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如何建立自尊心 —《自尊的六大支柱》 – 译学馆
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如何建立自尊心 —《自尊的六大支柱》

HOW TO BUILD SELF ESTEEM - THE SIX PILLARS OF SELF-ESTEEM BY NATHANIEL BRANDEN ANIMATED BOOK REVIEW

想象一下有两种人
I want you to imagine two people.
第一种早上醒来 按部就班
The first man wakes up and does his usual routine before work,
这一切都很模糊
and it’s all a blur.
然后去工作 再回家的时候
He goes to work and when he comes home,
甚至没意识到今天都做了什么事
he isn’t even really conscious of what he did.
他在回家的路上吃零食
He starts eating the junk food he bought
到家后看电视
on his way home and watches TV while his wife
而且妻子想跟他谈谈
tries to talk to him.
再看另一种人
Now imagine another man.
他醒来后告诉妻子他对生活的感激
He wakes up and tells his wife how thankful he is for their life.
他开车去上班
He drives over to his business and is
工作热情 力求完美
passionately working to build it into something great.
然后回家
He comes home,
和妻子共进晚餐
and he and his wife have dinner together while they stay present to the moment
享受当下
with each other.
关于这两种人
Out of these two people,
你觉得哪种更具自尊心?
which one do you think is going to have higher self-esteem?
所以第一 练习有意识地生活
The first pillar is the practice of livingconsciously. Lately,
最近我头发变少了
my hair has been thinning.
但我并没有去比较
What I haven’t done is this:
“阿 为什么约翰的头发没有少?
“ Uh, how come John’s hair isn’t thinning?
为什么约翰的基因那么好?
How come John has better genetics?
我说了约翰身高一米九五吗?”
Oh and did I mention that John is also 6 foot 4?
好了
” Okay,
我为什么不去比较?
the reason I haven’t
这是因为这个游戏
done that is because, that’s
我根本比不赢
a game you can’t win.
我确定这一点
I promise you.
不管你是谁
I don’t care who you are,
就算约翰也赢不了这个游戏
even John can’t win that game.
我做的这些正是
What I have done is what anyone who
所有正在练习自尊的人所做的事
’ s practiced building self-esteem in their life would do,
也就是 改变你能改变的
and it is this: improve what you can change,
然后接受你不能改变的
and learn to accept what you can’t.
改变你能改变的
Improve what you can change,
然后接受你不能改变的
and learn to accept what you can’t.
再来聊一个常见的话题
Now let me address a common issue.
有些人认为改变自己和接受自己互相矛盾
There are people who think that self-acceptancesomehow goes against self-improvement.
其实不然
It doesn’t.
改变自己其实得先接受自己
In fact, self-improvement can only followself-acceptance.
如果我不能接受我头发变少的事实
If I didn’t accept that my hair was thinning,
我也不会开始研究
I wouldn’t start researching what the right
哪种发型更适合我
haircut needs to look like for me,
最后我可能看起来像博比·查尔顿
and I would end up looking like Bobby Charlton.
所以第二 练习自我接受
The second pillar is the practice of self-acceptance.
我认识很多身体不大好的人
I know a lot of people who are so physically unfit
他们的生活因此受到很大影响
that it jeopardizes the most important
比如他们的健康状况和人际关系
things in their life like their health andtheir relationships.
当他们面临健康问题时
And when they get confronted about it,
他们中的大部分人都会
a lot of these people have learned a little trick
用一套最近流行的说辞
that has been really trending lately. Apparently,
显然 我认识的每个身体不健康的人
everyone I know who is unhealthy is unhealthy
都是因医疗状况所致
because of a medical condition. Now,
我先声明 我并不是说
let me just be clear that I’m not saying
这些因素不存在
that these conditions don’t exist.
我只是想说 20个人里
I’m just saying that 19 out
有19个人都没有医疗条件
of 20 of these people don’t have it.
如果你不锻炼身体
If you do not exercise,
不好好吃饭 那建议你也别
if you do not eat healthy, you probably shouldn’t be going
告诉他人你超重和不健康
around telling people how you’re overweight and unhealthy
是因为医疗条件的问题
because of a medical condition. Yeah,
听者或许会当你是受害者
they might treat you like you’re the victim,
但实际上呢
but guess what?
他们同情你的唯一理由是
The only reason they sympathize with you is
他们并不在乎
because the last thing they care about is
你是否有好好照顾自己
whether you’re taking care of yourself ornot.
所以第三 练习自我负责
The third pillar is the practice of self-responsibility.
我从没听说哪个人不承担责任
I don’t know of a single person who doesn’t take responsibility,
爱扮演受害者
loves playing the victim
还能有很强的自尊心
and also has high self-esteem.
如果我有孩子的话 在他上大学之前
If I had a kid and I could only teach him one thing
我只会教他一件事 就是
before he went to college, it would
如何在压力下保持真我
be how to stay authentic to his true selfunder pressure.
不同于我和女朋友约会 我会喝点香槟
Other than special occasions with my girlfriend where I’ll have some champagne,
但我并不喝酒
I don’t drink
我觉得喝酒对人生无益
I haven’t found that to be something of value to my life.
在我上大学的时候
When I was in college,
我和朋友们一起出去 总会有人说
I would go out with my friends and there was always that thing of,
“来来来!
“Come on!
让我们一醉方休!”
Let’s get drunk.”
虽然我有很多事都不擅长
And I was bad at a lot of things,
但有一件我很擅长
but the one thing I was really good at was being really
就是坚持我所坚信的事
grounded in what I believed in.
实际上 这一点几乎在任何场合
In fact, in almost every case it turned
都受男生尊敬
into guys having respect for it and girls being
女生青睐
attracted to it.
再说一次 我不是有点儿坚信
Now again, I didn’t say I sort of believedin it.
我完全坚持我的原则 百分百不道歉
It was fully standing for what I believed in, 100 % unapologetic,
如果觉得不喝酒扫兴的话
and if that was a problem,
他们都知道我会离开 去别处潇洒
everyone always knew I could just leave and go have fun somewhere else.
我从不扫别人兴
I wasn’t half-assing anything.
第四 练习主见
The fourth pillar is the practice of self-assertiveness.
我解释一下
Now let me make it clear
有主见并不代表缺乏社交意识
that asserting yourself doesn’t mean lacking social awareness or
或一意孤行
being pushy.
如果某个聚会要喝酒的话
I didn’t go to a party
我就不会去 我会试着转变
where I knew people would be drinking and start converting and
和劝诫他们
preaching.
别犯傻了 这得取决于具体环境
Don’t be stupid with this, it depends onthe context.
如果是在教室里 我的表现会
I’m going to act a little differently if I’m
与在朋友面前时有些不同
in a classroom environment than if I’m
但这两种环境下
around friends, but I’m not going to go
我都不会背弃真实的自己
against my authentic self in either situation.
如果你看到一名企业家对工作很热情
If you meet an entrepreneur who is passionate about his business,
你还看到一个人
and if you also meet a
对他的常规工作漠不关心
person who is indifferent towards his regular job,
这名企业家肯定时刻保持着
the entrepreneur will almost always have
更高的自尊心
higher self-esteem.
为什么呢
Why is that?
因为这名企业家是现代战士
Because the entrepreneur is the modern daywarrior.
就像目标感很强的战士
Just like the warrior has a strong sense
为征服而生
of purpose and lives to conquer, so does the
这就是企业家
entrepreneur.
他自尊心更强是因为他有生活目标
He has higher self-esteem because he liveswith a purpose.
所以第五 练习有目标地生活
The fifth pillar is the practice of livingpurposefully.
最后 第六支柱是练习个人品德
And finally, the sixth pillar – the practiceof personal integrity.
注意我说的是个人品德 不是他人品德
Notice how I said personal integrity, notsomeone else’s integrity.
我去过一个军事学院
I went to a military academy and there were thousands
那里有几千条规矩要守
of rules I had to follow, and I
不过大部分我都没守
broke most of them and it didn’t
但这对我毫无困扰 也不影响我的自尊
bother me at all or affect my self-esteem in any way,
因为我并没有背弃
because those weren’t the things that went
我所坚信的事情
against what I believed in. But,
但如果我的行为与我的坚持不符
if I act against what I believe in,
我的内心会一遍又一遍地告诉我
my inner voice will tell me how I’m worthless
自己有多么无用
over and over again.
所以我知道
And only I will know,
当涉及自尊心的时候 真正重要的是
but when it comes to self-esteem, my inner voice is the one that
我内心的声音
matters the most.
你不可能一边听着脑袋里
You can’t have the voice
说自己无用的声音 同时还能一边
in your head telling you how worthless you are and build self-esteem
建立自尊心
at the same time.
这六大支柱由纳撒尼尔·布兰登提出
And these are the six pillars of self-esteemby Nathaniel Branden.
注意每个支柱开头都是“练习”
Notice how each pillar starts with “thepractice of.”
自尊并不是
Self-esteem is not something you build
读一本书或看一段视频就能建立的
by reading a book or watching a video; it is
你必须在余生里不断练习
something you build by constant practice for the rest of your life.

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视频概述

自尊需要练习,不断练习。

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收集自网络

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孤鹜

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视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dhuabY4DmEo

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