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怎样变得自私 – 译学馆
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怎样变得自私

How To Be Selfish

自私总被视作人类最坏的品质之一
We’re always hearing that being selfish is one of the worst character traits that anyone could possess.
它被视作贪婪 权利和残酷的混合体
It’s smacks of greed, entitlement, and cruelty.
可是 我们最终没有过上理想的生活 并变得刻薄 怨气冲天 易怒
And yet, some of the reason we fail to have the lives we should, and thereby end up mean, bitter, and irritable,
其中部分原因要归为问题的反面――极度的无私
is because we’re suffering from an opposite problem: an excessive selflessness–
这是指夸张的谦虚 或者说对其它人过于草率的顺从
an exaggerated modesty, an over-hasty deference to the wishes of everyone but ourselves.
我们的问题在于我们还不够自私
Our problem is that we’re not selfish enough.
我们对于自私正反面的混淆
We collectively get muddled because we fail to
导致了我们的生活变得一团糟
distinguish between good and bad versions of selfishness.
有益的 值得提倡的自私 是在关键时刻有把自己放在首位的勇气和自知
The good, desirable kind of selfishness involves having the courage and self-awareness to give priority
是直率表达自己所需时的自信
to ourselves at particular points, the confidence to be forthright about our needs–
这并不意味伤害或者拒绝别人 而是能更好的 更长久地服务他人
not in order to harm or reject other people, but in order to serve them in a deeper, more sustained
是一种长期的保障
and committed way over the long term.
另一方面 有害的自私是视野上的狭隘 思想上的不成熟
Bad selfishness, on the other hand, operates with no greater end in view, and no higher motive in mind.
我们很乐意分享我们的资源 很乐意做雪中送炭的事
We’re not declining to help so as to marshal our resources, to offer others a greater gift down the line,
前提是不要扰乱我们的生活
we just can’t be bothered.
不幸的是 两者的区别深深困扰着我们 使我们
Unfortunately, afflicted by confusion about this distinction, we frequently fail to be brave enough
始终在需要清晰提出自己的要求时不敢勇敢
about stating our needs as clearly as we should,
这使我们想履行的义务以灾难收尾
with disastrous results precisely for those we’re meant to serve.
比如说 要成为一个合格的家长 我们可能需要每天给自己预留一个小时
For example, in order to be a good parent, we may need to have an hour to ourselves every day.
我们可能需要一个长时间的热水淋浴来沉思
We may need to take a long time in a hot shower to mull over events.
我们可能需要一些看起来比较任性的事 比如人体素描或者单簧管训练
We may need to do something that seems a bit indulgent, like a life drawing or clarinet lesson.
但由于我们也意识到这些心愿看上去是和期望相反的
But because we may sense how contrary to expectations these desires can seem,
我们最终还是对自己的所需一言不发 直接进展我们的工作
we might opt to stay quiet about our requirements and just get on with the job.
结果我们变得越来越疲倦、愤怒 对依赖我们的人感到不满
And so, we grow increasingly ragged, angry, and bitter with those who rely on us.
缺乏自私会让我们慢慢成为超级难以相处并且毫无用处的那类人
A lack of selfishness can turn us– slowly– into highly disagreeable, as well as ineffective, people.
有益的自私衍生出了 一个合理的解释:我们的需求
Good selfishness grows out of an unembarrassed understanding of what we need in order to maximize
是为更好地服务他人而产生的
our utility for others.
作为具有积极自私的人们 我们按照他人需求来发展我们能力 让我们的思想不跑偏
As good selfish people, we accept what we require to develop our abilities, get our minds into the right frame,
振作精力 使我们的想法和意见条理化
summon our most useful powers, and organize our thoughts and feelings
这样我们最终才能成为对世界有用的人
so that they can, eventually, be helpful to the world.
在抉择时刻 我们承认我们不得不放弃
We recognize that we will, at select moments, have to back out of doing things
人们所期待我们做的事
that people would very much like us to do.
但我们不会为委婉地解释其中的原因而内疚
But we have no compunction about politely explaining that we just can’t be there for them…
不同于无私的人 他们总是忠实地对你微笑 帮你摆脱困境 然后某天他们的怨恨和歇斯底里的愤怒终会爆发
unlike the selfless, who will dutifully smile and help out and then one day explode in vindictive, exhausted rage.
作为一个与人为善的利己主义者 我们或许会为这个词字面意义上的感情色彩所困惑 但我们与生俱来的
We know, as kind egoists, that we may be confused with the mean-spirited, but our innate conviction
坚定的真挚 会使我们坦然的 优雅的用我们自己的方式来追随自己的目标
of our sincerity lends us the calm to pursuit our aims politely in our own way.
为了不被人指责我们过度自私 技巧对于如何表达自己的想法
So as not to be accused of the wrong sort of selfishness, the trick is to become a better ambassador
变得尤为重要
of your intentions.
我们不得不采用温和的 有说服力的手段来让周围人相信我们并不是懒惰无情
We have to persuasively and kindly convey to those around us that we’re not lazy or callous
(事实上我们确实不是啊)
(and indeed we’re not),
向他人展示我们就是能更好地满足他们的需要
but we have to show them that we will simply better serve their needs
只不过暂时不会做他们期望的事
by not doing the expected things for a while.
招人喜爱的人也会去冒着被人讨厌的高风险去使用这些技巧
Sweet people run the strange but highly important risk of becoming an nuisance to other people
总是把别人放在首位只是一个听起来很棒但实际并不对的观念
by what sounds like, but really isn’t, a good idea: always putting others first.
那些具有积极自私的人知道 有时优先考虑自己才是最好的
As good, selfish people know, sometimes, putting oneself first may actually be the best way
长期服务他人的解决方案
to serve others properly in the long run.

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视频概述

相比无私的人,自私的人才能更好地为别人服务?

听录译者

收集自网络

翻译译者

Wenyu

审核员

萨默之光

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-kArjCybqpc

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