能更好”
Ya, it drove me, but it didn’t make me feel confident.
是 这能激励我 但无法让我获得自信
And I doubted it at first.
所以我不敢相信他的话
And we started to talk, and he goes,
然后我们一起聊天 他说
“Oh, so you’ve labeled yourself stupid, as a loser,
“哦 你给自己贴上了愚蠢的屌丝
and a skinny little kid.”
弱小的孩童的标签”
He goes,”How do you feel about that?”
他问 “你现在还这么想?”
and I said,”I still feel that way.”
我说 “我依然这么觉得”
He says,”You’re 30 years old.”
他说 “你都30岁了”
I go,”Yeah, I know. But,
我说 “是的 我知道啊 可是
I still felt that way inside.”
我在内心里仍然这么认为”
He says,”Okay, well, we’re gonna change that.
他说 “好吧 你得做出改变
Who’s an idol that you have?”
你的偶像是谁?”
I said,”Well, one of my favorite is Clint Eastwood.
我说 “最喜欢克林特·伊斯特伍德
He’s like, rugged.
他很 坚韧
‘I’m kind of rugged, I feel rugged’.”
‘我也是 我也很坚韧’”
He goes,”Perfect, how does that feel when you say that?”
他说 “很好 你这样说的时候什么感觉?”
I said,”It feels pretty good.”
我说 “感觉很好”
He goes,”That’s it!
他说 “就是这样!
I want you to say that a 1000 times.
我要你把那句话说1000次
A 1000 times everyday, or more if you want.
一天说1000次 甚至更多次
Loser out, ruggedly handsome in.
你并不失败 要让坚韧帅小伙住进你心里
So, now what we’re gonna do, is we’re gonna reprogram your brain.
现在我们要重编你的大脑程序
Your brain is like software, we’re just gonna reprogram it.”
大脑就像软件 你得把它重新编程”
– I said,”How do I do that?” – He goes,” Just every time you have a chance, just say, I’m
– “我要怎么做呢?” – “你一有机会 就对自己说 我坚韧帅气”
He said,”The words that follow I am, follow you,
他说“你可以定义自己的人生
you just didn’t know it.
只是之前你不知道罢了”
You had shitty programming. But,
你之前太低估自己了
now we’re gonna change that and change that forever.”
但你得改变自己的想法 永远改变它”
And I remember driving home, I was so excited.
我记得开车回家时自己有多激动
I was so excited because I could change my programming.
只要改变看待自己的方式 就能重写人生
I didn’t know it.
我之前根本不知道
I thought I was stuck that way my whole life.
还以为自己要在谷底呆一辈子
And all I had to do was have
而我要做的就只是全力改变
the energy to put into changing the way I see myself.
看待自己的方法
And it was so..
我真的太……
I just said it over and over, I was screaming in the car,
我就一遍遍的讲 甚至在车里喊了出来
“I’m ruggedly handsome, I’m ruggedly handsome,
“我坚韧帅气 我坚韧帅气
I’m ruggedly handsome.”
我坚韧帅气”
I’d get up in the morning,
我从早晨起床后
I’d say it over and over and over again.
就一遍又一遍的讲
I’d say it as much as I possibly could.
一有时间就讲
And then spontaneously, one morning, I was in the shower
后来 一天早上 我洗澡时开始对自己说
and I said,”I’m the greatest real estate agent in my area.
“我是这个区最棒的房地产商
I’m the greatest real estate agent in my area.”
我是这个区域最棒的房地产商”
I went from one sale in my first year to,
刚开始 我一年只能卖出一套房
in a few years, a 100 sales.
今年后 我一年能签100单
I broke every record there was and then I bought the fricken company.
我打破了所有记录 后来买下了那家公司
I went from farm boy to financially free.
我在农场长大 如今实现了经济自由
I became resourceful, I became capable of doing things
拥有了很多资源 有能力做
I didn’t know I was gonna do.
很多之前根本不敢想的事
The most powerful force in the human psyche
我们心里认知最强大的力量就是
is how we describe ourselves to ourself.
我们可以定义自己人生
Who’s giving you labels?
谁在给你贴标签?
You’re too short, you’re too tall, you’re quite, you’re introverted.
说你太矮 太高 太不合群 太内向
You take on those labels, and you wear them like they’re your persona. Then,
一旦你接受了 它们就会成为你的一部分
you live into them.
你就将成为那样的人
Like a role that you were given in life.
那就是你生活中的样子
You can rewrite that.
你是可以重新设定的
You can make it whatever you want.
想象自己想成为的样子
Insert it and then program it.
让他住进你的心里
I am, I am, you are what? Gifted,
我是 我是 你是什么样子的
guided, grateful, powerful, passionate, playful, sexy,
才华横溢 有领导力 感恩 强大 热情 幽默
sensual, sensitive, blessed, what are you?
性感迷人 善解人意 无忧无虑 是什么你来定义
Today is the first day of the rest of your life.
今天是你接下来人生的第一天
You get to redefine yourself, so who are you?
你可以重新定义你自己的 那么你是谁?
And who do you wanna be?
想成为怎样的人?
The words that follow I am, follow you.
你可以成为 你想成为的那个人
(intense music)
(激烈的音乐)

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视频概述

每个人都有权定义自己的人生,不要被别人给你的标签束缚,改变看待自己的方式,明天就是你接下来人生的第一天,你想成什么样的人?

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视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IH0digwjds

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