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如何重建自尊

How To Build Self Esteem - The Blueprint

面对低自尊是大多数人
Dealing with low self-esteem is something that
在某一刻都需要经历的事情
the large majority of people go through at one point or another.
我要老实告诉你
And I’ll be completely honest with you.
有一段时间
There was a period of time
我也挣扎于低自尊状态之中
where I struggled with it as well.
但是 我能战胜低自尊
But I was able to overcome it.
今天 我会向你们展示
And today I’m gonna show you the two steps
你需要做的两步
you need to take
以助你像我一样度过这个困难
in order to get past this hump, just like I did.
那么 如果你想使自我感觉更好
So if you want to start feeling better about yourself,
一定要看到视频结尾
make sure you watch this video till the very end.
那么 你首先要做的是
Now, the first thing you have to do is
摆脱这种恶性循环
to get out of the downward spiral.
低自尊者往往很少考虑自己
People with low self-esteem tend to think very little of themselves.
他们真的认为 他们没什么价值
They don’t really think that they’re worth much and because of this,
因此 他们经常照顾不好自己
they often don’t take care of themselves very well.
你可能会逃避洗澡
You might be skipping out on showers.
你可能忘记刷牙
You might be forgetting to brush your teeth.
你可能衣着随意
You might be dressing poorly.
你可能吃很多垃圾食品
You might be eating a bunch of junk food.
你可能沉迷于毒品和酒精
You might be indulging in drugs and alcohol.
即使你知道这些对你有害
Even though you know it’s bad for you.
因为你感觉你不值得被照顾
It’s because you feel like you’re not worth taking care of.
伴随而来的大问题是
The big problem with this is
当你不照顾自己
when you don’t take care of yourself,
身体 外表和感觉
your body, the way it looks, the way it feels,
都会开始敲响警钟
all of that starts to take a toll.
你的外表与感觉会开始越来越糟
You’re gonna start looking and feeling worse and worse
这会让你的自尊降得更低
and this will actually lower your self-esteem even more.
因为当你照镜子时
Because when you look in the mirror
你看见身体在退化
and you see your body deteriorating,
接下来你就更少为自己考虑
then you think of yourself even less.
这就是所谓的恶性循环
And this is what’s called a downward spiral.
因为每次循环
Because each time this cycle repeats itself,
每次你忘记个人卫生
each time you forget about personal hygiene
或纵容自己吃垃圾食品 摄入毒品
or binge out on junk food and drugs,
你的状态只会越来越糟
It just gets worse and worse.
你照顾自己越来越少
You take care of yourself less and less
由此
and because of that,
你感觉还没以前有价值
you’ll feel like even more worthless than before.
如果你想再一次自我感觉更好
The first thing you need to do
你要做的第一件事
if you want to start feeling better about yourself again,
是摆脱这个恶性循环
is to break out of this dangerous cycle.
如果你摆脱不了 你永远迈不出下一步
If you don’t break out of it, you’ll never be able to take next step
最终让你永远停留在低自尊的状态
that will eventually fix your low self-esteem.
跳出这个恶劣的循环
The best way to break out of this spiral is by
和看起来一样简单 就是照顾自己
as cheesy as it seems taking care of yourself.
如果你房间脏乱
If you’re someone who lives in a very dirty room,
那就打扫房间
then clean your room.
如果你没洗澡或没刮胡子
If you’re someone who doesn’t shower or shave,
那就先洗澡 刮胡子
then take care of that first.
如果你一直吃垃圾食品
If you’re someone who eats junk food all the time,
那你需要开始健康饮食
then you need to start eating healthier.
如果你有毒瘾
If you got a drug problem,
那你也必须要戒掉
then you have to stop that as well.
当然 说永远比做简单
Of course, all of this is easier said than done.
你不想做这些事也是很正常的
It naturally you’re not gonna want to do these things.
但是我保证 如果你做了
But I assure you if you do,
如果你改变对待自己的方式
if you change the way you treat yourself,
事态会越来越好 而非越来越坏
things will start to look better and better, instead of worse and worse.
如果你有很多坏习惯缠身
And if you’re someone who struggles a lot with bad habits,
我也有相应训练课程
I do have the tamed course
我会在简介中发布链接
which I will link to the description box below.
你们可以看完本视频去查看
They should check out after this video.
这是一门教你改正坏习惯
It’s an in-depth free course that will teach you
并且有深度的免费课程
how to take care of these bad habits.
现在 一旦你开始更注重自己
Now, once you start taking care of yourself more,
你也会面临一个新问题
you’re also gonna face a new problem
来自认知失调的阻力
which is resistant from cognitive dissonance.
当你脑中两种思想纠结时
Cognitive dissonance is the uncomfortable feeling you get
产生的不适感就是认知失调
when you have two conflicting thoughts in your head.
一方面 你想照顾自己
There’s a part of you that wants to take care of yourself
另一方面 你认为自己不值得
and there’s a part of you that thinks you don’t deserve it.
所以你会有这种想法
So you’re gonna have thoughts like,
“我为什么要照顾自己
“Why should I take care of myself?
我配不上这一切”
I don’t deserve it at all.”
“没必要照顾自己 我一文不值”
“There’s no point in taking care of myself. I’m worthless.”
现在 我要让你看看
Now, I’m gonna show you exactly what you need to do
战胜这个念头需要做的步骤
in order to combat this.
但在此之前 我想插入一则
But before I do that, I want to give a quick shut up to
本节视频赞助商的广告
the guys who’ve made this episode possible.
布里奥和他们智能牙刷
Brio and their smart clean toothbrush.
记住 如果你想修复你的自尊
Remember if you want to fix your self-esteem,
你得开始照顾自己
you have to start taking care of yourself.
这包括你的牙齿卫生
And this includes your dental hygiene.
事实上 2014年迪肯大学做的一项研究
In fact, a study conducted in 2014 by Deacon University
实际发现 卫生状况糟糕的牙齿
actually found that poor dental hygiene
与心理健康和抑郁有直接关系
is directly related to poor mental health and depression.
智能清洁是一种音波牙刷
Smart clean is a sonic toothbrush that
设计理念是使牙齿保健简单有效
is designed to make dental care easy and effective.
我已经试用了几周
I’ve been trying them out for a couple of weeks.
它比你们平时用的牙刷更好用
Now it’s way easier to use than your average toothbrush.
因为你不用担心错误的刷牙方式
And this is because you don’t have to worry about bad form.
这个牙刷会帮你正确地刷牙
The toothbrush will do the work for you.
你只要把牙刷放在牙齿上慢慢移动即可
All you have to do is gently move it across each tooth
牙刷甚至有一个内置计时器
and the toothbrush even comes with a built-in timer.
你能知道你到底需要刷多久
So you know exactly how long you should be brushing for it.
智能清洁在临床报告中被称为
Smart clean was actually named as
最好的牙科产品之一
one of the best dental products by the clinicians report.
如果你努力想保持牙齿卫生
So if you’re someone who struggles to maintain good dental hygiene,
那么这个牙刷正合适
then this is definitely the toothbrush to go for it.
点击简介中的链接
Click on the link in the description box below
用优惠码“PILL”可以得到特别优惠
and use promo code pill for a special offer.
好了 我们继续说第二步
All right. So that brings us back to step number two.
处理你的低自尊
To fix your low self-esteem.
因为那些想法时常出现在我们脑中
Now, one of the reasons we have low self-esteem
困扰着我们
to begin with, is due to the thoughts
所以我们就开始陷入了低自尊
that constantly harass us in our head.
你可能常常跟自己说
You might be the type of person who
“没人爱我” “没人想和我做朋友”
constantly says to themselves. Nobody loves me.
“我一文不值”等等
Nobody wants to be my friend. I’m worthless ect.
这种自语是我们
This type of self-talk is the reason why
感到自己不值的原因
we feel so poorly about ourselves.
随着时间流逝
These thoughts over time have convinced you
你越来越相信这种想法
that all of this is true
因为如果你重复听同一段话
and that’s because if you listen to the same line over and over again,
你就会开始相信
you start to believe it.
那么 为了停止这一切
Now, in order to put a stop to all of this,
停止这些消极思想
in order to stop these negative thoughts,
你需要开始冥想
you need to start meditating.
我在这个频道多次提到冥想
And I’ve spoken about meditation multiple times on the channel.
毫无疑问 这是你可以添加到生活的
It’s without a doubt, one of the most powerful habits
最强大的习惯之一
you can add to your life.
我会把链接放在简介栏
And I will include links in the description box below
链接中有适合你冥想的具体方法
that will show you exactly how to meditate properly.
但是冥想是如何增加自尊呢?
But what does meditation have to do with increasing your self-esteem?
冥想有很多作用
Well, meditation does a whole bunch of stuff.
但是其中最强大的好处之一是
But one of its most powerful benefits is the fact
它能为你应对自己的思想提供多种办法
that it provides you multiple skills for handling your thoughts.
首先 它能让你意识到你的想法
The first thing it teaches you how to recognize your thoughts
很多时候 当你对自己的评价消极时
oftentimes when we’re saying negative things to ourselves,
你甚至都注意不到
we don’t even notice it.
这些想法时常在背后响起
The thoughts just play in the background continuously
一天可能会出现十次甚至上百次
often dozens or even hundreds of times throughout the day.
当你让冥想成为习惯
When you make meditation into a habit,
你首先会开始注意到这些思想
one of the first things you’ll start to notice are these thoughts.
你会在产生消极思想之后
You’ll have a negative thought and realize
然后意识到 “我现在正有一个消极思想”
hey, I’m having one of those thoughts right now.
冥想能教会你的第二件事是
The second thing meditation will teach you to do is
如何重构这些思想
how to reframe these thoughts.
既然你意识到自己
Now that you’re aware that you’re
有一个消极思想 你就可以反击
having a negative thought you can counter it.
因此 如果你会冥想
So if you made meditations will happen
你就会发现像“我一文不值”这类思想
and you come across the thought like I’m worthless.
然后你能反击并对自己说
Then you can combat that and think to yourself.
“不 这不是真的”
No. That’s not true.
“我还是有点价值的”
I do bring something to the table.
“我非常擅长画画或聆听 而这能给别人带来快乐”
I’m very good at drawing or listening and that brings joy to other people.
这只是一个例子
This is just an example.
当然 你要具体情况具体分析
Of course, you’ll have to fit it to your unique situation.
有一个非常重要的原则要记住
Here’s a very important rule to keep in mind.
一个思想重复次数越多
The more times a thought is repeated,
你就越会相信它是真的
the more you will believe it to be true.
如果每次你都会反驳
So if you throw rebuttals at every single
脑中出现的消极思想
negative thought that comes your way,
你会开始相信他们是假的
you will start to believe that they are false.
这很有用 因为如果你做的次数足够多
This is powerful. Because if you do this enough times,
你会开始相信自己不是毫无价值
you’ll start to convince yourself that you are not worthless.
要注意 这个不会很快就起作用
Now it’s very important to note that this will not happen fast.
从客户的经验来看
From my experience working with clients,
我估计至少要冥想三个月
it’s actually gonna take at least three months of medication practice
才会重构你对自我的看法
to rewire how you think about yourself.
但是你每一次注意到消极思想
But every single time you notice a bad thought
并积极反击
and you actively counter it,
你的自尊都会涨一点点
your self-esteem will increase by just a little bit.
接下来就是冥想能带给你的
This brings us to the third and the final powerful thing
第三个也是最后一个有力的事
that meditation will allow you to do
即产生自己的思想
which is to create your own thoughts.
就像我刚刚提到的
Like I just mentioned,
脑中重复次数越多的思想
the more times the thought is repeated in your head,
你就越会相信它是真的
the more you will believe it to be true.
因此 在冥想成为习惯之后
So, it is possible after making meditation into a habit to
选择你想要相信的特定想法是可能的
pick and choose certain thoughts that you would like to believe.
例如 你开始在每天早上
Take for example, you start repearting to yourself
重复对自己说以下的话
every morning the following line.
“我很棒 我能帮助他人”
I am a good person who can do good things for others.
如果你开始每天对自己说这句话
If you start saying this line to yourself every single morning,
起初 你会感到有些抗拒
at first, you might feel some resistant.
你可能会认为这样的想法不对
You might notice thoughts like
或者要停止骗自己
that’s not true or stop lying to yourself.
如果你坚持 重复告诉自己
If you keep at it, if you keep repeating it to yourself,
这一积极思想最终会起作用
then this positive thought will eventually
你会相信这就是真的
try and you will believe it to be true.
还有非常重要的一点要注意
Now it’s very very important to note that
你想去相信的想法本就可信
the thought you want to believe is actually believable.
它一定是有几分真实的事
It must be something that is somewhat true.
你不能不停告诉自己
You can’t go round telling yourself that
你有魔力 会飞
you have magical powers and can fly it.
因为让自己相信本就不对的事
Because it’s gonna be pretty much impossible to start believing that
是非常不可能的
you want to pick a statement that is somewhat vague
就像我刚刚说过的例子
like the example I used before.
如果你这样想
I’m a good person who can do good things for others.
“我很棒 我能帮助他人”
If you think about it, almost anyone can
几乎任何人都能为他人做点什么
do something good for someone else.
这不难
It’s not that hard.
因此 冥想让这句话更易被相信
So, it makes this statement much more easy to believe.
如果你开始相信这类话
If you start to believe statements like this,
你会开始自我感觉更好
then you will start to feel better about yourself.
我再次重复
Again, I’m gonna repeat this.
如果你开始认为自己很棒
If you start thinking good statements about yourself,
你会开始相信自己是个好人
you will start believing that you are a good person
同时自我感觉也会更好
and you will feel better at the same time.
这就是处理低自尊的方法
That’s how you fix the low self-esteem.
再总结一下本视频
So again, just to sum everything up.
如果你想战胜低自尊
If you want to fix your low self-esteem,
需要简单的两步
it’s a simple two-step process.
第一 你要通过照顾自己
First, you must break out of
来跳出恶性循环
the downward spiral by taking care of yourself.
如果你不能阻止身体和思想的退化
If you don’t stop your body and mind from deteriorating,
你就不会有精神上的能力和力量
you will not have the mental capacity or strength
来正确完成第二步
to do the second step properly.
第二 让冥想成为习惯
The second step is to make meditation into a habit
开始重构思想 开始专注于
and to start reprogramming your mind, to start focusing on thoughts
让自己思想更积极而非消极
that will bring you up instead of down.
当然这些都是说起来容易 做起来难
Of course, all of this is much easier said than done.
但至少 你现在有一个计划了
But at least, now you have a blueprint.
再说一次 如果你想了解更多
Again if you’d like to learn more about breaking out
跳出恶性循环以及冥想的相关内容
of the downward spiral and meditation,
我在YouTube上有
I do have the tamed course
免费的训练课程
which is available on YouTube for free,
还有一些冥想视频可以看
as well as a couple of videos on mediation
我会把链接放在下面的简介里
that I will all link to in the description box below.
此外 大家要持续关注哦
Besides that guys stay tuned.

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视频概述

记得《人间失格》中有一句话,“生而为人,我很抱歉”,你是否也一再质疑自己存在的意义?

听录译者

徘徊的小孩

翻译译者

岸雩

审核员

审核员YZ

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9vnlSXm81U0

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