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怎样变得悲伤

How to Be Sad

我们当然都想要快乐
We all want of course to be happy
但奇怪的是真正的快乐是
But the strange thing about being properly happy
一种状态 它需要我们去学习
is that it’s a state that requires us to learn
并定期练习一个听起来有点奇怪的技巧
and regularly practice a slightly odd sounding related skill:
学会难过
knowing how to be sad.
每天都会有一堆事情以各种伤心的方式发生在我们身上
Everyday a lot of stuff happens to us which is in one way or another pretty hurtful:
某某没来电话 某某拒绝了我 某个项目行不通
Someone doesn’t call; someone says no; a project isn’t going to work out
你以为我们会自然而然的伤心一会儿 然后就没事
You’d think we then just spontaneously feel sad for a bit and that would be the end of it.
但事实上 似乎并不是每个人都是这样的
But that’s not it seems how many of us actually work.
我们天生神经质的大脑会常常
Frequently our minds which are squeamish by Nature
残酷地排挤不幸的负面情绪
Rigorously shut out unfortunate negative feelings
并进入一种心理学家称之为「否认」的状态
and go into a state of what psychologists called, denial.
拒绝接受那些令人难以接受的事实
Where difficult but true information is refused access.
结果我们可能会隐藏自己的感受 引发出一些症状
We may, as a result of burying our feelings, develop a number of symptoms
我们会失眠 身体某些部分开始痉挛 对某事上瘾
We can’t sleep, bits of our bodies start a twitch, we develop an addiction.
或者还有另一种选择
Or, there’s another option.
当然 我们不会变得极其高兴 但有些苦涩的脸庞上带着脆弱和倔强
We become extremely, surely, not happy as such, but brittle and insistent in a face kind of bitterness
这种快乐忍受不了任何悲伤
The sort of happiness that can’t tolerate any sadness.
本和弗蕾亚是一对夫妻
Here’s a couple Ben and Freya.
弗蕾亚的内心是很悲伤的 但她早已学会将一切隐藏在潜意识里
There’s a lot of sadness in Freya, but she’s learned not to let any of it in to conciousness
所以 她常常表现得非常乐观
so, she’s often extremely cheery,
并情愿忽视他人的需要也不想变得伤心
and rather bad at picking up on other people’s need to be sad.
让我们来看一段关于这类人的短片
Let’s watch a little film about these people.
啊 你怎么了 一脸忧郁的样子
Ah, what’s wrong with you? Looking all gloom?
没什么可忧郁的 这可是周末呀
Nothing to be gloom about. it’s the weekend!
这周末我们干嘛去好呢 派对 派对
What should we do this weekend? party, party~
那是什么歌 星期五 星期五 星期五要放松
What’s that song? Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday~
-我们能不能谈谈 -你也喜欢的不是吗
– Can we just talk?- You love that don’t you?
知道吗 我想着有一天你唱卡拉OK超好
Know what, I think about the other day, you’re so good at karaoke.
我喜欢你唱歌的样子
I love it when you do karaoke.
#周六之夜 我喜欢你跳舞的样子#
Saturday night and I like the way you move, yeah.
我只想 嘿 听我说 你知道你现在很难应付嘛 陪我玩嘛
– I just think…look, listen…- You don’t know you’re ticklish around in here?
我们应该拥有同情心
We need to be sympathetic,
快乐的源头是颇为痛苦的
the origins of jolliness are pretty painful.
通常 他们的父母或者早年养育他们的人
They’re often to do with having had a parent or early caregiver
因各种原因根本不能承受问题或困难
who for one reason or another couldn’t tolerate problems or any difficulties.
他们可能会抑郁或内心脆弱
They were perhaps depressed or otherwise fragile.
因此 从很早开始
So, quite early on,
这群欢乐焦虑者们便扮演起了乐观的拉拉队员的角色
the manically jolly person got into the role of being an upbeat cheerleader.
不是他们天生如此 而是必需这样
Not because they were, but because they had to be.
痛苦当然是一种很可怕的感受
Pain is of course a horrible thing to feel.
但因为它是我们现实生活的一部分
But because it is a part of our reality
我们需要有勇气去允许它自然发生
We need to have the courage to allow it to work its way properly through our system.
我们需要确切地感受到生命中的痛苦
We need to learn to feel the pain of our lives authentically
这样愉悦才会同样真实
before it’s joys can feel real as well
回避问题是种诱人的做法
Pushing problems aside is deeply tempting
但要感受真正的愉悦
But our pleasures will only feel authentic
我们得先在生命中给痛苦留下必要的空间
when we’ve first given the pain all the space it truly deserves in our lives.
我们乐于与你分享这些视频
We love bringing you these films.
如果你希望帮助我们继续为你提供有深度的内容
If you want to help us to keep bringing you thoughtful content
现在请浏览屏幕上的链接 支持我们的网上商城
Please consider supporting us,by visiting our shop at the link on your screen, now.

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视频概述

想要从内心深处感受到真实的快乐,先得为悲伤提供一席之地

听录译者

收集自网络

翻译译者

掠影

审核员

vicky

视频来源

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s5tjjHoXoEI

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