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怎样变得恶毒没人爱 – 译学馆
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怎样变得恶毒没人爱

How to be toxic and make no one like you. (or how to win friends and be more likable)

许多人喜欢读关于交朋友和社交的书
Many people read books on how to win friends, and be more social.
但今天我们不谈这个
But not today, not us.
也许你也想了解一下如何失去朋友
Maybe you want to learn how to lose your friends,
如何变成招人厌恶的人
and be an annoying toxic asshole, so people
让其他人这辈子都对你避之不及
will avoid you for the rest of your life,
没人与你分享人生的喜悦悲伤
that way you won’t have anyone to share your happiness or sadness,
直到孤零零躺在病榻上
and you can be all by yourself on your deathbed, remembered
无人照料
and cared by no one.
那可真是凄惨至极啊
And that is a pretty… awful place to bein.
让我们坐上前往孤独之地的火车
But since the train to lonely land departed,
开始我们悲惨的旅程
our journey has started.
变成讨人厌的第一步
And the first step to becoming a toxic
要保持自我吹嘘
person is to always Boast about yourself.
如果有人告诉你他们在健身
If someone tells you they work out,
你要马上回复他 你比他们练得强度更大
you tell them right away that you lift more than they do,
你每周健身六天 而不是像他们可怜的四天
and that you’re going 6 days instead of their measly 4. Always,
一定要时刻提醒他们
and i mean always state how
与你的天生神力相比 他们简直弱爆了
inferior and mortal they are compared to you and your godlike capabilities. See,
你要是问他们平时都做什么运动啊
if you ask them what kind of workout they do,
平时爱吃什么啊
or what is their diet, you might
那可不是我们想要的
appear human… and that is a terrible thing!
因为他们可能真的会喜欢和你聊天
They might actually like the conversation
还会邀请你去一起锻炼
and invite you to work out together.
但这可不是交朋友的时候
But this is no time for making friends,
这个时候应该表现出你比他们更快更强大
it’s time to show them that you’re faster, stronger
如果你想让他们立刻鄙视你的话
and if you want to make them despise you instantly,
只要告诉他们你的智商比谁都高就行了
just tell them how superior your IQ is.
这种方法屡试不爽
Works 100% of the time, every time.
第二 成为最差的听众
Become the worst listener.
如果你没有成功的打断别人的话
If that didn’t cut it and i
那你需要多试几次
really doubt any sane person would like to be friends with
(我真的怀疑像你这样讨人厌的人
you after making them feel bad everytime they see you
居然还会有人会和你说话)
) well then you can kick it up a notch.
简单来说这就是变成最差的倾听者的方法
Simply become the worst listener there is.
我的意思是 你干嘛要在意别人说什么
I mean why should you care what the other person have to say,
关键在于你应该说什么
what matters is what YOU have to say.
当别人在说的时候 不感兴趣地看向一边 打哈欠
While they are talking, either look to the side uninterested, yawn,
或者已经想好了下一个
or better yet think about the next cool
更酷更吸引人的话题
and interesting story that you’re going to tell,
让周围所有的事物都围着你转
make everything revolve around you,
这样就没人会再找你玩了
that’ll teach them to never again call or invite you anywhere.
如果这些都不管用的话 这里有一个三步法则
And if all else fails, there is a foolproof three step formula.
戴尔·卡耐基曾经说过
Dale Carnegie said:
批评是无用的 因为人们总是会进行自我防御
Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually
并努力为自己辩解
makes them strive to justify themselves.
批评是危险的 因为它会伤害一个人宝贵的自尊心
Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person’s precious pride,
让他失去理智
hurts his sense
甚至会激起他的怨恨
of importance, and arouses resentment.
但对于我们来说
And for us,
这可以完美的让别人打心底里厌恶你
it is the perfect recipe to make you hated and despised.
所以无论什么时候,尽量多地批评别人
Criticize whenever you can, as much as you can,
如果一个人做错了事
if someone makes a mistake be sure to
请公开他的错误让所有人都知道
publicly make everyone know about it,
你甚至可以稍微夸大事实
you can also exaggerate a little bit, you know
这样他一定会对你恨之入骨
so we can be sure that the person really hates your guts.
不问原由谴责他人
Condemn people for their behaviour without first asking why,
然后反复地抱怨
and also religiously complain
你身边的所有事物
about absolutely everything.
目的就是让周围的人把你和消极情绪
The goal is to make people associate you
联系起来 比如愤怒 失望 嫉妒
with negative emotions like anger, frustration, envy,
自负 傲慢等等
pride, arrogance and so on.
请多次确认以上几点
Try to check as many of these as possible.
嫉妒是你的朋友
Jealousy is your friend.
虽然不像真正的朋友……你懂的
Not like a real friend, you know..
因为我们人渣可不需要什么朋友
We’re trying to get rid of them but whatever,
嫉妒才是你真正的朋友
Jealousy is your friend.
如果你的朋友生意做的不错
If your buddys business is doing great,
保持嫉妒并且告诉自己
be jealous of him and always mention the worst
他的公司可能就要倒闭了
case scenarios that his company might fail,
或者有人会抢劫他 或者
someone might rob him, his product isn’t
他的产品很糟糕 你根本不会用
the good and you wouldn’t use it personally.
记住根本没有双赢的情况
Remember there is no Win-win situation,
如果有人赢了 很明显你就是那个
if someone else is winning then apparently you’re
失败者!
losing!
如果基友找到女朋友
If your friend finds a cute girl,
在他女友前尽情损他
start to mention all of his flaws in front of her,
如果你没有女朋友
if You don’t have a cute girl to talk to,
那么别人也不行
neither will he!
啥?
What?
啥啥?
What is that?
你兄弟的女朋友可能有漂亮妹子介绍给你哦
Your buddy’s girl might have cute friendsyou could talk to?
不不不
Nahh,
还是不要这样比较好
it’s better this way.
他又不是你朋友 嫉妒才是
he’s not your friend, jealousy is your friend.
最后一点 对他人撒谎
And lastly, just lie to people.
这是目前最简单的失去别人
This is by far the easiest way to
对你的信任和陪伴的方法
lose people’s trust and also their company.
将生活建立在谎言之上 让它成为一种习惯
Build your life upon lies, make it a habit,
然后 潜意识地执行它
and then do it subconsciously.
有趣的是 如果你开始撒谎
The funny thing is that you can amplify the effect
就会放大前几步方法的效果
of the previous steps if just start
让别人更讨厌你
to lie.
当你吹牛的时候 你可以撒谎
Lie when you boasting about yourself,
当你讲故事的时候 可以撒谎
lie when you’re telling stories, and lie when
当在别人面前批评某个人的时候 也可以撒谎
your criticizing someone in front of others,
如果你能对自己亲密的朋友 或是其他对你很重要的人撒谎
bonus points if you lie to your close friends
那会是个加分项
or your significant other.
我的意思是 撒谎很容易
I mean it’s so easy to lie,
这并不完全是一件坏事
it couldn’t possibly be a bad thing..
以上这些就是让人变讨厌的方法
Those are few of the steps
参照这些方法 可以轻松的让自己变成一个遭人嫌弃 无依无靠
that you can easily follow to make you one hated, friendless
郁郁寡欢的人
and unhappy person.
不过严肃的来说
But in all seriousness,
如果你想过更幸福的生活 维持长久的关系
if you want to live a happier life, create long lasting relationships
让人们真正地喜欢你
and make people truly like you,
只需努力地去站在以上提及的对立面
just try to do the opposite of everything that was mentioned
就可以了
in the video.
因为我认为这个世界对于所有人都是公平的
Because I think the world has its fair share
包括经常嫉妒 批评和指责别人
of envious people, friends who criticize and condemn,
为人恶毒和爱撒谎的人
toxic individuals and people wholie.
所以不要成为以上清单中的一类人
Don’t be a part of that list..
下次再见
and until next time, Goodbye.

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视频概述

这集我们将讨论哪些行为会让我们变得令人反感,遭人嫌弃,让我们的生活充满冷漠和孤单,当然你也可以避免这些行为,赢得他人的尊重,过上幸福的生活

听录译者

收集自网络

翻译译者

方俊杰

审核员

审核员 AF

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bEOCPA_JcLI

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